Isobel1965
Gold Member
I'm so pleased about your 6lbs, darling!!! Very well done!!!!
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Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!
- Thread starter westiegirl
- Start date
westiegirl
Gold Member
Day 4 Thursday 15th March 2007
Very disappointed this morning to discover that my weight has gone back up to 12.10.2. WTF!!!!
Ummmmm, well it might just be the extra protein I ate last night. I've spent 4 days fooling myself into thinking that I'm doing this properly! So what's the problem?
Three packs a day - check
3-4 litres fluid - check
1/2 pt skimmed milk - check
6oz chicken - um well..........
More like 18oz (including mini chicken fillets with thai flavouring and chicken slices with stuffing)
Also a pack of sliced cheese.
Whoops. That's bad isn't it!
Also I haven't had the vegetables that I should.
Um. Ok, I am getting less calories than I would if I was binging but this is just stupid! Need a new mindset (or a rethink of this one!).
OK, lets have a wee think about what's happening. Maybe the process of writing down will be useful again (as it has so many times before!).
Several minutes later......
I am ostriching again! I just went and ate 3 chocolate mousses! Doh, don't wanna think about what is bothering me so eating is my excuse no to! Darn WILL I EVER LEARN!!!
I have had things on my mind all day and I have been mentally writing this post in my head but when it comes to actually writing it I don't want to.
Want to go and make a cuppa, but that is just procrastinating again!
Ok, so let's think. The main thing on my mind is tomorrow night's date with Matt. We are going for a drink and then dancing. First question - to drink or not to drink? I really want to (that thing about feeling normal again) as well as giving me dutch courage. But my worries are that if I drink, will I eat? Can I actually just have a drink or 2 without going OTT. The problem is that my impulse control is so poor, especially when alcohol is added to my system. Same as my brother (as can be seen by the trouble we get into and how we egg each other on!).
Second (and biggest issue) is what the expectations Matt has for me tomorrow night. I have written about this before but I don't know if I'm ready to get nekkid. But you know what (sorry if this offends anyone) but I so want to! My problem is that I am sooooooo embarrassed! There are so many things about my body that make me ashamed and I don't want to expose them. Matt is lovely he's tall and has fantastic eyes that look at me so intensely, but he's still quiet when we talk and I don't know if it is because he is nervous or whether he is boring *lol*. Not worked it out yet. He is very witty and funny on text and also very complimentary, just hasn't come across in person yet. I worry that he only wants me for one thing, and if I "give in" he will drop me like a stone (with disgust most likely when he sees my wobbly bits). Maybe that's my answer! Have a bit of fun and be done with it. It will then prove his worth whether he comes back to me. Now don't get me wrong, any one who is thinking that I am being pressurised here, I'm not (coz I do want him
!) I really want to but I am scared. The thing is that I will never get over my inhibitions if I don't take a chance. I am 35 years old and I'm not a kid, even though I sometimes feel like it!
At this moment in time I am having a dilemma in terms of tomorrow night - do I want to be normal and drink more than I want to be slim? Oh god, here the f*** I go again. I just can't get my head around anything at the moment. Is it me or is it men????
Very disappointed this morning to discover that my weight has gone back up to 12.10.2. WTF!!!!
Ummmmm, well it might just be the extra protein I ate last night. I've spent 4 days fooling myself into thinking that I'm doing this properly! So what's the problem?
Three packs a day - check
3-4 litres fluid - check
1/2 pt skimmed milk - check
6oz chicken - um well..........
More like 18oz (including mini chicken fillets with thai flavouring and chicken slices with stuffing)
Also a pack of sliced cheese.
Whoops. That's bad isn't it!
Also I haven't had the vegetables that I should.
Um. Ok, I am getting less calories than I would if I was binging but this is just stupid! Need a new mindset (or a rethink of this one!).
OK, lets have a wee think about what's happening. Maybe the process of writing down will be useful again (as it has so many times before!).
Several minutes later......
I am ostriching again! I just went and ate 3 chocolate mousses! Doh, don't wanna think about what is bothering me so eating is my excuse no to! Darn WILL I EVER LEARN!!!
I have had things on my mind all day and I have been mentally writing this post in my head but when it comes to actually writing it I don't want to.
Want to go and make a cuppa, but that is just procrastinating again!
Ok, so let's think. The main thing on my mind is tomorrow night's date with Matt. We are going for a drink and then dancing. First question - to drink or not to drink? I really want to (that thing about feeling normal again) as well as giving me dutch courage. But my worries are that if I drink, will I eat? Can I actually just have a drink or 2 without going OTT. The problem is that my impulse control is so poor, especially when alcohol is added to my system. Same as my brother (as can be seen by the trouble we get into and how we egg each other on!).
Second (and biggest issue) is what the expectations Matt has for me tomorrow night. I have written about this before but I don't know if I'm ready to get nekkid. But you know what (sorry if this offends anyone) but I so want to! My problem is that I am sooooooo embarrassed! There are so many things about my body that make me ashamed and I don't want to expose them. Matt is lovely he's tall and has fantastic eyes that look at me so intensely, but he's still quiet when we talk and I don't know if it is because he is nervous or whether he is boring *lol*. Not worked it out yet. He is very witty and funny on text and also very complimentary, just hasn't come across in person yet. I worry that he only wants me for one thing, and if I "give in" he will drop me like a stone (with disgust most likely when he sees my wobbly bits). Maybe that's my answer! Have a bit of fun and be done with it. It will then prove his worth whether he comes back to me. Now don't get me wrong, any one who is thinking that I am being pressurised here, I'm not (coz I do want him
!) I really want to but I am scared. The thing is that I will never get over my inhibitions if I don't take a chance. I am 35 years old and I'm not a kid, even though I sometimes feel like it! At this moment in time I am having a dilemma in terms of tomorrow night - do I want to be normal and drink more than I want to be slim? Oh god, here the f*** I go again. I just can't get my head around anything at the moment. Is it me or is it men????
Isobel1965
Gold Member
OK babes - you want him? Then have him!
Men don't see the wobbly bits that we do - it's a fact! He'll be delighted to get you nekkid - trust me! I KNOW these things!!!!!!!
BUT only jump his bones if you trust him not to feck orf, leaving you feeling used and horrid!
I think he's still got a bit of work to do on that score, personally!
But whatever you do - do it because YOU want to!
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Men don't see the wobbly bits that we do - it's a fact! He'll be delighted to get you nekkid - trust me! I KNOW these things!!!!!!!
BUT only jump his bones if you trust him not to feck orf, leaving you feeling used and horrid!
I think he's still got a bit of work to do on that score, personally!
But whatever you do - do it because YOU want to!
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westiegirl
Gold Member
I know what you are saying. If I want it, then I should have it *lol* and I am worried that he will feck orf, but only a little. I'm the one who's being pursued - if he didn't call me again I would only be a little upset (well a lot because of my pride being hurt, not because I would feel used).
Maybe I just need to use him as my "let's get it over with" man! Sometimes I disgust myself at how shallow I am!
westiegirl
Gold Member
Well, chocolate buttons are my best friends *lol*. Darn I hate you! Just shoving mini bags of the little beggars in my mouth in one go!
I forgot to mention that I was feeling so low at the end of last week that I looked on the LL website to see if any new counsellors had started close to me. It's just the same ones but the closest one gave me a call yesterday. She has some classes starting in the next week and I am considering going back, even though the journey would be about an hour each way. I loved everything about LL, except the price (but even that was manageable). Goddang it, I'm even missing chewy lemon and cardboard nut crunch bars! I'm not sure what to do. The group seems quite mixed - some developers and 1 foundation starter who can't make it to any other class. I really want that group thing again. I'm drifting on my own, taking 2 steps back for each one forward. I am not ready to join a WW group coz I can't cope with the food aspect at the moment. If I do LL I will also be able to do the management course as well. Gosh, I just don't know what to do!
I forgot to mention that I was feeling so low at the end of last week that I looked on the LL website to see if any new counsellors had started close to me. It's just the same ones but the closest one gave me a call yesterday. She has some classes starting in the next week and I am considering going back, even though the journey would be about an hour each way. I loved everything about LL, except the price (but even that was manageable). Goddang it, I'm even missing chewy lemon and cardboard nut crunch bars! I'm not sure what to do. The group seems quite mixed - some developers and 1 foundation starter who can't make it to any other class. I really want that group thing again. I'm drifting on my own, taking 2 steps back for each one forward. I am not ready to join a WW group coz I can't cope with the food aspect at the moment. If I do LL I will also be able to do the management course as well. Gosh, I just don't know what to do!
Isobel1965
Gold Member
OK remind me NEVER to divulge my past lovelife to you! LMTO!!!!!
Shallow? NAH!!!
You're a redblooded woman and it's a well known fact that the only way to get over one man is to get under another! lol
Hold your head up high, no matter what happens. Sex is not a crime (if you do it right - teeheee!)
I really hope you don't mind me saying this, darling but I honestly think you need to give one diet plan a chance before you think about changing to another.
I know the temptation is to think - oh heck, this one ain't working - what will? But if you keep chopping and changing, then your body won't know which way up it is. Do you get what I mean? Not being horrid, honestly, luv, just think you'd do best to stick to one for a month and then assess how things are going from there. You've had so much change in your life recently, it's no wonder that you're feeling unsettled about your diet - I know.
Have a good night out tonight and I expect FULL details in the morning hehehehehehhe!
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westiegirl
Gold Member
I know what you are saying but I have struggled so much since I left my LL group last summer. I did so well on LL and have been unhappy with everything I've done since. I'm "doing" CD at the moment but I really miss the group thing - same diet just a different approach I know. I do CD for a bit then lose focus and fall off the wagon (usually spectacularly sp?) and binge. Then I decided I've had enough, I'm gonna join ww or something and don't commit to it totally. LL is the only thing I committed to totally and that worked. I would have still been doing it with the support of my group if circumstances hadn't taken over. I just want to feel that same sense of belonging, motivation and achievement that I did back then. I have some regrets about leaving Scotland (including leaving some really good friends) but the fact that I couldn't finish LL is one of my biggest. I'm not that good on my own!
Date is tomorrow night, not tonight - Friday night dancing and...........
I'll update ya on Saturday!
Isobel1965
Gold Member
You've got to do what is right for you, darling and if the group thing is what works for you, then go for it. It is harder second time around though, isn't it? We all know that - to our cost!!!!
I hope you find that the new LL group really works for you - then you'll feel more in control and settled!
Soz I got the date date wrong - will look forward to hearing all about it on Saturday then - I lose track of days! lol
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I hope you find that the new LL group really works for you - then you'll feel more in control and settled!
Soz I got the date date wrong - will look forward to hearing all about it on Saturday then - I lose track of days! lol
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Hi hun!
Just really quick message to say that I can totally understand where you are coming from with the LL group thing..... I struggled like mad after switching from LL to CD - even though I did manage to loose a further two stone.... however, I've now regained 3 of the 6 I lost and if I could afford LL then I'd be back there like a shot.... I really found the group helped - I didn't really 'get' the CBT - though sub-consiously I think it probably did help but I found the 'camaraderie (sp?)' of the group really helped to keep me focused (bit of a competitive how much you lost this week type thingy).....
Is there anyway you could maybe start from 'scratch' in a beginners group - have you enough to loose ? Might be good to go completely 'back to basics' and re-learn what you learnt before?
Anyway, you know whatever you decide we are all here to support you.......
Have a good night tomorrow hun.... again whatever you decide...... I'd have a few drinks (I'd have to for the nerves) - but not too many that you don't remember anything.....
Looking forward to seeing you next weekend - I'm sure we'll find you another admirer next weekend - and the majority of the men were dancing too last time..... bonus......
Lots of love
dawntinkler34
Water Baby
Ah hon,
big hugs((())) I too know what you mean about the group thing but and this is a big but. I think we need to learn to control ourselves without the help of twelve others once a week. I know it's good to be with other who are going through the same thing but i think your in danger of staying on the same treadmill forever. Does that make any sense? I have struggled since swopping from LL but recently have talked to myself and realised that ultimately i got myself fat and i will get myself slim. I choose whether to eat or not, I choose whether to listen to my negative thoughts.
If you really need to go back and you have the money then go for it (i know contradicting everything i just wrote?!!? doh)
Look how far you have come, you know you can do it you are strong.
Good luck.
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:vibes: :vibes: :vibes:
big hugs((())) I too know what you mean about the group thing but and this is a big but. I think we need to learn to control ourselves without the help of twelve others once a week. I know it's good to be with other who are going through the same thing but i think your in danger of staying on the same treadmill forever. Does that make any sense? I have struggled since swopping from LL but recently have talked to myself and realised that ultimately i got myself fat and i will get myself slim. I choose whether to eat or not, I choose whether to listen to my negative thoughts.
If you really need to go back and you have the money then go for it (i know contradicting everything i just wrote?!!? doh)
Look how far you have come, you know you can do it you are strong.
Good luck.
xxxx
:vibes: :vibes: :vibes:
seriously going to crack up.... had a real long post done and then went to send it and it vanished ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
anyway in short... prob for the best ha ha
i think dawntwinkler has a point in that you need to get control yourself and you own eating habits and i defo think that the counselling you are doing at the moment will help you... maybe combining LL with this counselling would work???
Enjoy your date with Matt hun... he seems really keen on you otherwise he would be just asking ya to meet him for an hour for a quickie whereas you guys are going out for the night dancing and having fun... and then maybe some hanky panky ya lucky git!!! he won't even notice any wobbly bits... far too interested in his own performance me thinks!!!!
Have a lovely weekend hun
love
anyway in short... prob for the best ha ha
i think dawntwinkler has a point in that you need to get control yourself and you own eating habits and i defo think that the counselling you are doing at the moment will help you... maybe combining LL with this counselling would work???
Enjoy your date with Matt hun... he seems really keen on you otherwise he would be just asking ya to meet him for an hour for a quickie whereas you guys are going out for the night dancing and having fun... and then maybe some hanky panky ya lucky git!!! he won't even notice any wobbly bits... far too interested in his own performance me thinks!!!!
Have a lovely weekend hun
love
westiegirl
Gold Member
Day 5 - Well Sort of!
Well I'm sneaking an afternoon off work. Had my hair done - a straight perm. Work think I've gone to the doctors! What a liar! My hair is now poker straight and long may it continue!!!
Last night I went to bed quite early and was not surprised to receive a text from Matt after 10.30pm. He wanted to tell me about his evening (footie related btw lol). His texts got a bit flirty, which was ok, but when I asked where and when for our date he texted back to say he couldn't meet me till 10.15pm because he was playing footie. Well I was a bit peeved - thinking, as Gen so aptly put it in the last post, he only wants to meet for a quickie!
Well enough is enough and I decided it was time for a text to ask him what his game was. I sent him a text along the lines that I sometimes feel he only wants me for one thing is not interested in knowing me. I told him I like him but I wasn't gonna sleep with him on Friday. He only seems to text me late at night when he is horny (not strictly true but I was on a roll hey!). I said I wasn't p*ssed off but just wanted honesty about what he wanted from me. Said 10.15pm was late and if he wanted to rearrange then fair enough. I told him I was going to sleep and to let me know tomorrow if he wanted to see me.
Got a text back about half an hour later saying he was sorry if his text messages were too much and that he did like me because I was funny and intelligent and he enjoyed my company. He was happy not to rush things and to be honest he liked and admired that. He said not sleeping together was fine and he would still like to see me tonight. If I didn't he said he would understand and sorry if he made me uncomfortable or upset me.
Didn't reply until this morning - let him stew!
Ummmmm, well, what do I think? TBH I'm not sure at all! We've been texting today and have agreed to go out anyway but it is still not till 10.15pm. At the moment I have a massive headache (think it's from the chemicals at the hairdressers) and I'm tired. Not sure whether to bail! I do want to see him but I'm not sure I am that @rsed *lol*. I do fancy him and I am curious to see how the night goes in terms of conversation etc and see if he is more outgoing. The late hour is not such a big problem in that I am a night owl (remember I didn't sleep at all last saturday night) but I don't know if he is still taking p*ss!!!
Perhaps I need a little sit down and a snooze and decide later. After all I don't need to do my hair do I?, just chuck some clothes and make up on!
Well I'm sneaking an afternoon off work. Had my hair done - a straight perm. Work think I've gone to the doctors
! What a liar! My hair is now poker straight and long may it continue!!!Last night I went to bed quite early and was not surprised to receive a text from Matt after 10.30pm. He wanted to tell me about his evening (footie related btw lol). His texts got a bit flirty, which was ok, but when I asked where and when for our date he texted back to say he couldn't meet me till 10.15pm because he was playing footie. Well I was a bit peeved - thinking, as Gen so aptly put it in the last post, he only wants to meet for a quickie!
Well enough is enough and I decided it was time for a text to ask him what his game was. I sent him a text along the lines that I sometimes feel he only wants me for one thing is not interested in knowing me. I told him I like him but I wasn't gonna sleep with him on Friday. He only seems to text me late at night when he is horny (not strictly true but I was on a roll hey!). I said I wasn't p*ssed off but just wanted honesty about what he wanted from me. Said 10.15pm was late and if he wanted to rearrange then fair enough. I told him I was going to sleep and to let me know tomorrow if he wanted to see me.
Got a text back about half an hour later saying he was sorry if his text messages were too much and that he did like me because I was funny and intelligent and he enjoyed my company. He was happy not to rush things and to be honest he liked and admired that. He said not sleeping together was fine and he would still like to see me tonight. If I didn't he said he would understand and sorry if he made me uncomfortable or upset me.
Didn't reply until this morning - let him stew
!Ummmmm, well, what do I think? TBH I'm not sure at all! We've been texting today and have agreed to go out anyway but it is still not till 10.15pm. At the moment I have a massive headache (think it's from the chemicals at the hairdressers) and I'm tired. Not sure whether to bail! I do want to see him but I'm not sure I am that @rsed *lol*. I do fancy him and I am curious to see how the night goes in terms of conversation etc and see if he is more outgoing. The late hour is not such a big problem in that I am a night owl (remember I didn't sleep at all last saturday night) but I don't know if he is still taking p*ss!!!
Perhaps I need a little sit down and a snooze and decide later. After all I don't need to do my hair do I?, just chuck some clothes and make up on!
Karen1972
Gold Member
Ah Sarah go out and enjoy yourself girl.... the ball is in your court in terms of how far you go with him... why not go out with your brother for a drink before hand? Or have a drink with your mam and dad to get yourself in the mood.... did you decided to drink wine after?
westiegirl
Gold Member
Hi hun!
Just really quick message to say that I can totally understand where you are coming from with the LL group thing..... I struggled like mad after switching from LL to CD - even though I did manage to loose a further two stone.... however, I've now regained 3 of the 6 I lost and if I could afford LL then I'd be back there like a shot.... I really found the group helped - I didn't really 'get' the CBT - though sub-consiously I think it probably did help but I found the 'camaraderie (sp?)' of the group really helped to keep me focused (bit of a competitive how much you lost this week type thingy).....
I enjoyed the CBT thing, I was super swot girl and always did my home work and completed my thought records! Should really have kept them going after I moved, but too much other stuff on my mind.
Is there anyway you could maybe start from 'scratch' in a beginners group - have you enough to loose ? Might be good to go completely 'back to basics' and re-learn what you learnt before?
That's what I'd like to do, but I'm not sure if that is type of group she is running. TBH I don't think it will matter - any group is better than none.
Anyway, you know whatever you decide we are all here to support you.......
Have a good night tomorrow hun.... again whatever you decide...... I'd have a few drinks (I'd have to for the nerves) - but not too many that you don't remember anything.....
I'm definitely gonna go down the dutch courage route.
Looking forward to seeing you next weekend - I'm sure we'll find you another admirer next weekend - and the majority of the men were dancing too last time..... bonus......
Hope you are bringing your dancing shoes with ya next weekend, coz you and I have a date on the dance floor. Is your Sarah coming too?
Lots of love
Thanks Dawn, I know what you are saying but I've been trying to go it alone since October, with no success. Ok in the scheme of things I have only put on about 2 stone of the 6 I lost and I have been the same since just before Christmas but I really want to lose this bit and then move on to the LL management programme. It was very structured and I only just started it before cocking it up when I moved. I believe it's changed slightly since then but it's better.
westiegirl
Gold Member
Hi hun, I a beginning to perk up a bit. I have just had an hour long snooze and when I woke up I still felt really rubbish but I glass of pepsi max cino (my absolute favourite soft drink at the moment) and I'm starting to come round. Still got a couple of hours so I can still chill for an hour and have an hour to spare to get ready. My brother is working till 8pm so I doubt he will want to go out but I'll see if he comes round when he's finished. Will definitely be drinking coz I've eaten again today. Had a couple of pitta breads with lemon curd (don't ask about the combination!) and some cheese when I got home. I was absolutely starving in the hairdressers. I'd had 3 packs by then but methinks I'm no longer in ketosis after the buttons last night. I think in my head today I've gone into the "I'm going out tonight" mode and therefore I'm going to eat anyway! I do this all the time. What a fool. If I decide to go back to LL I will need a serious rethink because moneywise it is too expensive to muck about with! I guess I'm really an all or nothing type of girl!
Hi Sarah!
Yup, 'my Sarah' is coming too along with her mate Jo-Ann who is a great girl - good laugh too.....
I'll have me dancing boots on - if you've read my thread yesterday you'll know I've had some funky silver boots so I will be giving them their first run out....LOL - I'll probably be crippled by about 10pm cos they are higher than I normally wear... I am debating putting my 'comfy' boots in a carrier and putting them in the cloakroom.....LOL!!!
Anyway, have a fab weekend.... enjoy tonight whatever happens..... be interested to hear about the 'straight perm' - I straighten my hair daily to within an inch of its life but one bit of damp or rain and I look like Crystal Tips minus Alisatiar.....
This time next week I'll by so hyped up about the meet..... can't wait.... now if I could only get that stone off that I said I would...... :sigh:
Lots of love
Yup, 'my Sarah' is coming too along with her mate Jo-Ann who is a great girl - good laugh too.....
I'll have me dancing boots on - if you've read my thread yesterday you'll know I've had some funky silver boots so I will be giving them their first run out....LOL - I'll probably be crippled by about 10pm cos they are higher than I normally wear...
I am debating putting my 'comfy' boots in a carrier and putting them in the cloakroom.....LOL!!!Anyway, have a fab weekend.... enjoy tonight whatever happens..... be interested to hear about the 'straight perm' - I straighten my hair daily to within an inch of its life but one bit of damp or rain and I look like Crystal Tips minus Alisatiar.....
This time next week I'll by so hyped up about the meet..... can't wait.... now if I could only get that stone off that I said I would......
:sigh: Lots of love
cazmaz_irl
Banned
I know I'm a day, well a nite early but just popping past to say.....
Happy St. Patricks Day
Shona St. Padraigs Duit
Happy St. Patricks Day
Shona St. Padraigs Duit
westiegirl
Gold Member
Mr Pirate - Walking the Plank???
This is the life, Saturday afternoon in front of the TV watching 6 Nations rugby! And man do I need it.
Too tired to dance, never!!
Called my brother at 8pm last night to see what he was up to. His mate was coming round and they were possibly going to the pub. Count me in I said so I quickly got ready and grabbed my bottle of JD and headed to my brothers flat. We went to the pub about 9.30pm and I texted Matt to tell him where I was and to meet me inside. Matt was 15 minutes late so I was glad I was with my bro and TBH I was trollied before he even turned up!
It was nice chatting with Matt and he was definitely more outgoing but was still quite quiet but we did chat. The old dutch courage helped and I told him that we would only be dancing.
Managed to convince my brother and his mate to come to the nightclub with us too. They are both wicked dancers (original 90s club goers) and I know Matt isn't really too fussed about dancing really - just going to please me. The club wasn't that busy so we had a good amount of dance floor. I was my usual wild dancing queen self, quite possibly helped by being egged on by my brother (told you we are the worst when we get together!) and his mate. Matt pretty much stayed on the edge of the dance floor watching me dance! When he did venture onto the floor he was a bit of a dad dancer *lol*.
Stayed until we got chucked out at closing time - 3.30am. I was so hyper I didn't want to stop dancing but ho-hum. Nearly got into a fight with a girl over a taxi, tbh my fault entirely - I queue jumped. I'm usually so polite but hell this was my taxi and luckily being with 3 blokes meant she backed down! Must be something in the Welsh air (or maybe just being with my bro) that brings out the rotten side of me!
Taxi dropped us at the kebab shop and me and my bro got pizza and his mate got chips and cheese. Walked up the street to my house. My bro and his mate went round the back to his flat and I stayed at the gate to say goodnight to Matt. Only I was so drunk I didn't want to say goodnight and brought him inside!
So Isobel, I wanted him and I had him *lol* and TBH it wasn't that good. I think he was good but he just wasn't doing it for me. Funny how my feelings have changed. As I've said before, be careful what you wish for! Chucked him out at 7.30am, before my mum and dad got up because you have to walk through their flat to get out of mine. Was tempted to chuck him out the back window but I'm on the 2nd floor! Only joking, you can actually get out the back window quite easily because I've got a sloping roof to the flat roof of the first floor and then just a small drop to the flat roof of my brother's ground floor flat. My brother is being persuaded to build me my own exit so I can have some privacy!
Anyway, I am meant to be seeing Matt on Tuesday night to go to the cinema and I'm not sure if I want to keep seeing him. Call me shallow but I spent half the night last night eyeing up other guys in the pub and club. There were some gorgeous specimens out there! That's not a good sign as far as relationship with Matt is concerned is it!
So what do I do? He's still really keen and has been texting me all day and I haven't replied yet. I think I still want to just have some fun! Not be tied to anyone - been there and done that for so many years. So what do I tell him? I'm not used to doing this. Don't know whether to go to the cinema on Tuesday or not and take it from there. Good thing is that he is in Dublin next weekend and I'm in Birmingham so I'll get a bit of a break! Lol what am I like, talking about breaks and I've only been out with him 4 times. I think every word I type it is becoming more and more clear that I am not into him isn't it. Even I can see it!
This is the life, Saturday afternoon in front of the TV watching 6 Nations rugby! And man do I need it.
Too tired to dance, never!!
Called my brother at 8pm last night to see what he was up to. His mate was coming round and they were possibly going to the pub. Count me in I said so I quickly got ready and grabbed my bottle of JD and headed to my brothers flat. We went to the pub about 9.30pm and I texted Matt to tell him where I was and to meet me inside. Matt was 15 minutes late so I was glad I was with my bro and TBH I was trollied before he even turned up!
It was nice chatting with Matt and he was definitely more outgoing but was still quite quiet but we did chat. The old dutch courage helped and I told him that we would only be dancing.
Managed to convince my brother and his mate to come to the nightclub with us too. They are both wicked dancers (original 90s club goers) and I know Matt isn't really too fussed about dancing really - just going to please me. The club wasn't that busy so we had a good amount of dance floor. I was my usual wild dancing queen self, quite possibly helped by being egged on by my brother (told you we are the worst when we get together!) and his mate. Matt pretty much stayed on the edge of the dance floor watching me dance! When he did venture onto the floor he was a bit of a dad dancer *lol*.
Stayed until we got chucked out at closing time - 3.30am. I was so hyper I didn't want to stop dancing but ho-hum. Nearly got into a fight with a girl over a taxi, tbh my fault entirely - I queue jumped
. I'm usually so polite but hell this was my taxi and luckily being with 3 blokes meant she backed down! Must be something in the Welsh air (or maybe just being with my bro) that brings out the rotten side of me!Taxi dropped us at the kebab shop and me and my bro got pizza and his mate got chips and cheese. Walked up the street to my house. My bro and his mate went round the back to his flat and I stayed at the gate to say goodnight to Matt. Only I was so drunk I didn't want to say goodnight and brought him inside
! So Isobel, I wanted him and I had him *lol* and TBH it wasn't that good
. I think he was good but he just wasn't doing it for me. Funny how my feelings have changed. As I've said before, be careful what you wish for! Chucked him out at 7.30am, before my mum and dad got up because you have to walk through their flat to get out of mine. Was tempted to chuck him out the back window but I'm on the 2nd floor! Only joking, you can actually get out the back window quite easily because I've got a sloping roof to the flat roof of the first floor and then just a small drop to the flat roof of my brother's ground floor flat. My brother is being persuaded to build me my own exit so I can have some privacy!Anyway, I am meant to be seeing Matt on Tuesday night to go to the cinema and I'm not sure if I want to keep seeing him. Call me shallow but I spent half the night last night eyeing up other guys in the pub and club. There were some gorgeous specimens out there! That's not a good sign as far as relationship with Matt is concerned is it!
So what do I do? He's still really keen and has been texting me all day and I haven't replied yet. I think I still want to just have some fun! Not be tied to anyone - been there and done that for so many years. So what do I tell him? I'm not used to doing this. Don't know whether to go to the cinema on Tuesday or not and take it from there. Good thing is that he is in Dublin next weekend and I'm in Birmingham so I'll get a bit of a break! Lol what am I like, talking about breaks and I've only been out with him 4 times. I think every word I type it is becoming more and more clear that I am not into him isn't it. Even I can see it!
westiegirl
Gold Member
I think you are right, I'm definitely going to go to the cinema on Tuesday and take it from there!
