Tough love - off topic and chit-chat

Cat Lover Sue said:
Oh that's a bit rotten of him Lou.

Well I am very lucky and Mr Sue is supportive. Because we don't have snacky stuff (unless its fruit) in the house, as a result of him not picking and eating better in the evenings he has lost over 2 stone himself. He isn't following WW though and can have whatever he feels like during the day but he wouldn't dream of pigging out in front of me. It wouldn't even enter his head to do it. He tends to have a couple of more "treaty" items at the weekend and that's just fine. Normally a bag of cookies or some chocolate oatie flapjack things from Morrisons. And he always lets me have a wee bite so I get the taste hit as well. He's a good-un my hubbie. And he gave me £100 when I lost 5 stone so I could buy some more clothes. :)
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Oh it doesn't bother me cos it's upto me if I cheat not him and he isn't nasty just likes to take the pee. He's really supportive majority of the time and I've changed what we eat and he doesn't complain about eating low fat foods and asked me to get him healthier pack up stuff. He's a good egg really he just is a bit childish at times lol. But ultimately it's upto me up I cheat I can't say 'hubby was having a choccie bar and cos I wanted one it's his fault I went and got one, he shouldn't eat the foods I like in front of me' thats not fair on him. He's not on a diet, he does t over eat, he eats when he's hungry and stops when he's full which is why he's slim and I was fat. Lol
 
jezzi999 said:
Can I ask, do you guys have supportive OH's (where applicable)?

It's not so much of an issue for me, as my husband is (sort of!) also doing SW, and when I have bad days like yesterday he stops me from going to the corner shop to buy crap (thank god).

I read so many posts on minimins of people being sabotaged by their partners and family! Of course part of that is allowing yourself to be sabotaged, but some of the stories I read are quite shocking.

Wondering how the TL brigade are finding it. Are partners/friends/family supportive or are we just all so tough we tell them where to stick it when they try and sabotage?
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My OH loves to bake and made a ginormous carrot and ginger cake with loads of thick icing over the weekend. He had a slice with his breakfast, one on our walk for lunch and one heated in the microwave and served with pouring cream last night as we watched Wallander. Ba$tard! And I get the predictable 'but it's got carrots in it!' BS to boot. Plus he keeps it in a see-through glass cake stand in the kitchen.

I am not having any though. I have told him I 'just don't fancy it' and sat down with a mullerlight instead. Feck him and feck his cake!
 
jezzi999 said:
Can I ask, do you guys have supportive OH's (where applicable)?

It's not so much of an issue for me, as my husband is (sort of!) also doing SW, and when I have bad days like yesterday he stops me from going to the corner shop to buy crap (thank god).

I read so many posts on minimins of people being sabotaged by their partners and family! Of course part of that is allowing yourself to be sabotaged, but some of the stories I read are quite shocking.

Wondering how the TL brigade are finding it. Are partners/friends/family supportive or are we just all so tough we tell them where to stick it when they try and sabotage?
Click to expand...

I keep reminding myself that 'nobody can sabotage your diet without your permission...tru dat.
 
my OH is supportive - but she's been on the jazz for years, she is 5'-5" and maybe just under ten stone - before the kids she was a bit bigger (maybe almost 13st??) we used to do takeways/curries/italian and eat out a lot

then she started playing hockey and lost weight, then started running and kept it off. This surprised us both as she was never overly sporty.

She now runs 2x 5k a week and a 10k once a week. She always has a 10k fun run on the calendar every three - four months and every other year runs a half marathon - she's done Bristol/Bath and Cardiff halves so far. 2hrs 13 is the best half and 56 mins is her best 10k

she did get exasperated with me in the past cos I'm "all or nothing" - either I'm on it 100% like a demon or I don't care.

but I've never been like I am now before, I'd just lose a stone, maybe another half a stone, then booze it back on.

But she is proud I think, of what I've done so far, she doesn't let me get away with much - my head has to stay the same size!

the crucial element for me is quitting the booze. Smash that evil habit and you will crack it

My OH LOOOOOVEs her wine, I rarely would ever drink at home even in the bad old days- but let me in the pub and CARNAGE!!

Nowadays I just drive everywhere, I got a couple of friends that can't get their head around me, mostly they are all supportive - I don't want to drink and I am not miserable because of it. It doesn't bother me, so if it bothers anyone else, rough

I have quit the 'erb, I have quit fags, I have quit booze (99%) and I will crack the food. I hope I pretty much have.

Booze for me was nightmare. Now the world looks in focus and I quite like it.... :D

Perspective: friend came over a couple of week back and lifted the cap on a bottle of real ale. The smell of it was too much, I don't think I ever had a problem, but maybe I did.

I had to leave the room. I didn't drink every day or even every week, but the benders were quite spectacular and more than made up for it - by a long way

The only vice I will soon have left is the fire inside to keep me lean for the rest of my life hopefully
 
Sounds like a good partner to have for the journey Rod!

Sent from my LG-LU3700 using MiniMins
 
Rod the Bass said:
my OH is supportive - but she's been on the jazz for years, she is 5'-5" and maybe just under ten stone - before the kids she was a bit bigger (maybe almost 13st??) we used to do takeways/curries/italian and eat out a lot

then she started playing hockey and lost weight, then started running and kept it off. This surprised us both as she was never overly sporty.

She now runs 2x 5k a week and a 10k once a week. She always has a 10k fun run on the calendar every three - four months and every other year runs a half marathon - she's done Bristol/Bath and Cardiff halves so far. 2hrs 13 is the best half and 56 mins is her best 10k

she did get exasperated with me in the past cos I'm "all or nothing" - either I'm on it 100% like a demon or I don't care.

but I've never been like I am now before, I'd just lose a stone, maybe another half a stone, then booze it back on.

But she is proud I think, of what I've done so far, she doesn't let me get away with much - my head has to stay the same size!

the crucial element for me is quitting the booze. Smash that evil habit and you will crack it

My OH LOOOOOVEs her wine, I rarely would ever drink at home even in the bad old days- but let me in the pub and CARNAGE!!

Nowadays I just drive everywhere, I got a couple of friends that can't get their head around me, mostly they are all supportive - I don't want to drink and I am not miserable because of it. It doesn't bother me, so if it bothers anyone else, rough

I have quit the 'erb, I have quit fags, I have quit booze (99%) and I will crack the food. I hope I pretty much have.

Booze for me was nightmare. Now the world looks in focus and I quite like it.... :D

Perspective: friend came over a couple of week back and lifted the cap on a bottle of real ale. The smell of it was too much, I don't think I ever had a problem, but maybe I did.

I had to leave the room. I didn't drink every day or even every week, but the benders were quite spectacular and more than made up for it - by a long way

The only vice I will soon have left is the fire inside to keep me lean for the rest of my life hopefully
Click to expand...

i KNOW drink is my downfall, it always has been. i made a decision when i changed my attitude and diet plan 7 or 8 weeks ago that iof i couldnt go out and stay relatively sober and be in control then i had to ditch it for life. i went out and nailed it, i was in control and still managed to lose weight that week. i havent been really drunk since that night, been tipsy but not drunk to the level i used to be. and like saturday i know when to stop when im not too drunk. i thikn if you can learn to drink in moderation then thats fine. everything in moderation is ok (well not absolutely everything but you know what i mean)

i felt really fed up last night when i went to bed, i felt i had ruined myself through having 3 ungealthy meals, but i realised the day before i did really well under the circumstances, yes i didnt eat what i would at home but i stayed in control and put limits on myself which i stuck to...yesterday i didnt snack, and i only had 3 meals...it wasnt the end of the world...and its what i do after it, i could have just thought oh well thats it now, i cant do any diet im rubbish etc or i could accept that there will be times when i wont stick to the same food every single day and that is totally ok for me, as long as my weight comes down and i dont slip into the binging etc then its ok.

something else dawned on me..i have lost 3 stone 2 pound, yes its been a long time coming off but its off and despite all my messing about i still lost weight, so theres no reason now that im focused i wont lose that last bit. im not an all or nothing person cos i personally think its dangerous to be like that...if you slip off you tend to slip off dramatically, my friend is the same and shes really fed up bless her, i think its good to accept that you dont have to be angelic all of the time and its how you deal with it, how often you do it etc that matters.

theres a difference between, having a night out occassionally and having a few drinks and perhaps eating something you wouldnt normally eat but accepting that youve done this, compensating for it, not making it a habit and being ok with the fact that that one week you may sts or gain and going out 3 or 4 times every week pigging out, then not being able to get on track and then crying at every weigh in and saying you dont understand why youve gained. its being honest with yourself, and also being able to make whichever diet plan your on sustainable for life. we all have to accept that when we reach target we cant go back to how we were before or well just put it back on but we cant live our lives never having things that we do like, thats just silly. its about moderation and acceptance.

one of my best friends is very slim and she says to me, if she wants a pizza she has it, but she automatically cuts down over the following few days, if shes having a drink shell have a decent meal that day but not pig out and just make sure she cuts back again for a few days, through the week she eats really healthy and small portions and then that leaves her room to have a few things she likes if the occasion crops up.

i want to live a normal life, i dont want to be having to put everything i eat into my fitness pal for the rest of my life, i want exercise to be part of my natural routine, i want to find exercise that i enjoy and that becomes part of me, not something that seems like a chore-so im trying lots of different things, my new thing is i want to try running, i want to be able to have a night out without getting that knot of dread in my stomach the day before feeling like ive blown my diet and am going to gain, i want to live day by day just eating when im hubgry, stopping when im full, making good choices automatically and not resenting the fact i cant live off take away, and i think no matter what plan you follow or what foods you eat you have to find a way that works for you and the things yoiu enjoy in your life. lifes too short to spend most of it unhappy, over weight and struggling, i want to be slim but i want maintaining slim to just be part of my life without giving it too much thought and these are the areas im working on at the minute, learning to get that balance right. i need my phone app at the minute while im losing weight so i can see where im going wrong if i gain and dont know why but once i hit target ill be doing it alone, and just trying to figure it out on my own.that actually scares me more than losing weight!
 
conlou1 said:
i KNOW drink is my downfall, it always has been. i made a decision when i changed my attitude and diet plan 7 or 8 weeks ago that iof i couldnt go out and stay relatively sober and be in control then i had to ditch it for life. i went out and nailed it, i was in control and still managed to lose weight that week. i havent been really drunk since that night, been tipsy but not drunk to the level i used to be. and like saturday i know when to stop when im not too drunk. i thikn if you can learn to drink in moderation then thats fine. everything in moderation is ok (well not absolutely everything but you know what i mean)

i felt really fed up last night when i went to bed, i felt i had ruined myself through having 3 ungealthy meals, but i realised the day before i did really well under the circumstances, yes i didnt eat what i would at home but i stayed in control and put limits on myself which i stuck to...yesterday i didnt snack, and i only had 3 meals...it wasnt the end of the world...and its what i do after it, i could have just thought oh well thats it now, i cant do any diet im rubbish etc or i could accept that there will be times when i wont stick to the same food every single day and that is totally ok for me, as long as my weight comes down and i dont slip into the binging etc then its ok.

something else dawned on me..i have lost 3 stone 2 pound, yes its been a long time coming off but its off and despite all my messing about i still lost weight, so theres no reason now that im focused i wont lose that last bit. im not an all or nothing person cos i personally think its dangerous to be like that...if you slip off you tend to slip off dramatically, my friend is the same and shes really fed up bless her, i think its good to accept that you dont have to be angelic all of the time and its how you deal with it, how often you do it etc that matters.

theres a difference between, having a night out occassionally and having a few drinks and perhaps eating something you wouldnt normally eat but accepting that youve done this, compensating for it, not making it a habit and being ok with the fact that that one week you may sts or gain and going out 3 or 4 times every week pigging out, then not being able to get on track and then crying at every weigh in and saying you dont understand why youve gained. its being honest with yourself, and also being able to make whichever diet plan your on sustainable for life. we all have to accept that when we reach target we cant go back to how we were before or well just put it back on but we cant live our lives never having things that we do like, thats just silly. its about moderation and acceptance.

one of my best friends is very slim and she says to me, if she wants a pizza she has it, but she automatically cuts down over the following few days, if shes having a drink shell have a decent meal that day but not pig out and just make sure she cuts back again for a few days, through the week she eats really healthy and small portions and then that leaves her room to have a few things she likes if the occasion crops up.

i want to live a normal life, i dont want to be having to put everything i eat into my fitness pal for the rest of my life, i want exercise to be part of my natural routine, i want to find exercise that i enjoy and that becomes part of me, not something that seems like a chore-so im trying lots of different things, my new thing is i want to try running, i want to be able to have a night out without getting that knot of dread in my stomach the day before feeling like ive blown my diet and am going to gain, i want to live day by day just eating when im hubgry, stopping when im full, making good choices automatically and not resenting the fact i cant live off take away, and i think no matter what plan you follow or what foods you eat you have to find a way that works for you and the things yoiu enjoy in your life. lifes too short to spend most of it unhappy, over weight and struggling, i want to be slim but i want maintaining slim to just be part of my life without giving it too much thought and these are the areas im working on at the minute, learning to get that balance right. i need my phone app at the minute while im losing weight so i can see where im going wrong if i gain and dont know why but once i hit target ill be doing it alone, and just trying to figure it out on my own.that actually scares me more than losing weight!
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I am with you there Lou, I hate to say it but it is when we reach target that the real war begins and we have to work out how on earth to keep it off forever! Personally, I have never lost weight with a club and stayed to the club after target - I have always had the mentality that I have been 'cured' and that is when it all goes wrong, so I am definitely going to stay for at least six months to make sure it is gone forever this time. I think you must have to put certain practices in place, like the on-off rule. This is somethign my thin friend does, she lets herself have every other treat that she wants, not all of them. There are also habits like having a low fat breakfast, or skipping carbs for lunch and things. Gosh hark at me, I am getting a bit ahead of myself, I have another 2 stone to shift yet!!
 
Something I keep repeating to my boyf recently is the old saying 'you are not a labrador, don't reward yourself with food' - for example as he sat stuffing his fecking carrot cake down his gob as we sat on the top of a big hill during our hike at the weekend.

But it did get me to thinking, while the rain is bucketing down outside and I feel thoroughly miserable - it's cold too- what can I give myself to look forward to tonight (monday nights are always a bit crap) as a treat/pickmeup? All my life this has been food related - I would phone OH and get him to bring home 16 M&S chocolate teacakes and stuff down 8of them, or have some comforting stodgy pie mash and baked beans.

I don't want to do that now, so what can I do on this filthy night to feel comforted and rewarded for getting through this crappy day? I am thinking of bringing the duvet down to the sofa and letting myself have a gratuitous TV night (normally I make myself do something constructive while watching TV as otherwise it is such a waste of time). That is a comforting 'treat'. And perhaps a warming vegetable (no-syn) curry with some nice ingredients and a blob of mango chutney? Possibly a footsoak in a tub of warm soapy water... or maybe just go home to bed as soon as I get home (sorry for those with kids!) with a decent book for a couple of hours?

What do you do for comfort when you can't involve food (or booze)?

(keep it clean please!)
 
My treat to myself at the moment is painting my nails. I love it. But I have planned some non food rewaeds for hitting my goals. I am getting a hair cut this week as a special reward and I am going to buy a lovely expensive lipgloss at my next half a stone. I am finding it much mor motivating than giving myself food rewards!

Sent from my LG-LU3700 using MiniMins
 
BonnieBooBear said:
I am with you there Lou, I hate to say it but it is when we reach target that the real war begins and we have to work out how on earth to keep it off forever! Personally, I have never lost weight with a club and stayed to the club after target - I have always had the mentality that I have been 'cured' and that is when it all goes wrong, so I am definitely going to stay for at least six months to make sure it is gone forever this time. I think you must have to put certain practices in place, like the on-off rule. This is somethign my thin friend does, she lets herself have every other treat that she wants, not all of them. There are also habits like having a low fat breakfast, or skipping carbs for lunch and things. Gosh hark at me, I am getting a bit ahead of myself, I have another 2 stone to shift yet!!
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Your not getting ahead of yourself. Your looking forward not back. It's stuff you need to think about, if you don't then your more likely to slip. The slimming group doesn't stop you gaining that has to come from you. Your have to want to remain slim more than you want to go back to your old ways. Your old eating habits never made your happy really did they? Or you would t be paying a slimming club 20 pound a month to help you lose weight, and that's the thing you need to remember, that yes it feels nice to eat cake chocolate and drink wine but it feels nicer to be slim. You don't have to cut out everything you enjoy you just can't have it all the time.

When I was a kid my mum would cook tea and sometimes I didn't like it but I ate it and that was that. I didn't feel deprived cos I didn't enjoy every mouthful I didn't see food like that. That was a behaviour I learnt as I got older and this is why I say. It's only food!
 
I like reading not that I get much chance or a nice bubble bath then give myself a pedicure. I also like to get my dresses out the wardrobe when I've lost a bit of weight and feel how they fit compared to last time. If they're looser and look better if makes me feel really good. Tonight I'm going to do that couch to 5k providing its not terrenchal rain. I'm sorry but I won't run in the rain, no matter what anyone says lol
 
BonnieBooBear said:
I am with you there Lou, I hate to say it but it is when we reach target that the real war begins and we have to work out how on earth to keep it off forever! Personally, I have never lost weight with a club and stayed to the club after target - I have always had the mentality that I have been 'cured' and that is when it all goes wrong, so I am definitely going to stay for at least six months to make sure it is gone forever this time. I think you must have to put certain practices in place, like the on-off rule. This is somethign my thin friend does, she lets herself have every other treat that she wants, not all of them. There are also habits like having a low fat breakfast, or skipping carbs for lunch and things. Gosh hark at me, I am getting a bit ahead of myself, I have another 2 stone to shift yet!!
Click to expand...

you are thinking exactly the right way - if you stop and consider that your goal is a mere 12 weeks away, you should be thinking about it! Damn right!

you think about it now while you are getting down there, some habits, thoughts and choioces will be second nature when you arrive

Planning is everything - I have been plannning my maintenance since getting 1st off! 3 stone ago!

it's never too early and the good news is if you are thinking about it,

1) you now believe your are gonna do it
2) you are very likely to actually do it
3) with Tough Love - we're gonna damn well make you do it

we are ALL gonna haul each other kicking and screaming over that line and then we can hang together and share recipes and cyber high fives ok?

while maintaining in a healthy manner

comfort not involving food?

I'm comfy here at my desk

for leisure I like to go fishing and catch bass, which can be quite uncomfortable - I'm quite simple really!

things I do when I can't do that are

plan bass trips
read about others bass trips
think about my previous bass trips
look at photos of my previous bass trips
consider how to pay off my mortgage and do more bass trips
think how to bring up the subject to my OH and three children that I'm off AGAIN...

it really is unreal that we have consider what to do on 17th july and it could involve a duvet on the sofa!!

but look outside, its hardly surprising is it?

remember Bonnie, no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong choice of clothes! lol
 
I feel lucky as I have found my exercise of choice in kettlebells and more specifically the kettleworx programme. I do this 3 times a week without fail unless I am physically away from home. Its helped me enormously and I plan to continue doing this forever and ever - or until my knees and shoulders give up :)

In terms of treats I have just started getting my nails done and getting a facial. I have never been a girlie girl and rarely wear make up but having a few beauty treats has made me feel better about myself and I do feel with the weight coming off that I just feel more attractive and want to look my best. Beforehand well I wasn't really that bothered. You can't polish a turd was my mantra! How sad is that.

I have also been buying new clothes recently as you all know but that really has been through necessity. What's nice though is that I now have a few colours in the wardrobe rather than black, black and more black. Its been a real pick me up to tell you the truth. :)
 
Cat Lover Sue said:
I feel lucky as I have found my exercise of choice in kettlebells and more specifically the kettleworx programme. I do this 3 times a week without fail unless I am physically away from home. Its helped me enormously and I plan to continue doing this forever and ever - or until my knees and shoulders give up :)

In terms of treats I have just started getting my nails done and getting a facial. I have never been a girlie girl and rarely wear make up but having a few beauty treats has made me feel better about myself and I do feel with the weight coming off that I just feel more attractive and want to look my best. Beforehand well I wasn't really that bothered. You can't polish a turd was my mantra! How sad is that.

I have also been buying new clothes recently as you all know but that really has been through necessity. What's nice though is that I now have a few colours in the wardrobe rather than black, black and more black. Its been a real pick me up to tell you the truth. :)
Click to expand...

I know Sue, I fave always felt like 'what's the point of painting my toenails when people are too busy doing double takes at the size of my arse? I recon a bit of personal grooming is a positive cycle - you feel like you are worthy and deserve to look after yourself and the little things, so it becomes more worth it to shft the weight so that the rest of you looks nice, and in turn when you shift the weight it becomes more worth it to make sure the little things look good too. The hard bit is getting off the starting blocks and getting that cycle going, which we have all done. Go us!

*Sorry Rod, not sure what the male equivalent is. Shaving? Back Sack and Crack? hehehe
 
no I'm not much of a groomer, I didn't shave at all in 2010 or 2011, just clippered me beard down once a week

I have shaved recently, but it's a drag maaaannn, I have the annoying dark, fast growth stubble, smooth at 7am, sandpaper at midday, werewolf at 5pm

I am not into pain, so the back,sack etc, can just stay unruly if it is! I have no reference point!
 
Rod the Bass said:
no I'm not much of a groomer, I didn't shave at all in 2010 or 2011, just clippered me beard down once a week

I have shaved recently, but it's a drag maaaannn, I have the annoying dark, fast growth stubble, smooth at 7am, sandpaper at midday, werewolf at 5pm

I am not into pain, so the back,sack etc, can just stay unruly if it is! I have no reference point!
Click to expand...

My hubby is like that, he's really dark and never shaves it off cos it drives him mad. I'd never seen him without a bit of a goaty til our wedding day and he was clean shaven. Was a shock!!!
 
Long hot bath would be my suggestion. I'm not all that into make up, bubble baths etc on a regulat basis but I do love a face scrub or cleanser. If I'm in the mood for a night to relax etc its always face mask, soak in bath with a book and candles, face scrub, foaming face cleanser than get out, toner and face cream.

I use a brand called Origins which you can get in John Lewis. Affordable luxury in my opinion.

But if that isn't your thing, how about popping to blockbuster and treating yourself to a movie instead of big standard tv?! (stay away from the popcorn!!!!)
 
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