So cross with myself again today. I'm finding it really hard.
I had my work medical yesterday, and the guy was really annoying. He clearly thought a VLCD was awful, and told me so - now I don't mind people saying that once, sharing their opinion with me, but he kept coming back to it again and again, it was really rude. All the other things they measured came back as great, so my fitness was very good, my cholesterol was low, my blood sugar was fine etc, etc... just that he thought my choice of diet was wrong - I made it very clear to him that I understood about different diets, why I had chosen this one and that it was none of his business... to my mind it's a good achievement to have lost 6 stone, I'm really struggling with being this weight now, and having to deal with food at every meal would in my opinion, add to the difficulties I'm having at the moment. I feel really cross with him.... but even more cross with myself that I've let it get to me. He went on and on about how I would just put all the weight back on, and that it was silly etc etc... I think I may complain to Nuffield about him. But anyway, I've then behaved stupidly today, and munched through far too much chocolate that appeared at work today. It was put on the desk next to mine, and stupidly I left it there, and then grazed on it. Finally this afternoon I took action and moved it far away from me.
Argggg, still sabotaging myself. Why am I finding it so difficult. I'm also getting more comments from different friends / family, that the weight I'm at now is good. I should stop now, I've achieved enough. After all, they're overweight, I should just stick with where I've got to. To top it all, friends were saying, and the stupid guy at the hospital, that I shouldn't be looking at BMI as my target, that it doesn't tell the whole story.
I do know that, but I need to set myself a goal, and I haven't found any other way to set a goal. Stupid guy was saying I should just go until my clothes fit me well - I pointed out to him that my clothes have always fit me well, as I buy clothes for my size, and that really wasn't particularly helpful - it may be useful if you've put on a bit of weight at Christmas and have half a stone to lose, but given a healthy BMI was over 10 stone away when I started this, it wasn't a good enough measure for me.
Apparently my body fat is now 39%, which I think puts me on the border between overweight & obese, so maybe I'll work on that. Perhaps the scales you can get would help me here.
Argggg, time to go to bed, get my weigh in over and done with in the morning, and try and get back on track.
I'm going to stay with a really good friend in a week's time. I'm really looking forward to chatting it all through with her, and hopefully finding a way to get my head clear again. I've been looking at my goals again this evening, and trying to focus on what I want and block out all the other voices.
Sorry this is a bit of a low rambly post, feeling a bit overwhelmed tonight.