The Rest of My Fabulous Life Challenge

[Barb]

Thanks KD - good sense as ever. I feel like I am becoming a totally repetitive bore. I've had this conversation with you and myself and RD, to name but a few; yet I don't really change.

I know what i'd like, I have a good idea how to get it. I start off with good intentions and do well for a week or two or even three and then I flounder. I don't get it. Which is clearly the root of the problem.
Perhaps the truth is I am fairly happy as I am and dieting makes me unhappy!

Yes, cal counting, it works but I get so fed up with it. Whine, whine!

I want to feel fitter; I think the xtrainer is showing me how very unfit I am. I think I need to concentrate on something other than weight. Something you have mentioned in the past KD.

If achievement was linked to how much exercise, how much fruit and veg etc.. would I obsess about the scales so much? I don't think I would.

Flip, I am a work, not so much in progress as in, stop, start, win and lose.

If I could have one thing only it would to be able to stop obsessing about my weight. I could give that to myself right now. So why don't I?

 

[KD]

Thanks KD - good sense as ever. I feel like I am becoming a totally repetitive bore. I've had this conversation with you and myself and RD, to name but a few; yet I don't really change.

Takes time doesn't it. We keep trying the same old way and getting the same old results:sigh:

Perhaps the truth is I am fairly happy as I am

Perhaps you feel that you 'should' be unhappy being overweight. Perhaps you feel that you should be feeling negative about yourself. Maybe this is half the problem. You don't want it enough. Half of you is saying that you should want to, because our culture revolves around us believing that we can't possibly enjoy life or value ourselves unless we are slim.

and dieting makes me unhappy!

I wonder if one can ever be really happy dieting. I do think that you can have a good attitude to it though which makes it very bearable.

To be successful at it, you have to really want it. You have to be commited to it. If you are committed nothing throws you off track. If you aren't committed then it will only last until something better comes along.

Having said that, commitment is something that needs working on. Nothing is easy eh

Not only do we have to work at losing the weight (if that's what we want), but we have to keep reinforcing the commitment side....keep reminding ourselves why we want it, keep practising doing it anyway even when we don't feel like it. Keep focusing....no matter what. Even when the novelty is wearing thin.

So barb. I reckon you are happy. I reckon you would like to lose some weight as it will be the icing on the cake so to speak. But I think you pressure yourself too much. You set yourself big weight loss challenges which are hard to follow unless other things are in place.

Then when they don't happen for you, you are discouraged. I really feel that for you, you need to relax into it. Aim for something smaller and enjoy life whilst gradually putting food in it's correct department

 

[sarahloveswelshcobs]

Good post KD.

RussianDoll - I'm not far in front of you. ut you have done it before - so you CAN do it again. It's making and keeping the life changes once you gt there. It's not letting gloom and doom get to us or saying sod it and chucking it away. It's the realisation... you've gone off track and want to get back on the band wagon.

Barb - it's so easy to become obsessive ! I'm more than aware of that one.. :-S MAybe if you accept youself as you are now, the diet becomes easier and the icing on the cake is losing the weight as KD says. It's only a bonus.

Be happy

 

[Dom1979]

Takes time doesn't it. We keep trying the same old way and getting the same old results:sigh:

Perhaps you feel that you 'should' be unhappy being overweight. Perhaps you feel that you should be feeling negative about yourself. Maybe this is half the problem. You don't want it enough. Half of you is saying that you should want to, because our culture revolves around us believing that we can't possibly enjoy life or value ourselves unless we are slim.

I wonder if one can ever be really happy dieting. I do think that you can have a good attitude to it though which makes it very bearable.

To be successful at it, you have to really want it. You have to be commited to it. If you are committed nothing throws you off track. If you aren't committed then it will only last until something better comes along.

Having said that, commitment is something that needs working on. Nothing is easy eh

Not only do we have to work at losing the weight (if that's what we want), but we have to keep reinforcing the commitment side....keep reminding ourselves why we want it, keep practising doing it anyway even when we don't feel like it. Keep focusing....no matter what. Even when the novelty is wearing thin.

So barb. I reckon you are happy. I reckon you would like to lose some weight as it will be the icing on the cake so to speak. But I think you pressure yourself too much. You set yourself big weight loss challenges which are hard to follow unless other things are in place.

Then when they don't happen for you, you are discouraged. I really feel that for you, you need to relax into it. Aim for something smaller and enjoy life whilst gradually putting food in it's correct department

Fab post KD - wanted to give you a rep point, but apparently i've given you too many already

 

[Barb]

Takes time doesn't it. We keep trying the same old way and getting the same old results:sigh: Ain't that the truth!

Perhaps you feel that you 'should' be unhappy being overweight. Yes, I do!
Perhaps you feel that you should be feeling negative about yourself. Flip, yes again!Maybe this is half the problem. You don't want it enough. Half of you is saying that you should want to, because our culture revolves around us believing that we can't possibly enjoy life or value ourselves unless we are slim. Um, KD, have you taken up residence in my head?

I wonder if one can ever be really happy dieting. I do think that you can have a good attitude to it though which makes it very bearable.

To be successful at it, you have to really want it. You have to be commited to it. If you are committed nothing throws you off track. If you aren't committed then it will only last until something better comes along. No, I don't want it badly enough. I see that now.

Having said that, commitment is something that needs working on. Nothing is easy eh

Not only do we have to work at losing the weight (if that's what we want), but we have to keep reinforcing the commitment side....keep reminding ourselves why we want it, keep practising doing it anyway even when we don't feel like it. Keep focusing....no matter what. Even when the novelty is wearing thin.

So barb. I reckon you are happy. I reckon you would like to lose some weight as it will be the icing on the cake so to speak. Thats it exactly, how do you know me better than I know myself? But I think you pressure yourself too much. You set yourself big weight loss challenges which are hard to follow unless other things are in place. Yeah, thats me!

Then when they don't happen for you, you are discouraged. I really feel that for you, you need to relax into it. Aim for something smaller and enjoy life whilst gradually putting food in it's correct department

KD, that would be the dream and sometimes I think I am so close to that I am nearly doing it.

Thank KD, for taking the time AGAIN to try to help me. I think you have summed up exactly where I'm at so well. I'm going to try to do well at being happy. I have my xtrainer, I have all my healthy eating knowledge, p'raps I should chuck those bl**dy scales and get on with the rest of my Fabulous LIfe!

Love

 

[Barb]

Ok the original yo yo is back in town! Funny thing is i couldn't care less!

I'm going to stop this weekly/daily/minute by minute weighing. It is counter productive and bloody depressing. lose 2, gain2, lose 2, gain 2. What am I really saying? STS!

So, going to stick with the 1st of the month weighing and recording - been doing that 5 years and at least I can see if anything disasterous is going on! Other than that, walking, healthy eating and no more stressing about my weight. I'm doing my best and frankly I have much more serious, real worries to contend with other than what the scales have to say!

 

[Barb]

Have just written a note to my Gp to say I will not be trying the tablets she prescribed to help with weight loss.

I've thought it through, discussed it on here and with DH and it just doesn't make sense to put chemicals into my body that will mess with my brain.
I'm not desperate enough. As KD said earlier in the week, I am happy. I'd 'like' to be thinner but it is not a driving urge by any means.

So decision made, onwards and downwards, in a gentle, sensible manner!

 

[Russiandoll]

Your post comes across as a calm and considered - I think your decision about the tablets is a wise one. You just don't know what mental effect they'll have; it's just not worth the risk.

The thing is, our weight is just ONE facet of our lives but I, for one, have made it my primary one. When I think logically, there is a lot more to me than just a number on a scale.
However, it's easy to say but I still end up quantifiying my success as a person based purely on my weight and dress size. :sigh:

Weighing once a month is a great idea ... if you're a few pounds lighter at the start of a the moneht, you won't know what upping and downing went on in the 4 weeks prior to stepping on the scales. To make an analogy, if someone from Aberdeen comes to Gosport, I have NO idea what route they took ... just that they got here. They might have taken the slow scenic route or come via the motorway - but so what?

Anyway, hope your new gentle 'be good to Barb' approach is enjoyable and fun.

 

[Barb]

So, 1st March so got on the scales. I am 1lb more than I was on the 1st of February. Am I upset? Hell no, I am seriously impressed. We've had lots of meals and out and stuff and a shedload of stress and all i've put on is a lb.

Just shows I only need to tweak things a little and that will be off again, hopefully with a lb or two more. I'm not stressing over it though. If I lose - great, if I don't - great!

 

[KD]

Oooh, so behind with your diary

Sounds good Barb. Priorities in order and all that. Relaxed, yet keeping a bit of an eye on it. Good on ya!

 

[Barb]

Thanks KD - I do feel better about 'stuff' at the mo. Just made the family egg mayo sandwiches, I fancied an egg salad, so thats what I had. It was yum. If I was in 'dieting/anti dieting mode' I would have had a sandwich and crisps, just because I was feeling rebelious or couldn't be bothered to do something 'just for me'.
I realise that whilst I have some naughty tendancies; like I like wine too much and chocolate too much, I also like a lot of healthy stuff too. I never give myself the credit for that. I am always too busy being negaitive about myself. I am really going to work on that.
I had a J20 with my salad, if I was cal counting i would have had water and used the J20 cals on chocolate. How mad is that? Not have the healthy fruit juice in order to have the unhealthy treat!
Thats the kind of twisted thinking I want to get away from.

I know I'm very much a 'work in progress' but i think I am making progress.

 

[Russiandoll]

You certainly are!!
I totally relate to what you wrote re sacrificing healthy for not-so-healthy but I'd probably have had both!

 

[Barb]

Funny thing is RD, I gave myself permission to have both and then didn't bother with the chocolate. In fact I had my salad at 12.30 and haven't had a morsel since!!

 

[Russiandoll]

I guess a lot of it is mental stuff .... if you're on a strict diet then slip by the tiniest degree, you find yourself packing in everything you can 'before you get back on the wagon' because you don't know when you're going to get the chance again. But given permission to have a little of what you fancy, you might actually not bother until you really WANT it.

 

[kandy]

Hiya Barb,

Sounds great and very wise too, it's all about changing your whole outlook . No more "diet" because diets can be broken !
Well done Barb foods much nicer when you have freedom to enjoy it whatever it may be !
Lotsa luv Julie xxx

 

[Barb]

Thats it exactly Julie. I have tried this approach before but this time I feel more relaxed about it. I am also trying to be positive about myself, something I generally find hard.

I am going to spend time today sorting out my clothes. I have loads, some that fit, some that nearly fit, somethat I have never worn. Probably like most of us on here - I hope anyway!
I'm going to sort it into outfits that I feel good in rather than stuff i can get into. I am going to chuck stuff that I tyr on but never actually wear.
I want organisation in my life; I hate that last minute try on of everything and feeling like I look awful in everything. So, I'm going to spend some very precious time on me - because I'm worth it.

This morning I have put on some nice trousers that fit well and a top that has a long line and hides my tum. I feel better about myself, I don't look bad at all. So I'm not going to keep telling myself that I do.
This afternoon I shall go and see my Mum; she is doing so well at the moment, better than i would have dared to hope, so I guess that is why my 'spirits' are in a very much better place.

Hope everyone has a lovely Sunday.

 

[Barb]

Well I had the best Mother's day ever! Lovely time with my Mum, great cards and pressies from my 4 and then got taken out by the kids (for the first time, guess they really are growing up) for a wonderful meal. DG came too, good as gold all evening which is pretty good as she is only 2! DD1 had filled a beautiful frame with pictures of them all and it is just gorgeous.

Did my clothes sorting and felt very pleased with myself. Feeling very positive at the moment, not particularly dieting wise, more life stuff.

This morning I decided to give myself the day off and stay at home and do some cooking. Always a fave hobby but never much time to do the fiddly stuff.

So, made my first ever butternut squash soup! Though I say so myself it is fab. Super healthy too!

Also made a huge batch of cheese straws to put in the freezer for dinner parties etc.. Very productive. Also made some shortcrust pastry as have promised DH a chicken pie. He doesn't do shop pies!

Later i am going to use the egg whites left over from the cheese straws to make a batch of meringues to freeze, also for future dinner parties! How organised am I?

Had soup for lunch, which is how I know it is yummy and now have a hankering for some sorbet!

 

[Barb]

Doing ok, been struck down by a bug which has given me tummy/head ache and a roaring temp. Annoying as I have stuff to do and I don't want to miss a day on my walker. Think I'll have to though. I'm up to 5 mins at a time now so I am doing well. I try to do that twice a day and have increased it by half a minute each day or so.

Nothing else to report. Feel horrible!

 

[Russiandoll]

Sorry to hear you're sounding yuk Barb. Hope it's one of those 24 hour things and you're back to fighting fit tomorrow. You're right not to push yourself on the Xtrainer when you're under par - your body needs all its energy reserves to fight whatever is attacking it.

Well done on your perseverance witrh the Xtrainer by the way ... mine would probably already be a novelty clothes airer by now!
Take care of you xx

 

[Barb]

Still feeling rubbish! So annoying, just ache, have a headache and a neckache, legs feel wobbly and still have a temp. Yesterday we had OFSTED so I had to go to work and attempt to look and sound intelligent! Not easy and I think it set me back a bit.
So annoying, I want to get on my xtrainer and I just don't feel I could/should.
So, I guess a quiet day for me today and I will see how I am tomorrow.