Tracey's healthy yummy lovely journey

Miss_Corset said:
Sorry to hear about the job stress, hun. I can totally appreciate how you feel (see my diary from last summer up to April when I left my old job!!). I think working for a small company makes it much worse because you don't have any of the support or infrastructure that you get in a big company, which just makes little things in your life easier. You end up being responsible for things which aren't anywhere near your job description, or are beyond your control. And there always seems to be a horrible blame culture.

It's great that you have an escape plan - Canada sounds fantastic. We went to Cuba on holiday last year and met lots of Canadians, it really made me want to go and visit. It's such a gorgeous and varied country.

xx
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Thanks for your nice words hun. That is EXACTLY it. Today was one of the worst days ever and tomorrow will be similar. Just like hat you said I am made responsible for things that are not my job at all! Like my sales targets are outrageous and would be so so tough to get even if I just done sales 100% of the time (which I'd hate) so with all the other stuff it's impossible. He would NEVER see it that way. He's one of those boss' that gives you a task to do, makes it sound so casual and as though it will take 10 minutes and it could take two hours.

I wouldn't mind doing all the admin if I didn't then have the pressure from sales. I just am not happy at all :(

We're a tiny office. Most of the time it's just me and my boss. An accountant works part time so she is rarely there. At least with a bigger company there are departments, people have specific jobs, and most of all SYSTEMS!! I can't stress enough how many stupid decisions my boss makes that all fall back on me and I have to clean up the mess and it causes me so much trouble and stress. Again, he would never see it like that. It's a losing battle. An example of something he did was to get an exam corrector to come out to use on the 22nd, yet the exams don't finish till the 25th. Is she a magical corrector who can correct them before they are done? I noticed luckily and pointed it out to him but his response was as though i was annoying him and i had caused some sort of annoyance and issue for him. It gets me so wound up :-( even now I'm getting wound up and I can't help it.

Dreading tomorrow because he's told me he's 'checking' my enquiries and sales etc and I know he'll treat me like crap and criticise everything. I just don't know to acccept it. I am literally dreading it though. I feel bad saying this but literally everything about him gives me the creeps. He is so weird and he practically sits on top if me during these intense conversations. I just hope he gets distracted and forgets which won't happen...

Sigh. Sorry for ranting but I'm really stressed about it all. Keep telling myself it's only another 50 weeks or so!

Thanks hun xxx
 
vintagepockets said:
Are you moving there? Wow that's so exciting! Why Canada? Xxx
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Yep :D that's the plan hun. I'm really starting to get excited about it because I've told me family etc so we actually talk about it. It couldn't come at a better time because OH is at a point where he is at a plateaux in his work. He is there 3 years so he needs a change but like me he can't just be rash and leave. It's not that easy when Ireland is in a huge recession! OH wanted it more than me and has been talking about it since we met more or less. It's only really appealed to me in the past few months when work got bad and it feels like something is 'next' for me but I don't know what it is if that makes sense? I planned to go to college and train to be a teacher but after 5 years of university I am so not ready for another 2 years, and the course is EUR10,000 which is insane. At the sane time I'd love to have a baby but OH isn't quite 'there' yet. He'd love kids but in a couple of years. I'm only 23 but I always thought i would be under 25 having a baby. OH is 28 and I'm 23. So that's not 'next', we're not engaged or anything, and we're both not feeling happy in our jobs, so it really just makes perfect sense right now. It's nice to realise something like that.

And all the more reason to get this weight lost once and for all. I would have a 100% better time if I feel confident in myself.

I'm in my happy place now after writing that :)

Have you guys ever considered doing a year abroad?

Why Canada? Em well most Irish young peoole emigrate to Australia and for some reason that doesn't appeal to me. Canada is now very popular- lots of jobs, great scenery, great culture of food/nice restaurants etc, natural beauty, lots to do, English speaking, great for young people, and I have always been fascinated by America and it's very close to it so lots of opportunity to make trips when we live there :) my best friend moved there in January and OH's best friend moved there last month, to two different parts, but that'll tell you how popular it's become!
 
My dinner was gorgeous. I made a gorgeous marinade which i smoothered the chicken with before i roasted it. It was made with a chopped chilli, the juice of 1 lime, 2 garlic cloves, soy sauce and honey. My dinner was so good that ai couldn't have been bothered taking a photo. I really enjoyed it. Roast chickens are a great and affordable way of getting a lot of meat. So easy to make too!

Saw those special k chocolate chewy bars on special offer for 60c today in Tesco as they go off on Saturday, so I bought them and me and OH shared one. It brought my daily syns to 15. It was a lovely day of food.

I'd to use my healthy extra b tomorrow morning and have french toast so I'm trying to think about lunch ideas. I might bring gnocchi with pesto and a chopped pepper and some mushrooms. I wouldn't need a lot of gnocchi because it's very filling, and I could ass lots of rocket to it which I need to use up. Wonder how high in syns gnocchi is...

It's 10.15pm and i'm in bed so i'll probably be asleep by 11ish which means I won't mind getting up early to cook. I was just exhausted watching tv, too tired to read, and just restless, so bed made sense. I feel like I'm wishing my life away but I really can't wait to finish work tomorrow. It has been/is such a stressful week. I hope I really enjoy the weekend and re-charge the batteries somewhat!

Goodnight all x
 
Oh poppet. My director at my last place was exactly the same. Made my skin crawl. I used to feel sick just knowing he was in the office. All I can say is hang in there and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel that you will soon be out of there. Can you look for something else to tide you over before Canada? I honestly thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown at points - I just had to leave. Plus my boyfriend kept threatening up go down and punch my boss in the face for being such a cretin!! Thinking of you sweety xx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
Aww hun work sounds tough. Could you look for something else that you could do until you leave for Canada? Even just an admin job or a maternity cover role somewhere that isn't "high pressured". The role you're in doesn't seem to be something you're relying on for career development as you want to do something unrelated so there's no reason for you to stay in it until you leave. Obviously don't quit without another job to go to but there can't be much harm in looking elsewhere in the meantime especially as you hate it as much as you do.

Canada sounds exciting and it's great that you already have friends there. And there's plenty of time for babies ;)! Xx
 
Miss_Corset said:
Oh poppet. My director at my last place was exactly the same. Made my skin crawl. I used to feel sick just knowing he was in the office. All I can say is hang in there and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel that you will soon be out of there. Can you look for something else to tide you over before Canada? I honestly thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown at points - I just had to leave. Plus my boyfriend kept threatening up go down and punch my boss in the face for being such a cretin!! Thinking of you sweety xx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
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Wow that sounds awful hun. And did he just have it in for you or was he like that in general? See it's just me so all of the frustration gets taken out on me because I am usually the only person there. I definitely wouldn't leave before Canada. I mean, it gets bad and this was a shitty week and there are many of them but usually I can rise above it and get over it. The absolute stress of finding a job, leaving (having left already in February, the new job not working out and coming BACK to this job in March) and all to just work somewhere for a few months. I would much rather stay here, be semi-miserable a lot of the time but atleast my life outside of work is easily planned, I know what I am earning and I strictly work Mon-Fri 9.15-5.30pm so it makes life nicely structured for me. Also the location suits me a lot. I get to work in half an hour and it's right near where my nanny lives, and also a 15 minute bus to Dublin City Centre. There are definitley positives. I felt a lot better after I vented here. And after all that, he didn't even bother to come in on Friday till 2pm at which point he kept interrupting me when I was trying to do my work getting me to help him with stupid bits that have nothing to do with my responsibilities or sales targets, AND he didn't even check what he told me he would be 'checking on Friday'. All that nervousness for nothing. Oh well! But then he said something beautiful... "I won't be here on Monday and Tuesday" cue happy look on my face and the whole world looking a LOT brighter for the next few days ;)

It's just one of those things though, the recession was the worst thing in that employers get away with so much and where there would have been 4 people doing different jobs, there is now one doing all of them so four times the pressure. That's how I feel anyway.

Brighter things on the horizon for my future, that's for sure :p Thank you hunny, it means a lot xx

vintagepockets said:
Aww hun work sounds tough. Could you look for something else that you could do until you leave for Canada? Even just an admin job or a maternity cover role somewhere that isn't "high pressured". The role you're in doesn't seem to be something you're relying on for career development as you want to do something unrelated so there's no reason for you to stay in it until you leave. Obviously don't quit without another job to go to but there can't be much harm in looking elsewhere in the meantime especially as you hate it as much as you do.

Canada sounds exciting and it's great that you already have friends there. And there's plenty of time for babies ;)! Xx
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Hiya Hun,

You are so right about it not helping my career but then again I might decide to pursue the teaching. That could easily happen, so having over a year working in education will definitely help me somewhat. Having said that I think if Canada wasn't on the cards I would be seriously assessing my options. The thing is that h is such a right pain but there are lots of positives about the job. Regular monthly income that is decent, structured hours and no over-time, the location suits me, my office is in such a way that he can't see me from his so if I need to send a text or print something (for example boarding cards if I am going on holiday) I can do that so easily. Little things like that make a big difference. Like all jobs I have good and bad days but I really believe he is particularly a b******s. He is SO snobby and just the most socially strange person I have ever met. I LOVE different people, unique people, and interesting people, but his differentness is snobby, quite unkind, and just on a different planet sort of stuff. He is so awkward talking about normal everyday things and his social skills are appalling. He can be so imcredibly rude and uncaring and I suppose that's something I find really ugly. I am allergic to those types of people. I hate unkindess of any sort. He is extremely complicated to even describe though. I try by telling OH and my mam specific stories about him but I just know it's not coming across the right way. You'd have to actually witness it because most of the things I really dislike are really subtle things. This week would have been particularly bad though because the accountant is away (she works 4 days a week for 4 hours a day) and usually he speaks to her really rudely so I got enough for both of us.

I'll definitely be OK. It's not quite at the point where I can't handle it, maybe another person would feel differently, I don't know. A huge comfort is knowing it's not forever. To think that in 10 months I could be leaving it all behind is just beautiful. I am taking the positive and enjoying myself outside of work as much as I can.

Thanks for the nice words hun, you are lovely! :)
 
I am alive guys :eek:

Sorry about the lack of posting the past two days. I have been out and about and seem to have struggled to find a few minutes to type when I have been so happy to be away from the computer. I was SO happy to finish work on Friday, it was a beautiful moment. The home-stretch was the worst, I had a crazy busy Friday afternoon.

I met my dad after work on Friday and we spent some time together and visited my grandad in hospital. God love him he really isn't well. It's very sad. My dad has a lot going on between his dad being sick, money worries and now his on-again-off-again girlfriend of 10 years seems to be off again but for good this time. We had a good chat before and after the hospital and it was just a positive thing for our relationship which has been a bit rocky over the years. My parents separated about 10 years ago but there has been a lot of baggage and it hasn't been easy for me and my other four siblings. Things are getting better though. Nights like Friday are a rarity, so I felt good about it. OH made dinner when I got home on Friday and the darling kept it really low in syns as I told him I didn't have any to play with at all.

Then today I had a FAB day. Myself and Peter brought my two brothers (they're 14 and 17) out to the beach for swimming, BBQ and general fun in the sun. It was so brilliant. The weather is unreal and I got absolutely SCORCHED. I look like an absolute lobster right now. We had a great day and then when we were dropping the boys home we hung out at my mam's house for a while and it was lovely to catch up with the family. My brother literally walked in the door 10 minutes after me straight from the airport. Him and his girlfriend were in Turkey. It was lovely catching up and looking at there pictures.

Food-wise I have been so good this weekend. Now, I have gone over my syns both days but I hope it won't affect things too much. I really tried to make good choices and I said 'no' several times. All in all it could have been a totally different story and I could be feeling as though I have 'ruined' everything, but I don't. A few syns over each day won't kill me.

Here are the food diaries..

Friday

Breakfast - This was so lovely - 1 slice of small brown bread made in to french toast, banana, and a drizzle of honey (1)
Lunch - Macaroni pasta with 1 tablespoon of pesto (2) using healthy extra A cheese with peppers, babycorn, and mushrooms. A real case of there being nothing left in the fridge and using up what was left
I also went out for some sunshine at lunch and treated myself to a tangle-twister ice-pop (4.5)
after work when I met my dad I had less than half of a special k chewy bar (2) a skinny lattee (5) an apple and a Golly Bar icecream (4) I know I shouldn't have had this second ice-cream but I really really fancied it when we were walking in the sun talking. I really enjoyed it too.
Dinner - Smoked Cod, brussel sprouts made with smoked bacon and garlic (soooo good) and two small potatoes, gravy (1)
home-made smoothie with lots of berries (1)

HexA - 30g cheese
HexB - 1 slice nimble wholemeal bread (whoops, I didn't have the second part of my HexB)

Syns - 20.5 Not too bad considering I totally forgot that a skinny lattee has syns..

Saturday

Breakfast - 1 slice of brown bread, small (3.5) with bit of coleslaw (2) ham and cheese (HexA) I really wish I hadn't had this. It was not one bit nice and a total waste of syns. We had nothing for breakfast and I got it in the deli when we went to the supermarket. It really wasn't nice. I also had fruit salad made of melon and grapes

Lunch - BBQ. I had 1 homemade burger made with extra lean mince, Hex B wholemeal bun, 1 slice cheese (1.5) and ketchup (1) 2 Mallons sausages (free) with ketchup (1). I resited a second burger, white buns and chocolate!! I also had an apple.

Snack - A 99 ice-cream with a chooclate flake (12). I genuinely thought this would be about 7/8. Apparently it's 12 though :wave_cry: It sent me way over.

Dinner - Still full from BBQ so just had a green tea in my mams and a mug-shot when I got home.

HexA - cheese on the sambo
HexB - wholemeal bun for burger
Syns - 21. I would have been within my syns without that stupid breakfast. Oh well, lesson learned.

So there we have it guys, over by 6/7 both days which really isn't all that bad is it? Both days I know what I would have done differently. On Friday I wouldn't have had the second ice-cream (though I did really enjoy it lol. not that that's an excuse) and today I wouldn't have had that breakfast. Fruit would have been perfect!

Tomorrow should be a good day. We have decided to have a carvery for our dinner so that should use up most of my syns, I'll keep about 10 for that (and I'll avoid the yorkshire pudding) so I'll eat mostly free for the day.

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend xxx
 
Morning Everyone.

Not in the best of form today but hopefully it will pass. Decided yesterday that I really don't think I'll able to make the move to Canada. All of the excitement is gone which is just the crappest feeling ever. To make it worse I feel as though I've robbed the whole experience from OH who was so looking forward to it. He is having a **** day in work, I am feeling depressed about it all, and I just feel crap crap crap. I keep changing my mind and feeling like I've made the wrong choice but then I get scared again and don't want to mess things up by deciding to go and then changing my mind again. I really just wish it was clear and simple. On one hand I was so excited about the experience and the adventure. It felt like a quick fix to get us out of our jobs that we are not happy in, have a new adventure and just have something to look forward to. I just feel a bit raw right now over the whole thing. I need to let it sit with me but right now I feel sown in the dumps about it. It doesn't help that it's Monday and OH isn't having a good day in work. I just want to cuddle him and for someone to tell me what I should do. Uuugh.

Anyway, in terms of good I was very good yesterday. I had a roast for dinner, turkey, no potatoes, lots of veg, bit of stuffing and gravy (10 just to cover the oil/butter) then for HexA I had milk in tea, HexB was 2 slices wholemeal bread, then 2 syns for butter and 1 syn for an icepop. So within my syns for the day.

Weigh-in tonight so hopefully a good result. Just having a mugshot and fruit salad for my lunch.

x
 
newbee89 said:
Morning Everyone.

Not in the best of form today but hopefully it will pass. Decided yesterday that I really don't think I'll able to make the move to Canada. All of the excitement is gone which is just the crappest feeling ever. To make it worse I feel as though I've robbed the whole experience from OH who was so looking forward to it. He is having a **** day in work, I am feeling depressed about it all, and I just feel crap crap crap. I keep changing my mind and feeling like I've made the wrong choice but then I get scared again and don't want to mess things up by deciding to go and then changing my mind again. I really just wish it was clear and simple. On one hand I was so excited about the experience and the adventure. It felt like a quick fix to get us out of our jobs that we are not happy in, have a new adventure and just have something to look forward to. I just feel a bit raw right now over the whole thing. I need to let it sit with me but right now I feel sown in the dumps about it. It doesn't help that it's Monday and OH isn't having a good day in work. I just want to cuddle him and for someone to tell me what I should do. Uuugh.

Anyway, in terms of good I was very good yesterday. I had a roast for dinner, turkey, no potatoes, lots of veg, bit of stuffing and gravy (10 just to cover the oil/butter) then for HexA I had milk in tea, HexB was 2 slices wholemeal bread, then 2 syns for butter and 1 syn for an icepop. So within my syns for the day.

Weigh-in tonight so hopefully a good result. Just having a mugshot and fruit salad for my lunch.

x
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Hi Tracey sorry you feeling shitty right now.
I have travelled most of the world both on my own and others starting with a trip to Canada with my bro at 13 :) loved it anyhow what I learned is home will always be there (I'm African Home being Zimbabwe) so if i totally stuffed up or felt like I couldn't cope I could slink back :) and I'd rather regret something I did than regret doing nothing at all.
I'm sure whatever you decide your other half will be ok with you're in love after all xx
Good luck with weigh in. :) :)
 
Afternoon!

Well done on such an angelic weekend. I wasn't quite so good. Damn that strongbow on a hot day ;-)

Re the move and travelling, go with your gut feeling. Only you two can decide.

I'm very pleased to know that a tangle twister is only 4.5 syns I had one on Sunday as I was melting at work lol .
 
FionaMcd said:
Hi Tracey sorry you feeling shitty right now.
I have travelled most of the world both on my own and others starting with a trip to Canada with my bro at 13 :) loved it anyhow what I learned is home will always be there (I'm African Home being Zimbabwe) so if i totally stuffed up or felt like I couldn't cope I could slink back :) and I'd rather regret something I did than regret doing nothing at all.
I'm sure whatever you decide your other half will be ok with you're in love after all xx
Good luck with weigh in. :) :)
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Applekath said:
Afternoon!

Well done on such an angelic weekend. I wasn't quite so good. Damn that strongbow on a hot day ;-)

Re the move and travelling, go with your gut feeling. Only you two can decide.

I'm very pleased to know that a tangle twister is only 4.5 syns I had one on Sunday as I was melting at work lol .
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Thanks girls. I am feeling a whole lot better right now. I am probably that bit more family orientated than the average person. I'm a bit 'different' if that even makes sense. Never been crazy for a mad social life, happier going for meals and discovering new things. I love holidays but right now I don't feel that living away for a year is something I could do. I am making peace with it and I am lucky that OH is so supportive. We will have many other adventures :)

Isn't it great about a Tangle Twister? It's a proper ice-pop too, feels like a real treat! I found ice-pops in Aldi that were 24 calories, a nice 1 syn treat so happy days!
 
Amazing! Well done you! I need to stick to it for more than just a few days at a time to get such excellent results :)
 
I haven't read your whole post yet but re Canada why make a decision either way right now? My suggestion is both plan to leave your jobs as planned and save a bunch of money in the meantime then go to Canada and travel for a few months. See how it is and if you miss home you can go back at the end of your travels. If you love it and decide to make it permanent then do. It's a massive move and a life changing decision so no wonder you're scared. But at the end of the day life's too short and the world too big and at least you would have given it a try before you decided not too. And really if you hate it what's the worst that could happen. You come home and find a job and a flat that you love, and whilst your doing that I'm sure you could move back in with your family. That's what we did and it was the best 6 months I've ever had with the OH. Plus you have nothing keeping you in Ireland right now so do it before you have commitments that will stop you. Xx
 
Congratulations on the loss that amazing! Xx
 
Just read my post - I mean go travelling whilst you can not necessarily move. I'd struggle to leave my family and you do seem very close to yours. I say go travelling and visit your friends. Home will always be where you left it. Hope you're feeling better xxx
 
vintagepockets said:
I haven't read your whole post yet but re Canada why make a decision either way right now? My suggestion is both plan to leave your jobs as planned and save a bunch of money in the meantime then go to Canada and travel for a few months. See how it is and if you miss home you can go back at the end of your travels. If you love it and decide to make it permanent then do. It's a massive move and a life changing decision so no wonder you're scared. But at the end of the day life's too short and the world too big and at least you would have given it a try before you decided not too. And really if you hate it what's the worst that could happen. You come home and find a job and a flat that you love, and whilst your doing that I'm sure you could move back in with your family. That's what we did and it was the best 6 months I've ever had with the OH. Plus you have nothing keeping you in Ireland right now so do it before you have commitments that will stop you. Xx
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That sounds like great advice to me :)

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
vintagepockets said:
I haven't read your whole post yet but re Canada why make a decision either way right now? My suggestion is both plan to leave your jobs as planned and save a bunch of money in the meantime then go to Canada and travel for a few months. See how it is and if you miss home you can go back at the end of your travels. If you love it and decide to make it permanent then do. It's a massive move and a life changing decision so no wonder you're scared. But at the end of the day life's too short and the world too big and at least you would have given it a try before you decided not too. And really if you hate it what's the worst that could happen. You come home and find a job and a flat that you love, and whilst your doing that I'm sure you could move back in with your family. That's what we did and it was the best 6 months I've ever had with the OH. Plus you have nothing keeping you in Ireland right now so do it before you have commitments that will stop you. Xx
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Thanks hun, I appreciate your advice but unfortunately neither of us are fortunate enough to be able to just sort of feck off and travel for a few months. (You mentioned OH could take the time off and had worked lined up when he got back). Who knows though, maybe that is an option for us. To be honest I know the world is huge and I do plan on seeing as much of it as I can with OH but right now I'm not ready to make a big decision. I'm trying to focus on livingin the moment and planning exciting things for example we want to go to vegas, Peter wants to visit friends in Australia, his sister lives in Dubai, then there is visit Canada possibly, and lots more. Those kinds of things excite me a lot but deep down I know I'm not the travelling kind. I like to see lots of places but I can't see myself packing in a job, OH doing the same, and travelling for a few months. I just don't think it would happen.

How long did you go for? I thought it was 6 weeks not 6 months? I loved the idea of what you and OH did, it was so cool. Thing is, it took me ages to find a full time job and now that I have it I want to take advantage of the mon-fri 9-5 life I have and its a great way to know that we can plan things like weekends away and different adventures. I've just never really been the backpacking 'just travel around' kind of person. I'd love to say I was but I'm not. At the same time, who bloody knows right? I am totally keeping my options open. But for now I'm just finding happiness in the here and now and not looking at the future too much. I rarely live in the present momet so this will be a novelty :)
 
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