Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Good morning all!

Well, thank you SO much for your lovely posts... I am still over the moon and, better yet, I CAN get into my biking trousers (just) so plan on picking up my lush new bike on Monday afternoon!! Wooohooooo!!!!

I haven't told Shrek as he will be out on a ride out from the rally on the Monday and I intend to get my bike and when he gets back it'll be a done deal!

I tried the Diet Cream Soda - yuckity yuck yuck! Tasted disgusting so threw it away and told Shrek to help himself if he wanted it as I really didn't... am wondering if (horror of horrors) it might be because it is so sweet! (I have a real sweet tooth but it really was rank!)

I did some baking for him and he's pleased he gets to have them all, lol, I do love making fairy cakes ... and he loves eating them so that's good!

He has a job interview today - I am really hoping he gets it, it will make life so much easier on so many levels... please send positive vibes his way... I did wish him luck as I set off to work this morning.

Am still undecided as to whether to camp or not this weekend but if I do it will only be for 2 nights so I can have a good nights sleep Sunday and Monday be all refreshed for my ride home!

Got lots to do here in the orifice and plenty to think about for the weekend... still as chuffed as Cheryl about the loss this week and looking forward to more over the coming weeks! Am going to arrange to visit my mum next month when I should have lost at least another stone... but not before... I want it to show and see if she can see the difference.. lol

Happy Friday all! xxxxx

 

[Eclipse]

Morning, I am liking the sounds of your plans for the weekend.

Your mum will deffo see a difference honey. Have a good day x x

 

[HelenG]

Oooh - well done on the trews, can't wait to see a pic of the new bike

Wishing Shrek all the best for his interview. Has he been out of work for long? I know how debilitating it was for my OH to be out of work for a long time, I'm still not sure he's fully recovered even now and he's been in work for two years now.

Have a lovely weekend

 

[tech1960ps]

I like fairy cakes as well I don't do much baking myself. I would be the size of a house if I did
Camping and biking go hand in hand, fun times.
When we need to get away from it all here we go to the cabin. It's a wooden shack in the woods, very wild west.
Have a fun weekend, i'm working:sigh: can't wait for my days off.

 

[octavia]

Hi Jenny,

I feel so inspired and proud for you as you throw yourself whole heartedly back into your weight loss journey. I dont know if you remember but you inspired me completely 3+ yrs ago and I went on to lose 10 stone 2lbs with LL. I was still a stone off target when depression hit and within 12 months (during which I fought an intense battle with myself and my weight and lost completely) I had gained the weight back. Now 2 years on I am heavier than my previous heaviest and feel so so ashamed of not managing to keep weight off, and so frustrated. You have the right attitude - pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get back into the race
What a strong lady you are - and I am just in process of deciding what diet is right for me and rejoining the race myself
Can I beg you not to move your diary to silver or gold sections? I just dont get chance to post often although love to read and I miss Rachel, Hope, Karen, Pam etc since they all migrated!!

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Hi octavia, and welcome to my diary. What can I say except I can totally empathise. I have been fighting the same battle for years and only came off the antidepressants when I lost my weight, and, as events happened in the last 2 years I now find myself back on them once again along with this flipping excess weight.

Well done on losing your weight, and please, don't beat yourself up about the gain. It's happened and no matter how much you wish it hadn't it has. Folks like you and me and, I suspect, countless others, are affected by life in a way that we make bad decisions about food and so, the weight creeps back up.
It's life honey and we are the only ones who can sort it out. But. We can only do that when everything is right for our heads to get a grip and deal with it.

Sounds to me like now's the time for us both again.

I wish you strength and luck, it's hard but we did it before.
I won't move my diary. Bless you for all the kind words, and, for looking for the solution to your weight challenge because that surely is what this is!! Xx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Well, diet still going fine .. Camping however not.. Lol dog was way too cold bless him so had to come home and then go back then come home again so he wasn't alone all night and go back again thus eve then home again , lol Dread to think how much it's costing in fuel but hey ho, I love my biking friends so well worth it !

Shrek still at rally so it's great as I get space and peace too. I think my taking my own tent etc may have helped him realise just how deeply damaged our relationship is. Oddly enough he texted last night to check I got home!! And again this morning to ask how I slept?! Why is he only ever like this when things get this bad??

Well, it's too little too late now and we will be making some changes here pretty soon.

Was going to be really lazy but, having watched telly all morning my brains dead so just right mode to do housework in! Starting at the top I'm going to burn out the vacuum cleaner motor!! Lol

Was tempted to strip bed but that just may be a step too far, lmao. In this wind it would be dry in minutes though so yeah, will do that too! Time enough to laze later, reckon if I just get stuck in for a couple if hours that should see it all done and me knackered, lol

Happy Sunday all x

 

[HopeSprings]

Hi Jen, what a treat it is to read an update from you So pleased to read that all's going well with the diet.

Men will always baffle me... I remember years ago I was seeing a super cool dude...after a while I told him that I was offski as I didn't feel loved or appreciated... he staggered me by saying he thought I KNEW that he wanted to settle down and MARRY me Erm NO mate, I'm not psychic...again a case of too little too late!

I bet you're mega excited about tomorrows collection of your new bike. You'll be away in fantasy land whilst you're flicking your feather duster around.... ha ha I can picture it now

Have a good one!!

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Oooh - well done on the trews, can't wait to see a pic of the new bike

Wishing Shrek all the best for his interview. Has he been out of work for long? I know how debilitating it was for my OH to be out of work for a long time, I'm still not sure he's fully recovered even now and he's been in work for two years now.

Have a lovely weekend

Hi Helen
Sadly Shrek didn't get the job - this is a frequent ocurrence - he gets an interview and then doesn't get any further.
I am sure it is partly his age and that he has a very "old school" style of managing and in this case he was told that although they were looking for a firm manager they felt he would be too hard. (I agree. When he was a manager he used to come home and tell me all kinds of things and I used to groan inside and wonder how come he was still in work - and then I think he spat his dummy out and lost his job. They dressed it up as redundancy but to be honest he showed me the email exchange that followed and it certainly WASN'T the impression given!

He has not had a job since last August - basically because he is not prepared to even consider anything that isn't management level. I would love to have the money to have a year out of work and still do all the stuff I wanted to!! He hasn't got a grip of how much harder its going to be the longer it continues. I have tried to suggest voluntary work, charity work, anything to give him a focus and a purpose each day but he won't do anything at all that is for the benefit of someone else...

I am sure that if he got a run of the mill job he would regain confidence and workplace experience and learn what style of management employers want these days... he has loads of transferable skills but just point blank will NOT consider anything other than customer service management... *sigh* He won't even register as unemployed despite knowing it affects his national insurance payments and that when he reaches pensionable age that he may suffer financially for his pride!

Losing his job rocked his world apart but he hasn't done much to change it. I have a feeling he will end up going to live with his mother in Wales and just become a sad old drunken hermit.

I am stunned at how attentive he is being this weekend now I have made it very clear by my actions that I would prefer to be alone than with him... it's always the way so I shouldn't be surprised really... and I guess he may even be affectionate when he comes home... I hope not... I'm not interested anymore... not in him nor any other man. I need to like me for a change. I know I come across as insanely selfish and yes, I am now. Perhaps I always have been... but I don't think so... but I'm not prepared to share my life with him any more.

Shrek basically threw one of his melodramatic strops, that's what cost him his job. He is a huge child and he thought he was indispensible. No-one is. I'm certainly not, nor is anyone else. Everyone, in the workplace, is replaceable.

The thing is, the company he "left" is still in business and not replaced him. So it goes to show he really was surplus to requirements and it was probably a combination of his attitude and their looking for an excuse to cut costs and his was the highest salary... (apart from directors)... but he talks the talk... just that those who interview are wise to bull$hit these days... and so he comes a cropper...

I just wish he would lower his aim and be glad to have ANY job... I just KNOW it would do him good to have a routine and a role and feel needed... and he would take pride...

Ho hum...

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Hi Jen, what a treat it is to read an update from you So pleased to read that all's going well with the diet.

Men will always baffle me... I remember years ago I was seeing a super cool dude...after a while I told him that I was offski as I didn't feel loved or appreciated... he staggered me by saying he thought I KNEW that he wanted to settle down and MARRY me

Erm NO mate, I'm not psychic...again a case of too little too late!

I bet you're mega excited about tomorrows collection of your new bike. You'll be away in fantasy land whilst you're flicking your feather duster around.... ha ha I can picture it now

Have a good one!!

Hiya
Oh Men are a total puzzle to me - I used to think they were so simple, Feed 'em, F*ck 'em and basically be a mother to 'em and they're happy. Now that may seem very basic but I think actually it's pretty accurate.

I was mega excited but the insurance isn't through so it will probably have to wait until Tuesday now - which is fine - another day to lose more weight and therefore give me more flexibility in legs and neck... (will explain that another time)... but needless to say, I will be a safer rider if my clothing fits properly or loosely than skintight...

I hope to one day get back into my leathers... I used to feel so sexy in them and so comfy - plus they disguised my revolting thighs... I have decided (forgive if I repeat myself) that I am going to have my thighs operated on when the weight has gone... I know how my mental state was affected when I got to goal before and I must avoid that feeling at all costs, otherwise my efforts will be worthless !

For those who remember "fit bloke"... he has promised to help me get fit again with cycling... I aim to get a rack for my pushbike so I can do it! For now though I am going to dust off the wifit and just banish Shrek to his room for half an hour a day so I can exercise in private. It shouldn't be a problem for him - he plays his games for hours on end...

Right, I am going to promise NOT to mention Shrek in the next 3 posts! lol Must try and stop being so negative about him... and try and focus on looking forward to when this weight is gone and how much healthier I will be and how much more emergy I shall have!

I have blitzed the house and the floors are all vacuumed and washed, carpets vaccuumed, surfaces still to be polished but bed stripped and all washed and hanging out in gale force winds drying very quickly, lol, and clothing now in machine. Kitchen spotless, floor washed too.. and stairs and landing sorted and cleaned... flippin heck, anyone would think I was "nesting"... perhaps I am... it is that, erm, well... it WILL be, that TOTM very soon... unless the diet messes them up again...

Oh, and my hair is falling out again, just like last time... thankfully I still have more than enough so will at least save on shampoo! lol Right - the floors are dry now so it's time to polish and then I ought to empty the car out and get my tent packed away ready for the next rally in a fortnight!

 

[Redpam]

Hi Jenny,

I feel so inspired and proud for you as you throw yourself whole heartedly back into your weight loss journey. I dont know if you remember but you inspired me completely 3+ yrs ago and I went on to lose 10 stone 2lbs with LL. I was still a stone off target when depression hit and within 12 months (during which I fought an intense battle with myself and my weight and lost completely) I had gained the weight back. Now 2 years on I am heavier than my previous heaviest and feel so so ashamed of not managing to keep weight off, and so frustrated. You have the right attitude - pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get back into the race
What a strong lady you are - and I am just in process of deciding what diet is right for me and rejoining the race myself
Can I beg you not to move your diary to silver or gold sections? I just dont get chance to post often although love to read and I miss Rachel, Hope, Karen, Pam etc since they all migrated!!

Hi Octavia

I remember you from last time. Dont worry there are a loy of us who have put the weight back on. I have been losing the same two stone for the last three years. This year I am determined that all of it will be going for good not just two stone.

The easiest way to up your posts is to join in the word threads of which there are quite a few. You know change a letter etc. When they created the gold section I suddenly lost the diaries of friends that I had had for 4-5 years so that is what I did and I had about 1000 posts to do. When you decide what diet you are going to try, start a diary and that will increase your posts greatly too.

Good luck with whatever diet you decide on. We are all here for you.

Pam xxx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Well, I'm sitting here waiting for another burst of energy... lol... think I may just have to MAKE it happen... if I simply just get stuck in I should have the polishing done within an hour... and then I can re-make the bed, put away all the clothes that are now dry and the bath mat which should be dry now... and empty the dishwasher.. and sort out the bike club orders... put away my camping stuff.

I'm supposed to go back to the rally tonight for the quiz but it's soooo cold and my foot really aches... argh... what to do... don't need to decide for another couple of hours or so... might see how I feel then...

Would love to see my mates but am also thinking about the costs... (petrol)... and I do feel a bit tired already...

Perhaps just sinking into a lovely deep radox bath and having an early night might be a better idea... and hope above hope that my friends might take my "forgotten" items to their home which is only 15 minutes away (as opposed to 45!)...

Liking your advice Pam xxx nice one! )

 

[HelenG]

Oh Jen :hug99:

Sound so much like my house 3 years ago -however you still have at least one post to go before you can make any further comment on the green one so...

Did you find another burst of energy? If so would you like to come and blitz my place
Sort of mixed feelings about the insurance - sucks that you can't go cruising tomorrow but like you said it gives you a little more time to make room in those trews

For what it's worth - I don't think you are sounding selfish at all

 

[tech1960ps]

"Oh Men are a total puzzle to me - I used to think they were so simple, Feed 'em, F*ck 'em and basically be a mother to 'em and they're happy. Now that may seem very basic but I think actually it's pretty accurate".

Speaking as a man, I don't need a mother, have a perfectly good one thanks. I can cook, clean and look after my two teenage children. What I have always wonted in a women is someone I can talk to that I feel is my equal. It has become more important to me as I've gotten older. I need someone with opinions that is not afraid to voice them. If I watch a documentary on tv I like to discuss it afterwards, mental stimulation is important for me. I also like to cook for my lady, run her bath and make her feel like a queen.
I even put her nail polish on her toes and fingers thats the sort of devotion I give.

Good luck to everyone with tomorrows weigh in.

 

[HelenG]

"Oh Men are a total puzzle to me - I used to think they were so simple, Feed 'em, F*ck 'em and basically be a mother to 'em and they're happy. Now that may seem very basic but I think actually it's pretty accurate".

Speaking as a man, I don't need a mother, have a perfectly good one thanks. I can cook, clean and look after my two teenage children. What I have always wonted in a women is someone I can talk to that I feel is my equal. It has become more important to me as I've gotten older. I need someone with opinions that is not afraid to voice them. If I watch a documentary on tv I like to discuss it afterwards, mental stimulation is important for me. I also like to cook for my lady, run her bath and make her feel like a queen.
I even put her nail polish on her toes and fingers thats the sort of devotion I give.

Good luck to everyone with tomorrows weigh in.

Then she is a very lucky lady Tech - wish there were more about like you

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

"Oh Men are a total puzzle to me - I used to think they were so simple, Feed 'em, F*ck 'em and basically be a mother to 'em and they're happy. Now that may seem very basic but I think actually it's pretty accurate".

Speaking as a man, I don't need a mother, have a perfectly good one thanks. I can cook, clean and look after my two teenage children. What I have always wonted in a women is someone I can talk to that I feel is my equal. It has become more important to me as I've gotten older. I need someone with opinions that is not afraid to voice them. If I watch a documentary on tv I like to discuss it afterwards, mental stimulation is important for me. I also like to cook for my lady, run her bath and make her feel like a queen.
I even put her nail polish on her toes and fingers thats the sort of devotion I give.

Good luck to everyone with tomorrows weigh in.

There are exceptions to every rule... you are now one of just 2 men who are such an exception... and, as Helen says, she's very lucky.

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Well, it's been pouring with rain and I don't care! I've had such a lovely day with my younger daughter and feel, for once, in relative control of my life (well, as far as food is concerned in any case..lol).

Weigh in isn't until Thursday but today marked the end of week 3... so am hoping for good things again.. not going to get too high a hope though but would be so good to lose at least 3lbs... 4 would be great and 5 would be a flippin miracle! (but would help me sneak down into that next stone marker...)

I did get a second burst of energy yesterday and the house looks so much better for it! All washed, polished, vacuumed and tidied up. Paperwork sorted out, bills paid online, and to top it all a lovely quiet evening alone - except for the dog.

I decided I simply couldn't face another freezing cold evening in the marquee as my foot was really playing me up and the almost 70 mile 'round trip would've taken me longer than the time I would've been there - so... decision made and favours asked (I asked some friends to take my forgotten camping chair and my crocs home for me)... I snuggled up in bed and watched films until sleep took me blissfully away to another place entirely!

I awoke quiet early but as the dog wasn't moaning to go out I was a real lazy bones and stayed in bed until 8am.

My lovely daughter came over and we sorted out loads of clothes for her to take on her holidays - she left here with 3 pairs of crops, at least 8 tops, a dress, a brand new cardigan, 2 handbags, 2 sarongs, 2 pairs of brand new sandals (bought years ago and never been worn due to my rotten foot!!)... and a lovely pair of feminine cotton jimmy palmers. She was thrilled to bits and now is less worried about her holiday. I am cat-sitting for her and her fella whilst they are away - another week of blissful peace for me! Yippee!!

So - here we are... Monday evening and I have to nip out and pick up my things and then come home and perhaps read... or have another bubblebath. Won't be having an early night... not tonight... but not a late one either as work tomorrow and I already have a list in my mind so know it will be a busy and productive morning.

I have my BP and weight check at the nurse tomorrow afternoon and, if the weather clears up, should be collecting my new toy!! Oh I DO hope so... but "he-who-shall-not-be-named" has come back from the rally with a cold and has taken to his (our) bed... had I known I would have cleared off the spare one and made it up for him... the very last thing I need right now is a cold and he's not renowned for knowing that legendary "hand over mouth" routine...

Right.. not allowed to mention HWSNBN so won't!

Off out now... should be home by about 9pm so hot drink of my Marigold Bouillion should keep me going 'til bedtime and then another day closer to my weigh-in!

Is it really all that weird to look forward to being weighed? Hope not... but then again... don't really care if it is... as long as it's going down...

Hope all have had a great Bank Holiday Monday (in the UK).

Techy - please don't be offended by my being so brutally honest in my postings... I speak as I have found... it could be that I am just a very poor judge of men... or too gullible.. or a combination ... I think now that I am probably going to end up a permanent singleton, and I am not saying that as a negative thing either! Time will tell... time will tell... (I am sure I still have a good amount of gullability and poor judgement left to still exercise... lol)

 

[Eclipse]

Evening, just catching up. Glad to had a lovely day with your daughter. Best to get the spare bed cleared off and then its always there ready for Valdemort x x

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Home again and just had my mug of veggie stock stuff... and another can of delicious Dr Pepper Zero...

I agree Cheryl... tomorrow's job will be to sort the room out sufficiently to make the bed up... although I am not entirely sure how I will do that as there are boxes of stock on it and no floor space left!! If push comes to shove then I will have to stack it up on the landing - that's all there is to it!

Ought to go to bed really but seriously don't want to... so ... another half an hour and then , maybe... *sigh* bad isn't it..?

 

[HelenG]

I've been planning to hit the hay for the last hour now

Hope you can find enough space to make the spare room 'comfortable' for HWSNBN - I'd offer you some of my new wardrobe space but I'm a bit too far away