Surfhunny's Countdown to Florida

[great things]

Get some of those super Tenalady things!

Happy Thursday, Sal.

How is it going?

i need adult nappies the way i'm peeing! the scales are not my friend right now! nothing much is changing on the down scale only on the up scale! poo problem i think, as you know from my diary.

 

[Surfhunny]

FML I am in trouble!! :cry: I'm completely out of control and I can't stop it. I'm so upset with myself, I dread to think what the damage is. I'm tired, completely worn out with family matters. I think my gran has had a stroke, in my opinion she needs to be in hospital to get it sorted out. But no one is listening to me, no one wants to admit that its happened. My cousin and mum are the only people who see what's going on and we're powerless.

I feel so sorry for my gran cos she's in the hospice, and is feeling so isolated, even though she has lots of visitors. She needs to be made more comfortable than they can make her, she needs a brain scan and her medications checking and nothing is getting done, because she's there for respite and her own GP sees her and he's sh1t!!!

And every night the family (we're quite like the mafia, without the violence), gets together and talks etc. now they won't listen to me, at first they all wanted my opinion because I'm the 'medical one' but now they don't want to listen because it's not what they want to hear, I'm not saying she'll get well again so they're shutting me out, but I'm right. It's horrifying how selfish they're being, Dad doesn't have much clout either, being the youngest son

So as a result I'm completely out of control diet wise and I just can't seem to regain control. So I'm stressing about gran and stressing even more about my diet, and gaining weight. How can I get back in control?? I need help, I'm at my wits end with it. I can't stop :cry: I want to be thin, I want to do CD properly, I want to stop stuffing my face, but I can't seem to put it into action. I'm gutted about that too

 

[bettiesrevenge]

Hi sal, just read your diary. And I can affiliate so much, my nan had been cared for at home by my dad, doubly incontinent with a round the clock care package. My dads own health went into decline because he only lost his wife a few years ago and he nursed her through lymphoma and then my nan.

I felt much like you, but in the end I took the view that she needs rapid access respite and called the duty team to sort it. They went round and explained what was happening and why. She hasn't got long left for sure. I'm no medical expert but she is not drinking or eating, so if that continues I can't imagine anyone will prolong her life by a hospital admission for drips etc. I'm not even sure they could get a line in.

I'm coping by taking some deep breaths, Benjamin bonetti on my iPod and doing 810! I know you have sucky shift patterns to contend with but can you try and take some time for yourself?

Big hugs!

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Sal,

I think Nat's advice is spot on.

Call in reinforcements (A social worker, a charity for the elderly, etc.)for your nan.

Then find some sort of help for you (like a slimpod, visit or phone call with your CDC or someone else who would be a supportive diet coach,etc.); get your ARCs and read them -- remember WHY you want this; and if ATM CD SS is too much, then up your plan or find a different diet (Atkins, South Beach, etc.) that CAN work for you.

You don't quit -- you regroup. Get rid of whatever it is that you a eating from your home, do not bring your money into work with you (bring only your planned nutrition and water), and schedule some fitness (it'll help with the stress, up your metabolism, and off-set the calories you have consumed off-plan).

Also -- do what you can, and accept that you are not always able to be in control and that you alone are not responsible. It is frustrating, but your nan's care is not your responsibility or your choice.

HUGS!

 

[great things]

i agree.... call in the reinforcements. get your family onside with a bit of alien talk..... i know if hurts to hear this but nan is not good. i believe that she's frightened and XYZ has happened to her to make her feel this way. something must be done to make her feel better and i believe that calling in help from XYZ people will help us as they'll tell us what the best thing to do FOR HER is! leave it to the 'professionals' and push them in the right direction. people can be blind when it comes to loved ones. if it was left to my mum and dad my mum's leg would be half rotten and hanging off right now..... seriously i had to push her to say yes to her consultant as this is what he was saying to her but she didn't hear it.

diet wise. why are you eating? what good is it doing? make a list of positive and negatives for this situation and how you are feeling NOW. think about why you want to do this diet! etc etc

i'm struggling as i'm feeling mega pi$$ed off at everything. i know i've got it 'easy' but i don't want to go back to work i want to be with my baby dude... matthew. i'm seriously missing them and i'm stressed to hell over everything that i'm trying to do. i'm scoffing cheese - i think i ate some mouldy stuff last night as i ate some and it was foul then i saw a bit of mould on another piece which even the dog wouldn't eat. i need biscuits, crisps and wine right now and i'm really struggling with it all. even more so since i returned to work as i need the loo every 2 seconds which is stressful for me as i have to hold it in so i limit my drink intake which makes me consitpated and then it gives me piles and i bleed.

 

[great things]

I'm very upset today. I've not said but hubby bought me nothing for my birthday last Tuesday. I got a card from him and one from the kids. I bought a coat for myself at Xmas time (I needed one) and to stop him kicking off about the money I'd spent on it (£90) I said it was an early birthday pressie. Then after Xmas he bought himself a new coat £200. It only really twigged last night that he took it that my coat was the pressie yet he got one too! I'm so slow! I cooked my own birthday meal and bought my own cake. My aunts up from London and my parents went out last night for a meal with her. We were not invited even though my mum said that they'd take us out for a birthday meal for me. Just had it out with my hubby and he begrudgingly said well I'll take you to nandos. He constantly says we have no money. So where he's getting the money from I just don't know! We need a new phone..... No money. Got a call from ems speach Lang referral and I can't phone back cause the answer machine cuts off the last few seconds of every call!.... We have no money for one! I need some new glasses..... We have no money for them!

He's just had another go at me now! He just won't leave me alone to calm down. Having another and another go. Called him hurtful!

 

[Teeyore]

chin up hun my birthday was thursday and i got one card from MIL that was it..... and i never even got anything as an early birthday pressie! birthdays suck! x

 

[great things]

Sally - thought this was diary! So sorry for kicking off in yours!

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Sally --

I hope that things are going better for you re: your nan and the difficult situation that exists. I also hope that you are managing to get a little a more control over your own life and needs... you're important, too. HUGS!

I'm very upset today. I've not said but hubby bought me nothing for my birthday last Tuesday. I got a card from him and one from the kids.

I bought a coat for myself at Xmas time (I needed one) and to stop him kicking off about the money I'd spent on it (£90) I said it was an early birthday pressie. Then after Xmas he bought himself a new coat £200. It only really twigged last night that he took it that my coat was the pressie yet he got one too! I'm so slow!

Men! My husband is not a great gift giver... he just can't be arsed. In all fairness, he does not care if I get him anything either. So, I usually buy my own gifts and tell him what he got me. He always makes some sort of joke like, "Wow, I have good taste" or "I always know what to get you." However, I do get him a gift (most of the time) but it is either something I WANT him to have or something I want for the house. LOL

I cooked my own birthday meal and bought my own cake.

And, I would not want to eat a cake my DH baked. I order one from a bakery, so I do not have to make my own.

My aunts up from London and my parents went out last night for a meal with her. We were not invited even though my mum said that they'd take us out for a birthday meal for me.

Do you think it is because you are on a diet or they thought it'd be a bit much with the kids along? Ask your dad about it later -- let him know "nicely" that you disappointed.

Just had it out with my hubby and he begrudgingly said well I'll take you to nandos. He constantly says we have no money. So where he's getting the money from I just don't know!

Do you want to go out? He is trying. I am sure he is concerned about money -- your daughter just started a private school (and cut up those jumpers) and you said the caravan was costing you a fair sum.

You'll soon be getting paychecks and that will ease some of the burden. Take an IOU on the birthday gift and get yourself something you really wnant once your pay starts coming in --

We need a new phone..... No money.

and get the new phone, too.

Got a call from ems Speech Lang referral and I can't phone back cause the answer machine cuts off the last few seconds of every call!.... We have no money for one!

Did you try dialing to see what was the last number that called you? If not -- and referral was done through your GP call and ask them to get you the number.

I need some new glasses..... We have no money for them!

I thought you just got some not too long ago -- again, once you have had a few paychecks you'll have more funds.

He's just had another go at me now! He just won't leave me alone to calm down. Having another and another go. Called him hurtful!

I do not know what to say -- I know from things you have written in the past that he does love you. He is probably stressed... you're stressed... it is just not a good combination. He probably also feels bad that you need to work at this time -- and can't be home with lil' Dude the way you and he both would like. (Although, it is probably good for Matthew to get out and be with other kids now that Emz is out of the house for shcool.)

chin up hun my birthday was thursday and i got one card from MIL that was it..... and i never even got anything as an early birthday pressie! birthdays suck! x

Happy Belated Birthday! You should that tell your OH that you are glad you married him because his mother seems to be the only one cared it was your birthday!

Sally - thought this was diary! So sorry for kicking off in yours!

I am sure that Sal won't mind. She cares about you.

 

[kimmi1982]

Thinking of you Sally! We are all here when you need us x x

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Sal,

Just saw on Facebook about your nan passing. I am so sorry for you and family. Hugs. I am glad that she did not suffer long and that you were able to be there and supportive of her (and your family) at this time.

 

[great things]

Sally. What can I say! At least the family can pull together instead of apart. Thinking of you.

 

[*Shanny*]

Big hugs Sal x

 

[trisha]

So sorry Sal, thinking of you

 

[Lily]

More {{{hugs}}}

Thinking of you x x x

 

[Surfhunny]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts, it's been a very tough few days but in all honesty it's like a weight has been lifted. My grab hasn't been ill for long which is a blessing and she died peacefully with her family around her.

I'm having a couple of days off work to pull myself together. Today I'm trying to get my diet back on track. I've realised exactly why I have a problem with food, my family has done nothing but eat for the past few days, it's our coping mechanism, I didn't realise it extended to the rest of them I thought it was just me.

Anyway it's senseless to keep on eating like we have, so I'm getting back to SS today. I'll take time off for the funeral but I'm pretty sure my gran would hate it if I let things get completely out of control.

I'm scared to see what the scales say, but I need to go on to assess what needs to be done. I have to look ahead to the future, to my birthday, to summer and to Florida. But I'm admitting now, it won't be easy and I'm going to need a lot of help!

 

[Surfhunny]

I have put on 7lbs. It's not as bad as I expected but it's still unnecessary it has to go!!

 

[cornishkez]

We're all here for you sal xxx

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Sal,

I am sure a lot of that 7 is water and glycogen, so it will go fast. Big hugs on the loss of your nan.

 

[lyndzi76]

Dont really know what to say but im so sorry. I'm glad shes at peace now.

7lb will be off this week, your strong and will do it. x x