The diary of a spod.

[spod]

Morning all.

Not discussing OH today, (unless something good happens). He has read what I wrote and wants to talk (apparently just talk not to dump me as I asked him outright - fed up with all this mamby pambying about). email from friend in China says she thinks he is missing me because he is really pleased I am going back in January (so I am beginning to wonder if this is all a "does she really want to be with me?" thing)
So we shall see what happens.


Not wasting time typing about him today. (I am starting to bore myself) More important stuff....Losing weight.

Along with my knee high boots I also got some pyjamas. Feeling ever so optimistic about my skinniness of knee high boots, I got 'Medium' size (from Next - who like I said arent known for their generosity in sizes) and they fit!!! (not loads of room in them, but they fit as well as the large ones did when I bought them last year!)

Food diary for yesterday:

Breakfast: 1 piece of toast, marmite (no spread) milk tea
Lunch: ciabatta with green olives, huge salad (no dressing) and some nice but slightly odd cream cheese with smoked salmon in it.
Dinner: Shepherds pie and peas and broccoli.
Snacks: 1 apple, 2 clemintines, v. small piece of ginger cake.
Exercise: (not good) didnt do any except for walking round Boarders looking at books.
Was far to cold to do anything on rowing machine etc cos I would have had to have a shower after and there is no heating.... (my parents light a fire in the front room and therefore we apparently dont need heating on as well in the rest of the house............)


Food diary today:

Breakfast: coco pops and semi skimmed milk (for the last morning - cos it is soooo bad)
Lunch: no point soup (to make up for the
lack of exercise & v. small piece of cake yesterday)
snack: an apple


Off to make my soup. No bread today either - got roast for tea tonight and whilst my parents are good with portion sizes, the mash was made with butter and full cream milk cos it tastes nicer. I am not criticising, cos it is their home and I am a visitor, but I am putting it on here so I remember that I need to be extra careful.....

Will be back later no doubt. Hope you are all having a fab sunday.

xx

 

[Janey2004]

Nice One Megan!!!! Getting greener with envy about those boots every second here I'm at work today....BUGGER!!!!! But hey ho off for 10 whole days after that so all is good. In brain dead mode, really tired. Have a fabulous Sunday and that mash potato sounds lush!!!!

 

[kopcat]

Megan - what have you done with the "old" you???? Have you locked her in the cupboard under the stairs or something?

Your strength jumps out of every post you write!?!! I don't know you, so seems odd to use the word "proud", but that's the feeling I get reading your posts! Whichever way all of this goes, I get the sense you have the strength to use it to your advantage and come out of it all stronger and happier.... Never mind me, you should be sooooo proud of yourself!!!!

 

[abz]

hey there honey. you sound like you are picking yourself up a bit mega mega congrats on the boots and your food diary sound lovely jubbly. how are you doing today?

abz xx

 

[spod]

Ok. I admit it. I was bad. :sigh: Not only did I have 2 roast potatoes and 2 (small-ish) pieces of roast parsnip, I also had 1 piece of cake and a mince pie.

I did burn off 100 calories via exercise, (and then I hurt my knee so had to stop) but I dont think that out weighs the badness....

Back on the dieting thing today.

Didnt speak to OH yesterday, so we are going to today at 10am my time. Spoke via text last night, and he said "maybe, just maybe we can sort this mess out..."
(so maybe the email I sent did help...???) BUT then I managed to annoy him - told him what our friends had emailed me (about him missing me etc) and he said that shows I need to grow up and not listen to other people but to talk to him. So I think I might have b*ggered things up more. Shouldnt have said anything but I wanted to know.

Hate having to wait, I am so impatient and I do need to grow up, to be fair - I take as little responsibility as I can cos always someone else has sorted stuff out for me either parents or him. But I tootle through life quite happily sticking my head in the sand until a crisis occurs, then I deal with it...eventually. He would rather avoid the crisis...

Oh well. Will see what happens with this conversation in 2 hours and 20 minutes time. Not really looking forward to talking to him, but at least I will know more where I stand...Hope he isnt annoyed with me still, although he has had a whole day at work, so I am sure there is more to be annoyed at than just me by now...

Will reply properly to messages later. I have to go. I am going to freeze if I stay at the computer any longer. I am wrapped in a huge blanket as it is!!!

xx

 

[abz]

at least it shows him that you want to know how he is doing!! i think it just shows that you care that you want to know what's going on.

good luck honey. only two hours to go!!

abz xx

 

[spod]

oh b*llocks. nearly conversation time... can I send positive vibes to myself???

xx

 

[Janey2004]

Hope the talk goes well Megan. xxxxx

 

[Janey2004]

:vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:Take all of mine hen xxxxxx Good luck xxxxxx

 

[abz]

hope it's all going well honey!!

abz xx

 

[Janey2004]

Thinking of you hen, hope all is well xxxxxxxx

 

[BBlilsis]

Hi Spod, I hope your convo with hubby went ok, its probably too late for me to say this now, but honey you still seem to be bearing ALL the responsibility of this seperation, as if YOU must be the one to bend over backwards and sidewards to fix it, regardless of the fact I don't know exactly through a forum medium what is happening, I can say that it takes the TWO people to compromise and adapt to make things work :vibes:

 

[spod]

Well, to say I am getting cross is an understatement. Its all one sided and its all my fault, so its me who needs to change. Cant live up to the expectations. he said somethings that were v. hurtful, but he still wants time to think things through. I think he has made his mind up already.

Have spent the p.m. sorting out financial issues, house things (hasnt been sold) and court orders. My parents have bailed me out big time.

Not willing to write anything else on here, so if anyone wants to send me a pm thing, I am happy to keep in contact that way, but this diary will only be about food and naffness not anything personal like OH.

Feisty is back with avengence.

Operation "Sort Spod's Life Out" is well and truely underway, with a little help from fate who has saved my bacon a couple of times today.

Hope you all have had a calmer / happier Monday than me!

xx

 

[spod]

Sorry! How rude! Should have said thanks for the positive vibes!!!

xx

 

[Janey2004]

You're never rude Megan Keep the feistyness up hen. Always gets me through. Life needs a kick up the arse every now and then, keeping feisty always beats it. You bloody go girl, I damned proud of you xxx

 

[kopcat]

No rudeness there whatsoever! Have pm'd you.

Keep up that feistiness - THAT'S what'll pull you through this!!

xx

 

[BBlilsis]

No rudeness there whatsoever! Have pm'd you.

Keep up that feistiness - THAT'S what'll pull you through this!!

xx

Same from me :gen126:

 

[spod]

Thank you!! (again!!!)

Am writing in blue today - fancied a change!

Hope you are all well and having a happy Tuesday so far.

Weight this morning: 77.9kg!!! Woohoo!

I know its only just scraped in at 77, but owt is better than nowt. Going to have to be careful as I am going to visit my friends at my old school tomorrow (kids dont know yet!) and we are going out for dinner as well, so shall be a bit wary of what I eat, cos I am still trying to get to my 76kg Christmas target.

Food diary for yesterday. Was ok....but not great. Couldnt be bothered making soup.

Breakfast: yakult and apple
Lunch: 2 egg omlette with cheese and ham & 2 potato croquettes
Dinner: homemade pizza and a huge salad.
Snacks: none
Drinks: not nearly enough but have discovered some nice apple juice.

So, today I am needing to get back in to the "I can be bothered to make healthy food".
Today I shall be eating:

Breakfast: 1 apple, 1 piece of toast and marmite (no spread)
milk tea to drink & a yakult
Lunch: homemade minced beef pasty & low cal baked beans
Dinner: no point homemade vegetable soup.
So thats ok as food goes. No snacking unless on fruit.
Need to drink more water as feel headachy today and think its cos I am dehydrated (a slightly stressed...)

Off for my toast and marmite. Yum!

xx

 

[kopcat]

Eugh marmite .....don't think I can be your friend anymore! lol

Well done for getting your head back in gear healthy eating wise.... Tomorrow should be fun primary or secondary school??

 

[Janey2004]

Cannea beat a bit of Marmite Cate. Reading that has made me hungry!!! Oh I have those cant be bothered days all the time. Do miss slinging a pizza in the oven!! Be fun going back to your old school. Have a lovely day Megan. I keep forgetting your back in our time zone just now.