Alex's Diary - No big goals, just taking one day at a time!

[Alex_1978]

Oops, some chips just fell into my mouth. Along with 2 slices of bread and butter. Nothing like a bit of carb on carb action for comfort
Our staff canteen closes today, so we decided to celebrate the occasion with chips. To be honest they were a bit bland, but I feel pleasantly stodged up now...

Anyway, here's the diary for yesterday:
Porridge
Snack sized raisins
WW tomato soup with a slice of chunky bread
An apple
Alpen light bar
2 Dalepak vegetable grills with a jacket spud and a few peas
WW choc brownie ice cream desert.

Drawing a line under the chip episode now....see, I did it!

 

[kae]

oooopsie! lol you'll have to be extra good now!


hehehe
xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Alex_1978]

Looks like that line I drew wasn't strong enough....I went to see the nurse, found that I'd only lost a pound in three weeks, and went straight to the co-op looking for something nice for my tea.
Came out with a curry and a toffee muffin....the muffin was lovely but I didn't really fancy the curry, I was just following old patterns really...stuffing myself with unhealthy stuff when I'm feeling crap.
I suppose if there is a positive slant on today, it's this: I didn't block out all thoughts of the diet out while I was eating, and I didn't get the same rush I usually feel when I'm eating forbidden food. I just felt sad that I'd given in to old patterns of behaviour, and disappointed that I wasn't quite strong enough to break the pattern...yet
So, that's that, still feeling crappy but tomorrow's another day.
I have no choice than to make this work, so I have to pull myself together and keep plodding on x

 

[kae]

awww hun! huuugs! The main thing is that you identified that you were fallin back into old habits an you can remember in future that it didnt taste as good as you thought!

We all have funnny patches like this the main thing is it just a bad day or weekend and not week or even a month!

You done so well and come so far hun! you should be proud of that! I know you can do it!

love katie
xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[purple_kathryn]

If only exercise cheered as up as much as food!

Hmm maybe you could do some pampering instead? Hot bath? pedicure?

 

[KittyBling]

It's one day, Alex! One day on this long journey, in the long term no harm will be done. Having said that I am still sending a metaphorical baseball bat to you so you can beat yourself over the head with it.:copon:
Only joking of course, have a better day today.

KB x

 

[Alex_1978]

Thanks my lovelies x
I'm back on track today...think I might take up PK's suggestion and do a bit of pampering later...I'm probably gonna be out tomorrow night, so it'd be nice to have nice nails or feet, or both

Well I'm gonna write down what I ate yesterday, not because I really want to remember it, but there's no point missing all the bad bits out of a diary is there?!

Porridge
S&V snackaJack
Chips, 2 slices of bread and butter, 1 sachet of red sauce
Alpen Light bar
Chicken Dopiaza (thought I'd picked up a Lamb Bhuna so that was a bit of a surprise!)
Basmati rice
Naan bread
Toffee muffin
Rasberry ripple ice cream mousse thingy

OOps!!

 

[Alex_1978]

Today's been much better:
Porridge
Morrisons Eat Smart vegetable chilli (very nice!)
Mini chocolate cake (180 cals - but I sacrificed my morning AND afternoon snacks to eat it)
A bit of ham from the fridge after work (I'm not buying any more after this pack is finished)
About 4 extra strong mints
And I've just had a lovely dinner....nearly took a pic of it but thought that was going a bit far! I had a Bernard Matthews turkey steak (less than 150 cals) 3 new potatoes, brocolli, cauli, carrots, swede, 2 mini yorkshire puds, and gravy......

Gonna set myself some new goals now for April, but nothing too drastic. I've got loads coming up this month, so I need to stay realistic!

 

[Alex_1978]

Well... what a weekend!
Didn't get chance to post yesterday, because I was in bed virtually all day after a night out on Friday and I still feel a bit rough now actually! God, I really am getting too old for this drinking malarkey (but I think I said that last time didn't I?!)
I had a good time though, and I met a man!!! I don't know whether anything will happen though...he said he was gonna ring me last night and I haven't heard anything yet, so it's not looking too good (although there were phone issues as he lost his on the night out) but he seemed really genuine, and he said lots of nice things to me.
Me and my ex were hardly love's young dream so it was nice to have a bit of fun, to feel attractive and have someone pay me nice compliments, so even if nothing else happens, it did boost my self-confidence a lot.

Anyway, onto the dieting stuff...
Friday was a pretty good day (except for the drink). I can't remember everything I ate, but this is what I do remember:
Porridge
WW soup and two WW mini baguette things with a tiny bit of butter
2 Jacket spuds (small-ish ones) with tuna mayo
Snack sized raisins

Vodka, vodka, vodka, vodka, lager, lager, vodka, snogging, snogging, vodka, snogging (or something like that!)

And yesterday:
Nothing at all except half a granola bar (100cals)
I just really couldn't stomach anything else!!!!

And I'm pleased to say that I acheived my lent challenge, which was to only weigh myself on Wednesdays, with no scale hopping in between!! I celebrated this by popping onto the scales this morning, and I've lost 6lbs since wednesday! I think that's dehydration combined with not eating yesterday, so I doubt it'll stick until this Wednesday, but it was nice to see that figure on the scale
Now where's that Easter egg!?....

 

[KittyBling]

Snogging?? Think of the EXERCISE! No wonder you've lost 6 pounds! Great news about the man and the compliments even if nothing does come of it. I know what you mean about being too old, I just can't do it any more, I didn't used to suffer from hangovers but now it's a whole other story... But if it puts you off your food.... Anyway, have a great Easter, easy on the chocolate and we can confess all our sins tomorrow. Hope the phone rings :love:

 

[purple_kathryn]

I could never do it to begin with. i don't think my body can process alcohol very well because I have like a tipping point and if I go over it - if I'm really luck I spend the whole of the next day feeling like I want to throw up.

A really bad one is when I spend the whole day throwing up and the day after that just feeling like i want to

Needless to say I try to avoid drinking to excess!!

 

[Alex_1978]

The phone still hasn't rung....:cry:
Why would a man insist on giving you his number, and taking yours, and then not ring! Honestly, they're a different species! I keep telling myself that if it's not meant to be, it won't be, but I've been obsessing all day about this and it's driving me nuts!
I even convinced myself that I might have written my number down wrong, so I actually went and examined the imprint on my wooden table....how sad is that! I can't believe I've just written it actually - I feel like some kind of psycho stalker!!!

Today's been hit and miss on the food front. I haven't taken my Xenical because my stomach still feels dodgy from the drinking sesh, and I fancied a bit of butter on my toast this morning.

So I had toast for breakfast with Lurpack Light
A pack of Rolos for lunch (!!) - from Easter egg
Steak with jacket potato for tea, but I didn't cut the fat off, and I had butter on my spud.

Not the best day ever, but seeing as I didn't eat anything yesterday it's not too bad.

 

[KittyBling]

Doesn't sound too bad Alex! And why don't you be a modern woman and ring him? Unconventional I know but why do we have to wait for them all the time. "Hadn't heard from you and wondered how you are?" sort of thing, and gauge how he feels by his reaction. Just a thought...maybe a couple of vodkas first? Have a great day,

KB x

 

[Alex_1978]

He texted
Apparently he's been in bed for two days feeling like sh1t (his words not mine) but he said that he really enjoyed himself the other night and that he'd like to meet up again soon
So now my stomach feels like a washing machine on a spin cycle, and I can't eat anything!! Anxiety is the only thing that makes me feel like this...I can eat in almost any other circumstances!

KB, I would've rung him, but he lost his phone the night we met so if I called and he didn't answer, I wouldn't have known if that was because he was ignoring me, or because the phone was still lost.

Hopefully it's all turned out for the best though, and the anxiety induced weight loss can't be a bad thing either!!

 

[KittyBling]

YAAAAAAYYYYY!! Result! Oh I'm all excited for you.

 

[kae]

woooop woooooop! just catchin up with your diary! hehe yeayyyy sounds like u had a fab weekend! and im sooo excited for you too! lol

wel done on the weght loss!

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Alex_1978]

Well I've weighed in this morning, and I lost 6.25lbs!!! WOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
That takes me back into the 16 stone bracket, and back into a pair of trousers that wouldn't even fasten a couple of months ago!
Now I just have to keep it off...I've got a couple of things coming up over the next week, so it's gonna be tough, but I really don't want to go back into the 17s...

 

[KittyBling]

Well done, Alex that's great news, it feels fab when you get in to a new stone bracket, and makes you all the more determined not to see those numbers again.

KB x

 

[purple_kathryn]

Very nice Alex!!

 

[Kes]

well done, and im sure with some will power you wont go back into the 17's!!!!