Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
Thank you Kiwi, you are right. Had a really good and kind-to-myself weekend. That helped a lot to put me on track for this new start of the week.
Weight loss again
- Thread starter Alecto_on_LCD
- Start date
Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
This might sounds strange but I want to write a list of the stuff I am very very much looking forward to having once I start upping my calories - either during food weeks or after. More exclamation marks mean how much I miss them and have been thinking about them lately. Food post incoming - not to be read from this point onward by anyone who is staying away from those sort of chats at the moment.
Okay...Here we go...
Lemons!
Beetroot!
Courgettes
Aubergines
Cherry tomatoes!!
Red peppers!!
Garlic and onions!!
Asparagus
Cabbage!!
Spinach!!
Cucumbers!
Mushrooms!!
Peas!
Green beans!!
Avocado
Beans
Salmon/cod/fish in general!
Beef!!
Bacon!!
Eggs!!!
Cheeses!!
Greek style yogurt
Strawberries
(Water)melons!!
Peaches
Apricots
Plums
Blueberries
Apples
Mustard
Soy sauce!
Tomato paste!!
Lol. I think I have my next shopping list. Ahh...writing this felt good!
Okay...Here we go...
Lemons!
Beetroot!
Courgettes
Aubergines
Cherry tomatoes!!
Red peppers!!
Garlic and onions!!
Asparagus
Cabbage!!
Spinach!!
Cucumbers!
Mushrooms!!
Peas!
Green beans!!
Avocado
Beans
Salmon/cod/fish in general!
Beef!!
Bacon!!
Eggs!!!
Cheeses!!
Greek style yogurt
Strawberries
(Water)melons!!
Peaches
Apricots
Plums
Blueberries
Apples
Mustard
Soy sauce!
Tomato paste!!
Lol. I think I have my next shopping list. Ahh...writing this felt good!
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Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
Ha. I'm not even thinking about that. That will be a bit of no go for me for a looong while during maintenance. Its another of those things that I used to binge on vv heavily. Like...sit of the couch watching tv and eating it with a spoonApart from the fruit that list could be mine! I’d have to add Whole Earth peanut butter too though
Roll on another 87 days......
by the time an episode was done half a jar would be gone too. Happy atm that im not missing that!How are you doing, BFS? I've not found a thread of yours? What day are you on? How are you finding it?
Ah forgot to say. If you really miss peanut butter - exante does do a chocolate peanut butter bar. I found it quite nice. Not as the real thing but it works for diet food. I think i saw some from other companies too in Superdrug (i think they were from Lighter life). Not tried them yet, but it's worth a shot, maybe?
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Only half a jar of peanut butter; girl - you’re an amateur 
I can neck a 454g jar of a night. No wonder I got to 140kg 
12 years back I did Cambridge Diet for an entire year and lost 12st. I stayed at the low 10s for about a week and then hovered nearer 11st for a couple of years then it slowly crept up to 13st and I’ve been yoyoying between 11 and 14stones ever since.
Just recently moved to a new home (a total renovation that’s going badly wrong) and I’m using food as my go to compensation tool. I gave up alcohol 20yrs ago along with smoking so all I have now is food. Nothing in my life has ever come close. Spending money I don’t have comes a close second but food of any description is my be all and end all.
Anyway, I’m on day 13 of Slim and Save vlcd, just 3-4 packs a day and I’m amazing myself that I’ve stuck to it! Haven’t got a thread on here but I’m half way through reading yours and am mightily impressed by your tenacity. You’re really doing well.
Thanks for the tip re the peanut bars; to be honest I’d do better without them, frightened they might set me off for a hunt of the real thing. Your partner sounds lovely. Mine is too except he likes big girls so doesn’t mind my wobbly backside in size 18 jeans. I don’t have a set of scales here (in our 21st century slum) so I’m using belt notches, being able to climb the stairs easier and my work suit (next due to be put on this Friday) not making me look like an overstuffed bolster when I wear it as my success markers. My aim is to get into a £5 pair of TK Maxx jeans I last wore in 2010. I weighed in the high 10s then. Being an old lady now (51; eek) weight seems easier to gain and harder to shift and my shape is definitely more middle aged.
Oh how I feel mentally bereft without food. My husband had a gastric sleeve 2 years ago so has a very small capacity for food. I feel ashamed that I probably fed him up to his super obesity by vicariously enjoying food through cooking for him. Luckily my son treats all food with suspicion (I think he was poisoned in a former life
) so doesn’t have my food obsession. Sometimes I wish I’d had the op too but I don’t think I could cope with the conflict of wanting to eat but being physically unable to do so.
Just realised I’ve rambled on and totally hijacked your thread! I’m off to catch up on the rest of yours; onwards and downwards xx
I can neck a 454g jar of a night. No wonder I got to 140kg 12 years back I did Cambridge Diet for an entire year and lost 12st. I stayed at the low 10s for about a week and then hovered nearer 11st for a couple of years then it slowly crept up to 13st and I’ve been yoyoying between 11 and 14stones ever since.
Just recently moved to a new home (a total renovation that’s going badly wrong) and I’m using food as my go to compensation tool. I gave up alcohol 20yrs ago along with smoking so all I have now is food. Nothing in my life has ever come close. Spending money I don’t have comes a close second but food of any description is my be all and end all.
Anyway, I’m on day 13 of Slim and Save vlcd, just 3-4 packs a day and I’m amazing myself that I’ve stuck to it! Haven’t got a thread on here but I’m half way through reading yours and am mightily impressed by your tenacity. You’re really doing well.
Thanks for the tip re the peanut bars; to be honest I’d do better without them, frightened they might set me off for a hunt of the real thing. Your partner sounds lovely. Mine is too except he likes big girls so doesn’t mind my wobbly backside in size 18 jeans. I don’t have a set of scales here (in our 21st century slum) so I’m using belt notches, being able to climb the stairs easier and my work suit (next due to be put on this Friday) not making me look like an overstuffed bolster when I wear it as my success markers. My aim is to get into a £5 pair of TK Maxx jeans I last wore in 2010. I weighed in the high 10s then. Being an old lady now (51; eek) weight seems easier to gain and harder to shift and my shape is definitely more middle aged.
Oh how I feel mentally bereft without food. My husband had a gastric sleeve 2 years ago so has a very small capacity for food. I feel ashamed that I probably fed him up to his super obesity by vicariously enjoying food through cooking for him. Luckily my son treats all food with suspicion (I think he was poisoned in a former life
) so doesn’t have my food obsession. Sometimes I wish I’d had the op too but I don’t think I could cope with the conflict of wanting to eat but being physically unable to do so.Just realised I’ve rambled on and totally hijacked your thread! I’m off to catch up on the rest of yours; onwards and downwards xx
Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
Finally finished the Colour of Magic. Also finishing the day on 100% TS, 8k steps and just over 3l water. Good one.
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Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
Day 37. 69.1kg.
Getting slow. I really need that upcoming food week.
Getting slow. I really need that upcoming food week.
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Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
I know this may screw things up a bit but once i'm done with work today I might grab some real food and a glass of wine. Still mentally pondering that... Need to get quite a few things still finished before I leave work but right now it looks like such a good reward....
Ketoveggie
Full Member
Hey Alecto,
I don't want to step over the line with my reply, so this is just my thoughts, take them on board, or not.
If I posted about doing something which could potentially kick me out of ketosis I hope that someone would step in and say something.
You worked hard to get into Ketosis and it would be a pain to have to go through all the hunger and such again to get back to the point you're at now.
If you are looking for a 'reward' why not treat yourself to a new top in a smaller size or something like that? Reward yourself for choosing to stick to your plan.
If it's not a reward you're looking for but an excuse to go back to old habits then recognise your thoughts for what they are, including the potential consequences and how you may feel tomorrow about the choices you make today.If you do decide with full knowledge and understanding of what you're doing, then do it with a happy heart, enjoy yourself and don't feel bad about it tomorrow. You can always start again.
xpigletville
Silver Member
Personally, I would love a glass of wine, but I'm sure the guilt I would feel from drinking one would ruin the pleasure.
Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
Hey Alecto,
I don't want to step over the line with my reply, so this is just my thoughts, take them on board, or not.
If I posted about doing something which could potentially kick me out of ketosis I hope that someone would step in and say something.
You worked hard to get into Ketosis and it would be a pain to have to go through all the hunger and such again to get back to the point you're at now.
If you are looking for a 'reward' why not treat yourself to a new top in a smaller size or something like that? Reward yourself for choosing to stick to your plan.
If you do decide with full knowledge and understanding of what you're doing, then do it with a happy heart, enjoy yourself and don't feel bad about it tomorrow. You can always start again.
Realised ive got an appointment this evening so had to rush from work coz i had forgotten. Guess it's gonna give me some more time to reflect on what i want to do. I might just go to bed shortly after. Guess it's been one of those days or something...
skydragon
Silver Member
That one glass of wine will be oh so lovely to start with but then it brings a a whole heap of regrets which will last a lot longer than it did to consume it. If tomorrow come around and youre still in ketosis on track and feeling like you passed over the chance on the mini fail, I think you might class that as a bigger treat. No judgement we ve all been there
Jenxx
I love this song and sometimes it helps me stay strong
Jenxx
I love this song and sometimes it helps me stay strong
Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
Day 38. 69kg.
I reached my first milestone.
In the end I gave myself a break last night. I replaced the last exante with some salad high in protein and had a few drinks (not wine or beer). It all put me at 1000ish calories for the day.
I am not feeling guilty. I had a really good time and sticking to it for the remainder of the week does not bother me at all.
My stress regarding upcoming food week had gone off the scales and this break helped me overcome it. Well a bit at least....
Something needs to be said and have to note that I still regard food and boose as a reward after a tiring/stressful/busy day. I'm not sure how I'm going to replace this for myself given that I've got some hell of a months lined up in front of me at work. It's nice and simple now...but come September it will all increase 5-fold. Finding different rewards for oneself when the mental associations with 1 type of reward are so strongly engrained is a difficult one.
Strongly considering now switching onto 800cals before I reach the 25BMI. Despite having had a drink I am not hungover and feel quite revitalised and I think it's due to the meal I had...It might help me re energy, concentration etc for when the s*** hits the fan at work...
I reached my first milestone.
In the end I gave myself a break last night. I replaced the last exante with some salad high in protein and had a few drinks (not wine or beer). It all put me at 1000ish calories for the day.
I am not feeling guilty. I had a really good time and sticking to it for the remainder of the week does not bother me at all.
My stress regarding upcoming food week had gone off the scales and this break helped me overcome it. Well a bit at least....
Something needs to be said and have to note that I still regard food and boose as a reward after a tiring/stressful/busy day. I'm not sure how I'm going to replace this for myself given that I've got some hell of a months lined up in front of me at work. It's nice and simple now...but come September it will all increase 5-fold. Finding different rewards for oneself when the mental associations with 1 type of reward are so strongly engrained is a difficult one.
Strongly considering now switching onto 800cals before I reach the 25BMI. Despite having had a drink I am not hungover and feel quite revitalised and I think it's due to the meal I had...It might help me re energy, concentration etc for when the s*** hits the fan at work...
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Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
Thank you hun xx
Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
Hey KetoHey Alecto,
I don't want to step over the line with my reply, so this is just my thoughts, take them on board, or not.
If I posted about doing something which could potentially kick me out of ketosis I hope that someone would step in and say something.
You worked hard to get into Ketosis and it would be a pain to have to go through all the hunger and such again to get back to the point you're at now.
If you are looking for a 'reward' why not treat yourself to a new top in a smaller size or something like that? Reward yourself for choosing to stick to your plan.
If you do decide with full knowledge and understanding of what you're doing, then do it with a happy heart, enjoy yourself and don't feel bad about it tomorrow. You can always start again.
Not stepping over the line at all. I really appreciated your reply and pondered very carefully.
I gave myself a good 5 hours to think about what I wanted to do before I acted. I did have things but...I do not feel guilty and I had a really good time. And I think it's a good trial for me. Ive been stressed about the food week (amongst other things) for a few days now. I'm happier I just let myself interact with food on my terms and got rid of that anxiety through mere exposure and actually putting some effort into making something healthy from scratch. The simplicity of just doing shakes from powders has made me forget how long it takes (or doesnt) and how to organise normal meals for myself....
Ketoveggie
Full Member
It's a tough path we are all on. We each are fighting our own demons. This is my take on being over weight, it might not resonate with everyone but it's what I feel and it's true for me: I try to keep In mind that each extra pound on my body is a physical symptom of a negative emotion that I tried to quash by eating away the feeling, and that negative emotion is now stored within the fat. So when I lose a pound I am also clearing away that negative emotion buried within that fat and just before it releases from my body it burns bright and can cause me to relive that 'feeling'. So if you look at it like that, then we are actually all finally facing up to emotions which at the time they were occurring we could not do so. It's not surprising that losing weight can be a painful challenge on many levels. You know what I'm saying?
Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
So... I need to write this down for myself, at least in as much as it relates with my food/alcohol intake and any strategies I will be putting in place and thinking about.
Last evening the appointment I had was with my therapist.
I discussed with her rewards and told her how badly I wanted an alcoholic drink and food before I had any of it; we discussed the reward system that I've gotten used to for so long. If anything - all my childhood, all my history is 100% 'do something good - have food'. My parents were lucky to be able to maintain a good weight naturally but it didn't do us, the kids, any favours. The type of foods though and lack of overall control over that in the family did lead to my dad's hypertension (not properly treated/managed by GP) and him passing away prematurely when I was merely 21. The alcohol was something I personally brought in during my life as my family was mostly teetotal.
My work is a bit more chilled than normal at the moment. That's why it was a good plan to start up this diet and behavioural retraining NOW before it goes mad again. As once that happens, well, it goes MAD. All nighters, working throughout the weekend. Literally working from home because I cannot waste 30-40 minutes of travel to the office plus the one hour it would take me to get ready. I had full months of: wake up at 9am, get onto the computer, only get up to go to the loo and back (or a cig at mid-day), carry on until collapsing/falling asleep on the keyboard (that actually happened a few times), or just go to bed whenever (the max was working until 5am, waking up in 4 hours later and carrying on). The good times were when I'd be able to call it a day around 11pm. The only thing to help me actually get to sleep/relax be able to wind down and to silence my brain a bit plus reward myself for 'i've kept it going well today' would've been the alcohol.
I had to keep up this rhythm at one point for about 12 months continuously. Over the past....7 years...(man, since I was 24....) this rhythm has been almost constant with breaks here and there.
For the time being, this sort of rhythm happens OR it's only needed on-off and I've become a bit better at predicting and preventing the build up of stuff - this has progressively made it easier. I am a bit lucky that in my new job now, for the time being, such requests/expectations haven't yet been put upon me. But as I still don't know how my managers react to the 'difficult' moments and it is hard to estimate what will go on before my next big December deadline. I've started working on the current project in January, the intensity will increase in October, and October-December will be boom-boom-boom. And I manage 3 other projects anyway at the same time plus another one potentially pending (and I am bricking it as we may hear back about it any day now and it's a career make-or-break sort of thing!). If the latter project goes through that will be the 4th project I'll need to juggle, the benefit of which is potentially helping me to have a permanent job sooner than when I'm over 45. If I get my December deadline well done that means having a job for another 3 years, so continuing to have stability still. Hence, the stakes are high for my livelihood, and that is why is nerve racking....
Apart from unpredictability, high turnover and continuously-changing-projects/managers etc while on fixed term contracts anyway my job is also ridden with a lot of politics. You need to be super careful who you say what to and how you say it. Offend the wrong person unwillingly and things can turn sour quickly. High turnover means making friends/building some trust and then people (or yourself) having to leave. Made friends with my office mate since January but he will be leaving shortly for another job, which is sad. That's just how it is....
I have meetings with my managers once every 2 weeks and that is the most interaction I have with humans in work... (today I will have another one meeting which is unexpected and I cannot wait!!).
This brings me to the rewards.... yesterday, for the first time in 5 and a half weeks since I've been on this diet I re-entered what I call the 'zone'. It's when I put my had down focus on 1 thing for hours in a row and don't hear or notice much around me. Hunger/bodily pains etc go away. But when I exit this very efficient 'zone' it's a bit hard to get back to 'reality'. The self-control it takes amounts to the one needed for a diet so that resource gets depleted. What will my rewards be going forward? Not sure. But my therapist said - how about the reward of 'you have lost 8 bloomin kilos!', 'you are doing your work while managing this diet', 'you have managed and are managing depression and difficult family/personal relationships AND this diet'. Other rewards I could think of using in a cyclical fashion are: leaving some more calories available to have really nice ingredients in my salads (food again, pff); once I have more energy do some stuff in the garden; simply sleeping. Can't think of much else yet - yesterday before I had the drink and food I made a list of all the stuff I could be doing and found an explanation why I'm not bothered for all of them so more thinking there is needed.
I am good at restricting myself for bits of time. If I do it too much and choose to ignore the other pressures in my life as well as restricting food and other stuff after a while I know that it all blows up. I control-control-control....then boom! let it rip. Hence I would like to acknowledge for myself what is going on:
- I am nervous about food week. It's my partners birthday and I am nervous about the party, cooking some of the foods and the cake, people all getting along, how will I deal with booze etc.
- We have A LOT of house work to do until then and in the coming weeks; moving furniture around, building furniture, moving clothes books food around. Having to cook again, store the food, defrost old fridge, clean it, clean around it and the list goes on. I am monitoring what I will eat and putting together recipes but the idea of having to go to the shop every day or every other day for fresh produce that goes off quickly, having to count each carrot that goes in something, having to cook and measure things for myself AND my partner ... The whole task atm looks like a large and scary mountain (he is double my size. If I'm allowed 200gr of chicken he'd need at least 1kg of that to sustain him; he easily eats 800cals in one sitting and is still hungry...going to the gym and building up more muscle just makes him eat more...). This didn't bother me in the last few months of our relationship but now...we're finally coming out of the 'eat together tonnes' phasr of a budding long term relationship and going to...'okay- what is healthy long term for each of us?'. Where will I find the time to do all these things alongside all else? If I go at an intense rhythm of things I have to do during a whole day - how will I unwind at the end of that day?
- The increase in food intake will mean I need to exercise more - at 800cals a day I need to exercise twice a week on a constant basis. By the time I get to 1500 it will have to be 4 times a week. Together with the painting class I've booked myself on that will leave me at 2 days per week when I can either spend some time on my own or with my partner....not sure how that will work out?!
- I am stressed about my relationships with people and my isolation on top of that crazy schedule I've already got. If all goes wrong....like it did when I got divorced (nothing's wrong in my relationship with my partner, I just can't help thinking back at those times and how it ended up)....I am not sure if I'd be seeing anyone for weeks.... My therapist and I discussed it a lot yesterday and it will be an ongoing thing as I either make time to go join some clubs or something or just keep what I've got at the moment - my lovely partner and seeing some people now and again and only because I get in contact... Still not sure what to do there....
- I am currently working on my citizenship (I am not a British citizen). The HMRC just got back to me with the 1st document I need and they got the document and my name wrong. Another thing that I need to be doing and I am doing it progressively and the upcoming very large expenses related to it....
The mental control required for all these things and planning PLUS the mental control and planning needed for the diet leave me overwhelmed. I need to acknowledge I feel this way and be kind to myself. But what is kindness away from food and booze as a reward at the end of a tiring day? Rome was indeed not built in a day and resolving this latter thing in a way that will help me maintain in the long run will take time. One day I will also have children - if I cannot cope/organise this - how will I deal with it then?
Last evening the appointment I had was with my therapist.
I discussed with her rewards and told her how badly I wanted an alcoholic drink and food before I had any of it; we discussed the reward system that I've gotten used to for so long. If anything - all my childhood, all my history is 100% 'do something good - have food'. My parents were lucky to be able to maintain a good weight naturally but it didn't do us, the kids, any favours. The type of foods though and lack of overall control over that in the family did lead to my dad's hypertension (not properly treated/managed by GP) and him passing away prematurely when I was merely 21. The alcohol was something I personally brought in during my life as my family was mostly teetotal.
My work is a bit more chilled than normal at the moment. That's why it was a good plan to start up this diet and behavioural retraining NOW before it goes mad again. As once that happens, well, it goes MAD. All nighters, working throughout the weekend. Literally working from home because I cannot waste 30-40 minutes of travel to the office plus the one hour it would take me to get ready. I had full months of: wake up at 9am, get onto the computer, only get up to go to the loo and back (or a cig at mid-day), carry on until collapsing/falling asleep on the keyboard (that actually happened a few times), or just go to bed whenever (the max was working until 5am, waking up in 4 hours later and carrying on). The good times were when I'd be able to call it a day around 11pm. The only thing to help me actually get to sleep/relax be able to wind down and to silence my brain a bit plus reward myself for 'i've kept it going well today' would've been the alcohol.
I had to keep up this rhythm at one point for about 12 months continuously. Over the past....7 years...(man, since I was 24....) this rhythm has been almost constant with breaks here and there.
For the time being, this sort of rhythm happens OR it's only needed on-off and I've become a bit better at predicting and preventing the build up of stuff - this has progressively made it easier. I am a bit lucky that in my new job now, for the time being, such requests/expectations haven't yet been put upon me. But as I still don't know how my managers react to the 'difficult' moments and it is hard to estimate what will go on before my next big December deadline. I've started working on the current project in January, the intensity will increase in October, and October-December will be boom-boom-boom. And I manage 3 other projects anyway at the same time plus another one potentially pending (and I am bricking it as we may hear back about it any day now and it's a career make-or-break sort of thing!). If the latter project goes through that will be the 4th project I'll need to juggle, the benefit of which is potentially helping me to have a permanent job sooner than when I'm over 45. If I get my December deadline well done that means having a job for another 3 years, so continuing to have stability still. Hence, the stakes are high for my livelihood, and that is why is nerve racking....
Apart from unpredictability, high turnover and continuously-changing-projects/managers etc while on fixed term contracts anyway my job is also ridden with a lot of politics. You need to be super careful who you say what to and how you say it. Offend the wrong person unwillingly and things can turn sour quickly. High turnover means making friends/building some trust and then people (or yourself) having to leave. Made friends with my office mate since January but he will be leaving shortly for another job, which is sad. That's just how it is....
I have meetings with my managers once every 2 weeks and that is the most interaction I have with humans in work... (today I will have another one meeting which is unexpected and I cannot wait!!).
This brings me to the rewards.... yesterday, for the first time in 5 and a half weeks since I've been on this diet I re-entered what I call the 'zone'. It's when I put my had down focus on 1 thing for hours in a row and don't hear or notice much around me. Hunger/bodily pains etc go away. But when I exit this very efficient 'zone' it's a bit hard to get back to 'reality'. The self-control it takes amounts to the one needed for a diet so that resource gets depleted. What will my rewards be going forward? Not sure. But my therapist said - how about the reward of 'you have lost 8 bloomin kilos!', 'you are doing your work while managing this diet', 'you have managed and are managing depression and difficult family/personal relationships AND this diet'. Other rewards I could think of using in a cyclical fashion are: leaving some more calories available to have really nice ingredients in my salads (food again, pff); once I have more energy do some stuff in the garden; simply sleeping. Can't think of much else yet - yesterday before I had the drink and food I made a list of all the stuff I could be doing and found an explanation why I'm not bothered for all of them so more thinking there is needed.
I am good at restricting myself for bits of time. If I do it too much and choose to ignore the other pressures in my life as well as restricting food and other stuff after a while I know that it all blows up. I control-control-control....then boom! let it rip. Hence I would like to acknowledge for myself what is going on:
- I am nervous about food week. It's my partners birthday and I am nervous about the party, cooking some of the foods and the cake, people all getting along, how will I deal with booze etc.
- We have A LOT of house work to do until then and in the coming weeks; moving furniture around, building furniture, moving clothes books food around. Having to cook again, store the food, defrost old fridge, clean it, clean around it and the list goes on. I am monitoring what I will eat and putting together recipes but the idea of having to go to the shop every day or every other day for fresh produce that goes off quickly, having to count each carrot that goes in something, having to cook and measure things for myself AND my partner ... The whole task atm looks like a large and scary mountain (he is double my size. If I'm allowed 200gr of chicken he'd need at least 1kg of that to sustain him; he easily eats 800cals in one sitting and is still hungry...going to the gym and building up more muscle just makes him eat more...). This didn't bother me in the last few months of our relationship but now...we're finally coming out of the 'eat together tonnes' phasr of a budding long term relationship and going to...'okay- what is healthy long term for each of us?'. Where will I find the time to do all these things alongside all else? If I go at an intense rhythm of things I have to do during a whole day - how will I unwind at the end of that day?
- The increase in food intake will mean I need to exercise more - at 800cals a day I need to exercise twice a week on a constant basis. By the time I get to 1500 it will have to be 4 times a week. Together with the painting class I've booked myself on that will leave me at 2 days per week when I can either spend some time on my own or with my partner....not sure how that will work out?!
- I am stressed about my relationships with people and my isolation on top of that crazy schedule I've already got. If all goes wrong....like it did when I got divorced (nothing's wrong in my relationship with my partner, I just can't help thinking back at those times and how it ended up)....I am not sure if I'd be seeing anyone for weeks.... My therapist and I discussed it a lot yesterday and it will be an ongoing thing as I either make time to go join some clubs or something or just keep what I've got at the moment - my lovely partner and seeing some people now and again and only because I get in contact... Still not sure what to do there....
- I am currently working on my citizenship (I am not a British citizen). The HMRC just got back to me with the 1st document I need and they got the document and my name wrong. Another thing that I need to be doing and I am doing it progressively and the upcoming very large expenses related to it....
The mental control required for all these things and planning PLUS the mental control and planning needed for the diet leave me overwhelmed. I need to acknowledge I feel this way and be kind to myself. But what is kindness away from food and booze as a reward at the end of a tiring day? Rome was indeed not built in a day and resolving this latter thing in a way that will help me maintain in the long run will take time. One day I will also have children - if I cannot cope/organise this - how will I deal with it then?
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Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
I like how you changed your signatureIt's a tough path we are all on. We each are fighting our own demons. This is my take on being over weight, it might not resonate with everyone but it's what I feel and it's true for me: I try to keep In mind that each extra pound on my body is a physical symptom of a negative emotion that I tried to quash by eating away the feeling, and that negative emotion is now stored within the fat. So when I lose a pound I am also clearing away that negative emotion buried within that fat and just before it releases from my body it burns bright and can cause me to relive that 'feeling'. So if you look at it like that, then we are actually all finally facing up to emotions which at the time they were occurring we could not do so. It's not surprising that losing weight can be a painful challenge on many levels. You know what I'm saying?
It is indeed. Losing and maintain a good weight when we got to here via learning to cope with stuff around us through food does make it painful... learning how to put something else in place...and even finding out what that something else that will satisfy you (general 'you') personally, that can be just as tricky....And you're right. It all boils down to dealing with whatever is out there that's making a person run back to the food....
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Alecto_on_LCD
Silver Member
Good TS day with 3l water and 8k steps. On we go.
