TOUGH LOVE-APPLY WITHIN

[anradharc]

Lizz,

Your story resonates with me - I share much the same issues; fairly fit yet overweight, trying to set a role model for my kids, etc. But what I really share with you is the 'being good for three days then going a bit bananas'...This has to be the single hardest cycle I've ever tried to break and believe me I'm not yet at the point where I can say I've done it. BUT, reading through this thread has made me realise that that being good for three/four/five, however many days does not give me a licence to let go, it does not give me a licence to eat whatever I like because I plan on cycling 20 miles tomorrow...I put the food in my mouth, I overindulge- In my case usually at weekends and then I'm the one crying when I have no nice clothes, look like a moose and feel miserable when surrounded by my peers.
I only promise you one thing- the first time you resist binging and go and eat a huge bowl of fruit salad, take your baby to the park, crochet/knit a scarf instead of stuffing your face, you will go to bed with a smile on your face and a belief in your heart that you can do it. You understand discipline, being in the forces, you understand strength, I know you understand hard work. So do those things, be those things.
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil (fat) is for good men to do nothing...except sit around and whinge. Slightly modified version of Edmund Burke, but true!
Welcome aboard. (I would normally put an xx here but in the spirit of the thread consider yourself back-slapped instead)

 

[slimmersally]

Welcome Lizz

I find that reading this thread helps to keep me on the straight and narrow. You have already lost 3 stone so you know how to do it, it's just keeping on doing it and getting it right in your head. You will get loads of tips from people here, but here are two from me:

Listening to Paul McKenna's "I can make you thin" was very helpful, especially listening to it when I felt like eating crap and also at bed time (sent me straight to sleep after a while).

If you don't have binge foods in the house then you will have nothing to binge on. Fill your cupboards with healthy things that you really enjoy.

I look forward to reading your posts and kicking your butt!

 

[Lizz1985]

Thank you for your replies

The 'just do it' attitude from the peeps on here really is what I need!

Bring it on! Lol x

 

[exiguous]

Hi ya'all just home from a really lovely week's holidays in Portugal. My first every sun holiday - and first time to wear a bikini! Was all rather fun and now after reading back on some of your posts and a massive vegetable shop I can't wait to rip into things again tomorrow, it's championship season very very shortly so in the spirit of the thread - goina be burning up some serious lbs in the next 10 weeks! And the best part is my brilliant OH asked if he could do the plan with me!

In health and ass kicking
Siobh

 

[emma_partington27]

Hi ya'all just home from a really lovely week's holidays in Portugal. My first every sun holiday - and first time to wear a bikini! Was all rather fun and now after reading back on some of your posts and a massive vegetable shop I can't wait to rip into things again tomorrow, it's championship season very very shortly so in the spirit of the thread - goina be burning up some serious lbs in the next 10 weeks! And the best part is my brilliant OH asked if he could do the plan with me!

In health and ass kicking
Siobh

Glad u enjoyed ur holiday sounds like u dont need tough love or an ass kicking as ur on it already

 

[exiguous]

Thanks Emma! Never know when I will need shove out the door but very motivated at the moment

 

[lisajade]

Hi all, hope you've all kept on the straight and narrow

This weekend I have stopped guessing with portion sizes. Even free foods I have weighed and made sure I had the suggested serving size. Boy was I off on some of those! Pasta and beans are free food on my diet, but that doesn't mean I can eat enough to feed a small family hopefully this cut back and another week of boxing will give me a good result!

 

[faery_lights]

Hi all, hope you've all kept on the straight and narrow

This weekend I have stopped guessing with portion sizes. Even free foods I have weighed and made sure I had the suggested serving size. Boy was I off on some of those! Pasta and beans are free food on my diet, but that doesn't mean I can eat enough to feed a small family hopefully this cut back and another week of boxing will give me a good result!

Awesome work Lisa! I am buying digital scales this week so I can measure everything more acurately!

Just weighed in and have lost 1.2lbs this week. Knew it was going to be something like this since I weighed in a bit obsessively over the weekend. About to put the scales in a bag and hide them under my bed until next Monday.

I was hoping for a slightly bigger loss this week- I wanted to be 13.3 something but I'm 13.4 dead. But next week I should be inside 13.2 if I keep doing what I'm doing.

 

[sparty]

morning all. well my weekend didn't end up going to plan. Friday I was good, ate really well but all syn free for the whole day and used my syns on alcohol as planned. I had 2.5 syns over my allowance but wasn't too deflated with that as I had a brilliant night and danced my butt off - i must have burnt at least a few hundred calories off. Saturday I spent the day frantically cleaning and then got ready to go over a friends for take away.

All week I had planned that my takeaway would be within plan - I was going to have pad thai at 5 syns and just stick to that and use my other syns for a glass or 2 of wine. No way was I going to have a curry!!! Yep - you've guessed it, I had curry! I had hit a wall of tiredness and felt distinctly sorry for myself when we were all ordering so I decided to get what I wanted and enjoy myself. What I didn't want to happen was deny myself a nice meal and then end up pigging out on pringles and chocolate later on (which everyone else did!). So I had a chicken panang (18 syns) a little pad thai (5 syns) and some rice (free). Although I went over at the time I felt like I was making the right decision - I stayed away from all of the starters and thai crackers which is an achievement for me and I was pretty pleased with myself.

In the cold light of day I now realise that I should have just had more will power and stuck to my plan. I dont know why I managed so well when I went out for dinner in the week but couldn't manage to do it this time. I stayed on plan yesterday and ate healthy food - lots of fruit and veg! But I feel very grumpy with myself for not sticking to what I had planned.

And its weigh day today but I didn't have time this morning to do it before work so will have to tonight. I am ready to accept the consequences and probably put on this week but Im gutted.

 

[sasser]

Morning all...haven't been around much lately...hope all the tough love is still going strong!? Am off to France for a couple of weeks today. Will be packing away some tough love and inspiration....as I'm sure I will need it!
Will report back early aug. keep it all going

 

[BonnieBooBear]

Hiya everyone, well iv been reading this thread since it started but its the first time iv posted.

Tough love is definitely what i need, i am ex armed forces and the disciplin forced on you suited me well! I left when i had my little girl who is now 2, i have lost 3 stone since i started to try and shift the weight when my LO was 6 months old albeit not at a fast pace!

I want to lose another 3 stone but i am struggling, i put the food in my mouth, i know why i am still the weight i am, i binge eat to deal with my emotions, i play football twice a week in a team in a midlands ladies league, i go to the gym, i swim, i take my girl out and run around, i am not unfit by any means. I can keep up with most of the teenagers on the team, im just big, i eat too much which stops me losing weight but i exercise which still maintains my fitness that i buit up in the forces!? Now i feel stuck, i have that motivation feeling for a week or so, then i have 3 days eating like its the end of the world because im on nights or work was stressful or LO went to bed early so i have some time to myself?! Crazy i know!

I just dont know how to break that cycle, its like mindless eating when it happens, i hardly realise its happening! I know what it feels like to be slimmer, fit and healthy and its great.

I was a fat kid, i was bullied my entire childhood and teenage years but i wasnt unpopular, i had lots of friends and i was liked by teachers, everyone really. I just got bullied from the moment i went to a childminder (that was more physical bullying by her children and their friends) when i started school up until i joined the forces at 17 (by the lads in my group of friends), someone was always picking on me because of my weight.

Now im a grown woman with a child of her own, still the worst insult anyone could possibly hurl at me would be to call me fat (although i know i am) its like a knife and its stays with me like a wound for days after, i still hate walking past groups of kids, like i did when i was a kid myself, in case they say something about my weight! They could call me anything else and i wouldnt care, call me fat and im likely to cry.

I am determined that my LO will not suffer what i have and i am quite strict with what she eats although not so thats its obvious, she has chocolate etc when its appropriate but certainly not all the time.

ANYWAY, i really didnt mean to ramble on for so long but id really like to check in with you guys to try and keep me on track? I am inspired by some of your stories and have copied and pasted my favourite quotes from some of you that really hit home. Like i said, i know what i need to do, i just need a PTI type breathing down my neck to keep me on the straight and narrow! I dont think iv ever told anyone as much as iv just put in my first post here so apologies if its war and peace!!

Good luck guys, ill try and give support and butt kicking where and when i can

Hi Liz, welcome aboard. You clearly have some TL credentials already as you have lost a brilliant amount of weight on your own. Always hard when emotions and eating become intertwined, but you have come to the right place because here, that is NO excuse for shovelling in the grub!

Look forward to hearing about your progress...meanwhile have you read the book called 'Stop Bingeing!' I can't remember who it is written by (it should come up on Amazon if you search) or I can have a look when I get home for you. But it is a fantastic book and really helped me to break the cycle of binging, which all through my teens and certain parts of my 20's I did chronically. I rarely binge now exept on Wednesday nights after WI but that WONT be happening this week, I have promised the TL posse I will be sensible.

 

[BonnieBooBear]

morning all. well my weekend didn't end up going to plan. Friday I was good, ate really well but all syn free for the whole day and used my syns on alcohol as planned. I had 2.5 syns over my allowance but wasn't too deflated with that as I had a brilliant night and danced my butt off - i must have burnt at least a few hundred calories off. Saturday I spent the day frantically cleaning and then got ready to go over a friends for take away.

All week I had planned that my takeaway would be within plan - I was going to have pad thai at 5 syns and just stick to that and use my other syns for a glass or 2 of wine. No way was I going to have a curry!!! Yep - you've guessed it, I had curry! I had hit a wall of tiredness and felt distinctly sorry for myself when we were all ordering so I decided to get what I wanted and enjoy myself. What I didn't want to happen was deny myself a nice meal and then end up pigging out on pringles and chocolate later on (which everyone else did!). So I had a chicken panang (18 syns) a little pad thai (5 syns) and some rice (free). Although I went over at the time I felt like I was making the right decision - I stayed away from all of the starters and thai crackers which is an achievement for me and I was pretty pleased with myself.

In the cold light of day I now realise that I should have just had more will power and stuck to my plan. I dont know why I managed so well when I went out for dinner in the week but couldn't manage to do it this time. I stayed on plan yesterday and ate healthy food - lots of fruit and veg! But I feel very grumpy with myself for not sticking to what I had planned.

And its weigh day today but I didn't have time this morning to do it before work so will have to tonight. I am ready to accept the consequences and probably put on this week but Im gutted.

Oh dear Sparty. A classic example of how a tiny window of weakness (the twenty mins or so it takes to order) can have a big window of misery (when you kick youself this week for not having a loss). "I hit a wall of tiredness?" No excuse, you had so much advance warning of this meal, you should have been able to switch to autopilot, tired or not. Come on, buck up your ideas and if you are tired, have a snooze next time!

(God I feel sooo mean!)

 

[BonnieBooBear]

Awesome work Lisa! I am buying digital scales this week so I can measure everything more acurately!

Just weighed in and have lost 1.2lbs this week. Knew it was going to be something like this since I weighed in a bit obsessively over the weekend. About to put the scales in a bag and hide them under my bed until next Monday.

I was hoping for a slightly bigger loss this week- I wanted to be 13.3 something but I'm 13.4 dead. But next week I should be inside 13.2 if I keep doing what I'm doing.

Well done FL, 1.2 is respectable. And very shortly you will be out of the teens! That is a milestone. Keep it up.

 

[BonnieBooBear]

Well I am back after my long weekend in North Devon. Wow how amazing and needed was that sunshine!?

Had a fabulous time AND completely stayed within plan. Took some homemade syn free sweet potato and spinach curry and pre-cooked rice down for the Friday night, so just reheated that in the camper van - lovely.
Also took some salad I had washed and made at home for lunches and dinner. On the Saturday we did an 8.5 mile hike around the hills of Croyde and had cajun chicken and slimming world chips/salad for tea. Found an amazing spot for Sat night next to a beautiful reservoir and it was so gorgeous in the morning that I woke up at 7.30 and did a 4 mile run around the reservoir with the dog. Then proceeded to have a fat free cooked breakfast in the van and low fat bbq for dinner when we got home. All in all, textbook weekend with loads of physical activity.

Sorry to blow my own trumpet, but this weekend, I rocked it, frankly!

 

[conlou1]

morning all. well my weekend didn't end up going to plan. Friday I was good, ate really well but all syn free for the whole day and used my syns on alcohol as planned. I had 2.5 syns over my allowance but wasn't too deflated with that as I had a brilliant night and danced my butt off - i must have burnt at least a few hundred calories off. Saturday I spent the day frantically cleaning and then got ready to go over a friends for take away.

All week I had planned that my takeaway would be within plan - I was going to have pad thai at 5 syns and just stick to that and use my other syns for a glass or 2 of wine. No way was I going to have a curry!!! Yep - you've guessed it, I had curry! I had hit a wall of tiredness and felt distinctly sorry for myself when we were all ordering so I decided to get what I wanted and enjoy myself. What I didn't want to happen was deny myself a nice meal and then end up pigging out on pringles and chocolate later on (which everyone else did!). So I had a chicken panang (18 syns) a little pad thai (5 syns) and some rice (free). Although I went over at the time I felt like I was making the right decision - I stayed away from all of the starters and thai crackers which is an achievement for me and I was pretty pleased with myself.

In the cold light of day I now realise that I should have just had more will power and stuck to my plan. I dont know why I managed so well when I went out for dinner in the week but couldn't manage to do it this time. I stayed on plan yesterday and ate healthy food - lots of fruit and veg! But I feel very grumpy with myself for not sticking to what I had planned.

And its weigh day today but I didn't have time this morning to do it before work so will have to tonight. I am ready to accept the consequences and probably put on this week but Im gutted.

Was the curry meal all you had all day? Although it was high in syns you may find if you'd barely eaten all day you may well be in your calorie allowance that you need to still lose weight. The body works on cals in and cals burnt off in order to lose weight. It's the basic way it works, Sw,ww and other clubs dress it up and lull you in with free food etc but no food is free, everything has cals and whilst you may be over in syns if your calori intake was still 1500 or less for the day you should be ok. I'm an ex Sw er and I know it dies work but I also know the pit falls and unfortunately eating out is a big one. I combine cc with Sw fir a while before switching to just cc and I feel Sw taught me what foods are low and how to cook healthy meals but cc is teaching me portion control and moderation.

I had a terrible day yesterday. Double cals, but I am going to stick to 1200 cals or less all week and hopefully see a loss next week. Going for a long walk with the kids today too. I've planned my meals for the day and am so far less than 1000. I feel like since my birthday I'm getting out of control a bit. I've gained since then and I need to rein it in big time. I don't Know why my
Motivation has faded, it just has. I'm getting compliments saying I've lost weight and I guess I'm just feeling comfortable with how I look at the minute so
Not feeling that push I was to lose more weight. I do want to lose weight though and need to remind myself why. I really need to get re focused, so going to get my book out and just crack on with it.

 

[faery_lights]

Was the curry meal all you had all day? Although it was high in syns you may find if you'd barely eaten all day you may well be in your calorie allowance that you need to still lose weight. The body works on cals in and cals burnt off in order to lose weight. It's the basic way it works, Sw,ww and other clubs dress it up and lull you in with free food etc but no food is free, everything has cals and whilst you may be over in syns if your calori intake was still 1500 or less for the day you should be ok. I'm an ex Sw er and I know it dies work but I also know the pit falls and unfortunately eating out is a big one. I combine cc with Sw fir a while before switching to just cc and I feel Sw taught me what foods are low and how to cook healthy meals but cc is teaching me portion control and moderation.

I had a terrible day yesterday. Double cals, but I am going to stick to 1200 cals or less all week and hopefully see a loss next week. Going for a long walk with the kids today too. I've planned my meals for the day and am so far less than 1000. I feel like since my birthday I'm getting out of control a bit. I've gained since then and I need to rein it in big time. I don't Know why my
Motivation has faded, it just has. I'm getting compliments saying I've lost weight and I guess I'm just feeling comfortable with how I look at the minute so
Not feeling that push I was to lose more weight. I do want to lose weight though and need to remind myself why. I really need to get re focused, so going to get my book out and just crack on with it.

You are letting yourself relax and keeping your eye off the prize. You know if anyone else here said I was hungover and went over my cals you would give them a nice bit of tough loving!

Maybe go back and read that awesome post you wrote. I found it really inspirational and maybe a little reminder would do it for you! It sounds like you have the food plan sorted, you just need to focus on getting your head back in the game!

You can do it Lou and you know how- you just need to remind yourself wht staying the course will be worth it. If you are getting compliments now, imagine how many more you will get when you get to goal.

Sent from my LG-LU3700 using MiniMins

 

[conlou1]

You are letting yourself relax and keeping your eye off the prize. You know if anyone else here said I was hungover and went over my cals you would give them a nice bit of tough loving!

Maybe go back and read that awesome post you wrote. I found it really inspirational and maybe a little reminder would do it for you! It sounds like you have the food plan sorted, you just need to focus on getting your head back in the game!

You can do it Lou and you know how- you just need to remind yourself wht staying the course will be worth it. If you are getting compliments now, imagine how many more you will get when you get to goal.

Sent from my LG-LU3700 using MiniMins

Yeah I know. The funny thing is I put in what I was eating to my fitness pal while eating it so I knew it was too high but I didn't care. Which I know is bad but I'm just being honest, no excuses just for last night I wanted to eat some crisps and I don't feel guilty today cos I know that this week I will stay focused and it won't be a big deal, but i just don't have that fire in my belly that I had before. Since going through all this health stuff with my daughter and now having to go for scans for myself I just kinda feel like losing weight isn't as important as it was, it's not my priority anymore but I know I need to still stay focused cos I REALLY don't want to put it all back on. Tbh I'd be happy if I could maintain whilst I get my head around everything else then when im feeling more focused I can hit it head on but then my pride kicks in and I feel like I'm giving up. Which I'm not, I'm just struggling I guess. I got weighed today and have actually lost a pound but as they are my dodgy scales it could be wrong haha. I'm going to town today so I'll jump on the boots scales and see what's going on.

 

[sparty]

Bonnie - you are right. It was a feeble excuse and bascially I just felt sorry for myself and jealous of everyone elses yummy curries. I feel that way again today as the late nights over the weekend have caught up on me and I didn't sleep well. But instead of running head first into a binge I am controlling myself today.

Lou - I had fruit for breakfast and a SW bacon, egg and mushroom mini fry up at lunchtime. I didn't eat my healthy extras either. The problem in the curries is the coconut milk - 39 syns per 400ml can!!!! Shocking!!

I have decided to cut my carbs and processed foods down this week in an attempt to detox a bit. I am planning meat/fish and vegetables for dinner every day (jerk chicken kebabs and steak all cooked on the bbq with salad for dinner tonight), fruit for brekkie and salads for lunch. I have brought lots of fruit with me to work to snack on. I think the only processed thing I will end up eating is my healthy extra b (i have alpen light instead of bread/cereal as I like the option of a quick snack if I feel really hungry on the way home from work - I have an hour or so to communte). I have a work 'away day' tomorrow which is the only thing that could catch me out this week - they are providing lunch. But I have decided to bring lots of fruit with me and I am going to pick up a pack of sushi to eat at lunch as its only 1/2 syn and its filling. I have declined the bowling trip afterwards and have planned to go home a bit early and go for a run before dinner.

So all in all I have a plan in general for this week but I need to rediscover my motivation (bit like you Lou - btw did you get new scales??)

 

[slimmersally]

Hey Lou
Why don't you set yourself a temporary target - say an even 10st 10lb or a BMI of 24.5 (whatever, although I from memory you're not a BMI fan!!), then plan to maintain this target until your pain is fixed and you know more about your daughter's health issues. Once you're in a better place you can revise your target down. By setting a target a little lower than it is now you won't be in danger of just giving up and perhaps putting weight back on, but it may help to take the pressure off a little . . .

Food for thought (calorie free!!)

x Sally

 

[conlou1]

Bonnie - you are right. It was a feeble excuse and bascially I just felt sorry for myself and jealous of everyone elses yummy curries. I feel that way again today as the late nights over the weekend have caught up on me and I didn't sleep well. But instead of running head first into a binge I am controlling myself today.

Lou - I had fruit for breakfast and a SW bacon, egg and mushroom mini fry up at lunchtime. I didn't eat my healthy extras either. The problem in the curries is the coconut milk - 39 syns per 400ml can!!!! Shocking!!

I have decided to cut my carbs and processed foods down this week in an attempt to detox a bit. I am planning meat/fish and vegetables for dinner every day (jerk chicken kebabs and steak all cooked on the bbq with salad for dinner tonight), fruit for brekkie and salads for lunch. I have brought lots of fruit with me to work to snack on. I think the only processed thing I will end up eating is my healthy extra b (i have alpen light instead of bread/cereal as I like the option of a quick snack if I feel really hungry on the way home from work - I have an hour or so to communte). I have a work 'away day' tomorrow which is the only thing that could catch me out this week - they are providing lunch. But I have decided to bring lots of fruit with me and I am going to pick up a pack of sushi to eat at lunch as its only 1/2 syn and its filling. I have declined the bowling trip afterwards and have planned to go home a bit early and go for a run before dinner.

So all in all I have a plan in general for this week but I need to rediscover my motivation (bit like you Lou - btw did you get new scales??)

Well done fit being honest. That thing of feeling sorry for yourself is really common and I fall victim (haha) to it now and again too. There's a bit about it in my book. Defo getting it out tonight. I didn't get round to sending them back tbh plus I threw the box away so not sure how to send them back? I'll just keep them but use them as a rough guide if I ever can't get to boots. I'm going today to weigh in. If I'm over 11 I will be really upset but it will be my own fault. I'll report in once I've been today is operation get focused, writing my previous post actually made me realise that the problem is I'm just getting a but down about everything that's going on in my personal life but this isn't an excuse to put weight on....that won't help anyone. Feel free to give me a virtual slap.