Surfhunny's Countdown to Florida

[Surfhunny]

Oh dear I feel a bit sick waiting for this England Vs Ireland rugby match. A lot is riding on my boys, if they win they've won the Grand Slam in a World Cup year, very important.... but the don't do too well under pressure God I'm nervous!!!

The usual alcohol and crisps are missing from this event, instead I have bottle of water But its in my best interest, trouble is water doesn't calm the nerves. Lol anyone would think I was playing. Its rugby though, and its important to me, I've been brought up on it.

:vibes:Come on Englandarty0011:

 

[great things]

you could duck tape the window shut.

 

[Surfhunny]

Ha ha, I always have a roll of extra wide tape in my car in case of a window malfunction, pity I never thought of it for the car wash....next time!!!

 

[Surfhunny]

Ooh it's all quiet on here tonight. Day 1 complete without mishap!! Day 2 shouldn't be a problem either, off to the gym and Toys R Us and possibly Sainsburys if there's time. I hate that shops close early on Sundays. S'burys might have to wait until Monday, I only need water, can survive on plain stuff for one day lol.

I tried my uniform (16) on today it's too big!! So I tried my size 12 uniform on I got it on and zipped up but it's sooooo tight, couldn't breathe or move in it, but it zipped up, one day it will fit!!

 

[old_user45]

Well done on day 1 sweets! Not long till the big K comes and works it's magic!! Size 12 uniform is just round the corner...I feel it in me bones!!

 

[cornishkez]

What did the size 16 uniform being too big get a sad face? Shouldnt it have been a smily one?

 

[MinnieMel]

you could duck tape the window shut.

My DS thinks duck tape is good for everything! But he wouldn't let me make his prom tux out of it!

What kids do to win this contest (make your prom clothes out of duct tape and wear them to the prom -- the school gets money and the kids get college scholarhsips), is amazing!

MM

@Sal --

Friday sounds like it was a good night out, and you've been recuperatiing for ages. it is good to get out and clear the cobwebs.

I hope you have a good day tomorrow on your first day back at work. (Can you take in the 16? Do you have anything between the 12 and 16 to wear?)

MM

 

[great things]

it's great that your 16 uniform is massive another week or 2 max and you'll slip right into that size 12!

 

[Surfhunny]

Kez I think the sad face was more about having to get my uniform out than it being too big. I've got various sizes of uniform from last time I worked back down to 12.

The sizes are so random. I've got them all out in the bed, obviously the 12's are my goal. But I've got uniforms that fit better than the 16 one but they have size 20 on the label and my one that has 14 on the label fits ever so slightly better than the 12. Still can't move in it. It's going to take a lot more than two weeks to get into those uniforms properly

I'm just plucking up the courage to go on the scales, after a week of 810, my minor bingette and my night of booze on Friday I'm feeling like Mrs Blobby. Not good!

Day two in the CD house and Sally is feeling very ratty!!! Put 2lb on this week measurements are up on my waist too, from 34" to 35".

I'll have to pull my finger out this week!!

 

[great things]

You can do it. It'll be off within days. Been reading beck. Made a list

 

[Surfhunny]

Just before I head out to the gym I just need to clear my head a bit!

It's amazing how one STS last week has set such a negative spiral in place, I now need to claw back my 2lb gain this week.

It seems that as soon as I set myself any kind of goal my body thinks "fcuk this you can't tell me what to do" and rebels against me I suppose at least I know why I've gained this week, it's not a surprise.

I feel quite miserable today, even though the gain was no surprise and was totally deserved. I can feel myself slipping back into being governed by the numbers on the scales again. I feel under pressure to "perform" and I'm stressed to hell about going back to work tomorrow!!

If I'm honest I'm sh!tting myself. I have to spend my first day with my line manager, whose attitude to me changes when our manager isn't there. He will be waiting (& expecting ) for me to fall flat on my face. As part of my role I perform a minor operation, I have my own list of patients in my own room away from him so while I'm under pressure, it's not from him. Tomorrow my list is in his room with him watching me like a hawk.

It's ridiculous that he makes me feel like this, because he can't do what I do, he didn't have the guts to go for the post when it came up so he has no business judging and scrutinizing me, but he does because he's never had the faith in me that I can do it, even though I've been doing it for over 2 years now!! Aaargh I'm annoyed with myself for feeling like this :cry: I'm putting extra pressure on myself for allowing myself to be bothered by him!!
I was already going through a bit of a confidence crisis with this operation before I went off sick, so this is the last thing I need, I'd have liked to just get on with it on my own, to prove to myself I can still do it. I'm dreading it!!!

And as a consequence to all this stress and pressure I'm feeling like I want to eat everything under the sun, and I can't because I'm already dealing with the consequences of last week, I can't add to the pressure by creating more weight to lose. I'm so fed up and really need to pull myself together!!

Right I'm going to the gym, maybe endorphins will help. Sorry for this miserable post but I just needed to get it out of my head!!

 

[great things]

There's no point feeling sorry for yourself or eating yourself into oblivion as it will not improve how you feel. Keep on track and think logically as to why you've put on. I think it's not only the day off plan with your friend but stress affects my losses so why not yours! You are obviously not looking forward to going back to this situation and your body and it's hormones are playing you.

Be confident. You got this job, you can do these minor ops (probably better than that LM who's watching you)! Ignore him being there focus on your patient making them feel happy and comfortable. Talk to them as much as you can and forget him being there.

Food - nothing makes up for that STS or gain. It's not nice. It's uncomfortable. You feel you've let yourself and others down. It's depressing etc etc. I could go on and on!!!! Put it behind you, it is now in the past and you have a future full of losses to look forward to! Dont let this one little slip up start the whole pack of dominoes falling. You are better than this. You deserve more!

Weighing in - what about a fortnightly weigh in. It's better than not getting weighed. You still keep on track but it might stop these negative feelings.

Just a few thoughts. Hope you had a fab time at the gym.

 

[great things]

where are you surf you ok? worried.

 

[Surfhunny]

I'm here, just got home now. I went to my mums after the gym.

Thanks for your reply it's exactly what I needed to hear!! I read it in the car before I went into the gym and it made me cry a bit, but not in a bad way. It was more with relief!! Every bit of what you said makes perfect sense.

From now on I'm going to move to weighing every two weeks. It'll be better for my sanity I think

I had a fab session at the gym, I was smiling like an idiot at times. It felt so good to be back there. I didn't over do it:

15 mins on the bike
20 mins on treadmill doing incline intervals walking
5 mins on cross trainer,
Weights for 30 mins and swimming for 30 mins.

I was so tempted to have a little jog but I didn't dare. Want to do it under supervision first.

And as for work.... It's 4 hours I can ignore his attitude for 4 hours!!

 

[great things]

So glad. Thought you'd gone into a mega upset! Phew!

 

[Surfhunny]

No not at all, feel much better actually. It's nice to get some perspective!!! Still bricking it about work but mum has given me some advice on how to keep my cool with LM.

I am seriously starting to wonder if I'm in the right job though. I'm going to see how it goes once I'm back full time, but might have to seriously think about retraining, or trying lecturing at the uni.... We'll see.

 

[kimmi1982]

Hope all goes well today- thinking of you xx

 

[Surfhunny]

Thanks Hun, I'm all ready to go, been pacing the floor for last ten minutes I've forced myself to sit down!!

I've got very confused about when to have my shakes, so I'm going to have my first just before I go out, take a bar with me to have on way home then have my K cottage pie a bit later than normal. Ill have to do the same on wednesday too. Hopefully that'll be okay!

Tuesday, Thursday and Friday will be easier, get up have first shake, go to work, have 2nd shake when I get home at 2pm then K spag bol/cottage pie at normal time.

Better just check I've got all my badges, pens etc then have my shake. I feel like it's my first day or something!

 

[great things]

hope all is well. i STS at weigh in.

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Sal,

I hope your first day back went well.

@Nikki -- That is good, no?

MM