Surfhunny's Countdown to Florida

[great things]

I've just watched the finale episode of Biggest Loser UK and got a real surprise, the majority of people who went on were not as big as the people in the US version, but they didn't lose as much weight either. I have to wonder why that is?? It seems that the Americans WANT it more and are more prepared to put the hard work in compared to the Brits who whined about it and didn't really keep it up once they were eliminated.

The Americans seem to have the determination to carry on at home to be as thin as they can be for the finale, whereas the Brits seemed to be like "Pleh I've been eliminated end of journey the weightloss journey for me!!!" God they had the best possible start, I know it's hard but if you weren't prepared to carry it on why bother in the first place?? It's been a long, long journey for me, 12 years to be exact!! But I started CD and lost 72lbs which is quite comparable to what the Americans were losing. Since I started CD I've never given up the fight, I've had lapses and set backs but I've never just given up completely, and I never will!!! I've made the promise to myself that no matter what I WILL NOT EVER be that big again EVER!!!!

I'm sure without CD I'd still be 17st 8lbs if not bigger, but CD has given me the best possible start and I intend to keep plugging away at it forever either on CD or SW or healthy eating, I'm not going to throw it all away, and I really can't understand why the Brits on Biggest Loser put all that effort in while they were on the programme and then gave up.... It's tough but for god sake always believe you can do it.... I think that's where the Americans and Brits differ, as a nation we tend to have a bit of a defeatist attitude but the Americans are more positive in their aproach. That might just be how I see things, but I really do think that if you think positive, positive things happen!!!

Phew that's enough of the deep thinking for tonight!!

americans are vastly bigger as a nation than we are. their food portions are rediculous no wonder they're overweight.

i think it is true that we are easy to give up... nanny nation and all. i've not seen the last one of this season yet... still got 4 members left. also i think the 2 trainers are amazing.

been watching an old episode and it was a parent and child or husband and wife set up. i watched 2 out of 3 last night and i think the 3rd will be giving us the winner.

 

[great things]

so i was slightly out with my guess.... you're doing so well though. it's flippen hard to keep it off.

 

[Surfhunny]

Eeeeek I've just done something quite scary!!!! I've emailed a hypnotherapist, my mum suggested it. She had really bad post natal depression and hypnotherapy helped her through it, she thought it might help me get over my emotional eating!!! We shall see, I'm open to anything because I really don't want to put all my weight back on when I finish CD.

I think that's partly why I've been messing about for so long. I'm scared that CD is coming to an end and I'll have to go it alone. I'm scared to pile the lbs back on and I'm not sure I quite have the tools to go it alone, so maybe hypnotherapy really will help. I'm just waiting for the lady to get back to me about whether she thinks she'll be able to help!!! Watch this space.....

 

[cornishkez]

Fantastic, I have thought about going to a hypnotherapist, would be really interested to see how you get on. x

 

[Surfhunny]

Hmmm I'm still waiting to hear back from the hynotherapist, I'm going to give her until the end of the week and if I still don't hear from her I'm going to try someone else, because the website states that they aim to reply within 24 hours, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt because of the weekend.

I'm feeling really scared at the moment, terrified in fact. I'm terrified out eating properly again because I dont want to put on weight. I always said that the moment food got scarey was the moment I had to stop. Food is scarey!!! I know that I can have a day off here and there, and not have too much difficulty losing weight, so in that sense food isn't scarey. BUT in general, real everyday food terrifies me. Even healthy food. I don't know how to approach it now, I never thought it would get to this point....

Its because I know that I could go back to eating and I would end up going on to gain the weight back I really don't feel equipped to go it on my own away from CD. CD has become a security blanket, I can use it to counteract when I've been bad, but how realist is that in the long term?? I can't keep doing that, I can't keep going in that manner? Apart from anything I can't afford it.

What I want is to feel happy with how I am, and I'm almost there on that one, and I want to feel secure in the knowledge that I can keep the weight off.

I have no idea how to eat anymore. That sounds stupid but I really don't have a clue. Since starting CD I've come to see carbs as the enemy....this worries me because the way I want to maintain is by doing SW Green days...will I still be able to do that? I lost weight doing that before I started CD, I lost 2st in fact... I think maybe I need to experiment, be brave and see if it still works!!

And this is where the fear sets in again!!! I'm scared it won't work...then what do I do??? I have no idea how I'm going to maintain my loss if I can't do SW Green Days, exercise will not be enough on its own. I can't eat enough protein type foods to keep me full and stop me overeating...I struggled in the past with Atkins and SW Red days.

I'm scared to make the final push to get the last stone off me, because I'm scared to fail....I'm scared that once I get back to target I'm going to blow it and put weight back on again like last time...it happens so easily and so quickly. I don't tolerate failure, I've never failed anything EVER in my life. And I hate feeling like I'm failing at this.....


Geez I've gone on a bit tonight, is anyone else feeling scared about how to keep the weight off? I can't bear the thought of having to go through this all again. The past 2 years have been a huge struggle for me, I know keeping the weight off is not going to be easy but I can't do this again.... I feel emotionally drained by it all!!


On another topic altogether - I think I might be over doing it with my arm exercises, my arms are getting bigger!!! By half an inch??? I'm losing weight and getting bigger that is totally disheartening!! Booo!!!

 

[Surfhunny]

Oh my god thats spooky - Amanda on Biggest Loser has just said pretty much what I've been feeling about failing.... Jillians answer - "You have to redefine your view of failure, it's not failure it's a learning process....you've got to make a few mistakes in order to learn." Thanks Jillian!!! I'm still scared to fail though!!

 

[*Shanny*]

Morning Sal what a long thread huh, well i i totally understand being at goal weight now:cry::cry::cry: it's a massive struggle i tell ya.
Im thinking this aint the best supporting message to write to you. But it's the truth, If im not busy/active im thinking what weight i am, will i fit into my jeans tomorrow, random thoughts like that no joke!! i have totally decided i will not touch eat carbs. As i believe that is what as caused my small gain. I exercise 3 times a week body combat, spin and attack love it.

Oh well it's a learning curb?? im thankfully im not my largest weight anymore still as i was really un happy, but being slim is so hard. But my weight will be stable one day and so will your's. Try not to worry to much x
shanny x (((Big huggies)) x

 

[great things]

Oh my god thats spooky - Amanda on Biggest Loser has just said pretty much what I've been feeling about failing.... Jillians answer - "You have to redefine your view of failure, it's not failure it's a learning process....you've got to make a few mistakes in order to learn." Thanks Jillian!!! I'm still scared to fail though!!

i was just going to say that. i feel like i'm loosing my battle but i'm still battling. i find that i put on weight really easily. i have PCOS and the slightest gain is significant in the balance of my hormones.

my doc has taken me off metformin for good, i haven't used it since before emily. i lost so much last time and it was easy and i kept it under control then i got pregnant and my hormones were everywhere and i put on 5 stone in weight. then after matthew i started depo injections and have struggled to get to my final goal despite the exercise and food diary focus. i think hormones are my problem. i'm trying to get hubby to phone and organise his vasectomy but he's very slow going. the letter is a month old now. i don't want to have any more injections of hormone and the next one is due in october. every 10 weeks now instead of 12 cause i keep bleeding early.

i just want to go lower. so loose more but i'm failing. i feel like i'm learning nothing too. how is this happening. am i really too greedy and don't move enough?

 

[Surfhunny]

I wouldn't say either hun, you move plenty and your food diaries seem fine! I read that once you've been big your body fights to get back to that state and it takes a long time and a lot of struggle toget it to accept that the new weight is where it's meant to be. In some people it happens quickly and in others it can take years.

For me I'm never going to be able to give up, I'm always going to have to keep a very close eye on what I'm eating. I'm always going to battle with my weight, but for me that battle is one I choose over the battle of having to lose 5st or more all over again!!! I'm just scared that no matter how hard I try it won't be enough!

 

[Fat-Boy-Slimmin]

I'm just scared that no matter how hard I try it won't be enough!

Of course it will be enough. Your hard work and effort is paying off. Look at how far you have come and how much you have learnt. If it wasn't enough, you wouldn't have got this far. Try not to think about how you will have to battle for the years to come, just concentrate on the day ahead when you wake up each morning, after you have successfully got through the day before. :hug99:

 

[Surfhunny]

Thank you, your words make sense, up until fairly recently I've been okay with the idea of maintaining, but I've started to panic for some reason. I have trouble with taking it one day at a time I'm always looking too far ahead, my mum said that to me this evening in fact. She also reminded me that I've managed to keep the majority of the weight off for almost 2 years now, with only a bit of a gain after my relationship ended... I'm too hard on myself, I know. It helps when people put things into perspective for me, so thanks again!!

 

[Fat-Boy-Slimmin]

It's my pleasure. I know how you are feeling because I've been a lot like that myself. I'm usually way to hard on myself and spend too much time worrying about what may be ahead, rather than focusing on what is going on right now.

 

[great things]

you always make such sense to me surf. just need my cd security blanket. don't feel like i'm coping very well off it. thinking of doing celebrity slim after the great north run on the 19th sept. really want to loose another stone.

 

[Surfhunny]

I've been AWOL the past few days because two of my close friends have left work, we've been friends for ten years and so it's been quite an emotional few days for us all. I feel a bit like I've been left behind on a sinking ship, but that's the way things go I guess.

Anyway needless to say the diet has been out of the window but I'm going to try and have a week back on itbefore I go away at the weekend. Fingers crossed!!

 

[Fat-Boy-Slimmin]

Sorry to hear that you've had a very difficult few days. I hope you feel at least a little bit better now. :hug99:

 

[Surfhunny]

Thanks, I'm off work for 2 weeks now so CD will be much easier this week, need to try and undo some of the damage before I go away on Saturday. Then when I come back it's the big countdown to Vegas, CD for a few weeks then move onto SW to get back into good eating habits again ready for the big trip! 95 days!!!

 

[Fat-Boy-Slimmin]

Do you have any room in your suitcase for me? I should be close to target by then, so I'll be a bit smaller!!

 

[Surfhunny]

Hmmm I've just had a bit of a moment.... I look at thin people and see their collar bones, then look in the mirror and see that mine are in hiding, I put it down to being fat, my collar bones are tucked away under a blanket of blubber, but tonight has thrown that little theory out!! Because on the Biggest Loser one of the contestants Shay is just under 400lbs, over twice my weight, and her collar bones are starting to show!!! Where are mine?? I want to see bones, I know it's a strange thing to be fixated on but hey that's me, I find things to fixate on.... I'm off to look at old old photos to see if I could ever see my collar bones when I was 10st...will report back (ha not that anyone's mad enough to be interested in my collar bones)

 

[farmgirl]

Interesting to know if your bones show on slimmer photos.
I am obsessed with finding my face bones ( and a hip bone or 2 would be good) but I know that everyones body stores fat in different places and loses it at different rates.
That person on Biggest Loser may hold on to fat in places where you would lose from in no time.
It's good to have milestones like bones showing, but be patient and don't let it detract from what you have already lost

 

[Fat-Boy-Slimmin]

Hey, don't let it worry you. We are all different. Some peoples bones show quite easily, other peoples don't, regardless of weight. It's nothing to be concerned about, just one of those things.