Welcome to my world ...
- Thread starter shysarah
- Start date
PandaNate
Silver Member
After seeing photos of me at the party I'm renewed in staying on plan... I'm trying to be productive today, so far i'm doing okay... Although it's hard, you need to try and break the cycle your in atm... go soak up some sun to get some vit d? I think thats a cause of depression sometimes, lack of it. xx
shysarah
Silver Member
Hi folks,
Thanks for your kind messages.
Things are ok I suppose. I chose to go off plan yesterday as the rise in my meds has killed off my appetite to the point when I wanted to eat nothing. However, I am back on plan today. Least I have control over one thing in my life.
Today I have had
B - Alpen light - 3 syns
L - Tuna and sweetcorn sarnie in Morrisons cafe on brown bread - counting bread as hexb, 5 syns for extra
T - Tom and Basil pasta n' sauce, courgettes, tomatoes and babybel light x 3 Hexa + 1 syns xl mayo
S - Peach
Not bad, still got 6 syns left which I shall probably spend on a mini twister or two before bed. Something to cool me down.
Busy one tomorrow. Appointment with nurse at work followed by a session with their counsellor. She isnt employed directly, she is a private one that they pay for. Not really sure how I can articulate anything but at least if I go and see her, no one can say I am not trying.
xx
Thanks for your kind messages.
Things are ok I suppose. I chose to go off plan yesterday as the rise in my meds has killed off my appetite to the point when I wanted to eat nothing. However, I am back on plan today. Least I have control over one thing in my life.
Today I have had
B - Alpen light - 3 syns
L - Tuna and sweetcorn sarnie in Morrisons cafe on brown bread - counting bread as hexb, 5 syns for extra
T - Tom and Basil pasta n' sauce, courgettes, tomatoes and babybel light x 3 Hexa + 1 syns xl mayo
S - Peach
Not bad, still got 6 syns left which I shall probably spend on a mini twister or two before bed. Something to cool me down.
Busy one tomorrow. Appointment with nurse at work followed by a session with their counsellor. She isnt employed directly, she is a private one that they pay for. Not really sure how I can articulate anything but at least if I go and see her, no one can say I am not trying.
xx
shysarah
Silver Member
Hey folks, (Thanks too)
Been a long hard one today.
Food first
L - Ham salad with egg and salad cream - 2 syns
S - 2 alpen lights
T - Omelette, tomato, spring onions, ham, hexA cheese, baked beans, salad cream - 1 syn
S - Ice lolly - 1 syn
Seeing the nurse was ok and the counsellor was good to.
I have a set of things to do before next week to help me so I am going to list them here so I can mark them off as I do them.
1 - Go for a walk, barefoot on the beach and listen to the waves and be peaceful
2 - Meditate regularly even if I feel like it doesnt work
3 - Go out as much as I can - try and be with nature as it grounds me
4 - Focus on positive events
5 - Make a list of things to do everyday and keep a kinda diary of how it goes
There was a lot of other things which I cant discuss here but it was ok. I have another session next wednesday and she thinks I am deffo in need of a break away from work. It is not what I want as I am letting down the team, putting pressure on all the other people and I feel so guilty.
Ahhhhhhhhhh enough for now
xx
Been a long hard one today.
Food first
L - Ham salad with egg and salad cream - 2 syns
S - 2 alpen lights
T - Omelette, tomato, spring onions, ham, hexA cheese, baked beans, salad cream - 1 syn
S - Ice lolly - 1 syn
Seeing the nurse was ok and the counsellor was good to.
I have a set of things to do before next week to help me so I am going to list them here so I can mark them off as I do them.
1 - Go for a walk, barefoot on the beach and listen to the waves and be peaceful
2 - Meditate regularly even if I feel like it doesnt work
3 - Go out as much as I can - try and be with nature as it grounds me
4 - Focus on positive events
5 - Make a list of things to do everyday and keep a kinda diary of how it goes
There was a lot of other things which I cant discuss here but it was ok. I have another session next wednesday and she thinks I am deffo in need of a break away from work. It is not what I want as I am letting down the team, putting pressure on all the other people and I feel so guilty.
Ahhhhhhhhhh enough for now
xx
shysarah
Silver Member
Hey folks,
Had a nice day out with my sis, neice and mum.
Was naughty at lunch and had a chicken mayo baguette but really enjoyed it and hell I had 10 syns left yesterday so with those and my hexb for today that is 16. Plus I have had none of todays syns just yet so it might balance out eh..
So..
Tea will be boiled eggs, ham, hexa cheese and salad with some salad cream or xl mayo.
Oh yeah, and I had a mini milk today which is 1.5syns too..
Mmmm I will be back when I have eaten x
Siggy - the 5 things are very positive but have to sit down and try and sort them out later on
Had a nice day out with my sis, neice and mum.
Was naughty at lunch and had a chicken mayo baguette but really enjoyed it and hell I had 10 syns left yesterday so with those and my hexb for today that is 16. Plus I have had none of todays syns just yet so it might balance out eh..
So..
Tea will be boiled eggs, ham, hexa cheese and salad with some salad cream or xl mayo.
Oh yeah, and I had a mini milk today which is 1.5syns too..
Mmmm I will be back when I have eaten x
Siggy - the 5 things are very positive but have to sit down and try and sort them out later on
shysarah
Silver Member
Me again..
Food update
Had my tea as stated plus 1 syn of xl mayo.
Having an ice lolly and daim bar - 8.5syns too.
That means I have 5.5syns from today, 10 from yesterday and my hexb to cover my bum on the chicken baguette.
I know its a bit tweaky but it should be ok eh x
Food update
Had my tea as stated plus 1 syn of xl mayo.
Having an ice lolly and daim bar - 8.5syns too.
That means I have 5.5syns from today, 10 from yesterday and my hexb to cover my bum on the chicken baguette.
I know its a bit tweaky but it should be ok eh x
PandaNate
Silver Member
I mentioned flexisyns at group and how I could limit my syns the rest of the days so that my trip to Cornwall wasn't so damaging... she looked shocked and said they wasn't flexisyns lol. And they I should give myself say 60-100syns and then get right back on track the next day without limiting my syns at all. Since I'm away 2 days (or 2 and a bit) I'm going to say 50 for each and 20-30 for the last day as we'll be eating on the way back and I won't be able to make it SW friendly.
How are you feeling? I did a night shift last night, it was so hot I felt I had worked out, we finished at 11:30, although can't go before 12 as this is when we close... I walk into the managers office, see a 'provisional' rota with my holiday on and 3 shifts... Two of those shifts I wrote a letter before moving to Rugeley and explained because of my agoraphobia I wouldn't be able to do days in the week. Well someone was sick last week so they robed me into a 12-5 day shift, i managed to get there with no panic but it's not really early morning is it... As it's the summer holidays, next week is 5-12 (thats a close), then 10-5, 10-5... So not only do I have to go out before 9 on both days, I won't be home until 1am on the Monday night :/ It's not a hard thing to do for most people but for me, I'm likely to be chucking up with panic attacks by the morning.
Eugh... I don't know whether to say, look I will try the day shifts for you but I can't do a close, open, especially when I did ask you not to give me opens. But I can't say anything till the rota is put up on the wall and by that time it's already submitted into head office >.< Should I just try it? If push comes to shove and I'm bad, Daniel is able to take me to the train station before work, it's a shorter journey then the bus, more direct.
I'm testing it out Sunday which is my normal 10-5 shift when Daniel takes me to work... to see if I can do it, if I can't, he's still able to take me to work, however he's been asked out on Saturday night and is like I may have to stay at my parents but should be able to get back in time to take you to work... He knows how hard I find it to sleep without him and on a night where I need my sleep to prepare me for this.. :/
I'll let you know what happens. Seems to be the weather for lollies!
How are you feeling? I did a night shift last night, it was so hot I felt I had worked out, we finished at 11:30, although can't go before 12 as this is when we close... I walk into the managers office, see a 'provisional' rota with my holiday on and 3 shifts... Two of those shifts I wrote a letter before moving to Rugeley and explained because of my agoraphobia I wouldn't be able to do days in the week. Well someone was sick last week so they robed me into a 12-5 day shift, i managed to get there with no panic but it's not really early morning is it... As it's the summer holidays, next week is 5-12 (thats a close), then 10-5, 10-5... So not only do I have to go out before 9 on both days, I won't be home until 1am on the Monday night :/ It's not a hard thing to do for most people but for me, I'm likely to be chucking up with panic attacks by the morning.
Eugh... I don't know whether to say, look I will try the day shifts for you but I can't do a close, open, especially when I did ask you not to give me opens. But I can't say anything till the rota is put up on the wall and by that time it's already submitted into head office >.< Should I just try it? If push comes to shove and I'm bad, Daniel is able to take me to the train station before work, it's a shorter journey then the bus, more direct.
I'm testing it out Sunday which is my normal 10-5 shift when Daniel takes me to work... to see if I can do it, if I can't, he's still able to take me to work, however he's been asked out on Saturday night and is like I may have to stay at my parents but should be able to get back in time to take you to work... He knows how hard I find it to sleep without him and on a night where I need my sleep to prepare me for this.. :/
I'll let you know what happens. Seems to be the weather for lollies!
shysarah
Silver Member
Well ladies, gents and diary.
This last 24 hours or so has been one of emotional pain, challenge and complete and utter shock.
Late Thursday night I discovered via facebook that my 'Bf' of nearly two years had also been seeing another woman for 2 yrs.
To say the bottom dropped out my world is an understatement. This is the man who tells me he loves me nearly daily, the man who told me he had to cancel our holiday to Benidorm because of work but actually took his other Gf, the man who told me he was in hospital having an operation but actually was at his Gf's, the man who took my heart, ripped it in two and yesterday still had the gall to tell me it was 'complicated'.
I have contacted her, told her of his lies to me and explained I wish her no ill-will, I have sent her photographs of our conversations etc. She should also know what kind of lying scum he is. I told her and explained it is entirely her choice whether she believes me or not and I truely wish her no harm.
His working in Wales since October is a total lie. He has never worked there. He was never providing emotional support to children, he was never doing anything he told me.
I feel so stupid. I feel for it hook, line and sinker and despite asking him repeatedly and telling him I was doubting him he managed to manipulate me into believing it all.
So this week I have lost roughly 15st of a useless, lying, scum, waster, f**king bas**rding, disgusting, cheating ... and he is no man he is a pathetic little boy!
I have also had Wi and lost a lovely 3lb too. It has not been a normal week by any stretch of the imagination and I have gone from eating nothing to trying to stick to plan back to just eating nothing.
NO MORE...
Onwards and downwards.. I will be back on plan as of tomorrow as tonight I have my cousins bfs birthday bbq. He is a real man.
Adrian was a pathetic little boy
This last 24 hours or so has been one of emotional pain, challenge and complete and utter shock.
Late Thursday night I discovered via facebook that my 'Bf' of nearly two years had also been seeing another woman for 2 yrs.
To say the bottom dropped out my world is an understatement. This is the man who tells me he loves me nearly daily, the man who told me he had to cancel our holiday to Benidorm because of work but actually took his other Gf, the man who told me he was in hospital having an operation but actually was at his Gf's, the man who took my heart, ripped it in two and yesterday still had the gall to tell me it was 'complicated'.
I have contacted her, told her of his lies to me and explained I wish her no ill-will, I have sent her photographs of our conversations etc. She should also know what kind of lying scum he is. I told her and explained it is entirely her choice whether she believes me or not and I truely wish her no harm.
His working in Wales since October is a total lie. He has never worked there. He was never providing emotional support to children, he was never doing anything he told me.
I feel so stupid. I feel for it hook, line and sinker and despite asking him repeatedly and telling him I was doubting him he managed to manipulate me into believing it all.
So this week I have lost roughly 15st of a useless, lying, scum, waster, f**king bas**rding, disgusting, cheating ... and he is no man he is a pathetic little boy!
I have also had Wi and lost a lovely 3lb too. It has not been a normal week by any stretch of the imagination and I have gone from eating nothing to trying to stick to plan back to just eating nothing.
NO MORE...
Onwards and downwards.. I will be back on plan as of tomorrow as tonight I have my cousins bfs birthday bbq. He is a real man.
Adrian was a pathetic little boy
Siggy74
Silver Member
What a *******. What is it with these boys and why do we fall for it! Im really sorry he has done this to you. Onwards all the way Sarah and don't ever look back my lovely, ever. Dont give him the chance to manipulate the situation or your emotions. Stay strong hun. Inbox if you want to talk. Take care x
You don't need a pathetic little boy like him sis, congrats on losing that 15st of useless, lying dirty scum bag and another congrats on the 3lb loss.
Hope u had a fab time at the BBQ, I had my sea breem or whatever it was its was delicious.
Get eating properly though mate it won't do you any good, cook some yummy meals up.
PS get ya self to the seaside for coffee
Hope u had a fab time at the BBQ, I had my sea breem or whatever it was its was delicious.
Get eating properly though mate it won't do you any good, cook some yummy meals up.
PS get ya self to the seaside for coffee
shysarah
Silver Member
Hi all,
Had a few quiet days since finding out about Adrian. I have now passed through the angry stage and entered the emotional one.
My eating is all over the place. I am not on plan, I will go all day on an alpen light or two and then have a big tea. Or I will go silly like I did the other day ending up having six doughnuts for lunch.
I want to get it back under control but it is really difficult right now to find the energy to cook or even prepare a salad. That is my depression no doubt.
I am trying but its hard to focus on much right now x
Had a few quiet days since finding out about Adrian. I have now passed through the angry stage and entered the emotional one.
My eating is all over the place. I am not on plan, I will go all day on an alpen light or two and then have a big tea. Or I will go silly like I did the other day ending up having six doughnuts for lunch.
I want to get it back under control but it is really difficult right now to find the energy to cook or even prepare a salad. That is my depression no doubt.
I am trying but its hard to focus on much right now x
mrsrugball
Full Member
Sarah,
I'm so sorry to hear about all the things going on at the moment :'( With regards to the boy(let's face it, not really a man?!) I think many women here will be able to empathise with this When I was 19, my ex used to borrow money from me... to take another girl out on dates. What a LOSER he was and still is. Urgh.
Anyway, just try and stick to plan as much as possible and (I know that this is not usually what you want to hear at this point in time) but trust us all when we say, you will look back on this as a great thing. Yes, the betrayal will still hurt but my god you will be glad to be rid of someone who is a cheater and liar.
Sending insanely positive thoughts your way! *hugs*
Amanda xx
I'm so sorry to hear about all the things going on at the moment :'( With regards to the boy(let's face it, not really a man?!) I think many women here will be able to empathise with this
When I was 19, my ex used to borrow money from me... to take another girl out on dates. What a LOSER he was and still is. Urgh.Anyway, just try and stick to plan as much as possible and (I know that this is not usually what you want to hear at this point in time) but trust us all when we say, you will look back on this as a great thing. Yes, the betrayal will still hurt but my god you will be glad to be rid of someone who is a cheater and liar.
Sending insanely positive thoughts your way! *hugs*
Amanda xx
Sarah I will cook you sweet and sour chicken at the weekend and it will be fantastic, take one day at a time even one meal at a time. I have done that before and slowly get back on plan, mind you I'm eating everything this week!
You can do it mate you show people that you are the strong person I know and sod everyone else, your most important and most importantly look to the future even if its only a day or two in front ie- us coming at the weekend, plan Tuesday or Thursday out next week and we will get for that picnic!
You can do it mate you show people that you are the strong person I know and sod everyone else, your most important and most importantly look to the future even if its only a day or two in front ie- us coming at the weekend, plan Tuesday or Thursday out next week and we will get for that picnic!
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