I probably could take a shaker but I can never get the shakes smooth enough with the shaker alone, I can't stand lumpy shakes. I've got enough willpower to ignore the treats that are constantly available in the staffroom - it actually gives me a sick kind of pleasure to resist and not help myself
I've just been having a look at the photo's I took last week at the beginning of the diet, I'm actually quite disgusted with what I've done to my body. It looks terrible, I'm like the Michelin man :cry:rolls of flab. My stomach is aweful!! I'm mortified!! There's no wonder Ash left when thats what he had to look at, why wouldn't he want to be with someone with a better body? There's plenty of girls around with better bodies.
The damage is done now, and no matter how much I diet and exercise there's no way it'll ever look nice again. It makes me miserable, and it looks like I've got a round cushion stuck on the front of me below my boobs and above my belly button. From the side it looks even worse :cry:I'm not brave enough to put pictures on here. Maybe further down the line if I see a difference but for now I'm too ashamed. I might as well accept that my stomach is a complete mess and try and focus on getting my legs and arms looking better.
I feel like I might have a touch of Body Dysmorphia but it really makes me miserable and self conscious.
Still diet-wise, still going strong! To be honest now I'm over the first bad few days I'm fine. I can still have arguments with myself over whether to eat something or not, but I know that I won't give in to myself, I wanted ice cream earlier and decided it would be okay just once, but I havent bought any, and don't feel deprived of it either. I'm okay on the diet I'd just like some good fast losses to get me on the way. I'm not weighing myself at all for a while to avoid the mind games that I have when I see my weight.