♥ .. Ruby's GREEN & RED Day's .. ♥

Awww thanks Tace & cheeky! Your so right, it's good to be reminded of why your doin it and how far you've come .... Iv been suffering bad depression recently and anything is making me go of on one ..... Keep contemplating visiting the doctor but I know he will only put me on anti-d's ........ And I'm not sure about them .. Always wanted to avoid .. So I usually bust it all out at the gym ... Been too tired and run down to go recently ....... I dunno what is wrong with me - iv no close friends to talk to about it all either .. My husband is great but talking to man is totally different to talking to a woman .. Women understand the whole situation better - men just tell you to get on with it! Typical lol ..

I went out last night - and had 4 Malibu n dc & 2 sambuca shots - so only 18 syns for the lot .. I'm not counting it in my syns n starting from fresh today .... Hopefully I can start from fresh now :) xxx
 
Today's food

Breakfast
None - fast asleep ;)

Dinner
Cheesy Beans on toast
HEXB & HEXA

Tea
Smoked tofu & tomato omelette
S&s mugshot
Bigga peas
Ketchup
HEXA & 1.5 syns

Snacks
X-light Philly on toast
Popcorn
Few crisps
HEXB &13.5 syns

15 syns used
 
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Hey!
About the depression. Would you consider counselling? Even just someone to talk to without 'therapy' really helps! Esp, like you said, if you've not got anyone to talk to.
I fought going on AD's for years and I'm not 100% happy about being on them, but I can safely say they do help me cope. The first 4-6 weeks can be rough, I will tell you that!

Also, I know you don't really know me, but I'm more than happy to listen if you need to. Sometimes it helps talking to someone who's been there/done that. But sometimes it is just good to talk. Just get it out! And I would never judge or tell you to "get on with it" :)

Take it easy dude.
Lotsa love.xx
 
cheekychinchilla said:
Hey!
About the depression. Would you consider counselling? Even just someone to talk to without 'therapy' really helps! Esp, like you said, if you've not got anyone to talk to.
I fought going on AD's for years and I'm not 100% happy about being on them, but I can safely say they do help me cope. The first 4-6 weeks can be rough, I will tell you that!

Also, I know you don't really know me, but I'm more than happy to listen if you need to. Sometimes it helps talking to someone who's been there/done that. But sometimes it is just good to talk. Just get it out! And I would never judge or tell you to "get on with it" :)

Take it easy dude.
Lotsa love.xx
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Awwwww - your so kind cc! Sometimes it's probably better to talk to ppl who don't know you as like you say they won't judge you, and remember things that they know about you, your so lovely to offer :) .. When I was recovering from an eating disorder, I spoke with counsellors & felt all I did was cry because I would be encouraged to talk about my past ..... Is that common?

What's the side effects of AD's ? I was thinking of trying St. John's wort before AD's ... My husband thinks its silly to even be considering AD's :( xxx
 
RUBYROO said:
Awwwww - your so kind cc! Sometimes it's probably better to talk to ppl who don't know you as like you say they won't judge you, and remember things that they know about you, your so lovely to offer :) .. When I was recovering from an eating disorder, I spoke with counsellors & felt all I did was cry because I would be encouraged to talk about my past ..... Is that common?

What's the side effects of AD's ? I was thinking of trying St. John's wort before AD's ... My husband thinks its silly to even be considering AD's :( xxx
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It is common for them to start with your past, especially with an eating disorder. But it is your right to tell them what you want to talk about. It helps at first to go in to your past, but it shouldn't all be about that. You should be able to steer your sessions :)
The side effect I struggled most with was a massive increase in my appetite. When I first went on them I was doing SW or anything and I caved in to all temptations. But when I had my dose changed earlier this year I just stuffed myself with free SW and tried to curb the hunger that way. And, with most things, they will make you feel worse before you get better. But it's usually worth it :) They don't suit everyone though and they're all different so it might be a good idea to have a really good talk with your Dr so they can try and work out what's best for YOU!

I never understand why people would say "You don't need help/ad's" How do they know how you feel?! And what's appropriate to you?!

I have a huge problem with people who have a problem or who are ignorant to mental illness. I get a bit ranty ;) x
 
I was on ADs in 2000. I really really needed them then. This time, Im trying not to go on them, if at all possible, mainly because the worst side effect for me was insanely extreme exhaustion. Almost to narcoleptic proportions!! lol. And I have 2 little girls now - a 3.5 year old and a 15 month old and I cannot see having to keep up with them and be that sleepy/tired/exhausted. Also, headache. Massive horrible nearly unbearable headache. And again...keeping up with my girls and dealing with that stuff...no ta. lol. Also, I think this time around its more a case that I (think, Im pretty convinced) have PMDD...and not ACTUAL depression. Anyway, I digress. No one should really have any form of comment to make if/when you say you need some help, other than comments of support. Like CC said, it suits some people to go on them and not so much for others, and there are do many different ones etc. Its best to see your doc and have a nice long chat about it :) But never suffer alone because someone (even if it is someone close to you) thinks that you dont need help - whatever form that help may be in, ie - counselling, ADs, etc xx

(sorry, didnt mean to hijack! just know that you are totally not alone!) x
 
Aw no your not hijacking atall :)

Lovely to get replies ..... Do I go to my doc if I want to go to a counsellor? I feel like he/she will look at me and think - why the hell does she want counselling .. Iv very low self esteem .. Maybe that's why iv no friends who wanna listen to me - or iv just not said 'hey, i need a friend' I dunno .... Depression does silly things to you doesn't it ... Like I can be totally on top of the world one minute and the next I feel like what's the point in it all ..... I weirdly like to be by myself and iv given up trusting ppl coz so many just screw me over ....... Sorry for waffling ..... Your great to give me your time to read tho :) xxx
 
And thanks for your replies on the side effects ..... The big appetite one scares me - maybe that's why it's never been suggested to me with my eating disorder history ... Sorry to hear about your exhaustion bee ..... Must be hard to go thru the worse before better stage too :( xxx
 
Yup, see your Dr and ask to be referred for counselling. You'll probably be assessed by someone and they'll decide what type of counselling you're likely to need.
A good Dr would never turn down a request for counselling!! Or even question it. Most are very very supportive of mental illness, and there is so much more awareness now.
I have quite sever issues over trusting people and letting people get close. I think it is a depression/anxiety/self esteem thing. But it also comes from experience too. If you've been sh*t on before you're unlikely to keep trying. It's taken me over 2 years to really start trusting people at work. And I have a nice, small circle of very trusted friends who I love dearly. But yeah, it's damn hard work trusting people and making friends!

I'm not sure if all AD's have the "hunger" side effect, again it's something worth looking in to and talking about. It may be that you'll get to a counsellor before AD's are even mentioned as they may be able to advise you better on them :)

It is a lot to think about and it's bloody scary. I've been dealing with this since I was 15, so it's just my normal now. I'm also really open about my depression and anxiety and questionable mental health ;) So feel free to ask anything.
Lotsa love dude.xx
 
Aw thanks Hun! I no iv suffered from a type of depression since my eating disorder years but its kinda been there in the background .. So you just kinda accept it and try to live with it .. I assume maybe its gotten worse since diagnosed with hypothyroid .... & last year A lot of people shat on me from great heights ... I lost trust in everyone bar my husband .. He's the only person I no I can keep close - people at work don't seem to have time for me - or maybe I feel that way coz I don't trust them .... I dunno .. It's horrible isn't it? I hate how depression is freely thrown into an equation when someone feels low .. Coz there's feeling low then there's depression ..

I struggle to speak to doctors about things - I might ask to speak to a woman doctor as I feel like I could trust her more .. I dunno why!

Thanks so much for your help! Even talking about it has helped !

A quick one - do you somedays feel horrendously depressed, but the next day feel ok and think why should I go and speak to someone there's nowt wrong with me, they would tell me to stop being stupid - Is that common too? Iv made doctors appts before and cancelled them because I feel 'ok' on the day i was guna go! Then another day feel bad and wished id seen someone - Very frustrating !! X x
 
Just read everything about depression, I've suffered with it since I was in my teens, I've had AD's and counciling. My doctor wanted me to see a physchiatrist but I drew the line at that for the time being but it will probably be on the cards at some point in the future. All I can say is go to your doctor even if you're having a good day and tell them exactly how you feel and they will talk you through various options and find out what is best for you. You might find keepin a diary of your feelings helpful as I find when you see the doctor half of it flies out of my head, plus you will be able to see if there's any sort of pattern forming. You should do what you thinks best and what will work for you not what other people think. As for side effects I've had extremely strong AD's which made me like a zombie but that was what was required at the time and I've had lighter ones that have just eased the symtoms enough to allow be to think straight and sort out has been the problem at the time, there are so many different tablets out there that be taylored to you and don't be afraid to go back and change things if they don't work your doctor will keeping on trying until they find one that suits you.
I hope you can pluck up the courage to speak to your doctor, you'll feel so much better just doing that x x x
 
Thanks Tace! I chicken out every time I wanna go ..... Because iv had such a lonely life - I'm use to doing everything myself and feel like no one else needs to be involved or will wanna help me .. So when I actually ask for help, it doesn't feel right if you get me ..... But I will go to the doc - my docs are weird tho and you have to turn up at 8am for an appt ?? Or if you want an appt, You have to have a phone convo and tell the doc what's up then they will give you an appt - no wonder I chicken out :0

Thanks for everyone's help - I appreciate it so much xxx
 
Dr's surgeries that run like that are bloody stupid! That would put me off too - esp as I hate talking on the phone ;)

It is common to swing from feeling awful to feeling cheery, that's definitely part of it. And a thyroid problem can have a massive impact on mental health and can make existing depression much worse. I think that's why I'm struggling so much at the moment.

Tace has said everything else I would have said, so wont bombard you :p Hope you're doing ok today.

I will say though, admitting you think you're struggling and might need help is a HUGE step!!! So well done.xx
 
cheekychinchilla said:
Dr's surgeries that run like that are bloody stupid! That would put me off too - esp as I hate talking on the phone ;)

It is common to swing from feeling awful to feeling cheery, that's definitely part of it. And a thyroid problem can have a massive impact on mental health and can make existing depression much worse. I think that's why I'm struggling so much at the moment.

Tace has said everything else I would have said, so wont bombard you :p Hope you're doing ok today.

I will say though, admitting you think you're struggling and might need help is a HUGE step!!! So well done.xx
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Silly init! I feel stupid saying it anyway but on the phone is definitely a no no !!
I do feel better chatting to you ladies as you know what's its like - I must have been chatting to the wrong ppl - my only friends are work friends & are very outgoing - out every weekend & always looking pretty & slim .. So thank you to you all for listening .. Your right tho, admitting something is wrong is a step in the right direction .. I might visit my docs tomo & ask for a 'proper appointment' even if its weeks away as I can't do a phone convo - I can't even talk face to face at the moment .. Your all so lovely to listen :) xxx
 
It's daft isn't it that we're happier to drag ourselves out somewhere and talk face to face? That's what I did last week. Couldn't face phoning the garage to get my car sorted so drove there and went in. Just a way of coping isn't it?!
I hate having the emergency phone or being on reception at work - makes me super mega anxious!

Always happy to listen.xx
 
cheekychinchilla said:
It's daft isn't it that we're happier to drag ourselves out somewhere and talk face to face? That's what I did last week. Couldn't face phoning the garage to get my car sorted so drove there and went in. Just a way of coping isn't it?!
I hate having the emergency phone or being on reception at work - makes me super mega anxious!

Always happy to listen.xx
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Haha yeah crazy!!

Oh bless ya! Thanks so much! You don't wanna get me started, I can talk for Britain xx
 
Breakfast
Boiled eggs, soldiers & vitalite spread
HEXB & 1.5 syns

Dinner
Philadelphia & salad butty
Lentil soup
Blackberries, cherries & banana
HEXB & 2 syns

Tea
sainsburys vegetarian spag Bol
Low low cheese
Watermelon
HEXA & 3.5 syns

Snacks
Alpen light
Tayto crisps
8 syns

15 syns used
 
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