faery_lights
Going Places
Haha- feeling the TOUGH love today. You guys rock and have honestly done more than anybody ever has before to help me on my weightloss journey! Love this thread!
TOUGH LOVE-APPLY WITHIN
- Thread starter Rod the Bass
- Start date
Rod the Bass
The Outlaw Torn
but
but
but
I'll kick your but
you missed it so much, BUT couldn't find an internet cafe' within ONE to TWO miles walk to log in and drink a black coffee at??
If my internet was off, I'd just tool about about until I found one of those free facilities that the council keep open just for people to ignore and sit in their houses watching shyte like Jeremy Kyle on TV
oh thats right, they're called LIBRARIES
and yes I do use it, my OH regularly takes the kids to the library and yes they walk there in the rain
I am sick of excuses can you tell?
conlou1
Gold Member
well done!!! that took some iron will smiley man!!! be proud, and remember not to be disappointed by the scales tomorrow if you dont lose a ridiculous amount (like you was last week, even though i think 7 pound in one week is phenominal i remember you feeling disappointed) as its not humanly possible to lose a stone every week, the less there is of you the slower it will come off, and your body adjusts to the drop in calories at some point. a loss is a loss and so long as you have done your very best then there is no room for improvement and you have to deal with whatever result you get and be happy that theyre going down and not up!
thanks for the link rod. i wrote that before i found you guys, i forgot what id written and read it back last night and cant believe i mention tough love a few times...just goes to show there really are like minded people out there, and its nice to be on a thread with them. you all have a wicked sense of humour and majority have an iron will (some still need to commit, but im ready and waiting with my cane) and rather than telling each other its ok to eat rubbish as 'we deserve it' were telling each other to stop being so silly and tow the line, and it really does help. i had a hard week last week and to get on the scales this morning and see that i have in fact managed to remain the same weight (after showing a 2 pound gain yesterday) is fantastic. i put in the hard work, i made the best choices i could and accepted that on a few occasions i could have done better but didnt let it phase me, this is new for me. i feel im on the home run now, this week i can p1ss it, no booze, healthy good food, low cals, lots of walking. i want to get to 10.7 by august the 9th for my cousins wedding, and its entirely upto me if i do it or not. so ill just do it. simples.
BonnieBooBear
Full Member
Just read this on the BBC website....not doing any exercise not only makes you a fat f*ck but now is likely to be as deadly as smoking:
BBC News - Inactivity 'killing as many as smoking'
I see the recommended minimum is 150 minutes a week - that is 3.3 runs at 45 mins each - daunting to think of doing that for the rest of my life to give myself the best chance of health! Just gonna have to make it part of my weekly routine and suck it up.
BBC News - Inactivity 'killing as many as smoking'
I see the recommended minimum is 150 minutes a week - that is 3.3 runs at 45 mins each - daunting to think of doing that for the rest of my life to give myself the best chance of health! Just gonna have to make it part of my weekly routine and suck it up.
faery_lights
Going Places
Fat doesn't equal poor health, true BUT many of the contributors to being fat do i.e. eating junk and not exercising.
I am not ever going to be skinny- I've got a fairly biggish build compared to most ladies. But I do want to be healthy and eating better foods and exercising is making me healthier and it's also helping me to feel confident in myself and like I am accomplishing something. Those are better reasons for me than being 'skinny'. As Lou says in her awesome thread, it's about finding a weight that's right for you. Doesn't mean you have to be a Size 0. You just have to feel happy and confident within yourself and to have a healthy relationship with food and exercise. When you have those things, then you'll be on to a winner
So, when thinking of reasons, maybe that can help?
conlou1
Gold Member
losing weight isnt all about looks, and im pleased your happy and confident with yourself this will actually make it easier! but dont use this as an excuse to opt out of getting healthy. you are over weight and that isnt good, it has long term health complications and just cos your ok now doesnt mean you always will be, you run the risk of getting diabetes, i presume your young, your body can still cope with being the size you are, but do you think it will be the same in 10-20 years time? your knees will hurt, your back will hurt, youll be out of breath and wheezy just trying to get up the stairs. and do you have kids? if not, do you know that if you have an unhealthy bmi they really hammer it home to you as its very dangerous for baby, they make you go on a diet and your told to absolutely not put anymore weight on, baby can be born prem, you can get gestational diabetes and your risk of needing a c section is higher-its not good. it sounds to me like you accepted the size you are, and have learnt to like who you are at that size, which is great but it also is a kind of excuse to slip off....oh i like the way i look i dont NEED to lose weight....your stronger than that and i dont believe that you really are happy with the size you are or why would you even be losing weight in the first place? youve probably given yourself the excuse that when you were thin you was unhappy and had an eating disorder so being thin means misery therefore its much better to be bigger and actually your quite happy that way.....youve probably said it so much to yourself that you now believe it. no one is telling you to be skinny, no one will tell you what size to be but factually speaking your healthier with a waist smaller than 35inches and having a bmi of 25 or less, your risk of getting weight related illnesses drop significantly. i think you know what drives you to lose weight, i thikn you DO want to be slimmer, but i thik your scared and saying your happy the way you are kind of gives you that get out of jail free card should you decide its all a bit much. im scared too, i dont know why, i get a bit panicky when i get closer to target and i think its cos i put all my happiness on 'when i lose weight' and its rubbish, its good to be happy with the rest of your life and not put everything on hold until you lose weight. losing weight will change your life in a lot of ways but all of your happiness doesnt depend on it, power through that negative thought, if you dont want to lose anymore weight, thats totally ok, its your life..
conlou1
Gold Member
perhaps aim for a bmi of 25? then your healthy and see where you fele like going from there? you may be happy there or decide youd like to lose a bit more. tbh i didnt set my goal date until i lost a bit of weight cos it just made me feel really fed up, but once the weight started coming off again and i know i have to get into a 10 by december i set it. i know rod likes people to have goal dates but if its depressing you then maybe set your goal date for when youd like to lose your first stone? and do it stone by stone?
Hi all, back from holidays...the first break away in my life I didn't go mental and just binge for the sake of it! Big change.
I did have a great time...and that included some planned nights out. It's important to let ur hair down too! A quick peek in the scales shows a small loss, so happy with that!
Am back on it...and, am doing something a bit different this week...a friend of mine is training to become a personal trainer, and has asked me To be her guinea pig for assignments, so for the past 2 mornings have been down the local park at the crack of dawn doing sprints and bear crawls to beat the band! Have a 7k race tomo, and a 10k on Sunday...an food is under control. Being on my next loss!!
I did have a great time...and that included some planned nights out. It's important to let ur hair down too! A quick peek in the scales shows a small loss, so happy with that!
Am back on it...and, am doing something a bit different this week...a friend of mine is training to become a personal trainer, and has asked me To be her guinea pig for assignments, so for the past 2 mornings have been down the local park at the crack of dawn doing sprints and bear crawls to beat the band! Have a 7k race tomo, and a 10k on Sunday...an food is under control. Being on my next loss!!
Rod the Bass
The Outlaw Torn
you have to have a goal date
it doesn't have to be your ultimate goal though!
mine is, lots are, but it doesn't have to be
but I don't care what anyone says, if you have something to aim for, you got chance at getting your head into it
shoot at nothing, you hit nothing
put it this way. when I go fishing, I am hunting a fish. I use rod,line,reel and a lure
If I don't use the lure, I WILL NOT catch a fish. If I don't use any of the above I will not catch a fish
so what is the point of me going fishing without the tools for the job?
weight loss is the same
the GOAL DATE is a tool of the job and without it, you might as well swim around in aimless circles
your tools are willpower, discipline, planning and a goal date
pack them with you whever you go
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Patchninja
Full Member
I think I must be the oldest peep on this thread - 53.When you're young, it's much easier to shift that fat and get fit. Once you girls hit the menopause and middle aged spread threatens everyone, you'll regret messing it up now. Get fit and slender before you're 40 and your later life will be much better. Heart attacks can hit anyone. I got breast cancer and no-one EVER in my family has had that so you just never know what's in store. We have to give ourselves the best possible chance.
conlou1
Gold Member
im kind of in agreement with you on this....sorry rod....but i think sometimes having goals can have a detrmiental effect of your not totally focused and still trying to figure out your 'path' but i totally get where rod is coming from now ive found what works for me....but i dont think your quite fully commited yet, and i think this is actually where the problem lies rather than the 'date setting' youve said today that your happy the way you are and dont want to lose weight for looks, and your not sure why your doing it, and youve also said that if you set a goal and dont hit it youll quit...these are both excuses to quit..or get out clauses if you like. you are already giving yourself a reason to quit. but i think theres that small part of you that knows you need to do this and that really isnt happy. im not having a go at you now as i think your probably feeling a bit fed up with it at the minute....BUT i have dieted a long time...14 years in total, and im only just getting it now....i took the scenic route to get here and was pretty stubborn about it, told myself i was happy the way i was, told myself theres more important things in life, made every single excuse you can think of to give myself permission to eat junk and then would cry when i gained or sts. even if i had a loss, this would be used as an excuse to eat. food is an addiction, its a hard one to break, and were all in this together.....but you have to want to do it, if you dont then only you can decide where you go from here. id love you to do this and i think you have the capability to do it, but i think your a bit lost and a bit in denial...no one sts if theyve been 100% on a diet, im sorry but your doing something wrong...thats cool, but if you want the help, ill be more than happy to mull over your food diary, ill help any way i can and can offer practical advice based on stuff thats helped me, and you WILL lose weight if you follow it, i guarantee you that, but you have to want it....and only you know if you want it enough to let go of the excuses and get out clauses.
sparty
Gold Member
jezzi999 said:
We all have a date on here Jezz and not one of us 'knows' we will hit it. It's to get your butt in gear and work your guts out to TRY and hit it. Its to give You something to focus on When you are tempted to reach for That choc bar.
It's hard to pick a certain weight out of thin air and we do all understand that - some of us went through That struggle too. The only way I set mine was because I was going in holiday!
Your goals are really Good goals to have but rules are rules! Its a commandment of TL now to have one lol. If you really are determined NOT to have one, what does that say about your mind set? Is your head really in the game?
How about you set the first one and see how it goes?! We will help you work out something realistic. Maybe for you smaller targets would be better. What was your start weight? And what are you at now?
faery_lights
Going Places
I do the smaller target thing and I missed my target twice before tough loving it. I am not sure what my ultimate target will be. Last time I did the weightloss Thing I only had an ultimate goal and it stressed me out a lot more. But I always set my target to lose 1lb a week. Just my personal approach!
Sent from my LG-LU3700 using MiniMins
Sent from my LG-LU3700 using MiniMins
conlou1
Gold Member
i never said you wasnt. but i think your already lining up the excuses for when the going gets tough thats all. and im saying this because ive done it myself..like i say if you want me to help with your diaries if youve sts and really dont know why i will be happy to look at them, im happy to do it over pm if you dont want it publicised. i WANT you to do this, im not saying all this to be a b1tch...i just know how good it can be when you finally get it...and it starts paying off, theres no reason why it needs be this hard for you, i remember that feeling like your taking one step forward and 2 back and working your butt of for it, its not nice. but therell be something a miss if its not coming off, that i can whole heartedly promise you. i dont have all the answers and im certainly not always right, but my hearts in the right place and if i can help i will. tough love only works with the love part, otherwise this will be a thread of people just being right nasty b*****ds to each other and that actually helps no one. the offer is there if you EVER need it.
conlou1
Gold Member
i have no knowledge of eating disorders whatsoever so cant comment on that, but perhaps some counselling to deal with the issues?
sparty
Gold Member
Jezzi - take time to properly consider your goals/target but please don't go AWOL from the forum. I think you should still use it to spur you on while you do some soul searching.
giving tough love is good for us to remind us of what we need to be doing! So no going quiet on us ya hear - we want your input too!!
giving tough love is good for us to remind us of what we need to be doing! So no going quiet on us ya hear - we want your input too!!
Patchninja
Full Member
I promise I'm not going AWOL I'm still going to be viewing but thinking through some of my "issues" (haha so Jeremy Kyle) and trying to work out why I'm doing it and setting some goals.
I like TL too much to disappear entirely!
Thanks for all the input so far x
Your goal on your ticker is huge. Losing weight is like eating an elephant - one bite at a time. I would make yourself a new ticker with a 10% loss - say a loss rounded up to 25lbs. When you reach that goal, make yourself a second ticker with perhaps a 30lb loss. You CAN do this and not make yourself ill. Being firm with yourself is essential. Gazing into a chasm isn't good for anyone and I think that's what you're doing. Remember. One bite at a time.
Cat Lover Sue
Slimming and Swinging!
Hi Peeps - and Top of The Morning To Ya, Rod! - just skim read the last 3 pages as at work. You lot are on fire this morning! Well done Sparty on your meal and Smileyman on getting through last night without resorting to drinking and binge nibbling!
I see there's some talk about target/goal weight. I initially set mine at 11 stone which was 5.5 stone off my original weight. I honestly didn't think I would get to that so when I did I adjusted it to 10 stone which takes me under the BMI of 25. My plan when I get to 10 stone is to go into a buffer zone where I take off a few more pounds but can let my weight fluctuate a little as I go into maintenance mode but 10 stone will always be my ceiling from now on.
I appreciate that will still make me on the heavier side for my height but with my weights I aim to keep toning up and as a curvey girl (big knockers) I would look ridiculous much lighter. Basically think Dolly Parton but slightly younger and less trashy looking (just a little)!
I think your goal/target weight is personal to you and only you know what you are truly comfortable with.
I see there's some talk about target/goal weight. I initially set mine at 11 stone which was 5.5 stone off my original weight. I honestly didn't think I would get to that so when I did I adjusted it to 10 stone which takes me under the BMI of 25. My plan when I get to 10 stone is to go into a buffer zone where I take off a few more pounds but can let my weight fluctuate a little as I go into maintenance mode but 10 stone will always be my ceiling from now on.
I appreciate that will still make me on the heavier side for my height but with my weights I aim to keep toning up and as a curvey girl (big knockers) I would look ridiculous much lighter. Basically think Dolly Parton but slightly younger and less trashy looking (just a little
)!I think your goal/target weight is personal to you and only you know what you are truly comfortable with.
