Bethiee's Diary

[Bethiee]

Morning Elsa,

I'm having vague memories of Baldurs Gate but I think it's mostly just been in reference rather than actually been around someone who played it.

I like dungeon based questing board games like Heros Quest which is as close to d&d board games without being d&d.

Seeing as me and the Mr don't have many friends around here yet, we mostly stick to PC or playing Cthulhu GLOOM card game or Terry Pratchetts Disc World.

Im so tired today, feel like yesterday's strangeness has finally caught up with me. I also drank only 1.5-2L of water which is less by 1L of my normal intake.

Find anything that helps your tummy settle?

I think I'm in Ketosis but will see by the keto stix today. Boyfriend isn't having any side effects/symptoms apart from he says he goes to the toilet less than usual.

Goodluck starting up again next week. I'm sure you will do amazing!

 

[Elsa]

I love reading Terry Pratchett (read all the disc world books) didn't know there was a game though.)

In terms of the tummy thing I've recently discovered pro-biotecs (I was a late starter) they have helped me a lot. I also make sure I have a small spoonful of Psyllium Husk powder in one of my shakes each day. It just helps things keep moving smoothly.

 

[Bethiee]

Thanks for the tip!
Id never even heard of psyllium husk before looking into VLCD's.
Glad they work though in case tummy problems return.

I'm not at work today so going to hide in bed and sleep until I can't stay here any longer!

 

[Bethiee]

Not keen on vanilla shake as it's own item. Even tried making it with ice and extra water and it was still very "chalky".
Will keep using this as a whitener for iced/hot coffee from now on.

Got my Ketostix and drumroll please.....
I'm "moderately" in ketosis! So number 4 out of 6. Google tells me this is good. It signifies I am not dehydrated and I am in a "good range" for fat burning.

I'm happy! It's the little victories that keep you going.

Gonna make the boyfriend pee on a stick when he comes home, awwh his first pee stick test. Who would of though he would ever have had to do one

I hope hes in the same range as me, will update this evening with his results.

Not going to measure myself again until Friday and see what happens.

Yesterday I ate:
Banana shake
Caramel crunch bar
Attempted sweet + sour noodle pot but couldn't handle the texture. Ate 1/2
Had black bean beef pot in the evening.

Todays menu:
Vanilla shake
Toffee nut raisin bar
Spaghetti bol
Chocolate shake, may make as hot chocolate on the sofa.

Current goals:
Get to 45 inches by 1st July.
Get to 38 inches by 19th August.

When I hit 34 inches I want to stop and maintain loss instead of "hardcoring it" if I feel the weight is distributed evenly and I feel happy there.

(I may want to push for 30 but unsure as of yet)

34 inches is a size 16 usually.

As a top heavy lady, I find "thinspiration" hard to come across, this lady (linked below) is definitely a body goal to strive towards for me!
Shes got a little pudge but she looks healthy, happy and drop dead gorgeous.

http://fullerfigurefullerbust.com/2016/04/06/thinking-of-entering-curvy-kates-star-in-a-bra/

 

[Bethiee]

JUST GOT OFFERED A NEW JOB WITH NETWORK RAIL!
I'm starting in 2 weeks. I'm so happy and excited. This is a proper career role that I really really wanted!
Also I got £630 coming in a cheque from EasyJet for a cancelled flight from Crete last month!

Today is my favourite day in a long time. I really needed this boost!
<3

 

[Minerva]

Congratulations on the job offer! That's fantastic

 

[Loz1986]

Congratulations on the new job. And well done on 4 inches - that's an amazing loss in 4 days! That's got to be a dress size at least?

And ha had for your boyfriend having to pee on a stick - it does sound funny!

 

[Bethiee]

No more checking until Friday but I doubt I would go down anymore.

Boyfriend is sad. He came out 100% negative on the ketostix and I'm showing as moderate.

Any suggestions? Each Exante pack is 20 carbs. Have 3 packs and a meal under 3 carbs an idea?

 

[Minerva]

From what I've observed around the forum, ketostix aren't always reliable. Personally they never worked for me and a few other people have remarked the same even though they were losing on their respective VLCD's as expected. So don't worry about it too much

 

[Bethiee]

Think he wants to do it another week or two then trial a week of 3 packs one meal as that is an option in the man plan.
http://m.exantediet.com/diet-plans/the-man-plan.list

Thinking maybe egg white, spinach and chicken omelette as the standard. Giving 2.7 of carbs but lots of protein.

Just throwing ideas around to give him some options as he's feeling a bit sorry for himself and is left feeling a little disheartened. Iv tried to put across this is still a low calorie diet so we should be losing based on the intake even if it isn't ketosis.

 

[Bethiee]

I'm gonna hit the cheese craving wall soon. I know it. I can feel it coming.
I love cheese so much.
I ordered some of this:
http://m.myprotein.com/sports-nutrition/high-protein-cheese-low-fat/11265872.html
To sprinkle on my spaghetti bol and carbonara to get my fix without derailing this whole diet.
Yeah extra max 100 calories isn't great however it's better than 400 calories for the same size serving and the fat content is better by around 32g per 100g...at only 2g.
In this diet I want to find better way to soothe my cravings instead of give into them completely and make me view my portion sizes and my intake differently. If it doesn't hinder ketosis and keeps me under 1k calories a day whilst still getting a minimum of 3 packs then I should be okay.
I'm not hungry. I know I'm not. However the will power is being tested. So I'm gonna test it back.

My favourite paneer cheese is nearly 900 calories per 220g. I was sad mostly. Sad because I never ever bothered to think twice in the past. I used to grill it in slices with a chilli mix and have it on a bed of rice.... sigh.

Every time we usually get good news we celebrate with a Chinese takeaway and a bottle of prosecco. Today was tough for that reason. Alex always makes me chocolate dipped strawberries when I get a new job, it's a little tradition that I adore but can't have this time round.

It's really sunk in the lifestyle change and it's making this evening harder than it should be.

Gonna sleep and see tomorrow with new eyes.
I can do this!
I'm awesome.
I can lose weight.

 

[Minerva]

If you feel you can control the extras to reasonable amounts, then I don't see the harm. This diet is tough. I can relate. You do have to manage those extras - but it sounds like you're keeping check on it and not letting it mess with things in your head. I've seen people have extras here and there and then those escalate to more and more over time until they give up completely. So long as you're aware of crooked thinking in that regard, I think you'll be ok.

It really is easy to overdo it with food without even realising. I am sometimes horrified when I really look at some things I eat + quantity and how much it all adds up to! I'm a fan of halloumi - but I don't have it often as all cheese is so calorific. I'm sorry you couldn't celebrate as you usually do, but, it's so worth it, you'll feel so much better in yourself in a few months time. It's also a thing to think about - why do we celebrate things with food? Why is food a reward? On occasion it's fine, but, could you spend that money you would have spent on a takeaway and the bottle of prosecco on something else? A new necklace, a new gaming mouse, a new game? It's a little reward and it won't be gone in one evening.

You can do this!

 

[Bethiee]

I know... but on diets in the past I have failed it's because of craving, then takeaway, then feeling crappy then cycle until no longer on diet.

I'm hoping if I just "trick" myself with giving myself what I want but the best version of it I could then I can keep myself going.

Limits are:
Still need 3 packs.
Never go over 1k calories for the day.
Never high in carbs/sugar/fats.
Never kick myself out of ketosis.
These "cheats" are exceptions. Not a daily thing.

Out of 6 days I have had chicken/eggs twice. However they were still within the plan on exante as they were low carb, under 200 calories and high in protein.

As long as it fits into my plan above then I should do great.

Me and Alex came from environments that thrived on food.
My grandma owned a pie shop for 20 years, both auntys own cafes, step mum is a chef, great grandma was a baker, my nan owned a pub and cooked all the food, my mum worked there too, etc then all the men are "foodies".
Any news, good or bad was an excuse for food/going out for dinner/baking something "special".

Alex grew up in central Hong Kong, getting street food everyday to and from school. Food is given as a gift for all sorts of occasions there.
His parents visited in the Autumn from Hong Kong and bought about 4 carrier bags of food. Cakes, sweets, deep fried savories etc..
So he came here for boarding school, already having a bad relationship with food, given crappy cooked relatively healthy school food, put him off more, went to uni, lived off of alcohol and takeaways then carried on uni habits.
All in between going to Hong Kong 8 weeks a year and eating everything he missed whilst in the UK.

 

[Bethiee]

Tummy is killing me.

:'(

I just want comfort food, cuddles and bed. However boyfriend is working until 8.30 (home around 9pm).

I won't stop dieting. I won't.

 

[NunuD]

You can do it Bethiee!

When I am craving food of some description (like I am right this second) I have a list of things I choose from that are designed to take my mind off it.

First a big old bottle of water. Down the hatch.

Then I choose from : click into a dungeon or raid online. Put a movie on and completely clean and revarnish my nails with two coats and s top coat. Run a bath and sit in it. Put on a face mask and wear it for 10-15 minutes. Carry on with some cross stitch or drawing. Ring a friend and ask them about their day. Hoover and dust the flat. Reorganise my perpetually untidy bookshelf.

The things is , any one of these after a big glass of water are things I can't eat during and 90% of the time the cravings gone by the time I finish.

Perhaps try setying up your own list? Also in terms of celebrating, get a piggy bank or jar and put the money you would have spent on takeout in there and watch it grow. In a few months if you do this every time you want to celebrate with food, take it out and count it and treat yourself to a new dress that fits you after losing weight or a weekend away or something. I've just taken my £50 saved to thr MAC counter as a well done for sticking it out for 4 weeks (weigh in tomorrow) and it was so nice to look at the makeup and think 'I earned this!'

You can do anything you set your mind too. Chin up and stay strong!

Nx

 

[Bethiee]

Cheers for the tips Nadia,

Just sick of well..feeling sick! I'm playing league of legends until he comes home and probably after he comes home too.. We are so exciting..

Appreciate the suggestions, house is spotless apart so no cleaning for me i'm afraid. (woooo)

Had 2.5 litres today got 500 to go before bed and the bottle is sat next to me on my desk... however just noticed my sugar free touch of volvic strawberry has citric acid in it... nooooooooooo

This is my go to get my water in cos I love the taste! D:

 

[Bethiee]

Only managed to eat a bar from the plan, made egg white, spinach and chicken omelette as I was verryyyy close to saying sod it all today cos of my constant tummy troubles.
Proud of myself for not doing so bad, just intake was too low and I didn't get all my nutrients from my packs.

Intake way too low today. Try again tomorrow.

 

[Bethiee]

Woke up and bought some scales...

Very is having a sale on the weight watchers ones.

I bought one that holds 4 peoples info, tracks your bodyfat, body water and loss each week.
Could be a terrible idea. I don't know.
Product here:
http://www.very.co.uk/weight-watche...1338353938.prd?crossSellType=item_page.recs_1
Sale here:
http://www.very.co.uk/home-garden/bathroom/e/b/12981,21821/q/scales.end

Still sick today. I'm so tired all the time and empty, not necessarily hungry just empty.
Need to start eating today.

Things that rely on this diet:
My prescription from the GP is regulated based on liver function, if I start eating high fat again I won't be able to take meds that make me better in the long run.
Career development, I think my weight/unhappiness is holding me back from progressing correctly.
My relationships long term happiness. We want kids in the future. Weightloss will aid being able to get pregnant and being able to run around after kids.
My hip joint will corrode faster and I may not be suitable for a replacement at this weight.

Good things that are keeping me positive:
New job, new job gives 30+8 days holiday a year plus has a gym with personal trainer on site.. so no excuse to not go there after iv lost some bulk.
My annual mates holiday, first time with a girl mate. Usually go with guy friends but its a mixed group so should be loads of fun!
Chance to buy nice clothes, Alex wants to get him a tailor made suit and buy me a ball gown/full length evening dress and take me to a ball when we hit our target.
Going to Insomnia LAN in August (Alex's first time!) though he's been to comic cons with me.
New job location is where me and Alex want to move back to as it's less quiet than here, my commute also passes his office so we can commute in the mornings together (around 30 mins)
And finally... being able to shop in any clothes shop with friends and go to spa's as I always get invited but I never go due to insecurity about my body.

Tomorrow is waist check day.
I 100% think I haven't lost any more but I can still hope.

 

[Bethiee]

Had lemon bar today and made a chocolate shake into iced coffee mochas. Was nice.

For dinner I had chicken and mushroom egg fried "rice"
"Rice" can be found here:
http://www.myprotein.com/sports-nutrition/my-rice/11095006.html
Entire meal was to a total of 260 calories, 1.7 gram carbs. 39 grams protein.

Was filling and quite nice.

Will be having gooey caramel pudding on the sofa later.

Feeling positive, more so than earlier.

Stopped drinking volvic touch of fruits too.

 

[Loz1986]

That looks like an interesting "rice" product - did it feel/taste like rice?

You definitely sound more positive - I hope you're feeling better this evening? This new job definitely seems like a good move for you. When do you start?