Time to get serious!

[bettiesrevenge]

You know what. I couldn't agree more. I think that you have found your mojo. It's on step 2. I mean even that is a measly 810 calories and if you play your cards right it's ketogenic.

I know all too well the swinging you describe. It's about finding something that will work without disaster striking!

You have plans and its exciting to see. In off to purchase a handshaker now. I have my blender but its not practical for work. I need either tetras or to make a shake. Tetras are gone in a shot with me so handshaker it is.

 

[CrazyDiamond]

You know what. I couldn't agree more. I think that you have found your mojo. It's on step 2. I mean even that is a measly 810 calories and if you play your cards right it's ketogenic.

I know all too well the swinging you describe. It's about finding something that will work without disaster striking!

You have plans and its exciting to see. In off to purchase a handshaker now. I have my blender but its not practical for work. I need either tetras or to make a shake. Tetras are gone in a shot with me so handshaker it is.

Ketosis was but a distant memory for me on step two, but i have an inclination to lean towards the carbier of the proteins - chick peas, lentils etc, so maybe I should avoid that this time.

You don't have a handshaker?? I have 2, well 3 if you count the one mum bought but I use! I couldn't live without it!!!

xx

 

[bettiesrevenge]

Well obvs I have a blender! But nope. No handshaker.

I think that sticking with chicken fish or turkey or even cottage cheese is a good plan maybe bring in the pulses once you have it licked?

 

[CrazyDiamond]

Oh you haven't lived girl! life without a hand shaker... unimaginable!

Isn't it funny how after a full on binge fest your not hungry for quite a while the next day? Ordinarily I am famished by 8am but here I am at 11.30 still going strong!

 

[bettiesrevenge]

Oh you haven't lived girl! life without a hand shaker... unimaginable!

Isn't it funny how after a full on binge fest your not hungry for quite a while the next day? Ordinarily I am famished by 8am but here I am at 11.30 still going strong!

Funny that I normally have my chocolate shakes hot but in this weather I'm branching out to a new regime.

Now, does anyone know if you can have stevia? I'm hanging for a sweet fix but I'm kind of thinking a stevia black coffee frappe may suffice.

 

[CrazyDiamond]

Funny that I normally have my chocolate shakes hot but in this weather I'm branching out to a new regime.

Now, does anyone know if you can have stevia? I'm hanging for a sweet fix but I'm kind of thinking a stevia black coffee frappe may suffice.

woah there lol, don't get too excitable!

Pretty sure any sweetener is fine - as long as it's a tablet sweetener.

12.50, only just starting to feel some hunger - off to have shake #1 - made with milk, mmmmm

x

 

[bettiesrevenge]

It's almost definately psychological that, I mean that yesterday you "filled the void" so today you are not hankering after eating as much, because you are still satisfied.

I meant to ask, how come this will be one of your last dates with Rana of 2013? How bloomin long does he spend on that ship?

 

[CrazyDiamond]

oh yeah, totally! forgot how good a milky shake is though, rich, uber sweet goodness, yummm!!

He goes back to India in the 18th (cry cry cryyyyy) on leave, and also looking for a new job in India - don't know if he will be back again, but if he is that will be Novemeber -but depending which ship that could be in the caribbean and italy (if he comes back to this one as they've changed the bloody itineraries!!) and not here - no good outlook either way at the moment :-( trying to get a ship transfer to one that is based here but is on the waiting list as he left it too late :-(

So I'll see him next weekend, then on the 8th, then probably long enough for a sad goodbye on the 18th when he flies home - until i get my ass into gear and get a visa and tickets sorted for a trip to India Octoberish.

It's all so hugely up in the air, and tbh I have no idea which is the best outcome - well for me, it's him not getting a job, getting a transfer and coming back - but that's a whole lotta what-ifs and uncertainties right there in itself - one day at a time is the only option for now!

x

 

[bettiesrevenge]

Yikes. I remember it well. We used to have a 12 week rule. I was lucky I guess because he could travel fairly easily compared to most Turkish people because of a business he was involved in. But still time off was rare, the holidays we took were magical and probably in stark contrast to living together, they were another world.

It's tough, but also exciting. At least you miss each other

Ahhh sounds good. Milky shake. About to have mine now. No milk though.

 

[CrazyDiamond]

I like that idea, I think we've loosely stuck to it, I think the longest was about 5 months - but that was really early on in our relationship, much longer than 12 weeks and things start to change so you can understand why I'm not so keen for him to get a job back home!

Yeah, I figure having been through this makes us stronger and I hope it will continue as opposed to breaking us! And yeah, we do miss each other, at the moment not so much as we have the luxury of regular visits but I can't even begin to explain the pain in my stomach I feel at the thought that my next hug is soon to be so far away though :-(

but hey...we got ourselves into this.... so gotta deal with the consequences!!

x

 

[bettiesrevenge]

This is true.

If I'm honest I wanted a long distance relationship. I couldn't handle commitment. But he grew on me. A bit like moss

I find being close to someone a bit cloistering. I'm not good in relationships. If i don't thrive I become all crazy. I've only had 2 proper relationships in my life. Both with the fathers of my girls ( yep I'm a praying mantis!!) I've always kept guys at arms lengths. A major factor in my weight issues methinks ( that I gained weight to put people off) I think I just resented being objectified. Not blowing my own trumpet but it happened a lot when I was in my teens. Just seemed to be what happened when you danced ballet.

Frickin heck I'm in a spill your guts kind of mood. Must have taken too much ltyrosine

Just had a forest fruits frappe. Lush was not in it! Blooming marvellous.

 

[Giraffeslovegojoberries]

Ladies. I just wanted to say that this thread is an absolute inspiration! Thank you all. Ive read this since I started 4 days ago and its kept me sane.

 

[CrazyDiamond]

This is true.

If I'm honest I wanted a long distance relationship. I couldn't handle commitment. But he grew on me. A bit like moss

I find being close to someone a bit cloistering. I'm not good in relationships. If i don't thrive I become all crazy. I've only had 2 proper relationships in my life. Both with the fathers of my girls ( yep I'm a praying mantis!!) I've always kept guys at arms lengths. A major factor in my weight issues methinks ( that I gained weight to put people off) I think I just resented being objectified. Not blowing my own trumpet but it happened a lot when I was in my teens. Just seemed to be what happened when you danced ballet.

Frickin heck I'm in a spill your guts kind of mood. Must have taken too much ltyrosine

Just had a forest fruits frappe. Lush was not in it! Blooming marvellous.

Ok, well I'm gonna join you on the spilling guts thing, without the remedies....

If I'm honest, I do really like the way things are just now, and have enjoyed going along with it for over 2 years now, so I guess I knew change was coming, but the easiest thing would be if we just carried on the way we are a little longer. For one, with my commute I wouldn't have time for a partner here all the time- I'm 90% sure it contributed to the beginning of the breakdown of my last relationship. And then there is the fact I only really have to think about myself a lot of the time - this made this diet a lot easier along the way too! My only regular commitment to Rana at the moment is phone calls, running the odd errand and the odd day or holiday together, which for now is lovely - but meh, I'm rocketing towards 30 and do want to have a family at some point - the clock is ticking, so gotta get real sooner or later!

I've had 2 very different long relationships constantly between the ages of 14 and 25 - there was only a short gap between the last and meeting Rana - just under 4 months, but the distance has allowed me for the first time in my life to actaully find out who "me" is, yet at the same time have the love and support of a lovely man - so it aint all that bad at all really, just gotta start planning the whole "growing up" thing now!

Ladies. I just wanted to say that this thread is an absolute inspiration! Thank you all. Ive read this since I started 4 days ago and its kept me sane.

Thanks!! It's nice to know these mad rants can be helpful - word of advise - don't fall off the bloody wagon like i keep doing lol

x

 

[bettiesrevenge]

See it feels good to share!

When I met my DH I was 30. It was honestly the best year of my life. Everything fell into place for me. I know it sounds trite but I knew he was my guy the minute I laid eyes on him. Our connection was karmic. Of course through the good and bad. I feel umbilically connected to him. Our problem is we are free spirits and we don't like answering to each other ! That's why we worked long distance and why living on top of each other is hard work. If we had enough money we would live like Helena Bonham carter and Tim burton. But that's not practical. Right now.

I know how hard it is to think about how you could fit someone into your life but it happens. It involves change though.

Growing up. It kind of just happens when you get to 30 I think. I felt more in control of myself at 30 than I had my whole life. I made a lot of things happen ( including being 9.5 stone and staying that way until I got knocked up at 32)

I always say what's meant to be will be. But you have to put the effort in to be in the right place at the right time. So the best thing to do is set sail enjoy the ride.

 

[CrazyDiamond]

I'm totally there with you! Last year was an amazing year for me, I was in floods of tears new years eve cos I didn't want it to be over, I never thought this year could be as good, but it has been, if not better, I had all the great bits of last year, plus my weight loss on top of that, ok there's always bad bits but I want to focus on the good.

Love that idea, Rana and I drive each other potty when we spend constant time together - I have to battle with him being the only son, a big thing in india, at times he thinks he is god, comes from him being the little prince (and still is) at home, its ironic that his last name translates to "king". So I spend my time trying to knock his ego back a bit, we were talking about it earlier, I've got his number and told him that, he knows he can try but won't get too far with me!

Totally into fate though, when i first encountered him, I was literally in a panic that night that I was leaving the ship 12 days later and that I couldn't leave without speaking to him or getting a way to speak to him again, it was such an urgent thing - which was so irrational for someone i had done nothing but exchange a hello and order some food from. So it's meant to be, I don't know if a whole future is meant to be - hopefully it is - but never the less the past couple of years were, and the knowledge and experiences I have gained as a result of our relationship.

and it keeps getting deeper.....

on a lighter note - just made a mousse with milk - not worth it, didn't taste much different - i'll use it in shakes next time.

Turkey and veg for dinner later - mums got a turkey breast joint so stealing a bit of that - no extra effort required, result!

 

[marthacol1988]

Step two all the way


You can do this!! Il be right there with u on Monday morning xxx

 

[CrazyDiamond]

Step two all the way

You can do this!! Il be right there with u on Monday morning xxx

Yay!! I mean it's sad that neither of us have the holiday anticipation any more, but at the same I'm looking forward to having you back!

Well, so far so good, today went like this...

Choc shake made with milk allowance
Choc mousse made with more of the milk allowance
Turkey and salad - but not full measure as I would have ended up with a plate full and left my parents with very little for dinner!
Choc banana shake made with remaining milk (and water to top it up!)

Think I found a better ratio for choc banana cos I was finding 50/50 too bananary still, so have gone for 75/25 - it's much better though might try even less!

And I'm now left with a pot with 50%butterscotch, 25%choc 25%banana - will be an interesting one to have one day!

Seeing my CWPC tomorrow, dreading it as its possible I may have gained in the two weeks since I saw him last, oh well, at least I'm back on track now!

 

[bettiesrevenge]

Good going! Chocolate and banana? That's creative!!
Sounds like a good day. How are you feeling?

 

[CrazyDiamond]

Good going! Chocolate and banana? That's creative!!
Sounds like a good day. How are you feeling?

Oh yes, creative- that's me!

Yay for a good day! Only thing bugging me is my weigh in tomoz, but it is what it is!

Spent some time this evening working on my application, it'd be a good thing in 2 ways - keeping my weight on track but also hopefully buying me a little financial freedom. I'd love for it to sustain me fully at some point - I don't wanna be an employee anymore, but lets not jump the gun yet eh!

Oh how I would give anything to be self employed, or freelance, or anything without such restraints! I need me an occupation that I can take with me wherever I am!

....random slip off topic!

 

[Wigglybunny]

Best of luck with your weigh in. Glad to see your mojo has reappeared. Long may it continue...I'll be joining you on step 2 a week tomorrow! Can't believe it's been almost twelve weeks... I remember reading your diary back at the start and being really inspired. Thank you. x


10 weeks in...51lbs down...35 to go!