Belle's Journey

[bellefrogette]

Another goodgirl thing I did yesterday was down load the complete pdf work book of women god and food. I tried filling it on line via Oprah.com but I really wanted to write with pen on cream paper, so tomorrow at uni I'll print it all out.

 

[bellefrogette]

keep smiling

 

[bellefrogette]

keep going

 

[bellefrogette]

just checked 21 days, well 22 really till I pack my bag and check in. I can make those 21 days something special really power through.

 

[bellefrogette]

Review

its 1.40 am and I am not in bed..
poor habits need strong ju ju to break, and I missed the last bus home

didn't drink enough warm water

walked about 30 mins no other exercise

have to take my antibiotics before bed

flat is cold


didn't go into the gym cos I did not get out first thing

first thing did some green juicing and froze in small bottles- good move.

had just one cup of hot whole milk at starbucks, usually 2 or even 3.
1 CD
some nibbles-

my mood was average

 

[bellefrogette]

:coffee:/3

it's almost 8.30 am, way too late to be getting up and I'd still be sleeping but for the cat. Drat.

No Uni today but I do have to make something of it. or make something of myself. when I woke I was aware how manytimes I wake tense- gotta do something with the day.

well forget the day, what about me.what would I like to do.

This came up in a class last night, I wish I could attend, technically I could but I would have to change my dates and that is going to cost..sigh. maybe he'll have on again later in the year.

 

[bellefrogette]

but I could spend part of today seeing what I can find on audio or youtube about this

 

[bellefrogette]

This in an ongoing today entry.

 

[bellefrogette]

keep smiling

 

[bellefrogette]

end of day, got much done including at last sorting out my internet speed and antivirus..but i did not venture out at all, nor did i nap and i want to sleep now, i do not want to push out , push this body, I want to sleep,snug like the cat...the course at the centre will run again..i need to take care of me. Night night world.:zz:

 

[bellefrogette]

Inspirational woman of the dayMaya Angelou

 

[bellefrogette]

I wish

 

[bellefrogette]

keep on keeping on

 

[bellefrogette]

Strange but true,

 

[bellefrogette]

well it was a blow out waiting to happen, but 2 things

1- I did not eat over it
2-she now knows where my boundaries are and not respecting them will be painful to her.its nothing I need do, But I am too much of an adult to be controlled where there is no need. Some of the most needy ones are the most vicious when they are rejected..and that is something to remeber

and yes, I had a still day cos I protected that stillness...plus I got home early

 

[bellefrogette]

and now time for bed..normally on friday I would trugde my tired body to the centre for mediation night and by the time I leave I would be so exhausted I would want to sleep at the bus top.Absurd really, how can my body heal or lose weight when I keep it so tired.

Night folks and no night eating

 

[bellefrogette]

:character00148:/10

Saturday 27 November 2010


today I am going somewhere, where there is a great emphasis on us all eating together. Ha!

Yesterday, I really get it that some folk are just naturally tense and then look for somewhere to , someone to dump is all..and that being calm does not mean me rolling over and taking it. Remaining like still water running deep can mean telling the person that I cannot have the conversation with them. And it all means that I have acted strongly and the need to eat over it, simply is no longer thier.

I am thinking here of geneen roth and what see say about weight gain and womens relationships with food, that maybe, just maybe for some, it will become a doorway to something so profound that it becomes the blessing in their life.

so where was I a year ago

Sunday Nov 29 - Goal 9/10


I have the right supplies for the week and going swimming. I have not been swimming for ages.

It’s not all in my head, people do sneer and look on disapprovingly at the swimming pool. It doesn't help that my swimming costume is fire engine red. However folk have a right to sneer and I have a right to swim. I can’t go about blaming folk anymore for not thinking well of me.

It’s hard to accept but in a way it is all in my head. If I don’t care, it doesn’t matter what they think or feel. I just get on with my own health matters.

Inspirational woman Serena Williams, such a powerful vibrant body. And no, I don’t agree she has masculine body, because women’s bodies come in all types and I love the power of hers

And I still think serena has a powerhouse of a body and those who think women should all aspire to look like kate moss , do the varieties of beauty a diservice. Let kate moss look like kate moss and let Bella be Bella.

 

[bellefrogette]

I know what I am going to do tommorrow, but what of today

well this week I want to do 810 and I want the extras to be very alkaline, very green and very juiced, a big class of green jucie, It might well take me out of ketosis but my body does need the alkalinity.

can I be excited about this, can I be serene about this, can I welcome this..can I walk my journey without the battle , without the fight, without the angst, but with clarity and focus and purpose, welcoming each day as it comes knowing I have an oportunity each day to create myself the way I want to be?

I think so.

Likewise can I keep my calm when those about me are going bonkers? I know I can if I make that choice and back it up with action.

 

[bellefrogette]

another movie I must see. wonder if netflix has it...

 

[bellefrogette]

/10


I had a huge salad yesterday at lunch at the budhist center, it has everything , but I feel upon those greens like it was icecream and butter sponge cake. And afterwards, my stomach felt warm and great..and I slept most of the afternoon through the meditation and this morning as usal I checked in for my kitchen graph and

No change. I did not put on a thing still
/10

but I had gone to bed feeling even a gain would be worth the sheer pleasure my body felt at the green raw fresh feast I gave it yesterday.



Kindness heals


People often ask me what they can do to fix their “weight problem.” .... But here’s the thing: We can’t fix or get rid of a part of ourselves. The relationship with food, no matter how conflicted or painful, is a way that we are expressing a part of ourselves. ...If we want to change what we are doing with food, we must first understand it, turn towards it, treat it with curiosity and tenderness. Isn’t it amazing that we keep eating past full? Isn’t if curious that although we make ourselves extremely uncomfortable, we keep doing the same thing again and again?

Think of the relationship with food as a way you are trying to get your own attention. Approach it and yourself as you would a child that acts out in the only way she knows. Only kindness heals. Nothing else will work...

Geneen Roth