Blonde Logic's Stream of Consciousness/Diary

wow BL look at your lovely new picture, you look absolutely gorgeous honey xx
 
Just read your 'visiting Mom' post.

You, your mum and family went through so much.

Dont know what to say, but couldnt read it without posting.

Sending you big hugs
xxxx
 
Thanks very much ladies. :) Thanks Gracie. xx

SB, gosh - it was such a lot that happened, now that life is reurning to something more normal, when I sit and reflect and look back - I can remember days where I just felt I would never come out the other side. Certainly was horrible - but - they always say god (or whoever peolpe believe in) will not give you more than you can handle....

But sometimes you have to wonder why do you have to prove it, ay? ;) I know you understand!! ;)

Ahhh. Life. Never ever dull.

xxx
 
I like dull when it comes to life. Means no crisis. Can lack something on the excitement front though x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
Hey lovely lady,

Had to pop in and post. I'm on Pg 16 of your diary.... cant stop reading it. I've laughed, I've cried, I've been totally inspired and in a weird way feel like I know you (hope that doesnt sounds weird) even though I've never met you.

Up to RTM, will be reading the rest over the next couple of days...Lordy what a journey. You were so open and honest, really amazing.

I dont want to rake up the past but I hope you've forgiven your self gorgeous big, big massive hugs

I feel so honoured to have read your diary
xxxxxxx
 
Tis a good one to read for sure. I followed it live as my first LL trail run was at the same time as BL. I would like to find SB's one but no joy! Suggestions please :)
 
I looked as well lol. But no luck:cry:

xx
 
gracielou09 said:
Hey lovely lady,

Had to pop in and post. I'm on Pg 16 of your diary.... cant stop reading it. I've laughed, I've cried, I've been totally inspired and in a weird way feel like I know you (hope that doesnt sounds weird) even though I've never met you.

Up to RTM, will be reading the rest over the next couple of days...Lordy what a journey. You were so open and honest, really amazing.

I dont want to rake up the past but I hope you've forgiven your self gorgeous big, big massive hugs

I feel so honoured to have read your diary
xxxxxxx
Click to expand...

Aw, Gracie! Thank you for such a nice post!!! Imean that - you make ME choke up!!! :eek: lol

Thank you, I have forgiven myself - though the chatterboxes pop up every blue moon and challenge me. Chatterboxes mess with a lot more then just food and when you keep stuff nicely buried for so long - it only makes sense that things will jump out and surprise you at times.

The difference is, after CBT and everything, I know how to deal with it in a much healthier way. Even though I blew it recently - I know why I did, and its not the same.

So bless ya - your comments really mean an awful lot. :)

xxxxx
 
Clarabow said:
Tis a good one to read for sure. I followed it live as my first LL trail run was at the same time as BL. I would like to find SB's one but no joy! Suggestions please :)
Click to expand...

I didn't know you were here then! :) Your stats say you joined in 2011...who were you back then? (or is it secret?) no worries, I am just curious now!!! :)

SB did not keep a diary. She justs flits around the forum, lighting here or there like a gorgeous little fairy, inspiring and sharing wherever she lands! :D


xxxx
 
I was a serial lurker and lacked the confidence to post. This time I comitted to doing things differently. I have to say it is making it a far more successful experience.

You were one of the main ones I followed till I threw my dummy out of the pram with my lighter life counsellor. The old one not mynew and super improved wonder woman one.

I dont think you had got to goal before I left, but had taken a trip to the states.. Remember you talking about what happened to your knees and legs. The flaming awful guy you were with before the beloved you moved on to then. Inspiring stuff. I was doing a catch up when I first joined in April and caught your thread about how you were trying to refocus and the sad news about your mum. I was one of the ones to post in that, and it was wierd as I to felt as if I had known you lol Terrible cyber stalker that I have turned into.

So quiet genuinely interested to see how the story develops. xx
 
Well Clara - lucky you weren't a cereal lurker (lol) :rotflmao:
I agree, BL was very honest and brave with her diaries which is why she's an inspiration to so many people here.
I couldn't be so open somehow although I have shared a lot of my life experiences one way or another. I wasn't that brave. :cry:
Suffice it to say I buried my substantial emotional issues under many tons of food and drink over the years - the tears and money I invested!
To think that anyone would ever refer to me as a gorgeous little fairy........ thank you BL.
Love ya hun xx
Guess what? Lovely LLC bought me brunch today. A weird experience, eating together.:confused:
You 2 have been my greatest support through this ongoing journey.
Thank you sincerely. xxx
:hug99::wavey:
 
Both of you have been brill. Exceptionally supportive and kind. I find I post more in other people's journals than my own. I am glad however that I am posting this time round, it helps heaps.
Onwards ladies xx
 
Hi Ladies,

I am glad that you doing better BL. You were inspriational to me when I was doing LL.

Mel
 
Hello peeps :)

Well, what an afternoon. I have been to the eye clinic, and what a palava (sp?) Long story. My eyes are still dialated so I cant see the keys perfectly at the moment.

Still so happy about my loss so far - 1.1 stone in 2 weeks - very happy. Makes a real mental impact. Not so much physical yet, but I know thats not far behind.

And feeling so in to the diet. Absolutely tucked in to it.

But after the ordeal at the hospital, I came in and boy was my chatterbox wanting me to have a "little something" to relax. Noisy thing! It only lasted about 15 minutes, but was obviously triggered by a bit of stress and anxiety.

In CBT we discussed how Thoughts affect feelings - feelings affect behaviour - and behavious affects our actions or choices. That has really been sticking with me.

I think that is one reason a positive attitude on this diet is so essentialy. For me, its the easiest diet I have ever done - but I don;t think it wouldbe if I felt down about it all the time....or felt sorry for myself, as was the pattern on other diets.

Its certainly resonated with me, and makes me want to pay more attention now and see how that can and can;t work for me in other aspects of my life and not just around food.

I think I am seeing a benefit of starting over again in a New Starters groups rather then a returners - I feel much more open and receptive to the information coming from the LLC and the group - like a sponge. Where the first time around there were so many emotions and expectations and unknowns, in a good but overwhelming way - this now feels like I am soaking up the knowledge more effectively. I am finding it so interesting.

I can contribute that to the group too - they are all committed, and open, and have a lot to offer.

So, its all good. All good.

I am so happy to be back in control and so happy to feel my old friend, "Steely Determination" again. Theres just no stopping now. :)

Well, going to chill for a bit in my darkened lounge - I think my peepers have looked at this screen as lng as hey can. and then have my packs.

And then tomorrow is my Friday!!

Life can be good. :)

xxx
 
Thanks BL. I need help with my thoughts. They are really my main problem. The exotic and realistic things that pop into my head are unbelievable! I totally agree with you that thoughts affect behaviour if we're not careful. Thanks for that timely reminder xx
 
Hi Bl
Well done with the 1.1 stone. We are doing the thought booklet at the moment and it is such an eye openener.It has helped me a few times this week to stop pause think and act appropriately.
Keep up the good fight.
Cathy
 
Well done on losing over a stone in 2 weeks!!! Fantastic xxx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
Hi BL

Long time no chat :( I hope you remember me, profile pic has changed and i'm now dark and not blonde:)

I haven't posted on Mins for a long time and in my time of abstinence I have amassed 2 stone!!! So am back on CD (started today).

Well done on your 1.1 stone loss that's amazing! Although you always were a pretty remarkable lady :)

Look forward to reading your posts in the next couple of months :D

Tracey
xxxx
 
Of course I remember you Tracey!!!! I have missed you too!!! I often pop on to your profile to see if you have been around, and it is good to hear from you.

Thanks for the props - yeah, I am in a situation I didnt want to be: a returner. But sh*t happens... lol I had a very traumatic year last year - I lost my mom after a horrible accident - and, well the bottom of my world fell out. I clung to good behaviour, as long as I coul - and even went pretty far....but then I just sort of imploded and lost the plot. SO here I am again - at last back (mostly)to "myself" and am now in the right head space to crack it. SO we can do it together~! You'll drop those 2 stone in no time. I am after about 4. Why not. lol :D

It really is so nice to hear from you. You were always one of my favourite MM's ladies. :)

xxx
 
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