Where did I go so wrong??

[Lind]

Sorry to hear about your back hassle...take it easy and also don't be so hard on yourself...when it is all better you can soon be back to exercise...if you enjoy it and it is a big part of your life I can see why you miss it...I do when I have breaks from the gym during school hols and half term...I just itch to get there...back now an happy...

About the picking and it being almost subconscious...I think a lot of us have been there and it is not abnormal, I can think back to binges I have had and have not been fully aware of what I was doing, it was frenzied cramming that must be scary to watch if anyone was a fly on the wall! But yeah, I remember doing a food replacement thing a few years ago (lighterlife and lipotrim) and preparing food and then tasting it as I went...it's natural to want to smell and taste...good idea about your hubby being there, but also try and be in the moment, if you see what I mean...take notice of what you do with food, not to be fastidious, just to note your reaction, feelings and see if you are totally oblivious to the fact you are putting things in your mouth...and are you doing it out of boredom, hunger, etc...

Way to go on the losses, you're doing really well...remember to praise yourself up for the good things, it balances out the negatives you feel...well it works for me...chin up and keep going...

Thanks for that, I am feeling a bit better about not being able to exercise. I just have to make sure my back is good before I go doing anything because I don't want to give myself long term problems.

I nearly started just eating for the sake of it on Saturday, and got as far as the cupbard and realised what I was doing. I had a good think and decided that what ever it was I was going to eat I just didn't want it. I had eaten my lunch and I was not hungry but it was 3.30pm and I am so programmed to snack then that my subconsious sort of takes over. I am pleased I am starting to see what's going on.

 

[Lind]

It's a Monday morning, it's the begining of March and I feel that spring is so close now. Most of all, today I feel happy, and I feel like my diet is going somewhere now.
I am enjoying the feeling that not only am I losing weight but I am making myself fitter, healthier and happier. I haven't munched when I was preparing dinner at all this weekend and when my husband took us out to the pub I sat and watched him and my son tuck into a lovely Sunday dinner and I had an SF meal bar. Even though I really wanted the dinner I felt good that I had the self control to not just give in. I thought I can have it one day I just can't have it today.

I also went into a shop and saw the best pair of Ted Baker jeans in the world. I have decided they will be my treat when I get to a size 10. So now every time I think I want to eat something I shouldn't I just remember the lovely jeans and decide which I want more. So far the jeans are winning!!

I feel like my mind is going in the right direction now and I think that when it gets there that will be half the battle won.

 

[nexangelus]

Way to go, spring weather does help loads with positivity and energy levels I find. I cannot wait until summer. Lotsa swimming and running then! Size 10s eh, COOL!

 

[Lind]

Way to go, spring weather does help loads with positivity and energy levels I find. I cannot wait until summer. Lotsa swimming and running then! Size 10s eh, COOL!

Yep size 10 Ted Bakers are my goal!!!
Go me!! lol

Yesterday I had this idea about post it notes!!

I have put about 100 post it notes all over the house!! In the bread bin they say things like "Don't do it!!! and Think of those size 10 jeans!!"

In the bathroon I have put a load around the mirror saying things like "Don't have a fat day because you're nealry half way there. And, Smile because you are doing the right thing."

They are all over the house, my hubby and son think I have now gone completely mad! lol But they really are helping me, I have made them all positive, even the ones telling me to get my hands out the bread bin are positive.

Feeling good toady and have lots of energy, all I need now is for my GP to tell me I can get back to exercise and I will be one happy Spring Bunny!!

 

[Smiley Bon]

Morning, I thought I would pop into your blog and see how you are. Hope your back is much better now.

Ha i love the post it note idea!! hehe. When i dieted before I had a horrible fat photo of me on the inside of the kitchen cupboard so i would see it whenever i wanted to eat something, ha. I think i might try that again...

And having a goal like size 10 nice jeans is brilliant, think of those when you get the cravings! I find that amazing that you sat and watched your family eat a Sunday dinner!! ha, i would be soooo tempted! well done, I am proud of you You will be in those jeans before you know it!

 

[Lind]

Morning, I thought I would pop into your blog and see how you are. Hope your back is much better now.

Ha i love the post it note idea!! hehe. When i dieted before I had a horrible fat photo of me on the inside of the kitchen cupboard so i would see it whenever i wanted to eat something, ha. I think i might try that again...

And having a goal like size 10 nice jeans is brilliant, think of those when you get the cravings! I find that amazing that you sat and watched your family eat a Sunday dinner!! ha, i would be soooo tempted! well done, I am proud of you You will be in those jeans before you know it!

lol I love these jeans so much that I can not imagine my life without them!! lol
All I have to do is be a size 10 and those babies are mine!! I have to admit though, I have told the hubby they are only £40! lol

 

[nexangelus]

Yesterday I had this idea about post it notes!!

I have put about 100 post it notes all over the house!! In the bread bin they say things like "Don't do it!!! and Think of those size 10 jeans!!"

In the bathroon I have put a load around the mirror saying things like "Don't have a fat day because you're nealry half way there. And, Smile because you are doing the right thing."

They are all over the house, my hubby and son think I have now gone completely mad! lol But they really are helping me, I have made them all positive, even the ones telling me to get my hands out the bread bin are positive.

Yep, positive affirmations soooo work...it's like reprogramming your negative thought patterns, I know it sounds cheesy and people think it's daft, but it does work...

Way to go, it's great when you feel good about yourself and the things you are doing and it sounds like your endorphins are kicking in before you even exercise!!!

 

[Lind]

I am having a moment!!!

It's 3pm and this hour is the worst time of day for me!! I am not hungry but I am programmed to eat. This is the time I normally have a sandwich, crisps, cakes, chocolate or anything really.
Today I am strugling because I have nothing to do.
Normally I go out in the afternoons, or do the housework and generally make myself busy. But today there is nothing doing. The house is spotless, I have even done the ironing!! It's too cold and windy to go out, and I can't think of anywhere to go today anyway. My son is snuggled down on the sofa watching Peppa Pig and doesn't want to play. My husband is home from work and messing about it his play room (sorry room full of things he has spent many years collecting. lol ) and I want to put something in my mouth!!! And I bet you can all imagine what my husband offered!!
So I thought I would just come on here and write it all down. Get it out of my system and try and figure out why this happens. Like I said I am not even hungry!!
The only thing I can out it down to is when I was working and I used to have my break at this time and go out for a fag and coffee and a quick choccy bar. I did that for years, right from when I left school. Actually when I was at school and would get home about this time I used to come in and go straight to the fridge!! I wasn't fat then but I never used to have any lunch because I used to save my lunch money up for extra to spend at the weekend. So I have probably been a muncher at this time of day for about 20 years!! That is going to be one hard habbit to break. !!

 

[Lind]

Good Bye Blood Pressure!!!

Today I am quite possibly the happiest lady in the whole of the world!!
I am offically off the blood pressure tablets, and I have perfectly normal bog standard blood pressure!!! Yippeeee!!
And, to top it all off it's 3.30pm and I am not having my afternoon craving for anything I can fit into my mouth. I feel fantastic and my life is really changing now. I can see the difference my diet has made to my health and I feel like I have really achived something significant.
For the first time my GP actually congratulated me on my weight loss and blood pressure instead of telling me how much more weight I should loose.
Today has made up for all the dark and moody days and all the days I f***** up because my mind wasn't in the right place.
I wonder if I will be feeling this much love tomorrow?? :character00100:

 

[Georgiestar]

Why is fruit more healthy than bread? Both bread and fruit are carbs...fruit may or may not have more fibre...

I thought fruit was a few less calories, i used to have quite alot of bread and chocolate and started pileing on the weight, although I have cut down too.

welldone on improving your health thats amazing!
and i havent read this for a while, I dont think I could watch my family eat a sunday roast!!

 

[Lind]

I thought fruit was a few less calories, it helps me anyway because i used to have quite alot of bread and chocolate instead and started pileing on the weight.

I bought some grapes.
I don't really like them so i only have a few and eat them really slowly. Seems to be working at the moment.

 

[nexangelus]

I thought fruit was a few less calories, i used to have quite alot of bread and chocolate and started pileing on the weight, although I have cut down too.!

Okay, I don't calorie count but I do watch the carbs as they tend to make one hungry...bread, especially brown, sprouted, wholemeal, nutty, etc is lower glycemic carbs, you won't want to rush into eating a whole load more...whereas fruit can have exactly the same effect as sugary things like sweets, chocs and the like....just being cautionary as many make the mistake thinking that fruit is the 'healthier' option, when everything in moderation is just as good, wholesome and healthy...vegetables would be way better, if you are thinking of replacing choc, sweets and the like as well, they are carby and have roughage in them...and they don't give you a wild sugar rush...and cravings...

 

[Georgiestar]

i dont calorie count either i just took note on how much bread was, I'm not obssesive i just knew I had to cut down and yeah everything in moderation,

 

[Lind]

Right, time for an update. I haven't been on here over the weekend. We had my husbands daughter and her boyfriend come down for the weekend so I didn't get a chance to come on here. Which, I thought I would struggle with because I come on here for support at the weekends as that is when I struggle the most.
As it turned out I didn't really need to worry about it at all. They didn't turn up until after tea on Friday evening and we went out for the day on Saturday and I took my SF bar with me. In the evening while they all had a big fat Chinese I sat smuggly eating my salad and telling them all how much fat and calories they were eating. It didn't put them off though!!
To be honest I didn't need too much help to stay on the straight and narrow this weekend because I went to the doctors on Thurdays and I have finally managed to get my blood pressure down to just about perfect, which also means I have come off the blood pressure tablets.
Then on Friday I had my weigh in and I had lost 6 pound in a week, I was so chuffed but that only got better when I put my new weight on here and found out I had got my BMI down to under 30. I feel like I have hit a really big mile stone with that, like I have achieved something I couldn't really imagine just a few months ago.
I celebrated my wonderful achivements this week with a trip to the hairdressers and getting a fab new haircut. On the way back to the car I decided to detour into a shop to try on a pair of size 12 jeans. I just wanted to see how close I was to getting into them. I had braced myself for them not fitting and told myself that it was just to see how well I was doing. So imagine my surprise when they FITTED!!!!
I just stood there looking at myself in the mirror and laughing. I think I may have looked a little bit mental because the sales assistant came over and asked if I was ok. I told her that I had been on a diet and how much weight I had lost, and, I was proud of myself. I was proud that I had done something positive and I wasn't ashamed of myself anymore. That was the biggest achievement, the fact that I was no longer ashamed to talk about my weight, or to try things on in shops and to let people pay me a compliment and acceped as just them being nice.
I feel this week I have turned a corner!

 

[CuddlePaws]

Well done! You are such an inspiration! I hope I can do half as well as you have done! x

 

[Lind]

Thank you CP, that means a lot.

 

[nexangelus]

You are doing so well and under your own steam lady, that takes gumption...keep it up, I know you are strong...those size 10s are nearer than you think, I suspect...

 

[Lind]

You are doing so well and under your own steam lady, that takes gumption...keep it up, I know you are strong...those size 10s are nearer than you think, I suspect...

Thanks for that. Feel as though I am getting somewhere at last.


Well then, today the sun is shining and the birds are singing and the baby bunnies are playing in the paddock and I am feeling good.
I bought a new jacket yesterday becasue my size 20 one was making me feel as though I was still that size, and my new jacket is a size 14!!! lmao!!!
So I can now proudly say I am a size 12 bottom and a size 14 top. Yay, and to celebrate I am going swimming this afternoon and I am really looking forward to it. Before if I had something to celebrate it would be straight down the pub and a big meal lots of wine and lots of fags. I find it almost surreal that I am now celebrating doing things that I know make me feel even better than before.
I am starting to really get to like the new me.!!

 

[Lind]

Bad Day, Good Day

I feel a bit odd today. I think it's the totm but I'm not too sure as I have a new coil that is supposed to stop totm from happening and all thats happening is period pains. These are making me miserable and bad tempered and I feel as though I want to eat everything in sight.

I want to go out for a long bike ride to blow out the cobwebs but my hubby is at work all day today and I don't have anyone to look after my little boy.

I just feel rubbish today.

I am not going to cheat my diet, I know that, I don't want this diet to last even a day longer that it has too. Feeling today like I just want to get it over with and don't have any patience.

And, to top it all off, I was talking to my husband last night about having a tummy tuck when I hit my goal weight. (Ihave a tummy that is so full of strech marks it looks like a map of the London Underground) Anyway we were talking about what time of year it would be best to do it and he said I should get a boob job at the same time. Now I know he was only saying that after loosing a lot of weight they might look a bit saggy and he was only saying what I was thinking, and he is offering to pay for it all. So why then did I go mental at the poor man and start crying and wailing about how he won't love me if I don't keep my big boobs. He didn't know what to do bless him. I did apologise to him later and he did ask me if I was feeling a bit tired!

Sorry guys, I sound so stupid today. Talk about being full of my own self pity. i think I am going off to clean something really hard.

 

[nexangelus]

Nope, don't be sorry, it sounds hormonal and also like the time of year, loads of peeps I know have been very emotional lately, me included...I cried about something pretty minor the other night...even my beau seems a bit odd lately...up and down...

I feel way tired today and poo, so I empathise...take it easy on yourself, you are allowed to be human and not superlady/mom/wife/friend, etc all the time!