Big Boys Need Love Too!

[Martyn]

Hey girlies.

I wish she did keep recipies, but she just cooked from memory most of the time.

I am starting to get really annoyed at myself at the moment. I don't feel numb, or sad or anything. I just feel normal, like she isn't even dead. And everything is going as normal, i just watched Dr Who, and laughed my ass off at it, then got excited about the new Torchwood news, and i am feeling bored, and horny, but nothing in the way of what i SHOULD be feeling, its really starting to get on my nerves.

This can't be normal.

 

[Fattyfattyboomboom]

tyn...don't try and figure it out...just be!! Don't think " I should be doing this...I should be feeling that...! Right now you really aren't going to be in a place to judge your own position. You just need to do what feels right. If watching tele and laughing till you wee yourself feel good...then do it. It's only been 24 hours. Don't worry about Musts and should and just be!!

 

[abz]

it's totally normal honey. it will sink in soon. just exist. that's all you can do. the world will catch up with you when you can handle it. it's a defence mechanism. nobody can take in everything all at once. take each day as it comes...

i have a snotty faced OH putting japanese peppermint half way up his nose and then yelling because it hurts *sigh. men with colds are a nightmare!!

abz xx

 

[Gemstone]

All good advice Tyn. Don't judge yourself. No judgment needed. x

 

[abz]

is anybody around this morning? or am i the only one who has been up and about for hours?

how is everyone today?

abz xx

 

[Gemstone]

Me too abz :character00238: Good morning to you :sign0137: just noticed the bit about the nose on the end of your last night's post. Was half asleep then and didn't see that bit. Well I hope it works for him - sounds a bit drastic! x

 

[Martyn]

I am here aswell. Just got out of the shower, and my god it was hot lol. My sister has no sense of temperature i think, i like hot showers but i was dancing lol. Didn't turn it down tho, felt good after awhile.

Dad and sister just got back from picking up the death note thingie, i didn't go as the car is rather smell, and we are all rather big. (My dad is a giant aswell, and my sister ain't no short arse)

The news is out aswell, got cards through today, i didn't know they did cards for death, guess it was another thing she took care of. Oh well.

Whats this about your nose anyway? Or is this something i don't wanna know about? lol

 

[Gemstone]

Read a couple of posts back Tyn - Yuk Yuk! Glad things are coming together. Yea there have always been sympathy cards as long as I remember. Didn't like receiving them but it is something people can do to show they care - like the flowers I guess, although some people don't have flowers at funerals. It's personal choice, some people nominate a charity instead. x

 

[elle2585]

good morning everybody i woke up at 10:15 today! well, no, i woke up at 6am to say goodbye to my dad as he's going to bangalore and then at 7:30 in case my mum wasn't back from the airport in time to take my sister to school on her way to work. and then i slept till 10:15 lol...

abz, jenn, here here.. I wish i cleaned when i needed to think things through! I'm EXACTLY like you abz.

Gem...you've reeeeeally got me into porridge, i love my porridge with honey in the mornings!

Tyn tyn, don't worry about how you're feeling, you're not doing anything wrong by laughing or watching dr who and the (sexy) david tennant (ok he's one skinny guy who does it for me). Just go with the flow. Celebrate your mum's life, remember the good times, cry when you feel like it, laugh when you feel like it. and don't, for one second, feel bad. xxx

as for me guys, i know I wrote yesterday in my diary about not weighing till fri as I wanted to kind of get back to the once a week/not bein obsessed with scales kind of thing. However, with such a bad sunday, i wanted to check out the damage. Got on the scales FIVE times today just to check i was reading it right. 14st 3lbs! I dont understand, but i refuse to get excited as i remember the 14st 6lb incident in the first week lol. I mean, when I say bad sunday, i really mean BAD. We're talking English breakfast in the morning + toast (2 sausages, one rasher bacon, scrambled eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes), strawberries and cream (although i took most of the fresh cream off the top) about half a tray of chips, as we were hungry around 2pm and Annie came back with that, then my parents came to change a picture theyd bought and had just been at a greek festival thing so brought us some greek kebabs with couscous, salad, houmous and I had 1 1/2 big pittas to go with that!! and then I went to my aunty's to watch the rest of Nadal/Federer (yay, go Rafa) and had a square of this brownie thing, some nuts, a choccy digestive, a bourbon, and then at mine THREE more biscuits and 2 celebrations chocolates. however, did finish totm yesterday... I really don't understand my body. any suggestions? xxx

 

[Fattyfattyboomboom]

morning all, Glad you're doing normal things Tyn.


Ok I am depressed. For the last two days I was weighing the same at 19st 12.....now this morning I am 19st 13 What the ****?!!! I haven't cheated, I have been doing everything I can to make sure I am perfect on this plan. And I am not sitting on my bum doing nothing. Just cooking, which i am doing for hours. SO what is the deal. I better be retaining water or loosing fat somewhere cuz this is depressing!!!

 

[elle2585]

i'm going to say water retention. totm approaching?? have you been to the toilet ok haha? (trust me, i'm an expert there) don't worry, it's a case of a zillion pounds off, one pound on. that pound could be anything...take your watch off lol. when are your official weigh ins? x

 

[elle2585]

oh, by the way everyone, i'm off to cyprus on the 12th August for 4 weeks....

1)my goal is to get under the dreaded 14 stone marker by then, I can't remember the last time I was under 14 stone...

2)when in cyprus, my cousins + sisters lose weight, I put on weight... they can't be bothered to eat because it's too hot, i just find air conditioning and do it in there hahaha. no, in all seriousness, because i'm going where my family are we go and eat at millions of people's houses, get take away traditional cypriot kebabs when we're peckish of a night time, my nan makes humoungous lunches and then we'll go out at around 10pm and have something else to eat (huge tut tut tut). icecream, crisps (but usually not chocolate as it's all imported and very melted) fill up my days. SO. i've decided that one of the first things I will do when there is buy a decent set of scale "for the house" haha. and we do have inet connection (slower and more expensive) so i will try and come on for a bit every night - i really will need lots of support lol - and keep you all updated. and friday weigh ins will happen as usual.

i have actually written two essays. x

 

[Fattyfattyboomboom]

Well not that you need this much detail but it was like pea soup yesterday. and my "offical" weight in is later tonight. But I know her scales are 5 lbs more than my own and I already told her I am going off my scales. She is going to take a record but I am not even going to ask her what the number is. Because it will never be right. It is at night which mean I will be heavier plus the 5lbs for the different scales...so it will only depress me more. I have been trying so hard to be good and this just makes me want to eat something. ( not that I am going to...but I want to). No where near my TOTM. I only has mine 2 weeks ago so i have 3 weeks to go. I just don't get it. It's not like I am not moving...and that I am even consuming enough calories to sustain my weight so what is going on?!! AHHHHHHHHHH

 

[elle2585]

i think maybe it's just your body sorting itself out. after all it is a MASSIVE reduction in calories. and dont forget, it's 9lb lost already! i'm on my 4th week and i haven't even lost that yet!!

 

[Gemstone]

Jenn - Don't know too much about CD but people usually lose loads so maybe you will lose it all at once. Abz may know more than me. Don't be depressed, we're all here to prop you up. If CD doesn't start delivering for you there will be another way just round the corner. You are in the right place for SUCCESS. Just keep going.

Elle - I woke up early this morning too - 4pm for a pee (bloody water). I have got new scales for this week - all singing, all dancing and they record onto a memory stick that you can transfer to a chart on the computer. They record weight, muscle, BMI, viceral fat (fat around vital organs) and water - I think that's it! It records for up to 12 people and 30 readings per person stored on scale before you have to transfer or lose earlier readings.
It took a while get my head round setting it up but it is GREAT! The only drawback was the price, £59.99 from Argos I have decided to use just as a scale when I hop on to see how things are going in the week but do the works on Monday mornings when I weigh in and record here. I then take the readings off with the memory stick so no-one else gets to see them! Ooo... I'm very cloak and dagger, me!

 

[elle2585]

wow those scales are amazing! mine are paula radcliffe digital ones. they seemed to be the same as the weigh watchers scales when i was on that so i trust them just about. however i'd love to know how much fat i have round my vital organs. any suggestions on m y radical weight loss gem? xxx

 

[Fattyfattyboomboom]

wow gem and her Uber scales...nice one. But how can it tell how much fat is around your organs? I mean it is only actually measuring your weight...so is it just a guess than based on your weight? But I would still like them. I have salter ones. Which are the same as my personal trainers, make. His were 5 lbs out too. but the doctors were the same and his were the same as mine. Who know...Really over all it doesn't make a difference...if I lose 10 then it will be 10 on any scale no matter what the end number is.

 

[Gemstone]

These are Salter Mi Body and work on electrodes reading from bare feet (bio-electric I think it's called). It has a glass footplate with two thin metal strips to place your feet on. Very clever technology but I still don't know how they tell one thing from the other. My viceral fat reads 15 and needs to be under 13 so I'm going the right way. You put in your age, height and fitness level (most people start at level 1).
Jenn - If you are happy with your scales that's good. You really just need something you can trust. I just wanted to know a bit more.
Elle - You are doing GREAT! If you have a week or two being strict about treats you will soon see a difference. I have not starved myself this week, I have had some wicked meals but I have held off on the teeny choc bars and not opened any bottles of wine. Even so I managed to repair the damage from my piggy weekend AND lose 3lb. Don't underestimate metabolism - it will slow down to conserve calories if it your body thinks you are starving it. Oh that's another thing the scales do - tell you about your metabolism. Apparently I burn 1,800 to function (BMR - base metabolic rate) - hmm.... like that lots

 

[Gemstone]

Elle - Have you tried sprinkling cinnamon on the porridge and honey and spreading it into the honey with a spoon? Yum!

 

[Martyn]

Hey all.

Jenn, i wouldn't give it much thought hun, i have seen it before where the weight goes up and down in CD, so just put it out of your mind and go on like normal, its prolly just water or something. When you go in for your weigh in, you will prolly see you have lost inches and stuff.

Smelly I wish i was going on holiday soon! My uncle just came down, and my dad wasn't in, so me and my sis had to do the entertaining. He has just told me to get a passport, and book a flight out with my dad to america with the family in a couple of weeks to get away.
Wish i could, but doubt dad would do it. lol.

Dad is off doing the official docutments, weird you have to get a peice of paper to say someone is dead. Just had a weird conversation, one of my mums debt collector people came around, told him she was dead, and he said that all we need is the certificate and all her debts will be gone. Just like that. How weird is that.

People keep talking about the funeral. That i am not looking forward to, we don't even know what she wanted.

Feeling slightly more numb today, everything feels alittle surreal, but doing ok.