The First Diary of Trudy C age 40 something!
- Thread starter trudyc
- Start date
trudyc
Gold Member
Well the downfall happened yesterday - totally rubbish day with the horses and was just in a bad mood in general!!! Not an excuse to binge but boy I did and in style too!!!! Bread, chips, pizza, choc, ice cream, cookies, crisps and dip!!!! WHYYYYYYY!!!! Some of it tasted divine but not enough to balance out how rubbish I felt in myself this morning! Did I get on here for inspiration to stop the binge?- no - did I ring a friend to stop me? - no - I WANTED to do it and that was that despite knowing how bad I would feel after!!!! Ironically after stuffing my face I did come on here and read a lovely e-mail from Joodlebob which put me to shame!! But it's done now...... Sadly but honestly I don't feel resolved not to do it again which is c**p! Even when I know doing this will return me to 'huge Trudy' before I know it!!!! WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD!!!!! For now steak is planned for lunch and meatballs for dinner and gonna make some tofu too to enjoy! Wish me luck gals!
Joodle
Silver Member
Oh Trudster. I don't need to say it - you can see from my own posts, we are battling the same demons. It must be something we can crack though, for gawd's sake, we've lost the weight, we can keep it off.
I suspect half the battle is accepting that this is not something we have 'fixed' by reaching target. I'm even wondering if we treat ourselves as alcoholics, not allowing themselves another drop. Obviously, we can't avoid food for the rest of our lives (!) but maybe it's a vigilance thing. I dunno. I'm going to be really, really trying to make sure I only eat when I'm hungry, I enjoy every mouthful and I stop when I'm full. I'm hoping it's a habit thing - for example, if I can manage it for a whole month, I'll have created new thought pathways and it will become easier.
You wanna try it with me?
Big, big hug. The main thing is that you're back here. We'll pull each other along, you'll see.
Jx
I suspect half the battle is accepting that this is not something we have 'fixed' by reaching target. I'm even wondering if we treat ourselves as alcoholics, not allowing themselves another drop. Obviously, we can't avoid food for the rest of our lives (!) but maybe it's a vigilance thing. I dunno. I'm going to be really, really trying to make sure I only eat when I'm hungry, I enjoy every mouthful and I stop when I'm full. I'm hoping it's a habit thing - for example, if I can manage it for a whole month, I'll have created new thought pathways and it will become easier.
You wanna try it with me?
Big, big hug. The main thing is that you're back here. We'll pull each other along, you'll see.
Jx
Paulinegin
Gold Member
trudyc
Gold Member
So managed to actually stick to the plan today and enjoyed everything I ate...... Did consider the 'demon' food today but in an objective way and wasn't tempted at all!!! Such a blimmin mind game.... Horses were good today and the day flowed better which helped.... Day off tomorrow and plan to get Ben to school, head to town for a bit of retail therapy and then come home and chillax before picking him up from school and going swimming which is what he would like to do for Ben and Mummy day!
After the last 48 hrs I have decided to just do conso from now on and making a promise to myself to stick to it TO THE LETTER!!!! I know I can do this.....
Today final PP day before conso......
B - 2 muffins
L - steak with Dukan BBQ sauce
D - meatballs made with lean bacon/mustard/smoked paprika with onion sauce/ 1 muffin/ Dukan custard
So we will see how I go!!!! Hopefully on and up gals!!!! Sorry to be soooo flippin disastrous this last couple of weeks!!! Duh!
After the last 48 hrs I have decided to just do conso from now on and making a promise to myself to stick to it TO THE LETTER!!!! I know I can do this.....
Today final PP day before conso......
B - 2 muffins
L - steak with Dukan BBQ sauce
D - meatballs made with lean bacon/mustard/smoked paprika with onion sauce/ 1 muffin/ Dukan custard
So we will see how I go!!!! Hopefully on and up gals!!!! Sorry to be soooo flippin disastrous this last couple of weeks!!! Duh!
scooter
Gold Member
Big hugs trudy xx you can get back on track gal - just think how far you've come! Don't let those food demons win i know i have the same demons just under the surface waiting to burst out that's why i darent have a gala meal - and I've made a decision never to eat chocolate AGAIN! I've gone a year without it and its lost its grip on me but i know what will happen if i taste it again! fill the fridge with dukan friendly food and fill your boots with it xx thinking of you and sending you loads of dukan motivation
sarafvrm
Gold Member
Trudy, do you have the book? If so, read the final chapter again (I think it's the one on exercise). I read it last night and it talks about pleasure and how we're programmed to seek it and if we are bored/frustrated/annoyed we will find it in the one sure-fire way there is, food treats (sort-of comfort eating). Dukan puts it far better than I have but if you read it carefully it makes a lot of sense. Of course you know what you're doing when you binge, and you're not about to do anything that might stop you - the instinct is as strong as self-preservation itself.
The solution is harder than losing the weight, you have to take a long, hard look at your life. It sounds like, the other day at any rate, the problem was the evening. Is it hard for you to get out or do anything fun in the evenings, as a single mum? I'm making wild assumptions here so please forgive me if I'm way wide of the mark. Part of Dr Dukan's solution is exercise - is this something you could get into now Ben's at school? It sounds like you already have a very active life with the horses, mind...
Sorry again, Trudy, if I'm talking out of turn but what I read last night made a lot of sense to me and it does seem to go some way towards explaining what is otherwise quite bizarre behaviour (that I'm as capable of as the next person) - stuffing ourselves with all the unhealthy things we can think off, out of the blue, after having been so in control for so long. Please have a read and let me know what you think. xx
The solution is harder than losing the weight, you have to take a long, hard look at your life. It sounds like, the other day at any rate, the problem was the evening. Is it hard for you to get out or do anything fun in the evenings, as a single mum? I'm making wild assumptions here so please forgive me if I'm way wide of the mark. Part of Dr Dukan's solution is exercise - is this something you could get into now Ben's at school? It sounds like you already have a very active life with the horses, mind...
Sorry again, Trudy, if I'm talking out of turn but what I read last night made a lot of sense to me and it does seem to go some way towards explaining what is otherwise quite bizarre behaviour (that I'm as capable of as the next person) - stuffing ourselves with all the unhealthy things we can think off, out of the blue, after having been so in control for so long. Please have a read and let me know what you think. xx
trudyc
Gold Member
Sara, I do have the book and will read that chapter and get back to you - ironically was thinking about starting the running thing again as a friend keeps asking me to run with him though not sure I can manage 10k at a time - but I do know that I can build up the distance quite quickly as you so rightly say I have a fairly active job already.......
Feel better having made the decision to do conso again. Really enjoyed what I have eaten so far today and not tempted to binge - even bought Ben a jam doughnut for Ben and Mummy day treat and not phased at all!!!! Filled the fridge with every type of meat and veg and just baked a batch of strawberry and almond muffins! They smell delicious - looking forward to having some later.
Retail therapy was fab today, bought lovely lovely clothes, AND a beautiful full length dress in SIZE10 for a dinner dance in five weeks.... Would be nice to lose a couple of pounds before then - certainly can't put any on as it is 'fitted'!!! Also bought a lovely pair of pj's but they only had size S which sadly they are just a big snug!!! Need to take them back when I get a mo! Also bought a nice pair of black trousers and a fitted cardigan from Primark!!!! Happy.com!!! Just catching up on MM and chillaxing as planned before picking Ben up for swimming!!!!
Feel better having made the decision to do conso again. Really enjoyed what I have eaten so far today and not tempted to binge - even bought Ben a jam doughnut for Ben and Mummy day treat and not phased at all!!!! Filled the fridge with every type of meat and veg and just baked a batch of strawberry and almond muffins! They smell delicious - looking forward to having some later.
Retail therapy was fab today, bought lovely lovely clothes, AND a beautiful full length dress in SIZE10 for a dinner dance in five weeks.... Would be nice to lose a couple of pounds before then - certainly can't put any on as it is 'fitted'!!! Also bought a lovely pair of pj's but they only had size S which sadly they are just a big snug!!! Need to take them back when I get a mo! Also bought a nice pair of black trousers and a fitted cardigan from Primark!!!! Happy.com!!! Just catching up on MM and chillaxing as planned before picking Ben up for swimming!!!!
trudyc
Gold Member
So managed to stick to conso today - almost to the letter - didn't have any fruit but everything else as prescribed by the good doc! Had a lovely swim with Ben and he ate like a horse after!!!
So:-
Late B - scrambled egg, lean bacon, mushroom, slice wholemeal toast
L - 3 small meatballs/ 2 muffins
S - slice wholemeal toast
D - chicken/ cauliflower/broccoli/ cheese sauce made with 40gms parmesan/cornflour/skimmed milk/ 2 muffins/ cream cheese icing
Must remember that there is absolutely no deprivation on conso if you plan it - lovely day of food - loved it!!!! Also made enough dinner so that there is enough for tomorrow - YUMMMMMMM!
So:-
Late B - scrambled egg, lean bacon, mushroom, slice wholemeal toast
L - 3 small meatballs/ 2 muffins
S - slice wholemeal toast
D - chicken/ cauliflower/broccoli/ cheese sauce made with 40gms parmesan/cornflour/skimmed milk/ 2 muffins/ cream cheese icing
Must remember that there is absolutely no deprivation on conso if you plan it - lovely day of food - loved it!!!! Also made enough dinner so that there is enough for tomorrow - YUMMMMMMM!
trudyc
Gold Member
Awww Ellie - right back at you - always message me when your feeling a binge!!!! Sara, so right, feeling much better - gonna settle down and read that chapter tonight in the book - ran out of time yesterday!!!
So far another great Conso day - appreciating it a wee bit more this time......
B - 2 muffins
L - xtra lean ham/ turkey/ chicken/ cauliflower and broccoli with cheese sauce/ apple
S - 2 slices of toast
D - chilli with quark and sprinkle of parmesan/ 2 muffins
The cheese sauce idea from last night a real hit and jazzed up the veg no end - chicken was lush too!!!! Nice to be loving my Dukan food again!!!! LONG MAY IT CONTINUE!!!! x
So far another great Conso day - appreciating it a wee bit more this time......
B - 2 muffins
L - xtra lean ham/ turkey/ chicken/ cauliflower and broccoli with cheese sauce/ apple
S - 2 slices of toast
D - chilli with quark and sprinkle of parmesan/ 2 muffins
The cheese sauce idea from last night a real hit and jazzed up the veg no end - chicken was lush too!!!! Nice to be loving my Dukan food again!!!! LONG MAY IT CONTINUE!!!! x
CheeseGirl
Gold Member
Just the sort of post I need to read to get back at it!! Thanks Trudy! Age 40 something! 
trudyc
Gold Member
She is back and hopefully for good!!!!! Started to read the chapter in Dukan as suggested by Sara, stopped half way as I had stopped taking it in!!! BUT I did get some of the general idea and it made a lot of sense!
Feeling so much better about 'me' - just need to keep focused when I feel down or out of control!!! Got up and went for a run this morning - been toying over the idea for a while and even though I only did a tiny one this morning it still was a great start to the day!!!! Will try and make it a regular thing! Gonna do the 2 mile one tomorrow and see how I get on as breezed this morning - even if I have to walk at times it will still be fine!!!
Going out for gala meal tonight with the gals - looking forward to it lots, getting dressed up in dresses which is nice!!! Food so far!
B - 2 muffins
L - ham and cheese toast with mustard and Dukan BBQ sauce/ turkey/prawns
S - 2 muffins
D - gala meal!!!!!
Feeling so much better about 'me' - just need to keep focused when I feel down or out of control!!! Got up and went for a run this morning - been toying over the idea for a while and even though I only did a tiny one this morning it still was a great start to the day!!!! Will try and make it a regular thing! Gonna do the 2 mile one tomorrow and see how I get on as breezed this morning - even if I have to walk at times it will still be fine!!!
Going out for gala meal tonight with the gals - looking forward to it lots, getting dressed up in dresses which is nice!!! Food so far!
B - 2 muffins
L - ham and cheese toast with mustard and Dukan BBQ sauce/ turkey/prawns
S - 2 muffins
D - gala meal!!!!!
