The end of the line, or the beginning of a new life?

[White Tulip]

deep breath.....

right........let's draw a line under it all and move forward.

I have lost 2 pounds this week taking me to 17 stone 6. I have lost 88 pounds so far.

I have had 2 weeks of 'normal' eating on my holiday and then 2 weeks of lots of stress whilst trying to get back into the strait jacket of CD. I have still lost weight. I refuse to be beaten.

As you know I am on the lookout for a winter coat. I found a lovely Ann Harvey one on ebay that I thought would be lovely for the Spring. Ann Harvey are generous on their sizes which is why I thought it would be good for Spring. It arrived yesterday and I absolutely love it. It's a bit darker than the photo which suits me as I'm not usually one to choose lighter colours. It is a bit tight across the back and the top of the arms and doesn't meet . However, it is a lovely fitted cut and I can actually pop it over a camisole and it looks ok.

It is a size 16.........and I was over the moon at how close it is to fitting as I think it is about 2 stone away from being 'comfortable' to wear so mikght fit me earlier than March/April time. It cost £16 so fairly inexpensive for what was probably a £100+ coat originally.

Ann Harvey 3/4 length lined smart coat size 16/18/20 on eBay (end time 05-Nov-10 11:51:24 GMT)


You are right. I am human. I've always been a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to stuff like this. If I don't feel I will 'pass' first time I run away at the first sniff of a struggle.

I am not saying I don't have a difficult couple of weeks ahead food wise...but I refuse to run away

 

[Awaken Me]

Yay..I’m so happy that you lost weight this week. I know it has been tough for you recently but you have lost 88 pounds which is a huge amount of weight and you should be so proud of yourself and what you have achieved 100 pounds is not that far away now…

You’re not a failure in any way because you continue to dust yourself off and keep going. I love your fighting spirit and it has been a pleasure to be part of your weight loss journey and have you along for the ride for mine.

The coat it is lush and congratulations on getting into a size 16, I’m glad that made your day – there’ll be many more of those moments to come.

 

[great things]

sometimes we need to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off. i've put on some weight over the past 3 months since stopping cd, not a massive amount but enough to see my collar bones disappearing and to feel my gym gear getting a little tight plus the added weight is making running harder.

i'm back on cd as of tuesday. i'm dusting myself off and regaining my inspiration.

personally i think that if i had not been exercising over the past 3 months the gain would have been loads more.

 

[minusfour]

Congratulations! Simply, I take my hat off to you. No, you won't be beaten. What a woman!

 

[miss-r]

Hi WT, just wanted to say, I really admire your determination and very well done so far, 88 pounds is amazing!!
Sometimes we are our own worst critic, but you have proven that you can do it and you should feel very proud of yourself of what you have done so far. Keep going!!! xxxxx

 

[White Tulip]

I have been horribly cold over the last few days. I think it's ketosis related but not sure as I think i've probably been in and out of ketosis with the nibbling. The feeling has been like a 'feverish' kind of coldness when you are chilled to the bone. It's not good and it's only autumn!

Also been a bit.........cough........well........needed a few laxatives and a bit of a painful day but hopefully all sorted now........the joys of CD.......

Had another dream last night about my hair loss in that I could see the top of my head and the hair was thin and patchy. In reality it isn't that, but it is obviously playing on my mind.

I seem to be really 'settling' into a size 22 in most kinds of clothes. I have 2 pairs of trousers in a 22 (which ok are stretchy), some cropped linen trousers, skirts and a few tops. It's a pain different manufacturers have such differing sizes, I ordered a fitted blouse in a 24 from NEXT and whilst it fits it gapes at the front. I guess as a similar one in a 28 wouldn't go anywhere near me in June and was discarded weeks ago for being too big, that's something I can live with!

I'm slowly getting back on track - slowly. Today has been a couple of vending machine hot chocolates and I'm going to have chick peas and spinach in my soup later (allowed on 810 so I'm allowing myself them as part of my slide back down to SS) and yesterday was chick peas/spinach, 1 chocolate and a couple of mouthfuls of roast chicken.

My ex takes his tenancy at the weekend and my role of move 'manager' will be over. I will have some private time in my old house I think after it has been cleared. It will be empty for 3 days before completion and I think I need to put some closure on the place and the situation. I will be going over to where he will be living on Saturdays or Sundays to see my 'boy' but I need to work through the sadness of 'my' house being sold and the anger that he didn't fight to get another job to keep the house.

When that has all settled I will be fine and already there are signs that I am getting 'better' in my head with what I am eating on top of CD.

 

[great things]

all very sad WT (((hugs)))

 

[lass321]

I'm sorry you are having such a crumby time - but I am glad that you seem to be finding your old determination. I know it is very sad to say goodbye to a loved home, but hopefully this will give you some closure and you will be able to move on from this. Take care xxx.

 

[White Tulip]

oh god............I've added photos to my album........

They are a bit in the wrong order but they are week 1 and where I currently am plus one of me in the coat I bought.

The top is the size 16 I inadvertently ordered from evans and so is too tight but I'm using that as my photo top each week so I can see it fitting better bit by bit.

I've popped of them on this post also....I'm only going to leave them up for a day or so. I'm paranoid someone I know will see them and read all about me!!

Runs away..........

 

[Less Rotund One]

All I can say is WOW! what a difference - and you look rightly chugged with yourself. Massive well done. What great motivation to keep at it. Xx

Of course I meant chuffed - bloomin iPhone! X

 

[minusfour]

Thank you so much for posting the photos, the difference is absolutely amazing! And you look so much happier! You have great hair! (Mine is as straight as a line, I have tried all sorts of ways to try to give it a bit of waviness over the years!)

You sound like you are getting right back in the groove, dusting yourself off, good effort, ah, knew you could and would do it!
What will you do at your old house when you spend time there?
I'm glad the day will soon be over, do you think you'll have any further "mangerial" roles in your ex's life?
Hope you have a good one!

 

[HelenG]

:wavey: What a transformation

Congratulations on the loss so far and all the best for your continued journey

 

[rumbly-tums]

wow - you are looking spectacular........love that ann harvey coat. You should be so proud of yourself, you are so inspiring, I mean it x

 

[lass321]

Wow! If that doesn't make you feel proud I don't know what will. Well done you!

 

[great things]

oh god............I've added photos to my album........

They are a bit in the wrong order but they are week 1 and where I currently am plus one of me in the coat I bought.

The top is the size 16 I inadvertently ordered from evans and so is too tight but I'm using that as my photo top each week so I can see it fitting better bit by bit.

I've popped of them on this post also....I'm only going to leave them up for a day or so. I'm paranoid someone I know will see them and read all about me!!

Runs away..........

You look amazing and so much younger now! Well done and you are just half way! Wow!!!!!!!!

 

[Awaken Me]

Wow indeed!!! You look a-ma-zing and the change in you is dramatic - everybody must be able to see the difference. You look years younger, so much happier and brighter. That coat is lovely and really suits you. Thank you for sharing your pictures. It is so nice to see you at last and put a (beautiful) face to 'White Tulip'.

Be proud of what you have achieved. You have come such a long way and you've made my day xx

 

[minusfour]

You really do look incredible, I'm glad you haven't taken the photos off yet, how about a week, so we get to look at them a few times? (I was telling a girlfriend about my friends photos as we walked today, she asked "What is her name?" and of course I answered White Tulip!)

 

[minusfour]

How are you getting on, sweet girl?

 

[Awaken Me]

Missing your posts - hope your ok xx

 

[minusfour]

I'm missing you too!