♥ ~ Tanya's Maintainence Diary ~ Year 2 ~♥

[summergurl]

Monday 16th May

B- sm wm toast, butter (176)

L- 4slices small chicken supreme pizza (680)
1/2 cookie dough desert (250)
salad bar - cucumber, lettuce, couscous, beetroot, sweetcorn, pickled onions, couple tortilla chips, 1/2ladle lf ceaser dressing, peppers, red onion, sweetcorn pasta

D- probably an apple & maybe 2ww biccies (127)

S/total (without salad bar) = 1,233

Tried to work out the cals best I could for lunch, but obv couldnt work out the salad bar.

Not sure why i'm soooo excited about the run. When I think about it all I can see is myself running across the finish line and then crying ... how silly will I look if that actually happens?!!! lol

 

[summergurl]

Which day next week Tanya?? Dead excited for you.

Next sunday, 29th x

 

[irish molly]

Will think of you all Sun so, sending positive vibes for knee to hold up and a good finish time.

 

[summergurl]

The knee is ok at the minute Molly. Still twinging but no where near as bad. Run tomorrow so it'll probably play up again after that but then i've got 4days rest before my final long run before race day on sunday so should be ok! :fingerscrossed:

 

[JanD]

I wouldn't mind betting you wouldn't be the only one to shed a tear. After all that build up and whatever charities people are running for will mean something to them personally. I can't see anything wrong with it xx

 

[SandraB]

OMG where has the time gone? You'll walk it......on second thoughts though, better if you run it! Xx

 

[MiniB]

This time next week it will all be over. Can't believe how quickly it's come round.

I will be looking out for you on the local news Tanya!

 

[summergurl]

On the news? bloody hope not I wouldn't make nice viewing after just running 13.1 miles .. i'll be dripping in sweat and probably crying

Had a dream last night, would love to know what it meant, if anything. Anyone any good at interpreting dreams?? Its going to bug me otherwise. Got a bit swimming around in my head at the minute and i'm sure its related to that but would love to know for certain!

Tuesday 17th May

*6mile run (1:07:56 pace 11m19s p/m 814cals burnt)

B- porridge, s.smilk, spoon sugar (299)

L- spinach & ricotta tortellini (tossed in some butter) lettuce, cucumber, spring onions, creamy coleslaw, slice cheddar (654)

lf yog (68 )

D- meal bar (220)

*banana after run (105)
*ww cookies (86)

*s&v chipsticks (107)

s/total = 1,539
burnt = 814
net = 725

 

[JanD]

Dreams are nothing to do with the content. They are about how they make you feel. How did you wake up feeling? Think about that and why your subconscious is wanting to bring those feelings to the surface right now. What's going on in your life that would make you feel that way if you allowed yourself to think about it/deal with it.

This is my understanding anyway - others may well tell you differently xx

 

[summergurl]

Thanks Jan. I woke up feeling confused but slightly happy? I thought there was a chapter of my life that was well and truely closed but recently because I've seen & spoke to this person again its come to the forefront and i've realised I never got closure from it so i'm guessing thats why its beginning to play on my mind again. There is nothing I can do about getting closure on what happened so I guess i'm guna have to store it away again lol

Run today was fab. New personal 6miler best 1:07:56 Felt great - my body definatly loves and performs much better with a 4day break. Gives me a pace of 11m19s a mile. If I could keep that pace in the race then i'm laughing.

Only a couple of knee twinges during my final mile but thats cuz i'm having to step up onto some high kurbs but other than that all good

 

[JanD]

Brilliant run then hon ! Looks like you're really finding your way - I'm really pleased for you.

If you need closure from something and it's not actually possible to do in/with the situation/person there is a techinique you can use which generally works really well. Some people find they need to do it more than once or need to do it every now and then but I've never heard anyone say it had no effect.

Visualise yourself standing on one side of a river and the other person (situation, whatever) standing on the other. See that you are joined together by chords ('the ties that bind'). These would normally link your solar plexus with theirs if it's a person - linking you emotionally.
Then visualise someone .... now this is your choice, I would ask and visualise St Michael with his sword. You can choose saints, angels, a real person you trust maybe a brother, maybe your Nan? Even yourself ... but visualise this person using a huge sword and bringing it down on the chords over and over again until they're severed.
What often happens then is that either you or the other person will fall backwards as the ties that bind you are broken. The first time I did this the other person actually flew away like a balloon that you let go without tying the knot in it.
It's very liberating honestly.

It's best to do this just before you go to sleep if you can. Try to give yourself permission to let this go as well. It may take a bit of practice, as I say you may need to do it more than once but I don't like the idea of you burying anything away again so it's at least worth a try! xxx

 

[summergurl]

Shall defo be giving that a try in the morning before going to sleep, thanks sweetie I can see how that would work so let's hope it works for me too! Xx

 

[JanD]

You only have to let it xx

 

[summergurl]

Tuesday 17th May

*6mile run (1:07:56 pace 11m19s p/m 814cals burnt)

B- porridge, s.smilk, spoon sugar (299)

L- spinach & ricotta tortellini (tossed in some butter) lettuce, cucumber, spring onions, creamy coleslaw, slice cheddar (654)

lf yog (68 )

D- meal bar (220)

*banana after run (105)
*ww cookies (86)

*s&v chipsticks (107)

s/total = 1,539
burnt = 814
net = 725

Just munched a packet of salt n vinegar chipsticks .. I love tortellini but its not as satisfying as my usual meat, pots & salad/veg!

Still ok cal wise today but thats not the point really :giggle:

 

[summergurl]

Confession mini binge...just scoffed 3jaffa cakes & a fox's cream biccie before leaving for work.

 

[JanD]

Hmmmmm - well okay - it WAS a mini one though - so that's good eh??!!

Hopefully that's it now!

I've been to bed and got up again as DH is being an @rsehole - for a change (not!) ........ really can't be bothered going into it - suffice to say we're better with a bit of distance for a while! Trouble is I'm knackered but lying in bed FUMING isn't condusive to helping that situation .. ESPECIALLY when he's lying there snoring his head off totally oblivious!!

:sigh:!!!!

Hope you have a good night hon xx

 

[summergurl]

Yup that's it! What's done is done scales might not like me thur tho! Lol

Awww sorry your that mad you can't sleep I hope you manage to grab some shut eye soon! Are you Kipling out on the couch now?xxx

 

[JanD]

Yeeer sort of - feeling like I might be able to sleep now - provided himself's gone off & doesn't reawaken into @rseholedome when I crawl back into bed!

Also got a sudden bee in my bonnet about having a last ditch attempt to possibly reconcile my kids with their father so have just composed a letter to him. Don't know whether I'll send it coz if he shares it with his wife it'll only cause trouble. However the very fact that I've said he can and should would probably stop him!
I don't know why that's suddenly come up for me except for my eldest now going through this break up and it doesn't seem right to me that he hasn't got all the support he should have - all because wife no 2 is such a control freak. The adopted boys don't even know he exists. Hey - that's fine in my book - but it's just not right.

Oh dear - think I'd better go to bed!!! xx

 

[summergurl]

Not at all Jan, its always better to get stuff off your chest do you think part of why DH is how he is tonight is because of the letter?

Either way I know you'll do whatever you feel is right. Sod wife number 2 this letter is for your kids, who should be a priority for both of you not just one. Hopefully he will see sense if you do decide to send it.

And I hope your son is getting along ok despite everything

:hug99: xxx

 

[JanD]

Thanks honey ... no DH's mood is nowt to do with the above coz he knows nothing about it yet. I've just sent it to him so he'll see it tomorrow - he doesn't interfere with what i think's right for the kids anyway - openly admits he doesn't have a clue.

I hope the ex sees sense too - trouble is he's always been quite happy to fall under any handy thumb ... that's why I couldn't be with him - nothing to respect - anything for a quiet life and all that. Just so sad the kids miss out! While wifey no2 swans along quite happy!

Oh dear - I'm off to bed, hoping I don't wake too early or I'll be grumpy tomorrow too!!

(Sometimes I wake up feeling grumpy - but most often I try to leave him alone!! ) xxx