Ah feck it anyway! I had a post written and then my boss walked in (I am bold I know) and I deleted it in a panic. Doh!
I am alive and well
For once my lack of posting does not mean I've fallen off the wagon which is great. I ended up having 20 syns on Tuesday and 20 yesterday so today is really a day for trying to balance everything out.
We went to Michael Buble on Tuesday night and it was just amazing! The best part was the I won the tickets in a radio station competition in October, so it cost us nothing! As we went straight from work OH and I needed to grab dinner in town before the show. We opted for a noodle bar and I ordered something that resembled singapore noodles. It was quite greasy but I suppose that's what you get these days. I also had a bite of a spring roll. The rest of the day was good though. Overall I ended up with about 20 syns eaten which is really not that bad considering how bad it could have been. Usually I wouldn't bother even trying to syn a day like that but I think that's the way forward for me, it has to be done.
Yesterdays syns were about 20 too and that was purely due to a silly decision to have a packet of Tayto crisps (10) that I totally impulsively ate because I was upset. It was comfort eating at it's finest and I regretted it straight away. I didn't even enjoy them. The rest of my syns were on two icepops and a pink and white wafer, oh and popcorn in work. A very picky day as you can see. so another day where I had 5 excess syns.
I ended up coming home 'sick' from work yesterday which I NEVER do. I just got so stressed and upset and I honestly couldn't handle being in work, talking to my colleagues (all 1 of them) and customers. I felt really overwhelmed. It was a combination of hating my job and my boss being an absolute nightmare, then being really upset over the OH stuff regarding Canada (that was 90% the reason why I was upset). I said I was sick and went home, which lead to lying on the sofa eating Tayto crisps. Sad right? It didn't make me feel much better apart from a bit of house work I got done. Since then I've made peace with the whole situation and I am trusting things will all work out as they are meant to for us. He really reassured me after work that he would never go without me and that it's me he wants to be with. We spoke about other adventured we will have (the latest is plans to have an American adventure next summer and go to LA and Vegas - how exciting) and I just felt heaps better.
What I've realised lately is that I have become such a negative, depressive, whiney, bossy and NAG of a person and I do not like it. When I met OH I was happy, bubbly, full of life and energy. I've gradually become more and more anxious and a worry wart. I want to get back to the old me. Truth be told, a huge reason I get down is because I am not confident about myself. I hope weightloss will help me regain that confidence. Finding a job and home I love will also help. The big thing is that I am ALWAYS living in the future or the past, I never live in the moment. I want to be more mindful and wake up and smell the roses. 90% of the things I worry about don't happen so I am adopting the Law Of Attraction and focusing on what I do want.
Sorry to rant but as you all probably know this is more than just a food diary forum, and I love that. It's a great outlet and it's important to see the link between being overweight and real life. It's all connected!
Plan for today is to have 5 syns to try and balance things out for the week...
Breakfast - half a HexB portion of Fruit and Fibre (without the fruit as only the flakes came out when I poured, lol) and a big bowl of melon
Snack - banana
Lunch - SW friendly Enchiladas (HexA cheese and 2 syns to cover choritzo and faghita spice mix) with a pear 0% yoghurt and an apple a bit later before Zumba
Snack - Highfi light bar, rocky road one (other half of HexB)
Dinner - Roast chicken, roasted baby potatoes, lots of brocolli and green beans, gravy (2)
So that should be me for the day other than a cup of camomile tea before bed.
I forced myself to go to Zumba last night even though I was down in the dumps and as always I felt GREAT after it. Going again tonight and I'm sure I'll feel the same. The plan for the evening is dinner (about 9pm as we both get in late tonight) then a nice long shower, PJS, and reading my new SW magazine with a cup of camomile tea. Really looking forward to that point in the day.
So happy tomorrow is Friday. Staying in my nanny's tomorrow night but will be on plan of course, then Saturday night I am out for my cousins birthday and again it should be relatively on-plan (apart from wine, ooops). Sunday will be a chill-out day I would imagine.
Below are photos of the Noodle dish I had on Tuesday before the concert, and then Monday night's dinner which was OH's amazing veg and choritzo cassarole served with 2.5 syns of Gnocchi and some HexA cheese. SO GOOD and full of superfree (peppers, courgette, chickpeas, garlic, chopped tomatoes).
