TOUGH LOVE-APPLY WITHIN

jezzi999 said:
On the whole I'm really enjoying SW at the moment. The diet suits me, and I'm making good choices. There's less counting than WW (very triggering as ex-anorexic), and the plan feels really balanced and healthy. I find myself really weighing up trade-offs between foods - should I use my dairy allowance today for a piece of cheese, or my bedtime oat milk? Do I want porridge for breakfast or should I hold off and have ryvitas with my soup later. Am i hungry, or just thirsty. And that's good. Slim people make these choices subconsciously all the time.

I think my biggest psychological problem at the moment is that what I eat and what I lose seem to bear little relation.

Obviously if I eat junk I gain, and if I stick to SW I lose, but even though I track my food, mood and exercise in a diary every day 100% honestly, when I am good (every week so far except weeks holiday) my loss can vary from STS to 1.5lb. But there's no real pattern. Exercising more, or less, doesn't give a predictable result, or eating less syns or more. It just seems to be largely random.

I don't have periods (contraceptive implant) so I don't have any kind of monthly hormonal cycle.

I know that all losses are good, but I would love to think oh I can lose x lb per week so that I could say I will lose x lb this month, or this year.

I am just baffled how people plan to lose a set amount per week or month as doing the same thing two weeks in a row has massively varying effects for me.

Last week I was determined to lose the 1.5lb I gained on holiday. I was 100% on plan and lost 0.75lb. This is what triggered my BBQ wobbly, which was luckily averted.

An I missing something obvious? I just badly want to be able to set myself goals, but everytime I do I don't seem to be able to meet it, and that's a big binge trigger for me. I have managed not to binge so far, but its been extremely stressful and all of the eating disorder counselling I've had recommends avoiding triggers.

At the moment I am just "looking forward" to hitting each 1/2st goal, club 10 (10% weight loss), dropping BMI catagories etc, but not putting a time frame on them. Should I stick to this? Or put more pressure onto myself to achieve? I'm just not sure pressure = results?
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Hi Jezzi

I am exactly the same as you, so I try to look at 8 week periods when I set any challenges. Week to week is too short, the body does all sorts of weird things :) Keep up the exercise, sticking to plan, recording everything and try to set a longer term goal and really fight for it each time. I think setting a date helps, I just set myself my goal date for target yesterday, I need to lose just over a pound and a half a week every week until the end of March 2013. Having a date in mind really excites me. I have done a graph with my target loss each week plotted on it, all the way to end of March. I'm so sad I even put in in a special folder I bought!

Good luck, over time you may realise other things are impacting on your weightlosses on your STS weeks (could be things like hydration levels, amount of superfree foods, bowel movements, water retention... lots of things!). But yes, sometimes the body does different things some times :)
 
jezzi999 said:
On the whole I'm really enjoying SW at the moment. The diet suits me, and I'm making good choices. There's less counting than WW (very triggering as ex-anorexic), and the plan feels really balanced and healthy. I find myself really weighing up trade-offs between foods - should I use my dairy allowance today for a piece of cheese, or my bedtime oat milk? Do I want porridge for breakfast or should I hold off and have ryvitas with my soup later. Am i hungry, or just thirsty. And that's good. Slim people make these choices subconsciously all the time.

I think my biggest psychological problem at the moment is that what I eat and what I lose seem to bear little relation.

Obviously if I eat junk I gain, and if I stick to SW I lose, but even though I track my food, mood and exercise in a diary every day 100% honestly, when I am good (every week so far except weeks holiday) my loss can vary from STS to 1.5lb. But there's no real pattern. Exercising more, or less, doesn't give a predictable result, or eating less syns or more. It just seems to be largely random.

I don't have periods (contraceptive implant) so I don't have any kind of monthly hormonal cycle.

I know that all losses are good, but I would love to think oh I can lose x lb per week so that I could say I will lose x lb this month, or this year.

I am just baffled how people plan to lose a set amount per week or month as doing the same thing two weeks in a row has massively varying effects for me.

Last week I was determined to lose the 1.5lb I gained on holiday. I was 100% on plan and lost 0.75lb. This is what triggered my BBQ wobbly, which was luckily averted.

An I missing something obvious? I just badly want to be able to set myself goals, but everytime I do I don't seem to be able to meet it, and that's a big binge trigger for me. I have managed not to binge so far, but its been extremely stressful and all of the eating disorder counselling I've had recommends avoiding triggers.

At the moment I am just "looking forward" to hitting each 1/2st goal, club 10 (10% weight loss), dropping BMI catagories etc, but not putting a time frame on them. Should I stick to this? Or put more pressure onto myself to achieve? I'm just not sure pressure = results?
Click to expand...

kim always a bit wary posting when people have had eating disorders if im totally honest as losing weight for them has different psychological effects than it does for the average joe attempting to lose weight. ive never had an eating disorder and i have no knowledge on the subject so im sorry if im getting it wrong but, i would say you need to chill a bit, youve had an eating disorder, you dont want to go back there, your eating healthy, your exercising your keeping a mood diary, your doing your best...just because your doing your best that doesnt mean that your body will lose weight ata rate that YOU want it to. be patient, keep going, you ARE losing weight and you are being impatient, which will be your undoing. you sts some weeks and lose 1.5 others, have you added up how much youve lost so far and divided it by the number of weeks youve been going? what is your average loss? the healthy average is between 1-2 pounds, some people (usually men for some bizarre reason maybe because they are designed to naturally hold less fat than women i dont know) lose at a quicker rate, some at a slower rate. now if its not going as fast as you like you have a choice...you can cut back even further, or accept that its just not going to be as quick as youd hoped. as you have had an eating disorder and as you are actually still losing weight i wouldnt recommend cutting back any further as it sounds like your already pretty on the ball with it and you dont want it verging on obsession, you gained on holiday- 1.5 pound, this isnt bad as far as holiday gains go BUT if its made you miserable after was it worth it? maybe next time just stck to your plan while your away and keep on track. sw is a funny old thing...i found if i stuck to it id lose sporadically too, but if i went over just a bit id gain massively it didnt tally up.....and its because of the 'free' and 'superfree' food...it would vary how much of this i had during the week, id discount anything free or superfree believing it actually didnt have an effect on my body as it was 'free' (i knew deep down this wasnt the case but i liked to kid myself) if your eating several pieces of fruit a day and snacking on free food when you think your hungry then your weight loss is going to be slower..we actually need a lot less food than we think, people are scared of feeling hungry, like if theyre hungry its the worst thing in the world and like being hungry means they MUST eat something...sorry but no you dont, if youve had 3 meals and a couple of healthy snacks for the day, youve had enough, just stop, dont sit picking all night on super free or free food just because you can. watch your portion sizes aswell, and if you need extra syns on a weekend then dont have many through the week, dont flexi syn...it doesnt work if you do it every week and youll gain. and most of all dont obsess, thinking about what you can and cant have all day means your thinking about food all day....decide what your having each meal and as your snack/s for the whole day first thing in a morning, write it down and stick to it....tell yourself you are not allowed anything else, this is all the food you can have and thats it. dont make extra snacking an option.

BonnieBooBear said:
Crikey you don't look old enough to have a teenager!
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ooh rod was mean to you for giving me this compliment....think hes jealous hahahaha ;) thanks hun i was only 17 when i had him so was a baby really

right ivesaved some cals for a snack.. i have 300 left for the day to take me upto 1200....i actually dont fancy anything but going below 1200 isnt very good for you....should i just leave it or should i eat for the sake of eating?
 
conlou1 said:
sw is a funny old thing...i found if i stuck to it id lose sporadically too, but if i went over just a bit id gain massively it didnt tally up.....and its because of the 'free' and 'superfree' food...it would vary how much of this i had during the week, id discount anything free or superfree believing it actually didnt have an effect on my body as it was 'free' (i knew deep down this wasnt the case but i liked to kid myself) if your eating several pieces of fruit a day and snacking on free food when you think your hungry then your weight loss is going to be slower..we actually need a lot less food than we think, people are scared of feeling hungry, like if theyre hungry its the worst thing in the world and like being hungry means they MUST eat something...sorry but no you dont, if youve had 3 meals and a couple of healthy snacks for the day, youve had enough, just stop, dont sit picking all night on super free or free food just because you can. watch your portion sizes aswell, and if you need extra syns on a weekend then dont have many through the week, dont flexi syn...it doesnt work if you do it every week and youll gain. and most of all dont obsess, thinking about what you can and cant have all day means your thinking about food all day....decide what your having each meal and as your snack/s for the whole day first thing in a morning, write it down and stick to it....tell yourself you are not allowed anything else, this is all the food you can have and thats it. dont make extra snacking an option.
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This is pretty much what I've come to realise lately. Slimming World hasn't helped me to control my portion sizes at all which is a very useful skill to learn if I expect to keep weight off long term. I've just switched to Weight Watchers and I think I've learnt a lot already. :)
 
Stef84 said:
This is pretty much what I've come to realise lately. Slimming World hasn't helped me to control my portion sizes at all which is a very useful skill to learn if I expect to keep weight off long term. I've just switched to Weight Watchers and I think I've learnt a lot already. :)
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I didn't get on with that either. I found it too faffy having to convert stuff into points. I'm eating Sw food so it's healthy but counting the calories, making sure I only have 1200 most days. The odd day I'll have upto 1500 then on a weekend I tend to have upto and over 2000 on one night but bringing that down now too as I need to learn to eat pretty similarly most days. It's alcohol for me, so I'm learning the art of stopping after a couple rather than drinking myself into a coma. I look better, feel better and I'm sure my insides are healthier. I only drink once a week I'd like to add I'm not a lush lol I just tend to drink too much when I do...... Or used to. I'm a new me :D

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
I am sorry to report that I have given you lot no reason to kick my butt today :) went out for dinner and had roasted chicken - I even asked them to scrap the wedges it came with and give me a mountain of salad instead.

Catxsue - eat loads of healthy food just before your concert and save your hexb during the day. You can have cereal bars to take with you then to snack on. Burger vans mean only one thing - a LOT of fat!! Don't make it an option - use your syns for a drink or two to let your hair down. But make sure you have a syn free day before hand and stay within allowance!

Then you can feel as smug as me haha!
 
I agree. Burger Van stuff is awful. Eat before and take some healthy and delicious snacks!

I know I'm feeling healthy when I think of a Burger Van Burger and cringe. My friend also made a Coca-Cola Cake today and posted pictures on facebook and the thought of it just made me feel awful!
 
hi! :wave_cry:
i am applying for some tough love!! i need a good ass kicking and a slap! lol..not sure if im in the right forum! ;)

but seriously have kinda fluked my weight loss so far! started SW 14 weeks ago, doing ok, but have only had 1 week 100% on plan, and well theis week is kinda showed as i sts :'( have lost every other week so far!

im a big comfort eater n if something is going wrong i head for...anything edible!!
 
you are in the right place for sure!! How do you think you will be able to sustain losing weight if you don't follow the plan? Of course your luck was going to eventually run out - really you are lucky you have never had a gain if you are honest! Your weight loss will be so much easier if you cut the cheating!!

Someone once said to me "don't reward yourself with food - you are not a dog" and I think the same principle applied to comforting yourself with food.

It's only food! Remember that - IT'S ONLY FOOD!!! You will feel so much more 'comforted' with a nice big loss than you will scoffing cake!!

Stick with it (PROPERLY) for a week and come back and gloat next week when you tell us you have lost!
 
lisajade said:
To me they are both about honesty and living in reality. Its easy for us fatties to kid ourselves, so we have to be tough and honest about why we are where we are, and what we are going to do about it. I think the more frank we are about that, without all the softly-softly approach just cuts out so much time wasting and playing about. You made sense to me, hope this reply made sense :)
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Perfect!!

loolahoop said:
hi! :wave_cry:
i am applying for some tough love!! i need a good ass kicking and a slap! lol..not sure if im in the right forum! ;)

but seriously have kinda fluked my weight loss so far! started SW 14 weeks ago, doing ok, but have only had 1 week 100% on plan, and well theis week is kinda showed as i sts :'( have lost every other week so far!

im a big comfort eater n if something is going wrong i head for...anything edible!!
Click to expand...

Look how far you have come. You WERE doing something right. Get back to it. Learn to ENJOY what you eat, not punish yourself with it.... if you do that you wont comfort or overeat..... all to often, people trying to lose weight eat what they dont like, just because its low fat food, or "free" - (I put that in inverted commas because NO food is free)... the whole problem with diet cycle is that we deny ourselves when really, you can eat so well, good tasty REAL foods.... The advice from here is the best...... STOP before you put it in your mouth... is is worth it?? You know the answer to that...... it never ever is..... Get to it.... 100%, no excuses.....
 
Hey ya'all did ya miss me?!?!?!? hahaha Hope you've all shedded loads in my absence
 
loolahoop said:
hi! :wave_cry:
i am applying for some tough love!! i need a good ass kicking and a slap! lol..not sure if im in the right forum! ;)

but seriously have kinda fluked my weight loss so far! started SW 14 weeks ago, doing ok, but have only had 1 week 100% on plan, and well theis week is kinda showed as i sts :'( have lost every other week so far!

im a big comfort eater n if something is going wrong i head for...anything edible!!
Click to expand...

Yo Loopafrootloop, you are just the sort of half-assed, slack jawed wannabe that thrives in this environment

check out my signature the problem is not the problem - the problem is one's attitude to the problem

the hit n miss approach can work, especially in the early days and I am glad you've had progress.

But rewind and just think about how much BETTER that progress could have been without the cheating.

you came to the right thread for sure.

It's not just me any more, there are some serious individuals that hang out here and the advice and tips dispensed will make a difference

but only you can stop the cheating - use your hands wisely, for your mind will allow them to pick up the wrong stuff and ram it in your gob.

Conquer your mindset and the slinky jeans will be yours

How much do you want it?
How good will the reward for your effort be?

dare you venture back in next week and 'fess up to a disaster?

or are are you gonna show us what you're really made of?

Edit:

your goal date of ASAP is bullsh!t

work out when you want to be there (and be double realistic) and put it on the calendar. Work back from there with a food plan and a social pitfall avoidance scheme

it's all basic basic stuff, you seem a clever girl, prove me wrong at your peril
 
Last edited:
Good job my dears, that's awesome. Happy 4th of July to everyone and Happy Birthday to me :)


Rod the Bass said:
Hi Exi - welcome back

some great news here, some STS (inc me!) and some wobbles - the usual! :D
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conlou1 said:
Ooh thanks mr mean :D I certainly am NOT wavering my lack of sleep is quite frankly turning me into a bi-atch. Not only shelling out the tough love I'm giving myself an arse kicking too. I snacked last night it was within my cals but it was unnecessary and will not get me where I want to be as quick as I want. No snacking tonight. If I do you have my permission to kick my butt big time.

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
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Hehe good attitude, well at least you will be a thin biatch eh?
 
haha bonnie i like your sig :D

well i am about to weigh in...officially, hope that my temp bloat from yesterday has gone...i worked out what it was, i had pasta for tea, i rarely have pasta and i dont think ill have it again, it obviously doesnt agree with me!

loolahoop where to start with this one.....right, youve 'fluked' it you say, firstly there is no flukes, you changed your diet for the better and it worked upto now but now your body has dropped some weight and needs less cals and has become accustomed to the way your eating you need to step up and show yourself what your really made of. you can mess about with the plan, cheat, nit pick at food and pretend your not doing it or tell yourself you 'deserve' it as youve had a bad day etc, but food is not a reward, it is food, we need it to live-thats it...yes it tastes nice but that doesnt mean you have to eat as much of it as you can at any given opportunity or excuse, enjoy the food you are allowed on your diet then stop....no matter how much you have of it youll always want more if you allow yourself to think that way. plan, write out what your going to eat at each meal and for each snack, make sure it absolutely fits in 100% to your food plan and stick to it...NO OTHER FOOD IS ALLOWED. dont make it an option. if you were having an operation and were told to fast for 12 hours would you sdtart eating regardless? no, because you can control it and you can live with hunger, its not a disease its just hunger, and it will wait, nothing bad will happen because you wait for your next meal. real hunger goes away, doesnt come on strongly and suddenly and it will wait. so can you. fancying something 'nice' is the time when you absolutely shoudl not eat, all you are doing is concreting in the fact that if you fancy it and youve had a bad day that its ok to eat whatever you want, well it is ok, theres no law against it, but you wont lose weight and you wont change a thing. its easier when you stop thinking about it and making it an option....change your thoughts, your in control, your mind is your own, decide what you want to think about-big fat greasy cakes or you at your ideal weight feeling fantastic. now get on the right track and dont look back. (ooh that rhymed lol)
 
Just had an intereting conversation with a colleague about loosing weight - he is trained in sports science (nothing to do with work, I work for a software house). I asked him where it 'goes' when we loose - because lets face it, a lumb of subcutanious fat is a white jelly like blob the size of a bag of sugar. He said that we literally breathe it out - break fats down and they end up as carbon dioxide and water vapour.

I just like the thought of it, the more exercise you do, the more intensively you breathe and the more fat you 'breathe out'. A good thing to visualise when doing exercise I think? He also said that the chemical reaction where you break down fat needs water to happen - not enough water in your cells because you are dehydrated = not enough for maximum fat metabolisation. So get drinking people!
 
Today I am looking for tips and IDEAS!!

I am off on friday morning for three days in Cornwall - fishing for bass

It's a competition that starts on friday at midday and runs til midday on sunday

I will be living wild - ie sleeping in the car/a hedge/wherever I fall etc

most years I lived on pasties and bags of chips - not an option this year

I can take my camping stove/disp BBQ etc with me and a cool bag, it's just me in my car - what would you guys do?

I do like mostly to eat meat/veg and salad, carb limiting is my thing really - so sandwiches/pasta pots/cold rice etc wont fly.

And to compound matters the sign in is at mcDonalds!!

and yes I do intend to catch some fish to eat!!
 
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