Big Boys Need Love Too!

[Gemstone]

Hi Tyn
I'm back now. Have read your post and agree it doesn't sound wonderful. All you can do is wait on the surgeons etc. None of this is your doing, you wanted to help her all along but she wasn't having any. You have done and are doing all you can. You are supporting each other and that is really good. Doctors can do amazing things and hopefully she hasn't left it too long to make a difference. I know you are thinking the worse but you have to cross that bridge only if it is there. She is in the right place now so be strong and take each step at a time AND keep posting and we will do all we can to support. I will keep checking in this evening at intervals so if you post I WILL reply at some stage.
Good luck x

 

[Fattyfattyboomboom]

Tyn,
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time right now. Both you and your family. But as gem said, she is in the best place for her. And again, you are doing what you can for her and your family. There is only so much help you can offer some one is they are not willing to take it. You can't not WILL your mother to want to live or want to take care of herself. So NEVER EVER blame yourself for her choices. You all love her, and of course you will always feel you have a need for her! She is your mother. And as a son, just go and show her your support, and love. Being there for each other is what family is about.

I am sending you and your family loads of good karma and hugs, which I hope will help. Never be afraid to say how you are feeling on here. It's about supporting eachother in good and in bad.

Take care hun and make sure you look after yourself too.

xx

 

[Gemstone]

Well said Jenn. We are all here for each other and I reckon it's Martyn's turn at the moment for some TLC x

 

[Martyn]

Hey all,

Well, just got back from another 6hours in the hospital.

Got a call at 4 from the surgoen, said she had to talk to us about the latest test results. We got there about 4:30 and we didn't go to see her, instead we got put into a side room.

The surgeon (lovely lady, funky shoes aswell) Told us, that the 'infection' was 99.9% sure cancer. It had invaded her breast, bone, lungs, liver and the cheast cavity.

There is nothing they can do.

After calling my gran up (my mums mum) We sat and waited in the room to be with her when she died. The surgeon told us, we where looking at mins, not even hours she had gone down hill so drasticly in the few hours since we got home to shower and eat.

I can't cry anymore, my head is throbbing, i am so exhausted but can't even close my eyes. My sister spent the entire time sat outside the room, she said her goodbyes first alone, and then that was it. I just sat and staired at her for as long as i could. But my dad is destroyed. I have never seen him cry like that before.

She is still alive, dad just needed to be alone with her now, and the family kept on showing up after the word got out. And they where making me and my sister upset, so he sent us home to rest. I am currently cuddled up in the chair with my quilt waiting for the phone.

I don't want to go to sleep, because if i do, she dies when i am not there. I am seriously not commin home next summer (If i go back to uni, not decided yet)

Anyway, thanks for all your kind words and karma, i can't thank you all enough, don't think i could have got through these last few weeks without you all.

xxx

I am gonna be awake for awhile i think.

 

[Martyn]

Its now 11 oclock. And my mother just died peacefully, asleep in hospital.

 

[Gemstone]

Hi Tyn. I feared that might be the case but I am so sorry to hear it confirmed. It sounds like whatever you decided to do would not have been in time to make any difference to the outcome. It seems that your Mum may have successfully concealed all the symptoms for a long time, maybe out of fear or denial. Just at the moment the three of you will need each others support to get through. Just remember that everyone has different ways of dealing with things and that guilt and anger are natural components of grief, whatever the circumstances. Everyones emotions will run high so be careful. Post as much as you need to. We will be here for you. x :hug99:

 

[Gemstone]

Oh Tyn, so sorry but I'm glad she was peaceful at the end. That's the best you could have hoped for. Take care honey. Do what needs to be done as I'm sure you will. x

 

[Martyn]

What do i do now? I feel like i should be doing something, but i dont know what

 

[hannahboo]

hey its great to see more blokes on here my partner is on here as well hes doing the cambridge diet with me and hes doing well. hes weighed 23st at his highest and is 22 in aug. he always tells me to remember that everyone is at the gym for the same reason, to improve their health and fitness and at least your there trying to do something about your health rather then not. all the muscle people are only like that coz they go to the gym if they didnt they would have woobly bits too. this is my main worry when im at the gym is people lookin at my muffin top and big old bum woobling all over the place but i think sod them!! least im trying
so stay strong and positive

 

[hannahboo]

sorry didnt see all the other posts until after i had sent the one above im real sorry to hear your sad news and were all here to help and support you x

 

[Gemstone]

Hiya again Tyn. Not much you can do at this point. Is your Dad dealing with things like the undertaker. If there are still family members or close friends to tell, you can do that.
Tomorrow someone will have to obtain a death cert, probably from the hospital which will then have to be registered - hospital will tell you where. You can then obtain copies of the registered death cert. (£3.50 each I think) so that you can inform banks, building socs. insurance companies, anyone who needs to know. They will want original copies not photocopies but will send them back. When you register the death, take birth and marriage cert. if applicable and national health card. I've done this before so if you're not sure, ask. The next week or so until the funeral will probably seem like an age but there will be plenty to do. You will get through it x

 

[Gemstone]

I know its hard at the moment Tyn but search your mind for the good times when your Mum was well and happy. Try to remember what she was and not what she had become through the illness. Cherish those memories cos no-one can take them from you. Dig out some old photos from childhood to remind you if it helps. x

 

[elle2585]

oh tyn ... hun i'm so sorry. i can't believe it turned around so drastically like this. i'm sending you soooo many hugs it's unreal. there are some people out there who like to deal with illnesses on their own, your mum was one, my grandad another. he was dying of leukemia and didnt let on anything was wrong. it's hard to accept but something you have to respect. just remember the good times you had with her. i'm sure she's in a better place now. hun, don't think about uni etc now. take each day as it comes. i'll be on here lots this week as im sure the rest of us will. so if you can't take facing up to people you know we're all here for you. we haven't known each other long but we're like a mini family. lots of love tyn tyn, you're a fabulous person xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Gemstone]

Well said elle. Hope everything went well at the exhibition. Yes we will all be here for Tyn. Loads of cyberhugs I reckon x

 

[Fattyfattyboomboom]

Oh tyn,

Darlin' I am so so sorry to hear about your mum. But as gem said, at least in the end per passing was peaceful. You will feel a bit numb or maybe like everything is surreal, but you will get through it all. Just take time. Get a small box and put into some things of your mother's that you feel are precious to you. Things that give you warm feels about her and the person she "truely" was. Keep them safe so that you will always have them. Things for youself, for your family when you get older. Just know that your mother is in a better state of being now. My thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family in this time of grief. Just remember. Look after yourself. Keep busy, and post when you can. We love to hear from you and will be hear always, just know you're always supported.

Jenn
xx

 

[Lisa Bigger Bum]

Hello Martyn

I have never spoken to you before, however just reading about your news has made my heart hurt. I am so sorry to hear about your mum, you obviously will be in shock for a while and time and things happening will become a blur.

All I ask is that you try and look after yourself the best you can, with all thats going on just take care, make sure you eat and drink properly the diet and all of our support will be here when your ready and if ever you need us. You need to be strong for you and your family so do whats best for you all.

Sending a massive hug to you and your family.

Love Lisa xx

 

[elle2585]

Well said elle. Hope everything went well at the exhibition. Yes we will all be here for Tyn. Loads of cyberhugs I reckon x

hey gem, yeah, exhibition went ok, bit too rainy, and all the exhibitors were complaining that they didnt do as well as usual, because of the credit crunch amongst other things. meanwhile i've set my sights on some boots at a pricey £245! so im looking at some alternatives. was going to go to bed but poor tyn has got me thinking, i feel just awful for him, as i'm sure we all do. i have the morning off tomorrow and then the rest of the week off! so i shall be on here loads. the "diet" went horribly wrong today, had a bit of a pig out and thought if im going to do it i may aswell do it all today and start afresh tomorrow. im hoping to go swimming at some point, once i've shaved my ridiculously hairy legs.

tyn - just something else hun, i've been told that facing up to things and letting all your emotions out, digging out old photos and having a cry, is the best way to deal with grief and will help you more in the long run. so don't be afraid to do that. your mum will always be alive in your heart, and we will always be around on here. and don't forget, there's a trip to alton towers to look forward to one day as well! one day at a time hun, you'll come to terms with this i promise. and you'll get to where you want to be. we love you tyn you've brightened up our lives. :gen126: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Gemstone]

Memories box is a great idea Jenn. You can shut it away when it is too painful and bring it out when you need to remember. x

 

[Gemstone]

Glad the exhibition was ok - The price of the boots sounds painful! x

 

[elle2585]

Glad the exhibition was ok - The price of the boots sounds painful! x

yeah. if they were sparkly red shoes it would be worth it, but there's no way i'm forking out a ridiculous amount of money like that. unless i win the lottery. meanwhile, i'm sending tyn tyn the red shoes. he deserves them methinks xxxxxx