Big Boys Need Love Too!
- Thread starter Martyn
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Martyn
The Place To Be!
Hey, sorry i vanished, was trying to sleep, but guess how that went.
I feel a little sick, prolly the no food all day, just heaps of coffee, can't eat dont wanna eat either.
I am feeling so numb and distant right now, worried i am being cold so shut myself in my room so i cant hear my dad downstairs. Did today really happen? It doesnt even feel real.
Thanks for all your words tho, you all mean so much to me right now. And i only have a photo of my mum, and one of her rings (now around my neck on my chain) that i have of hers atm, but might find more soon.
The weekends really do suck in my life. lol
I feel a little sick, prolly the no food all day, just heaps of coffee, can't eat dont wanna eat either.
I am feeling so numb and distant right now, worried i am being cold so shut myself in my room so i cant hear my dad downstairs. Did today really happen? It doesnt even feel real.
Thanks for all your words tho, you all mean so much to me right now. And i only have a photo of my mum, and one of her rings (now around my neck on my chain) that i have of hers atm, but might find more soon.
The weekends really do suck in my life. lol
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
All you are feeling is quite normal. It's a huge thing that's happened with very little warning. For cold read numb. Do try to eat something, tomorrow at least. You do need to keep your strength up and amazingly life goes on while it appears to have stood still from where you are looking at it. At some point you will have to step onto the merry-go-round again so you might as well look after yourself as best you can. You will come through it but you ARE allowed to take your time and grieve in your own way - just don't make yourself hurt any more than you have to x
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
Today is maybe not the day to be trying to give up something like smoking - far too hard. Don't take on board anything your Dad says to you harshly. I doubt if he knows what to do with his grief either. Unfortunately times like this don't come with an instruction leaflet and if they did we'd all end up throwing it in the bin cos everyone feels differently about these things. You may find that you can all comfort each other in some way but if you need to be alone for a while that's ok too. I have to go to bed now but I will check in tomorrow to find out how you are. Take care and try to get some sleep x
elle2585
8 t whole wheel of cheese
morning gem, morning tyn, morning jenn, morning abz etc... how was your night in the end tyn? did you manage to have that crafty smoke and at least get a bit of shut eye? have you spoken to your dad and sister yet? don't feel bad doing something or watching something that makes you laugh or smile, they say laughter is the best medicine.. it makes you feel a bit better. at my grandad's funeral some friends of mine were making me laugh and i was getting a few stern looks. but it really helped me through the day. xxxxxxxxxxxx
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
Good morning all 
Really good advice elle. In our family funerals are sad (although a celebration of life) but the gathering afterwards is a time for cementing the family together and looking back on the good times with anecdotes and old photos AND lots of laughs. This somehow helps everyone to move on a little. With you Tyn I know it will be hard as you have the turmoil beforehand and the horror of the last day to put behind you. Don't get stuck emotionally in that time. It is natural to grieve but also natural to move on. Hope you are feeling a little better this morning :grouphugg:for you and yours.
Really good advice elle. In our family funerals are sad (although a celebration of life) but the gathering afterwards is a time for cementing the family together and looking back on the good times with anecdotes and old photos AND lots of laughs. This somehow helps everyone to move on a little. With you Tyn I know it will be hard as you have the turmoil beforehand and the horror of the last day to put behind you. Don't get stuck emotionally in that time. It is natural to grieve but also natural to move on. Hope you are feeling a little better this morning :grouphugg:for you and yours.
abz
Gold Member
hi tyn. i'm sorry i haven't been around. i have just read through everything and i am so so sorry about what has happened. i am sending you lots of love for all the comfort it will give you.
it is perfectly natural to swing from feeling numb to feeling everything at once, but do keep feeling it. if we hold it in in times like this then we'd explode. cry, laugh, yell, scream, sleep. it's all part of the healing process. i can't give you any more advice than that. i lost someone very close to me last summer and had to spend time at the hospital and then wait by the phone too. it's excrutiating. but at the end of it i have more good memories than bad, and feel far more priveleged to have known her than not.
you have done everything anyone could ever expect of you and you have been incredibly strong for those around you. never forget that!! you and your family need each other right now.
a big hug from me honey. we're all here for you as and when you need us.
abi xx
it is perfectly natural to swing from feeling numb to feeling everything at once, but do keep feeling it. if we hold it in in times like this then we'd explode. cry, laugh, yell, scream, sleep. it's all part of the healing process. i can't give you any more advice than that. i lost someone very close to me last summer and had to spend time at the hospital and then wait by the phone too. it's excrutiating. but at the end of it i have more good memories than bad, and feel far more priveleged to have known her than not.
you have done everything anyone could ever expect of you and you have been incredibly strong for those around you. never forget that!! you and your family need each other right now.
a big hug from me honey. we're all here for you as and when you need us.
abi xx
Martyn
The Place To Be!
Morning girls. Well.. afternoon i should say. lol. I am still numb today, although i did sleep until really late. Woke up about 12:30. Don't know how that happened.
Been sat down stairs with dad, looks like he is the same atm, we both had a bit of tension when the phone kept ringing, first someone trying to sell him something, then my nan rang asking if he needed anything, then finally the hospital, the Death thingie will be done tomorrow.
My belly still feels really weird, hard to explain it. All i want to eat or drink is coffee. I hope CD is like this, will be easy if it is! lol.
I have to start making a to-do list for us i think, for the funeral and stuff. Gonna be weird when we book that. My old friend from school's family own the funeral directors, so will see her again, that will be strange.
Anyway, How is everyone else today? And Elle, i say you spend the £240 on those shoes! Imagine how glam you will feel when you wear them? Talk about a boost lol.
Thanks again all for the words of comfort, that really do mean alot. xx
Been sat down stairs with dad, looks like he is the same atm, we both had a bit of tension when the phone kept ringing, first someone trying to sell him something, then my nan rang asking if he needed anything, then finally the hospital, the Death thingie will be done tomorrow.
My belly still feels really weird, hard to explain it. All i want to eat or drink is coffee. I hope CD is like this, will be easy if it is! lol.
I have to start making a to-do list for us i think, for the funeral and stuff. Gonna be weird when we book that. My old friend from school's family own the funeral directors, so will see her again, that will be strange.
Anyway, How is everyone else today? And Elle, i say you spend the £240 on those shoes! Imagine how glam you will feel when you wear them? Talk about a boost lol.
Thanks again all for the words of comfort, that really do mean alot. xx
elle2585
8 t whole wheel of cheese
hey martyn, i wish i had slept till half 12. had the morning off due to the hectic weekend but my sister woke me up at 7...to ask me if I was going to work! but it's not so bad, as I have the rest of the week off. hence i shall be online lots and dont forget, you have my number so text me if you're feeling low and can't get to a computer. And please try to eat something more than coffee...although i'm not too sure how you'd go about actually EATING coffee hehe make a sandwich or something i'd come and make one for you but i'm a bit far away and i've given you my shoes xxx
Abz, love the photos of the wedding. It's nice to see you and your OH after all this time hearing about how excellent he is. He looks lovely, and the bride does, and your mum does. Ooh, i hear thunder...
xxxxxxxx
make a sandwich or something i'd come and make one for you but i'm a bit far away and i've given you my shoes xxxAbz, love the photos of the wedding. It's nice to see you and your OH after all this time hearing about how excellent he is. He looks lovely, and the bride does, and your mum does. Ooh, i hear thunder...
xxxxxxxx
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
What kind of thunder elle? hehehe or is it just the weather? Tyn. Hang on in there Hon and if any of my little ramblings are useful or comforting to you I am really pleased. If not just ignore. I think a to-do list is a really good idea. It'll take the worry out of things and be good to see the jobs ticked off. At these times we all want to do the best job we can. Good luck with all the arrangements etc. We are all with you in spirit. x
elle2585
8 t whole wheel of cheese
haha abz i'd be careful if i was you, looks like tyn likes the look of your OH! lol...
tyn you take care of them shoes hun. i need them looking spick and span for when we take on alton towers
gem...thunder as in the sound created when lightning makes a nice big great space in the air and it has to pull itself back together. however, I have indeed partaken of the other kind of thunder today. twice, infact. bit of a clearing up job, i reckon x
tyn you take care of them shoes hun. i need them looking spick and span for when we take on alton towers
gem...thunder as in the sound created when lightning makes a nice big great space in the air and it has to pull itself back together. however, I have indeed partaken of the other kind of thunder today. twice, infact. bit of a clearing up job, i reckon
x
squidgster
Full Member
Martyn, just been reading through some of this thread. Am so sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my Dad 4 years ago when I was 18, so I know how hard it is, but also how strange it is, particularly in the few days afterwards. I was never really sure what I should be doing!
You sound like a lovely person, and will make sure I pop into this thread now and again to check on how you're getting on.
Squidge xxx
You sound like a lovely person, and will make sure I pop into this thread now and again to check on how you're getting on.
Squidge xxx
elle2585
8 t whole wheel of cheese
Martyn, just been reading through some of this thread. Am so sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my Dad 4 years ago when I was 18, so I know how hard it is, but also how strange it is, particularly in the few days afterwards. I was never really sure what I should be doing!
You sound like a lovely person, and will make sure I pop into this thread now and again to check on how you're getting on.
Squidge xxx
blimey squidge, you've lost lots of weight! you look brill! i'm doing it the same way as you. have you found that it's gone pretty slowly? i'm only losing around 1-2lbs a week.
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
Elle - Glad you have "partaken", although I would have said it was just the opposite if you get my drift!
Squidge - Wow, what a difference. I wanna be 11st one day too!
Abz - Defo watch that man of yours - they're ALL after him
Tyn - You naughty boy! but SO good you still have some spirit left. Keep strong, x
Squidge - Wow, what a difference. I wanna be 11st one day too!
Abz - Defo watch that man of yours - they're ALL after him
Tyn - You naughty boy! but SO good you still have some spirit left. Keep strong, x
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