Who are you dieting for?

[chubby-chick]

I am dieting MAINLY for my self, mi self confidence has plummeted since ive gained the weight, i had a bad past two years but now im back on track and ready to be the confident bubbly person i once was. I just want to back to the weight i was before i took that bloody medication. but why im doing it now is because i want to look my best for my boyf.... i know he loves me the way i am and wud love me no matter wat size i was. but i want to be the girlf that his friends are jealous about not having i want him to be able to show me off(i also have to compete with all his SUPER SKINNY girl mates) and thn i also want the attention i used to get where ppl said"ur so skinny, i wish i looked like that" etc.... and then last of all im doing it to get my parents off my back.... everytime i eat they give out to me saying if im not careful il get as big as a house.... even if i havent eaten much that day.... but when i get back to a healthy weight they wont be able to give out to me for eating( but i know my dad will give out to me for not eating then, hes a horrible control freak and is never happy with wat i do.... especialy wen it comes to eating food.) I also gained my weight so quickly(4stone in a year) that i was on the verge of diabetes, so health reasons is another reason.... anyway il stop blabbering....

 

[slendablenda]

Good luck Chubby

If you want it enough then you will do it. If your Dad particularly is trying to control you then the best thing you can do is to lose the weight for YOU and show him that you are in control not him.
The confidence, bubbly you will follow on.
Believe me - it will.
Same for you Clare. You can get the "old" you back.
Good luck girls

 

[chubby-chick]

I am half and half dieting for myself.

I suffer quite badly from unipolar depression, since my boyfriend found out he has done everything in his power to help me get better, he takes such good care of me and always tells me I'm beautiful. On a day when I'm stuck in a 'dark cloud' these words can't always reach me but I still appreciate his efforts so much. This has taken our relationship to a completely different level, and I now really couldn't picture life without him.

I want to loose weight and be thin and pretty because a beautiful, interesting and inspiring fellow deserves an equal

cateka, i dont want to insult u or anything.... but when u began dieting u wer not overweight, u wer on the verge of being underweight, u are now underweight, and ur goal bmi is the bmi of an anorexic. this ha probably something to do with your mental health difficulties, please talk to someone about it. its very worrying that u feel u need to get to that bmi. sorry if i offend u in saying this, take care of yourself xx CC

 

[Isis]

I think most people will say that they are dieting for themselves, but are you really? Or is it to get approval from others?

For me. 100% for me. Took some time to get there and realise that it has to be for ME. End of.

 

[DikMeisje]

Im dieting mostly for myself, Ive wanted to lose the weight I gained a few years ago for a long time, but the reason I suddenly got inspired to get started on something drastic like CD is a man ^^
A while ago I met a man on the internet who is beyond perfect, he seems to be very interested in me as a person and mentioned a couple of times he wants to meet in person. He is a doctor and I never got to mention my weight, but since hes a doctor Im guessing he would be less enthusiastic if he knew how overweight I was at the time we met. Thats why I got started on CD and I decided to meet this man 4 to 5 months from now. Im not expecting myself to be perfect by then, but Id like to look at least healthy, and who knows what might happen when I meet my friend in real life ^^

 

[Keepthefaith]

It's mostly for myself. I have missed out on a lot - not just because of my weight - other issues too, but my weight has some to do with it. I never wanted to go out dancing, clothes shopping etc. The simple things teens and people my age should do. And it's really quite sad...I can't get those years back. But I am still young, so I have to do it NOW for the future's sake. The lack of confidence. I also have PCOS, so you could say I'm doing it for my hopeful future children. And to lower my health risks that come with that, and just generally being "big"

But, I'm not going to lie - I want to suprise people. I want people to see that I have managed to accomplish something very good. I want them to think I am attractive, yes. Who doesn't want to be considered attractive? Honestly, I get told I'm very pretty a lot, but I know what people are thinking. It's usually "you have a beautiful face" Haha.

I've missed out on things because of my weight/confidence, and I'm 20 now, I don't want to have to be hold back anymore. I do realise being thin isn't going to be the answer to everything. I know I have other issues I have to work at, and I am working on them. I also know that losing weight will help somewhat, probably quite a lot. The weight I've lost already has helped a bit.

It's a mixture of reasons. But I don't think wanting to do it so other people find you attractive/to fit in/etc. is such a bad thing though to be honest. As long as you're not doing it JUST for that reason, you can still accomplish it and carry it on surely.

 

[Chelsea Lou]

I can honestly say that for once in my life i am actually doing something for ME...i am loosing weight for ME...it is ME that wont do things because I feel people are looking at ME, it is ME that feels rubbish in my clothes, it is ME that wants to eventually find a loving partner, it is ME that wants to progress in MY career and it is ME that wants to live longer...all these things may affect others but (and at the risk of sounding very selfish) i am doing it primarily for ME ME MEEEE !!! x

Ditto all of that!!!

How others perceive me is what defines me, which is a terrible thing to own up to. My self-esteem, or lack of it, stems from childhood and forever seeking parental approval etc. etc. Bit too deep and depressing to go into here but it has affected me all my life and I am nearly 54!!! Maybe one day I will just have the attitude that I am what I am and stuff anyone who doesn't like me.... one day

 

[shrinkingsarah]

I am doing it for me; I want to have a long life to fit in all I want to do, not a self-caused early death from an obesity related illness, and I really do not enjoy permanently feeling like a blown-up balloon! I want to see me in the mirror, not the thing that looks back, because that is not me. I have a lot to gain from shedding the excess lbs, and have a long list of ways my weight currently affects me on my wall to remind me of what I will gain by becoming slimmer.

I am also doing it because of the perception of others, which ultimately will benefit me, for example not being judged as lazy when I go to job interviews, and to be able to eat in public without people judgeing me and staring and making me feel like i've committed a crime.

But I am not doing it for approval. I've recently come to realise that being overweight does not make me a bad person, I actually like who I am, I just have a few issues (who doesn't!) that I need to find new ways of dealing with rather than eating. Which btw I am working on, making me a stronger person

 

[Lynn8124]

I am doing it for me; I want to have a long life to fit in all I want to do, not a self-caused early death from an obesity related illness, and I really do not enjoy permanently feeling like a blown-up balloon! I want to see me in the mirror, not the thing that looks back, because that is not me. I have a lot to gain from shedding the excess lbs, and have a long list of ways my weight currently affects me on my wall to remind me of what I will gain by becoming slimmer.

I am also doing it because of the perception of others, which ultimately will benefit me, for example not being judged as lazy when I go to job interviews, and to be able to eat in public without people judgeing me and staring and making me feel like i've committed a crime.

But I am not doing it for approval. I've recently come to realise that being overweight does not make me a bad person, I actually like who I am, I just have a few issues (who doesn't!) that I need to find new ways of dealing with rather than eating. Which btw I am working on, making me a stronger person

Nice one, good for you girl.

 

[wannabeanewme]

I've been sat reading through the replies to this and so many things are familiar to me.. to answer the inital question - who am I doing this for..

I'm doing it for myself..

for once in my life, I'm putting me first. I've spent so long fretting over how other people see me, trying hard to ignore the sniggers with a smile while I feel like am dying inside, had enough of the hidden tears when people look past me with a smirk as if to say 'look at the state of that'.. I want my daughters and grandchildren to feel proud of me for achieving something for myself. I know they love me, my OH says he loves me regardless of how I look or what size I am but I dont.. sorry to be harsh or blunt.. but I hate the 'Me' I am at the minute and have hated 'Me' for a long time. Inside there is a bubbly confident person.. the person I used to be.. I just wish I could find her again..
To me - I feel that I have no self worth, self esteem or confidence.. as I've got heavier and more ill through things weight related - and some not.. I've felt like I've lost myself beneath the blubber that is my body..
I want to be able to run on the garden with my dog, be able to play chase with my grandchildren, be asked by my eldest daughter to go shopping for clothes with her because am not an embarrasment to be around and I want to stop being a burden on my OH - who says am not but due to the esteem/confidence issues I have - I tend not to believe him at times..
I want to be happy, I want to be healthy but most of all...

I want to feel ALIVE.. and that dream, the hope.. for me.. is now only days away and am still scared, still worried and still hopeful..

 

[heartbeats]

I'm doing this for me. I just feel that if I lose the weight, my life will improve in so many areas. I really hope it will give me the confidence boost I need in order to make the most of my life.
I'm only 19 and feel like I'm missing out on loads because of my insecurities.

 

[shrinkingsarah]

hearbeats, good for you, I'm 27 so you'll have a few years on me
just wanted to say, losing weight will help massively with the confidence, and that I've always been really shy and had problems at work/home because of it, just got an assertiveness workbook, which is making so much sense and helping already!

 

[olivia1987uk]

I'm doing it for me...I suffer with asthma too so I feel that my weight is inhibiting that more than it would if I was thinner!

My boyfriend also admitted he would like me thinner. He said because he knew it would make me happier and healthier. I guess he must be telling the truth because I was this big when I met him. Surely he wouldn't have started a relationship with me if he didn't find me attractive?!

 

[slimmerkay]

This is easy!

I'm doing it for my kids because

a) I don't want them to think the way we used to eat is normal and right.

b) I don't want to die young and leave them without a mum.

 

[Queenaiysh]

:sign0144:
Im doing this for myself, my health and so that I have enough confidence to meet someone special and hopefully spend my life with them. So far i've tried a lot of diets and although I initially got the support I needed from family, most of them were banking on me to fail, which is very soul-destroying. Im going down the arranged-marriage route because its part of my culture and religion and I honestly dont mind doing this, but its the perception of outsiders that really make me feel embarassed about my weight. Ive met 3 potential matches though family/friends circle and all 3 rejected me because of my weight. Im approx 5'3, weigh 12st 11lbs and a size 14/16. Ive found through my experiences that most men prefer slimmer women, and I am constantly being expected to live upto that expectation and harassed into changing my appearance just to please others.
Im really inspired by some of the people on this forum and until recently, I had lost sight of why I am actually doing this - it's for myself and I really hope I can stay focused on my goals rather than wallowing in self-pity...a BIG THANKYOU to all of you who have contributed to this weight-loss forum, I wouldnt have had the determination and drive I needed if it wasnt for all your inspiring stories!!! :thankyou:

:queen:

 

[FunSize]

Being honest....

I have no clue who I am dieting for.

I've known for years I need to lose weight, I did then gained it, but it was always for different reasons.

My most recent seems to be the most ongoing and one i'm putting alot more energy into achieving. It settled on me while i was reading Managing PCOS for dummies, and came across syndrome X, it scared me, I never knew ontop of all the stuff PCOS can cause problems with, it can cause even more damage. I was getting really depressed over my weight, feeling really unattractive and put myself on scales, i was almost hitting 14stone.. It may not be alot but i'm rather short, very short, below average. Got depressed, ate more and cried, I was still raw from my cat dying (effectively my baby for the past 10 years) and my uncle dying the year before, then realised that neither one of them would want me living with myself so utterly depressed.

Somehow I got to 13stone 8 before i took the dieting seriously, and putting my health as first priority, especially I got put on metformin, it really hit home that I could easily become diabetic if i didnt watch my step, as so many other problems could happen then.

And its some selfishness too, when I was 11 stone 7 (almost 14stone before i slimmed down using GI diet but i gained it all rather quickly after that, as GI diet was rather restrictive and too obessive over food for me being honest) anyway when i was 11 stone 7 (the lightest i've been since i was about 10-11 years old) I bought a fantastic selection of clothes, mainly for the holiday, I actually want to get to wear those clothes, and the slightly smaller clothes I bought for inspiration clothes when i wanted to get smaller while I was that weight.

Still feel like the ugly sheep with all my mates too, as most of them were thin they know how to hold themselves and had that confidence while they were teens where I had none of that because I felt so out of place, so the weight lose would help with confidence too.

Mainly I want to enjoy being me, and believe losing weight to a healthy weight without having food dominate my life, would be a major step towards that.

 

[wildmonkeylass]

I can honestly say I am doing this for me, as a present to myself after my back surgery. Now I can move about and be active again I want to do it without this excess 4 stone hanging on me.
I suppose all who know me will benefit from a lighter me, I'm alot less grumpy when I don't feel cumbersome - I want to get back climbing trees and taking photos.

 

[Mahina Lani]

My partner.
During a difficult time he told me he wanted me to be thinner.

Plus I hate the looks I get when I'm out with my walking stick.
It's one of those insecurities I have where this voice in my head says "they're judging you because you're fat and have a stick".
​

 

[Caress]

I'm doing it for me primarily, I did it before, I can do it again. I don't want to be this person anymore, not looks wise, I'm very happy with the person I am on the inside. I thought I'd waved goodbye to that woman, but she's back, however, this time she'll be gone for good.

I'm also doing it for my son, I want to be around to see him grow into a man, I want to be there for my grandchildren and to see them grow, to be able to play with them, cuddle them, not be this blob sat in a corner, cos I'm too fat to move and do anything with them.

I'm doing it for my family, my sister, brother, neices, nephews, they love me and want me around, which the way I've been going, isn't going to be long enough.

I'm also doing it to prove a point, my mother, she's belittled me and put me down about my weight for years. I'm going to be thinner than she is and prove that I'm better than that.

 

[Witchy]

Im dieting because I cannot stand to look in a mirror and dont have any in the house unless its everyones personnal ones and to show people I can do it.

Hubby is supportive but met me like I am and loves me for me, bless him.

At the end of the day I want to be able to do more things with my kids and I feel im letting them down by being overweight and unfit.