2013 the year to lose 100lbs+, 19lbs gone exactly 100lbs to go :D

[madmuppet]

For 'overeating', youve done pretty well lol Pretty much all healthy choices and avoided some seriously bad issues! I seriously feel your pain about the no motivation, I guess this is why there are so many statistics about people stopping their diets mid feb lol cos it gets so hard to stick to it that long.

Maybe we should both write some lists to help us.

I am thinking:
Why do you want to lose weight?
What do you hate about being obese?
What is stopping you?

What do you reckon?

x

Sounds good to me hun I shall sit and have a good think and do a post with a list later on x

You are doing really well, nearly a stone in a month is amazing for anyone. Keep it up, here to follow

Welcome Paul

Are you ok? Xx

I'm ok thanks hun, will be alot better after next week my next post shall show you all to the extent of a binge eek but hey i'm still here, it's in the past and today is a new day

Thanks everyone back on track ish x

 

[madmuppet]

Ok lets face the ugly truth and start with yesterdays food diary :break_diet:

9.30am
6 snack sausage rolls
1 bag of peanut m&ms
2 packets mini chedders

7pm
1 small hot and sassy pizza from the takeaway
1 snack bag minstels
2 creme eggs
haribo star mix
2 large glasses fanta

Practically no water drunk at all and worst of all no exercise

So lets start as to how yesterday went so so badly wrong.

Thursday night was a grumpy nightmare with hubby, I ended up spending most of the night in tears once he had gone to bed trying to work out what i want, need to do etc and eventually went to bed about 5am obviously this didnt boad well for friday getting up again at 7 and sorting the boys out for school, woke up a emotional wreak basically took T to school hit the shop on way home and ate 1st lot of rubbish felt pants had a bath and then headed round to my mates to sit and have yet another cry but also a bloody good chat got home around 2.30pm to the house that needed to get sorted before having all the sprogs here for a sleepover must say that it certainly got sorted in time which was something sort of a miracle. And then ordered takeawy for the kids and went to pick it up as well as a list of things from the shop and ended up getting 2nd lot of rubbish and just not caring whilst i ate it.

So lets annalize this shall we... did i enjoy any of said food in all honesty apart from the creme eggs no not at all i was eating just for the sake of it. the morning crap was just my way of coping it didnt achieve anything apart from making me feel worst and feeling like i had thrown away all the hard work i have done in the past 4 weeks, making me feel like i have proved to myself i cant do this long term if it takes just 4 weeks to let my emotions get the better of me. It didnt make me feel better, make me and hubby happy, clean the house etc it was just a complete waste of time and energy and wasted calories!
The evening food well 1st i wasnt even hungrey but it didnt stop me from having the pizza which i just ate and couldnt even tell you if it tasted nice of not the chocolate and sweets just got eaten again i suppose they were nice but i didnt get that mmm yummy ness that i would normally get from chocolate so in saying that perhaps i have made some sort of progress that i can leave chocolate from now on as its didnt give me any satisfaction and so i will just have to remember that when the next time comes as we all know there will be a next time i just have to deal with it better when it does happen.

So i have woke up today with a house full of kids wanting american pancakes for breakfast so spent a hour making about 20 odd pancakes and didnt eat a single one Yesterday is yesterday it happened i cant change it but i can change today and get back to it and change the damage that yesterday will have done. I could let it get to me and carry on with how i was but im not going to let this beat me! I'm feeling calmer if thats possible today and orthough i havent done my shred ( a group of 13/14yr olds really dont need to witness that today ) Im feeling ok about it today im going to concentrate on wise food choices and water intake with a possible 5/10miles on my bike later and then tomorrow i have to go food shopping and see my parents as they phoned mid melt down yesterday and so i need to explain to them some things but i will be busy so thats a good thing.

Well thats friday done yes i probabley could go into it all further but ive run out of time and need to go and off load some of the kids back at there houses lol.

Thanks everyone the fact your all there with me helped me come on today and face facts. Im ok just got a few extra calories to burn

Love you guys xx

 

[sapphirestara]

Honey, did u point it all? Because I don't think you went too crazy at all. You're attitude is bang on too! You did it. It's done. You've squares up to it and you're moving on!

You're ok. You're still beautiful and lovely. We all still think the world of you. Nothing has changed. Today is a new day. You can get back on track. Promise.

Love u too! Xxxx

 

[mybodyisacage]

I agree with tara, the only thing I would add is that you said what about the long term and what foes this say about how you will cope? Well I think you should see this as possitive. How well you got back on it.

Life is not perfect. You will not make constantly perfect decisions. But you will deal with it!

I have messed up again today and I know I am out for a family meal tmrw so I can't fix it til Monday! And then I'm going out on weds. Must get straight back on the diet wagon on thurs or I'm f****d!

Xxx

 

[sapphirestara]

I agree with tara, the only thing I would add is that you said what about the long term and what foes this say about how you will cope? Well I think you should see this as possitive. How well you got back on it.

Life is not perfect. You will not make constantly perfect decisions. But you will deal with it!

I have messed up again today and I know I am out for a family meal tmrw so I can't fix it til Monday! And then I'm going out on weds. Must get straight back on the diet wagon on thurs or I'm f****d!

Xxx

Same goes for you Laura! Still love u! You're still just as lovely and gorgeous as you were yesterday! If not more so!!

 

[mybodyisacage]

Yeah but madmuppet is so good at getting back on it! I on the other hand...

'any excuse' comes to mind haha

 

[sapphirestara]

You can do it!! Little miss gym bunny. X

 

[madmuppet]

Honey, did u point it all? Because I don't think you went too crazy at all. You're attitude is bang on too! You did it. It's done. You've squares up to it and you're moving on!

You're ok. You're still beautiful and lovely. We all still think the world of you. Nothing has changed. Today is a new day. You can get back on track. Promise.

Love u too! Xxxx

Have no idea how to point hun i just went on the amount of calories it all added up to and the fact i felt completely ugg and dissappointed in myself once id finished

Intend to be completely back on track tomorrow have let myself down with the water intake but went shopping today and got some flavoured water to try and get me back into the swing of it . xx

I agree with tara, the only thing I would add is that you said what about the long term and what foes this say about how you will cope? Well I think you should see this as possitive. How well you got back on it.

Life is not perfect. You will not make constantly perfect decisions. But you will deal with it!

I have messed up again today and I know I am out for a family meal tmrw so I can't fix it til Monday! And then I'm going out on weds. Must get straight back on the diet wagon on thurs or I'm f****d!

Xxx

Thanks hun your right i need to start seeing some things as a positive like i havent given up im still here and im going to succeed this time as are you all to

You will be fine hun wake up monday with a determined attitude and with the knowledge of wednesday being a bit more leaniate food wise and you will be fine you havent done to badly with your choices at all so come on tomorrow morning lets get our head back in the game and make it a good week despite of wednesday ok hun xx

Yeah but madmuppet is so good at getting back on it! I on the other hand...

'any excuse' comes to mind haha

lol any excuse was my motto before this time i use it for the day and then give myself a big kick up the arse the following day, this time its took me a couple of days to get back on it and tomorrow i shall be kicking my self for missing 3 days of shred! not impressed but hey mondays weigh in is sure to give me the motivation i need to do it and my bike xx

 

[madmuppet]

Food diary Sat

5 crackerbreads with tuna and cucumber
1 bowl of porridge
2 ski mousses

Food diary Sun
1 shake
1 snack bag of chinese rice crackers
spanish style chicken bake (more chicken then potatoe on my plate)
a few pieces of popcorn from the kids lol
and more then likely a yogurt later on .

Well not to bad a weekend still not feeling like im completley back on track but am feeling happier with myself, Water intake is on my list tomorrow getting it back to a good level as i have struggled withgetting it back to how i had been.
Saturday food i was struggling to 1 eat and 2 make the right choice hence not alot consumed saturday which is not to bad but also is not good either.
Today i got up downed some water and then a shake and went out with the folks to do the shopping, morrisons had mullerlights 10 for £3 so im a happy chicken, the only thing i probable shouldnt have brought was crunchy nut cornflakes for the boys as since i got home they have spoke to me every time ive walked though the kitchen lol i may have to have a small bowl tomorrow for lunch
My plan for tomorrow is to take kids to school and then come home and hit the shred before seeing my mate and then when i get home at lunch time hit my bike for a 30mins at least, food will be shake for breakfast and lunch or possible some cereal and then ham salad for tea. Whatever the scales say will not alter the fact im still here and am determined that the figure will be less next week.

I had a thought today that on wednesday after i have seen hubbys caseworker im going to go and treat myself to some new jeans in a size 18 and possible a new top as the shop yours is just around the corner from where i need to go i thought perfect thing to cheer me up plus as i will be getting them in a 18 i have to be extra good to be able to wear them lol x

 

[mybodyisacage]

I know you dont feel like your quite back on it yet, but your food seems really good! I can also understand the fact that if you cant make a positive choice you dont eat at all. Sometimes it is just easier avoiding food altogether and hopefully, that will happen less and less often.

small bowl of cereal with skimmed or semi milk doesnt sound too bad. From my experience, if you dont give into the little cravings, that you can manage sensibly, you just end up going mad and bingeing on terrible things that you didnt really want in the first place!

You deserve to get yourself a new outfit, you have done so well so far! I think that is a really good idea, especially if the meeting is difficult for you. You might normally make yourself feel better with food, but you are planning ahead and you are going to treat yourself with something different. Very sensible and just as good!

Okay, Im going to check in with you tmrw morning, before I head off to uni, or maybe when Im sat in my lecture I will give you 5 reasons why I want to do this and you can give me 5 reasons! That way we can really start our mondays off positively!

x

 

[madmuppet]

Maybe we should both write some lists to help us.

I am thinking:
Why do you want to lose weight?
What do you hate about being obese?
What is stopping you?

What do you reckon?

x

Here we go then hun my list

Why do i want to lose weight?
there are quite a few reasons to go here, I want to lose weight primary to be healthy and live a better life for myself and the kids.
I want to lose weight as i am sick and tired of wearing the same old clothes and have lost all interest in getting anything new as i simple hate anything i try on and think whats the point, so i want to lose weight to be able to buy nicer clothes that arent just black (mainly all my clothes are black or grey).
I dont want to develop diabetes which at my weight and family history i could quite easily.
Ive seen my sister go from being so thin to being huge and bigger then me now and what it has done to her that i dont want to be the same, and perhaps if she sees me losing it she will eventually do the same.
I want to like the person staring back at me in the mirror rather then feel repulsed.
I want feel happier about myself.

What do i hate about being obese?
Again the limited clothes and the fact that we obese people seem to have to pay that much more for clothes.
I hate clothes shopping at my current size and want to be able to enjoy it again not only in the shops i shop in now but in new ones to, as nav as it might sound i want to go to primark and actually be able to try things on lol.
I hate that in the summer i always have a jacket or a cardi on even though im sweating my tits off just so people dont see my arms. I have already said that in 5 years time if im still not happy with my arms then im going to have a op on them some how, i would rather have a scar on my arms then the bingo wings flapping about!
I hate the fact that i sweat so much in the summer as well which is made worst by my ancixety which in turn is made worst as i think everyone is staring at me which they probemly are due to wearing to much when its boiling out, a circle of no hope if i stay how i am lol.
I hate how my thighs rub together when i walk so wearing a dress or skirt is impossible without wearing leggings/tights or shorts underneath them.
I hate how i have like 2 spare tyres instead of just 1 stomach lol.
I hate how i think everyone is judging me by my size (even if they are not)
I hate being the token fat friend.
I hate how im always behind the camera instead of in front of it especially when it comes to photos of the kids and im not in any of them.
I hate how being obese holds me back and rather then living im just exsisting though my life rather then enjoying it and living it to the full.
I hate feeling ashamed of myself.

Whats stopping me?

In truth absolutly nothing except myself! But what does stop me...
Mostly my moods, I am certainly a emotional eater i eat when im sad, when im stressed and worried, when im board, when im happy you name it i eat to mark the occasion. This i really noticed last year when a family member was seriously ill in hospital all i did was eat, i would come home from visiting and spend hours in the kitchen baking cupcakes and tray bakes, brownies and all sorts of yummy things it got to the point i was visiting the neighbours every other day with different bits for them, the kids loved it but it did me no favours at all. Sadly i also love baking when im stressed it relaxes me and helps my mind switch off for a while something i am missing at the mo but have been to scared to spend the evening baking things incase i submerge to the yummy delights once cooked
My hubby, now he doesnt stop me but he can makes things hard for me, some nights he sits there munching on biscuits and every time he offers me one i say no and each time he gets that little bit more fed up until i eat 1, 2, 3 or more just to shut him up and please him. His mood swings effect how im feeling and bring on the whole im angry hurt sad emotions and my only friend is food cycle.
Being scared yep thats right Im scared that im going to fail like every other time, im scared im not going to suit being slim, Im scared that being slim will change me, im scared that im going to be left with excess skin, Im scared that i will change and that i wont like myself slim even though i dont like myself very much right now anyway. Im scared to walk into a "normal" shop and pick out clothes.
Lack of motivation and willpower to continue long term so its easier to give up first rather then actually see if i can succeed at this.

Hows that for a list hun xx

 

[madmuppet]

Okay, Im going to check in with you tmrw morning, before I head off to uni, or maybe when Im sat in my lecture I will give you 5 reasons why I want to do this and you can give me 5 reasons! That way we can really start our mondays off positively!

x

Lol we must have been writing at the same time i seemed to have wrote a list but yep sounds good to me im sure i can think of more reasons tomorrow hun

The meeting is going to be hard i think but you never know it might not be and i might come away feeling lots better either way your right i would normal turn to food so planning ahead is definetly the way to go and i love jeans and desperatly need a pair that doesnt sag around my arse lmao!
xx

 

[mybodyisacage]

That is such a good list hun, I think mine is going to be pretty much identical to yours! lol How do you feel after writing it?

I will pop mine up tmrw when I have a bit more time.

Maybe tmrw you could pick a top 5 reasons?

x

 

[madmuppet]

That is such a good list hun, I think mine is going to be pretty much identical to yours! lol How do you feel after writing it?

I will pop mine up tmrw when I have a bit more time.

Maybe tmrw you could pick a top 5 reasons?

x

Felt pretty good hun aswell as peed off with myself for not having stuck to the dieting lark years before lol but its good to get some of it all out and staring at ya in black and white

Top 5 reasons

To be able to look in the mirror and like whats looking back at me
To be able to go clothes shopping with my best mate and not feel ashamed at hiding the sizes and actually enjoy it
To look great in photos with the kids
To be healthy
To not hold back on living my life any longer

xx

 

[madmuppet]

Just a quick update on my weigh in .....

STS im so surprised really thought it would have been a gain so am really happy to see the 18 still on my scales

Looking forward to a less stressful and unhappy week back on track and there's no stopping me (well im keeping my fingers and toes crossed for a great week anyway lol)

x

 

[mybodyisacage]

Hey. Thats really good. You obviously pulled it back these last couple days. You deserve it. You've worked hard to make up for your slip up

Onwards and downwards x

 

[madmuppet]

Food diary
small bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes with 1% milk
1 mullerlight
2 eggs scrabbled with red onion, red pepper, chorizo, 4 cherry tomatoes and a tiny sprinkling of cheese
another yogurt with 2 digestive biscuits

Ok so not a bad day no shake as i only went and forgot to get some more when i went shopping so as i wanted some cereal i saved my shakes for tomorrow and wednesday and shall get some more when im in town.
Have done no exercise today again grrr woke up this morning and was so not feeling it stomach felt pants so thats tomorrows goal i shall get back into it!

Noticed today how my wedding ring is now loose not sure weather this is a good thing or not lol but am taking it as a good thing and at least my fingers have lost some fat

Hope everyones had a good day xx

 

[mybodyisacage]

pretty healthy day there with a nice bit of variety!

ohhh I guess its a good thing! my mum lost loads of weight off her hands, from her experience I would recommend wearing your ring on a chain and not getting it resized til your settled in a new weight! ends up quite expensive! lol

I hope I lose weight off my fingers, they are massive! lol

x

 

[madmuppet]

pretty healthy day there with a nice bit of variety!

ohhh I guess its a good thing! my mum lost loads of weight off her hands, from her experience I would recommend wearing your ring on a chain and not getting it resized til your settled in a new weight! ends up quite expensive! lol

I hope I lose weight off my fingers, they are massive! lol

x

Definitley going to hold on the resizing till im at a happy size and weight, only thing im bummed about is going to have to have it re engraved aswell doh! lol oh well little things in the bigger scheme of things

Day 16 of shred done and dusted today so glad to have got my head back into that now 14 days to go and then i'll do my measurements again. Off to grab some brekkie and then hit the bank with the bills before work.

Hope everyone has a great day xx

 

[Rakelnahe]

Hey muppet well done, STS after you've been a bit naughty shows that you worked it all right back off, well done It'll be a loss next time!

I gained a lot of weight since getting married so I'm actually waiting to be able to wear my wedding ring again! If my fingers continue to slim down all the way through weight loss it may well end up being too big for me :sigh: It's titanium so can't be resized at all!