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Hi Folks,

Been totally off plan, totally depressed and seriously not in a good place lately.

Cannot seem to get my head back in sw mode and its getting silly now.

Amazingly on saturday I had a wi and had lost 1/4lb. Don't really know how unless it was down to the few days when I didnt really eat anything and they balanced out when I ate lots.

I dunno everything seems such hard work when you are depressed even something as simple as making a salad for lunch seems like hard work, hell even getting out of bed in a morning is hard. It really is horrible I wouldn't wish this depression on anyone.

I am doing what I am told and going out a lot and spending time with people which is lovely and it takes my mind away from the horrible voices in my head for a while but they are still there when I am alone. Nights are the worst time, I have a lot of trouble sleeping and the voices go wild telling me how useless I am, how the world would be better without me in it. It scares me sometimes.

I want to try and get back onto sw.

So at least then I can have one element of my life under control even if nothing else is.

Back on plan tomorrow..!
 
Really sorry I haven't been around too much.

You must be devastated if not for the boy but for those 2 years of memories which you built but have to alter now because of this situation, I've been through that confusion myself. :( Try hard to use it to change your life, you'll never fall for a boy like this again, you'll become a better person and you'll beat this depression, it'll lift eventually and you'll be stronger.
 
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