Big Boys Need Love Too!
- Thread starter Martyn
- Start date
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
hehehe...good on you Tyn. You know, I think america or some place at least would be a good idea. Just to get you all away and have a break, once the funeral has passed and you have things arranged. It might do you all some good. I love america so I would always recommend it. Texas is a great place ) said with no bias in mind)
But I think you're right. I just measured myself ( well OH did) and I had only done them 3 days ago and since then I have lost 1/2 inch practially everywhere and 1 inch on my boobs. WOW!! What a shock. SO I don't feel too bad now. I am such a sucker!
gem...those scales really sound like the dogs what-its....hehehe I may have to go and look and see if I can get them too, check and see where they are the cheapest. Man I love to shop!!! OH hates it though, never been a cheap girl!! But when it comes to my watches /handbags/make-up/ jewellery/shoes...money is no object. hahaha
But I think you're right. I just measured myself ( well OH did) and I had only done them 3 days ago and since then I have lost 1/2 inch practially everywhere and 1 inch on my boobs. WOW!!
What a shock. SO I don't feel too bad now. I am such a sucker!gem...those scales really sound like the dogs what-its....hehehe I may have to go and look and see if I can get them too, check and see where they are the cheapest. Man I love to shop!!! OH hates it though, never been a cheap girl!! But when it comes to my watches /handbags/make-up/ jewellery/shoes...money is no object. hahaha
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
ok gem I hope you're happy you have just made me reserve the scales at argos and I am now force to get off my big fat bum and go and run all the errands I was trying to avoid doing today!! I hope you're happy with yourself.
Ahhhhh I just wanted to chill out...watch a big of judge judy( seeing as the little'un as at nana's for his sleep over). One day off and now I have to go errand running. GREAT!! Oh well. I guess I need to get out and see the living for a bit. hehehe. Found another pair of scales but they are kitchen ones....fantastic. I think I will buy them once I get down to where I want to be. They have a special screen ( also salter) and a little computer you just put an object on the scales eg. sweet pepper and it tells you the break down of it and the calories too which is great.
check it out:
Salter 1450 Nutri-Weigh Dietary Computer Scale
.Ahhhhh I just wanted to chill out...watch a big of judge judy( seeing as the little'un as at nana's for his sleep over). One day off and now I have to go errand running. GREAT!! Oh well. I guess I need to get out and see the living for a bit. hehehe. Found another pair of scales but they are kitchen ones....fantastic. I think I will buy them once I get down to where I want to be. They have a special screen ( also salter) and a little computer you just put an object on the scales eg. sweet pepper and it tells you the break down of it and the calories too which is great.
check it out:
Salter 1450 Nutri-Weigh Dietary Computer Scale
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
Well done Jenn - the inches are just as important aren't they? I envy you Jenn being able to spend spend spend. Those scales were a huge purchase for me but I think worth it. Try Argos online. If you want to pick them up they will reserve them in the store of your choice. You can input all the results into the program you put on your computer and see the changes over the weeks. I only have one result on my table so far. I set the scales up at the end of last week but thought I'd wait til the Monday weigh in to do the full reading. The scales are well hidden at the moment as is the booklet and memory stick. At some point I will introduce the scales into the house but will still continue to take the results off as soon as I've weighed in. There is also a guest setting that doesn't save so for hopping on and off on the weigh only setting it's pretty safe. NO-ONE knows what I weigh. Mind you, no-one has noticed the stone I have lost either so no awkward questions yet. x
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
Ok I figure I will h ave lost by tomorrow. I have gone and made 2 separate deliveries to the porcelin gods so something should be showing tomorrow. Which I will check on the super Über scales. hehehe
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
Tyn. There certainly is a lot to do bLfore the funeral. Did your mum have an insurance policy to pay for a funeral. Lots of people do. Look (or get your Dad to look) through any paperwork she may have kept to see if there is a policy. If you don't find anything look at any bank statements she may have kept to see if she was paying a direct debit or standing order to an insurance company. If so you can contact them to see what kind of insurance it was. Funeral Directors usually want a deposit up front and then you usually get something like 4/6 weeks to pay the balance. Down here they tend to come out at aroud £1,000. Have you thought about whether you will invite people back or anything. It doesn't matter if you don't but people like to know if anything is happening afterwards so get it clear between you whether or not. Sometimes it helps but for some people it's too much to cope with. Whatever you decide between you is ok. Good luck with everything. I am sending good vibes to you and your family. x
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
gem....well I don't spend spend spend. I can and have. But with the way things are at the moment, I have cut down loads. TO be honest I very rarely buy myself stuff. Normally stuff for the house for OH or son, rarely me. But I have managed to accumulate loads. When i go home to texas, I do spend. I normally manage about 5-6 thousand dollars in 2 weeks. But then I buy all sorts of stuff and stock up on clothes for the up coming year for little'un. Plus going out and doing things, and it is normally the holiday time so money gets spent and if it isn't then i still buy stuff for the following x-mas and store it at my mum's so that way i don't have to post stuff over and it be late and costly. At the moment i am not spending much as the credit crunch as hit, and with the cot of everything rising I try and save where I can. I keep a spread sheet of everything that is spent along with the budget for each thing, groceries, petrol, all the bills, and general spending monies. Which when you look ever a month all adds up. But this way I keep everything on track. That is part of my "household jobs". I keep everything running smoothly and the OH earns the cash! Fair trade I think. =-)
abz
Gold Member
oh my word. i have ww ones that tell you your weight, your bmi, your body fat percentage, how much the fat you are carrying weighs (that one is really depressing, mines over 6st) and the body water percentage. but they don't do all singing all dancing computer stuff!! ha.
i am getting weighed tonight. my cdc's scales weigh heavier than mine and obviously it's in the evening. i'm just off to ikea just for somewhere to go, ha. how sad is that? me and a mate were going for a coffee and we decided to go there as coffee is free on a weekday and she wants to look at beds for her littleun. so that's the plan.
tyn, you are doing marvellously well honey. well done on your weight loss and it must be a relief to not have to think about debts.
as for condolence cards i said i didn't want any last year as i wouldn't know what to do with them... it seems a strange custom. people want you to know that they are thinking of you and that they care about your mum and your family, and that is lovely. so think of it like that.
i'm going to toddle for now, but i will be on and about later on tonight i would imagine. sorry i've been so scarce...
love to all of you.
oh. jenn. it will be water retention. as for totm not being due, i've had one week on and one week off, am hoping that's it or i'll be on again this week. gah. so it could be that. it could just be because we go to the loo less because we eat less. how much water are you drinking? i try and stick to 4 litres, saying that i've had none at all today. i'm a very bad abi!!
abz xx
i am getting weighed tonight. my cdc's scales weigh heavier than mine and obviously it's in the evening. i'm just off to ikea just for somewhere to go, ha. how sad is that? me and a mate were going for a coffee and we decided to go there as coffee is free on a weekday and she wants to look at beds for her littleun. so that's the plan.
tyn, you are doing marvellously well honey. well done on your weight loss and it must be a relief to not have to think about debts.
as for condolence cards i said i didn't want any last year as i wouldn't know what to do with them... it seems a strange custom. people want you to know that they are thinking of you and that they care about your mum and your family, and that is lovely. so think of it like that.
i'm going to toddle for now, but i will be on and about later on tonight i would imagine. sorry i've been so scarce...
love to all of you.
oh. jenn. it will be water retention. as for totm not being due, i've had one week on and one week off, am hoping that's it or i'll be on again this week. gah. so it could be that. it could just be because we go to the loo less because we eat less. how much water are you drinking? i try and stick to 4 litres, saying that i've had none at all today. i'm a very bad abi!!
abz xx
abz
Gold Member
one more thing. i found it helped to have everyone around afterwards. it was a surprisingly happy affair. everyone talking about the good things of a person's life. the daft things they did that made you laugh, silly stories that you hadn't heard before. i thought it would be all doom and gloom but it was actually quite a cleansing experience. it is a very personal choice though.
abz xx
abz xx
Hey! Everyone on here is worshipping the Gods of Porcelain. I could be really cheeky and say it'll be a pain in the arse if it doesn't show on the scales! hehehe. Due to my eating habits and water I leave offerings to the Gods very regularly
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
Abz...well have fun at ikea....I haven't been for years. THe last timem I went was when I lived in manchester..and we went to warrington. It was the first time. I got in...then I realise " i'm trapped....THERE'S NO WAY OUT!"
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
Abz...well as far as the weight thing, yeah I am just going to leave it, i am sure things are fine. But thanks. have fun.
Gem...hehehe. well I am going to offer some more before I leave and go run those horrible errands....blahhhh!!!
You know I love this place...but I hate the forum itself. It just don't run smoothly for me. I have problems with my posts...it deletes stuff and it annoys me. Too many bugs.Plus the emails I get about the thread comes hours after the posts have been made. But then that is just me. I do love all the stuff on it. and I love talking to you all. And the info is great.
Gem...hehehe. well I am going to offer some more before I leave and go run those horrible errands....blahhhh!!!
You know I love this place...but I hate the forum itself. It just don't run smoothly for me. I have problems with my posts...it deletes stuff and it annoys me. Too many bugs.Plus the emails I get about the thread comes hours after the posts have been made. But then that is just me. I do love all the stuff on it. and I love talking to you all. And the info is great.
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
Hey Jenn. Those Kitchen scales sound great but I don't think I will be tempted cos I'm pretty clued up on what food does what. We'll see. I'll get over having paid for the Mi Body scales first! Glad you have ordered them. Let me know how you get on. I had no trouble installing everything. I have vista and thought the Gremlins might get it but it was fine! I don't think you'll be disappointed with them. x
Tyn. What abz said has always been true for me also but it IS as we said a family preference whether you have anything afterwards or not. Well done for the 4lb. x
Abz. See you later mate x
Tyn. What abz said has always been true for me also but it IS as we said a family preference whether you have anything afterwards or not. Well done for the 4lb. x
Abz. See you later mate x
:grouphugg:
Martyn
The Place To Be!
Howdy all.
Just got back from the funeral place, that place is just weird! We decided on a cremation(sp?) All in all, the funeral is costing just under £3000, and yea he paid £1000 up front. They said it will be sometime next week. More than likely on the tuesday.
We are all going out later tonight to pick my mum up some new clothes, but my dad is letting me go pick the main flowers for her (I used to always bring her flowers home when i went shopping when i was younger)
I Have no idea what so ever what type of flowers to pick up. But want to make it really nice, nothing cheesy and stuff, just elegant and simple, just like she was.
We found out the final cause of death today, septicaemia and advanced breast cancer.
Nan and grandad came down just before we went, and offered my dad money to help with the funeral, but he wouldn't take it, but they told us what my auntie found out (she is a nurse who used to work in the hospital) The nurses apparently had never seen a case as bad as my mums. Which is a great piece of information, thanks for passing it along... lol. Dad is still really angry at her, but we all finally had a talk together today (inbetween folks commin to pester us) But we are all on the same page. We should have done something sooner, but are furious at her for keeping it from us for so long. We will be fine i think. Dad took us to KFC after the funeral place. Feel really sick while i was eating and still do, not sure why but meh, atleast i have eaten now. Anyway, hope your all doing ok. And causing mayhem in whatever part of the country your in ;-)
Just got back from the funeral place, that place is just weird! We decided on a cremation(sp?) All in all, the funeral is costing just under £3000, and yea he paid £1000 up front. They said it will be sometime next week. More than likely on the tuesday.
We are all going out later tonight to pick my mum up some new clothes, but my dad is letting me go pick the main flowers for her (I used to always bring her flowers home when i went shopping when i was younger)
I Have no idea what so ever what type of flowers to pick up. But want to make it really nice, nothing cheesy and stuff, just elegant and simple, just like she was.
We found out the final cause of death today, septicaemia and advanced breast cancer.
Nan and grandad came down just before we went, and offered my dad money to help with the funeral, but he wouldn't take it, but they told us what my auntie found out (she is a nurse who used to work in the hospital) The nurses apparently had never seen a case as bad as my mums. Which is a great piece of information, thanks for passing it along... lol. Dad is still really angry at her, but we all finally had a talk together today (inbetween folks commin to pester us) But we are all on the same page. We should have done something sooner, but are furious at her for keeping it from us for so long. We will be fine i think. Dad took us to KFC after the funeral place. Feel really sick while i was eating and still do, not sure why but meh, atleast i have eaten now. Anyway, hope your all doing ok. And causing mayhem in whatever part of the country your in ;-)
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
hmmm...Wow well firstly at least you know what the actual cause was tyn. As far as the "added" info. Well, it would have been better maybe to hear another time, when things weren't so fresh, but, if you can deal with it all the better. I am glad you all had a talk. It is good to get things out in the open. And at least you are all singing from the same hym sheet. As far as flowers are concerned, personally I have always been fond of Lillies. I think white and pinks are beautiful as well as calla Lillies. I think they are fresh looking and classic. But that is me. I have always had my family get the flowers for me as I have been over here and just took their word for it that they were lovely. What kind did she like? What kind did you used to get her? I used to do the same thing for my mum. Or pick them from people's garden's on the way home from my mate's house!! =-)
Just as a side note, with regards to feeling bad...you know, maybe you guys could have said something sooner, but that still wouldn't have changed the fact that your mother obviously knew something was wrong and didn't want to tell you or do anything about it. So you and your family cannot and must not blame yourself. Also, whilst it was her decision, you will have to ( at some point) learn to accept the choice she made for herself. As I said , it was her WILL and none of you can force someone to do something they don't want to do or accept. xxx
Gem, yeah got the scales. They are really pretty. Shame they are 5 lbs out huh!! *LOL* I guess my old ones are definately 5 pounds too low. Oh well. Well I took a measurement today, and I will do so again on monday's and see how I get on. They are great. Really love the whole info thing. Just want to find out more, and it took me ages to get the OH to let me have the instructions. hehehe
Just as a side note, with regards to feeling bad...you know, maybe you guys could have said something sooner, but that still wouldn't have changed the fact that your mother obviously knew something was wrong and didn't want to tell you or do anything about it. So you and your family cannot and must not blame yourself. Also, whilst it was her decision, you will have to ( at some point) learn to accept the choice she made for herself. As I said , it was her WILL and none of you can force someone to do something they don't want to do or accept. xxx
Gem, yeah got the scales. They are really pretty. Shame they are 5 lbs out huh!! *LOL* I guess my old ones are definately 5 pounds too low. Oh well. Well I took a measurement today, and I will do so again on monday's and see how I get on. They are great. Really love the whole info thing. Just want to find out more, and it took me ages to get the OH to let me have the instructions. hehehe
Martyn
The Place To Be!
Yea, i am sure we will all learn to deal with it sooner or later, or atleast to hide the anger that i don't think will go away anytime soon. Just got the call through, and the services is 11:30am next tuesday, got the vicar guy commin tomorrow morning.
We are just trying to decide if we want a Wake at the moment. We can't decide tho. Gonna talk to my nan and see what her thoughts are.
We are just trying to decide if we want a Wake at the moment. We can't decide tho. Gonna talk to my nan and see what her thoughts are.
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
Tyn,
Yeah I think it would be a good idea to talk to your nan. I am sure she would like to contribute in some way. How is your dad doing? How has be taken it all? Is your sister doing any better? I know that people coming over constantly is kind of bother some, but they are trying to show you they care. In my situation I was like...ok you've seen me...stop staring and just go!! But then I can be an angry person when it comes to stuff like that.
But Gem...now she is the woman with the Book of good advice...and I am sure she would say something more elequently, and with a bit more stubtstance that I can throw on this hun.
Gem........love the scales...a bit disappointed in the figures, but with a body like this...what do I expect eh....hahaha. Oh well. I took a reading and will do now on monday mornings and see where that gets me. At least I will have a pretty chart!!=-)
Yeah I think it would be a good idea to talk to your nan. I am sure she would like to contribute in some way. How is your dad doing? How has be taken it all? Is your sister doing any better? I know that people coming over constantly is kind of bother some, but they are trying to show you they care. In my situation I was like...ok you've seen me...stop staring and just go!! But then I can be an angry person when it comes to stuff like that.
But Gem...now she is the woman with the Book of good advice...and I am sure she would say something more elequently, and with a bit more stubtstance that I can throw on this hun.
Gem........love the scales...a bit disappointed in the figures, but with a body like this...what do I expect eh....hahaha. Oh well. I took a reading and will do now on monday mornings and see where that gets me. At least I will have a pretty chart!!=-)
Martyn
The Place To Be!
My dad is the one who is the most emotional still. He is so, so angry at her. My sister is doing ok, she is confused i think, why she did it. But i know why she did it. She was terrifyed of going to the hospital, and she didn't want us to have to watch her die slowly, like we did her dad. Selfish and selfless all at once, very much like she always has been. I don't think i am numb or waiting for it to drop, I think i am actually ok. I have my moments where i almost break again, like in the funeral place today when my dad looked at me with the mention of the flowers, that made me cry some, but i don't bawl like i did that day. I dunno tho, can't be THAT easy. lol.
I gotta go shopping for some new shoes aswell. I must be the only bloke in all of england who doesn't own a pair of black shoes. I have 2 pairs of brown, just no black! lol. Strange i know lol.
I gotta go shopping for some new shoes aswell. I must be the only bloke in all of england who doesn't own a pair of black shoes. I have 2 pairs of brown, just no black! lol. Strange i know lol.
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
hmmm...black shoes...actually that is all my OH buys...which is rather hard as he is size 14...try finding those anywhere normal.
I know what you are saying about your mum. It is all hard. My father is currently going through a cancer thing...for the second time around and I know he did doesn't want fussing or people to see him ill.
I know what you are saying about your mum. It is all hard. My father is currently going through a cancer thing...for the second time around and I know he did doesn't want fussing or people to see him ill.
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
:hug99:Tyn - Don't hold the anger inside. It's like a pressure cooker and has to come out somehow. You are all bound to be angry about what's happened. When anyone dies people feel anger. Sometimes they are angry with the person for leaving them, for putting them through all that stuff. Sometimes they are angry with God or whoever and sometimes they are angry with people they love. It is a natural part of grief and is ok to feel as long as you don't put the lid on it. Talk about it. Say what you feel. It might be a relief to your Dad and sister as it will give them licence to talk about how they feel too.
What you have heard is probably nothing you hadn't suspected. You tried hard to make something happen sooner and she, for whatever reason, made it very clear that she didn't want interference. The Doctor didn't even feel able to step in and you took it as far as you could logically go. One day when the grief guilt has passed you will realise that you did all you could. One day when YOU are Doctor Martyn (OMG there's a series about you already) you will have a great insight into the dilemas facing chronically sick people and their families.
As I said earlier, the wake is always a good thing for me as I usually learn something about the person that I didn't know and often it is a time to tell old stories of better times. It's good for the older folk too as they can cement old family ties, much needed at times like this. Having said that, not everyone is the same and it may not be what you want. That's ok too.
The florist will usually have books of floral displays. It is quite tasteful to have a long display to put on the coffin cos they can look quite bare without but then that is personal too. Take a look and see what looks right to you. Your Nan might want to put some flowers on the coffin too.
Sounds like you are all doing really well. It's not an easy time. It's a lot to do in a short time and just when you're not feeling up to much.
You've all been on a huge rollercoaster ride and you need each other's comfort now. Keep the communication going and tell each other how you feel. It should help in the long run. x :hug99:
What you have heard is probably nothing you hadn't suspected. You tried hard to make something happen sooner and she, for whatever reason, made it very clear that she didn't want interference. The Doctor didn't even feel able to step in and you took it as far as you could logically go. One day when the grief guilt has passed you will realise that you did all you could. One day when YOU are Doctor Martyn (OMG there's a series about you already) you will have a great insight into the dilemas facing chronically sick people and their families.
As I said earlier, the wake is always a good thing for me as I usually learn something about the person that I didn't know and often it is a time to tell old stories of better times. It's good for the older folk too as they can cement old family ties, much needed at times like this. Having said that, not everyone is the same and it may not be what you want. That's ok too.
The florist will usually have books of floral displays. It is quite tasteful to have a long display to put on the coffin cos they can look quite bare without but then that is personal too. Take a look and see what looks right to you. Your Nan might want to put some flowers on the coffin too.
Sounds like you are all doing really well. It's not an easy time. It's a lot to do in a short time and just when you're not feeling up to much.
You've all been on a huge rollercoaster ride and you need each other's comfort now. Keep the communication going and tell each other how you feel. It should help in the long run. x :hug99:
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