Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

[IreneH]

Tomorrow is another day and don't beat yourself up too much. You could have had far more and caused much more damage but you didn't. Don't feel too bad
Irene xx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Hiya Hun, seen as i've just hung up the phone after emergency calling ya when I saw your post, theres not much more that I can say except to confirm what I said on de phone You can never expect to achieve 100%, 100% of the time, so that unrealistic target must be dropped NOW!!!!!, 100% 95% of the time allows for human error, cuz thats what we are, human not robots....
As for Mr K and his disappointment, that was not the way he should have shown his support, you are perfectly capable of critiqing (sp?) yourself, its a friend you need not a critic...so you can tell him where to stick his disappointment....people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...when hes sticking 100% to CD like you've been and getting fantastic weightlosses then we can review this LMAO Head up, girl your doing brill, it was pickled onions LOL, next time add some value if your gonna beat yourself up over it...in other words eat something tasty LMAO....

LMAO - you're so bad! and.. like I said before.. he was responding out of love not criticism.. 'tough love' as I call it.. well.. it is tough.. but it is still love.. he had no way of knowing how I would react, but he sure as hell does now!! lol

Thanks again... sorry for making a mountain out of a pickle jar!

 

[cazmaz_irl]

LMAO - you're so bad! and.. like I said before.. he was responding out of love not criticism.. 'tough love' as I call it.. well.. it is tough.. but it is still love.. he had no way of knowing how I would react, but he sure as hell does now!! lol

Thanks again... sorry for making a mountain out of a pickle jar!

LMAO,,,,i'm really proud of ya, and thank god ya changed de title of your thread, you were gonna get a text from me, but i was holding back...LOL...now whos de control freak,,,,LOL, yep that'd be me......

 

[Isis]

Hiya, I'm ok Lacey, thank you I just got in a bit of a "blergh" moment - know what I mean??

The thing with me is that I do need telling off (sometimes) but there are ways and means.. and I actually (and I know you may find this odd) believe he was totally responding out of care and concern. He was very surprised as we had had a vey in-depth talk about the diet and how hard it is to stick to.. blah blah blah.. and I do, absolutely believe, he utterly has my best interest at heart. Given how I have been feeling of late with the diet, I think he may well have been very worried that I was starting on a slippery slope and he wanted to help me not go down that route..

Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement too


I feel daft for posting it now.. but hey.. it's how I felt so it's done.. and in the morning in the cold light of day and having had a decent amount of sleep - I will probably feel very foolish for having even mentioned it! lol

Thanks again - all 3 of you... and a special thanks to Cazmaz for the phone call

Jennie

I do understand the "bleurgh" moment and that's what most of us do on here quite often. I think it keeps us sane and lets us know that we are not alone. Please don't feel daft or anything for doing that post. It's how you felt.

I understand what you are saying about needing "telling off" and that your best interests are at heart. Sorry if I was on my "empowerment of women" soapbox Just didn't like to hear you sounding down about yourself.

Lacey xxx

 

[pandora]

just caught up, the comp was being hogged yesterday !!!!
hope you feeling better today, Huggs n love coming your way, as you know i have no right to chastise as i pick more than you think about it
xx

 

[mindless]

I feel dreadful... I broke my 100% today - I had 3 pickled onions.. now.. I didn't think that was TOO bad until I was trying to make excuses for it to Mr K and he told me he was very disappointed..:sigh: Now I feel absolutely terrible.. my rationale was.. 3 pickled onions equates to about 15cals.. and no carbs, fats, etc etc.. and I know, I know.. it's really excuses and trying to justify it.. but I REALLY didn't think it was too bad.. but I guess he is right .. and he is right to be disappointed .. I did make the choice to have them.. and now I feel terrible about it. .................

Okay now, deep breaths and a moment for reflection .......................

....... so you're human - well thats a shock - not . everyone here is human and has had at some time struggled with what you have - and most have had the slip (in nature) that you did - just very few have gone 18 weeks before that first slip - and that probably came as a shock.

Taking things in perspective - 3 onions is nothing in terms of the 'mechanical' impact that it will have on your diet and you will no doubt have another good loss this week.

Alas, things are rarely 'mechanical' around food and the 'emotional' is probably the most dangerous issue. You had been feeling this coming for some time (from your diary this is clear) and the onions would have been as a result of this.

I should imagine that deep down you were disappointed at breaking 18 weeks of amazing strength and when it was verbalised, it tapped into that.

This diet should be done for you and if you have the added bonus of wanting to do it also for someone else then great - but doing it for you is the issue.

The main thing is to make sure that this was an isolated 'pothole' on the road to success and not an indication that the road surface is starting to deteriorate from now on.

As you mentioned, he wasn't mean or anything and was just worried about this not just being a 'pothole' moment. 'Tough love' as you call it - but just a bit blunt (terrible male trait).

I am sure that this was a 'pothole' incident, you have so much determination and things to look forwards to - try 'dreaming' like I do - it may not work, buts its fun!!

Good luck at the weigh in today - I am sure the onions effect will be un-noticeable.

Post it out loud and we'll all be here to cheer the numbers

 

[cah-ching]

I feel dreadful... I broke my 100% today - I had 3 pickled onions.. now.. I didn't think that was TOO bad until I was trying to make excuses for it to Mr K and he told me he was very disappointed.. Now I feel absolutely terrible.. my rationale was.. 3 pickled onions equates to about 15cals.. and no carbs, fats, etc etc.. and I know, I know.. it's really excuses and trying to justify it.. but I REALLY didn't think it was too bad.. but I guess he is right.. and he is right to be disappointed.. I did make the choice to have them.. and now I feel terrible about it. .................

What do you ACTUALLY feel terrible about?

1) eating the pickled onions?
2) blipping your diet regime?
3) telling Mr. K?
or
4) the fact that he said he was disappointed in you?

I'd say it was a combination of 2) & 4). I personally wouldn't beat myself up about it and I'm terribly pleased you are feeling better about things this morning. As for Mr. K, of course he is disappointed, but not ANNOYED with you, but disappointed in the break of your resolve. Thus he isn't actually disappointed IN YOU I'd suggest he was disappointed FOR YOU.
He still loves you and gives you unerring support. When he used the word 'disappointment' He was supporting you (IMHO) not chastising you.
Men do have a habit of not articulating themselves well at times just don't ask him whether you bum looks big in anything you wear .

Good luck with your weigh in today.

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Monday Feb 12th 2007

well.. it's Monday morning... a fresh day. A fresh start.

Feelings about the pickled onion saga remain but I've said enough about that. Thank you all for your comments.

I find out today about the job. That's kinda been bothering me as I don't anticipate good news. So. We shall see. Apart from that I just have a heavy working week stretched out before me, job applications to send off, need to try and work out how to sell some of the clothes on ebay (if I can get some money in it might help me feel more positive about my housing situation), and this diet to stick to. (not necessarily in that order of priorities!)

Forgot to say, pub quiz last night was loads of fun again. New landlady very chatty and asking how much weight have I lost now? She's lovely - very slim, very loud and very Scottish! lol

We won 2 rounds out of the 4 last night so another profitable evening! lol

I'm tired this morning - bit of a restless night.. not aided by my having discovered (upon arriving home from pub) that the dog had helped himself to the contents of the bag of 'expired' items Zoe had sorted out! So... strewn across the living room floor were: empy horlicks box, empty multi-vitamins tub, 1 empty lemsip sachet, several cappucino sachets., a christmas present (dunno WHERE he got that from!), a bag of filter coffee (well.. more accurately - the contents of the bag.. ALL over his bed... the rug... the floor...)... a chewed up specs case (no sign of the specs!!!! - think they were mine.. but despite searching for them, I can't find them!! (my bloody new ones too!!) So, when I get home I shall have to vacuum and have a really good search for the specs.. damn dog!

Needless to say, when I see Zoe later I shall be setting her straight!!

Got to work nice and early, thanks to my 'alarm'. Loads to do today as boss even rang me yesterday evening with a list of stuff!!

So... big day today - job news and weigh in. Let's hope at least one of them is positive.

 

[pandora]

Monday Feb 12th 2007

well.. it's Monday morning... a fresh day. A fresh start.

Feelings about the pickled onion saga remain but I've said enough about that. Thank you all for your comments.

So... big day today - job news and weigh in. Let's hope at least one of them is positive.

Hey Jen, lets hope its good news about BOTH of them
xx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Hey Jen, lets hope its good news about BOTH of them xx

Now that would be nice Cheryl

Ailsa just texted me, so I'm off to her straight from work and having an early weigh in.

Had a text from my friend Lisa - she wants to bring me up to speed on her complicated love-life.. am I rotten? I don't really want to know about that today... I just want to get my work done, get weighed and go home.. might even go to the hairdressers and get my hair done as missed my appt friday... in fact.. I'm going to do that , so , hopefully, I can be getting that done from around 2pm/2.30pm ish.. and then relax this evening (or do the festival programme). Mind you, think Lisa will call in so that might not happen either... I can't really afford the hairdressers but it does make me feel a lot better.. hmm... maybe not today - maybe tomorrow after the gym.. or weds afternoon... or Friday.. hell I don't know! :sigh: Anyway - better go. Not been on here all morning - just had the site sitting in the background but it's a distraction.

Will let you know about job if/when I hear. Will post weigh in results later this afternoon. (unless I go to hairdressers)!

 

[Gen]

Hi Jennie.... fingers and toes and everything crossable crossed for ya today

you kept popping into my mind over the weekend about how well you are and have been doing... pleaes do not let urself go anywhere near the slippery slope... its soooooooo not worth it!!! 3 pickled onions... forget it, move on... it was nothing!!!

Good luck for your weigh in and job news today hun!!!

love

Gen xxx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Hi Jennie.... fingers and toes and everything crossable crossed for ya today you kept popping into my mind over the weekend about how well you are and have been doing... pleaes do not let urself go anywhere near the slippery slope... its soooooooo not worth it!!! 3 pickled onions... forget it, move on... it was nothing!!! Good luck for your weigh in and job news today hun!!!
love Gen xxx

Thanks Gen.. am really worried about the job thing.. I desperately need it. As for the slippery slope.. too close for comfort yesterday and still not happy.. and have to wait until the last week of Feb for AAM which is probably just as well as I think if I gave myself permission to eat at the moment, AAM would not quite be what Cambridge have in mind!!

(bit 'bunged' up in the digestive area too - which doesn't help matters much!)

 

[beaubride]

Hi,

Good luck with the job!!

 

[Gen]

Hey... i've robbed this quote from Aubergine on the Sizest thread... but it is soooo true and something for you to think long and hard about... you are doing so well and please do not take ur eyes of the prize!!!

"I'm almost halfway there to my goal now and for the past couple of weeks I have been unfocused and messing about, and I think the reason is this. I've just reached the point where I blend in, and it's made me a bit cocky. I'm fat now, but in the normal everyday way, not the way that provokes stares and giggles and "what has she done to herself?" remarks."

love

Gen xxxx

 

[MadamDotty]

Hi Jennie

Just catching up with your thread again, fingers crossed for you for your job news and your weigh in later.

xx

p.s. I'm not even going to mention the (whispers) pickled onion incident as it's in the past

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Thanks

I still haven't heard anything about the job and am guessing that the interviews were delayed due to the weather - either that or they aren't going to contact me at all! lol

Either way - I still don't know what's happening.

Weigh in - Ailsa sat me down and we discussed the onion thing, and she put a whole different perspective on it all. She told me that it was a breakthrough as it made me really focus on things AND... it shows that I DO have control, because I only had the onions, then stopped and continued with the plan! So I feel LOADS better about it. We talked candidly about the diet and how I feel at the moment and it helped a lot.

Then was the scales! She made me get on and off and on and off again and I could hear her say.. 'oh no.. it didn't go lower' so I thought I hadn't lost anything.. lol.. but I have..

I lost 4.6lbs!!!
​

this makes me bang on 17stone dead. She was willing the scales to show 16... lol I was oblivious as I would never have guessed to lose this much this week.. so when she told me I was chuffed to bits!

So... motivation topped up quite nicely I got my packs and came home. Told Mr K how I did and he was delighted for me. Can't wait to see him again.. not long now. (Thurs) ​

 

[cah-ching]

well done

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

thank you

 

[cah-ching]

Tis alright. Yo're doing brilliantly. What else is there to say?! Pickled onions? What pickled onions?!

 

[IreneH]

Congratulations Jennie. So happy for you
Irene xx