Blonde Logic's Stream of Consciousness/Diary

[Kira]

Morning BL! That's great others are noticing your loss but moreover it is even better that you yourself can see a difference. Catching one's reflection can be pretty scary especially when you don't recognise yourself (ie.when we carry too much weight) but its just as much as a shock albeit a pleasant one getting the shock noticing the slimmer reflection!

Loving the necklace and can't wait for you to share pics of your new outfits like you did on your previous journey. I am so very excited for your on this journey even more than last time because you so deserve after such a rough time. I am inspired reading your posts as I can feel a joie de vivre as I read and even if you may not be feeling it, it is the feeling I get from reading your recent posts. Thank you! (ps maybe been bit low with recent stresses usual live stuff and I am determined to look forward and not in the fridge!!)

 

[Spanglymum]

Beautiful jewellery, BL. You are very talented, and it's lovely to see you expressing yourself. You'll just have to make yourself another one!

And brilliant to hear you sounding so positive and upbeat. Love the anecdote about seeing your reflection. I had the opposite to that on Sunday - and needed reminding that someday soonish I will be able to see results again too. xx

 

[MinnieMel]

Morning BL,

Beautiful necklaces. Are the black stones volcanic rock? I have a necklace with little black stones like those.

You sound fab.

Are your feet any less painful? I'm do hoping that losing the weight will help.

Wonderful NSVs you've been receiving.

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi Ladies.

Well, yesterdays weigh in was 2 pounds, so all heading in the right direction.
beads are indeed lava - in real light, not my phone, they are brown. First time I have used them and I quite like the effect.

Thanks everyone for your nice cmments. It feels good to be creative again. I hope it lasts. My head wanted to but my heart was never in it.

Mel, what did you mean by NSVs?

Kira, sorry youhave been feeling a bit low. I hope things change for you soon - stress is awful. xx

Oooops - hubby just had some round flat food substances delivered in boxes.... so I am going to remove myself from the room and make some soup.

xxx

 

[MinnieMel]

NSV = Non Scale Victory

Like measurements
Smaller clothes fitting
People noticing
Feet hurting less
Able to cross legs
... Things that show you're improving your health, making progress, etc. besides a number on the scale.

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi everyone! I hope you all had good weekends and that the week is shaping up nicely, jut like us.

I had a good week on the scales- 3 pounds gone! So now 1 pound shy of 2 stone. Happy with that. Still no real change in clothes or physical pain yet - but hopefully soon. Everone keeps commenting on how slim my face looks. Great LOL Face must be about a size 10 now. Wish the bod would catchup!

Anyway its all good.

How are all of you doing? How are you keeping Spangly - are you in the groove yet?

Happy days everyone!

xxx

 

[Spanglymum]

Morning, Blonde. Lovely of you to think of me. I'm doing good. Really good actually. I had a wobble at the weekend, foodwise, but got straight back on plan on Monday (so I haven't weighed this week in case glycogen weight gave me a crooked excuse to binge! Will weigh again on Monday). More to the point I'm in a totally different place than I was, mentally and emotionally, for years. I have had four counselling sessions so far and it has been amazing. Subtle, but amazing. I posted on my diary about it so won't ramble on on yours as well!

So pleased you're getting back to your goal. Two stones is brilliant. We can do this, can't we? xxx

 

[MinnieMel]

Wonderful losses!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Thank you Mel!

Spangly, I am so pleased to hear you sounding so much more positive!! Isn't it amazing what a few weeks of regaining control can do to ur mood. I have been getting back in to beading, and I see you have been drawing. Good stuff!!! I will pop over and see your progress. I have hardly had time to get on here this week. Work has been draining every last ounce of energy!!!

Keep on keepin on everyone, and YES Spangly - we CAN do this. xxx

 

[Kira]

Wow! BL that's a fab loss! I, sp pleased for you! You will all. See the losses I'm clothes and feel improvement in the physical pain. Just keep doing what you're doing!

I meamy to mention to you and Mel That my DH has discovered that our local ddepartment alter has an American food section so he's been buying peanut butter, Hershey's and just American stuff! Obviously at a premium but he seems to be in heaven!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Welll, I got very lucky this week. For no real reason, I managed to put a few bites of a beef stir fry I cooked my husband in my mouth. This was Saturday. Ii do not know why I did it. It just looked and smelled beautiful and without half a seconds thought it went in my mouth. About 5 times! LOL Followed by a few spoons (soup) of rice. I do not know why I did it. That made a couple of days difficult - then on Monday I picked at a few stupid things at work - a couple off boiled sweets. And THEN on my way to weigh in I bought a small packet of nuts and 2 baby bels!!! What CAME over me!!??? Anyway, I went to weigh in and confessed - (if I have to confess anything I have always said i Must do it before I way so as not to get away with it if thats how it goes), and this week, that is how it went. I lost 5 pounds!! I got lucky, but know I could still see some damage next week thought I do not think there was enough eaten to worry too much about that. I am totally over it and fully focused so far today. BUt what a wired stupid little blip!!! A lucky escape but just nonsense. Back to focus miss. lol

How are all of you out there? Hopefully chugging along, full of posivitiy - and keeping your eyes on the prize!!

Hasn't the sun been glorius!

 

[Blonde Logic]

My ticker wont update? Anyone else having problems?

 

[MinnieMel]

Afternoon BL!

Great loss -- I'm glad you fessed up and know that the "damage" might not show until next weigh in - that said it might just have boosted your BMR a bit and you burned it off.

My ticker wont update? Anyone else having problems?

It takes a little while to update.

 

[Kira]

Great loss BL and I am full of admiration you didn't let that small amount of "offplan" food tip you over the edge. It is so easy to falter and fall off........I know I've been and off for the last month or so it seems. Starting the day of well and then just caving in. It's getting to the point for me that even my 3 personal training sessions are not enough to keep me maintaining I need to have a calorie deficit in addition to the training otherwise I am heading back well into the next stone bracket. I reckon that a 7lb gain is equal to a 2-3 inch waist gain (for me anyway as I just measured my waist and it is scary!)

I'm really pleased you are doing well and I agree with Mel that it may have boosted your BMR and simply not show any effect other than another good loss next week!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi everyone. I am feeling a bit deflated after a pasting by my new line manager. For the pst 3 years, me and my peers have been wroking in HORRENDOUS conditions. We had a new IT system bought (as cheaply as possible) and it is not fit for purpose. It has been 3 years of serious IT issues - constant work arounds - constant changes of procedures - just constant STRESS. In that period there have been 5 instnaces of people signed off for stress....its been hell. Management has offered NO support, NO apologies, NO gratitude for staying and coping with it. They turn a deaf ear, and the place is just meant to manage itself. Its been awful. So we have thins new manager who is a big blow hard - he is loud - bolshy - extremely conceiter and arrogant and talks ONLY about himself. All he appears to do in the 3 weeks or so that he has been there is go outside every 15 mintues and smoke. He seems to be making up "busy work" and talking about himself. Thats about it. For the past three weeks 3 of us have been doing the work of 6 because one was on holiday, the other is signed off for stress and the 3rd was never replaced when they left the position. Its been hell.

So we had our 1st one to one yesterday. And within 5 minutes he tells me "I feel Jan that you are not committed to your job." Because I made 2 errors: 1) accidentily forgot to hand in a chegue fo £30 to deposit because it got burind under in coming work and paperwork for 3 or 4 back to back calls - itsbusy - it got buried and I only found it as I worked through the messages, etc. The other, 2) I accidentily included the wrong piece of paperwork in an envelope. (Blank form for completion by the customer) - so no DPA issues, etc. And 3) he felt a message I left on voice mail was sarcastic - despite no comlaint being made by the customer, a return call from the customer whichh was friendly, and a lot of fun banter - so THEY were not offended. So after putting up with this all for three years, and after they hung me out to dry and took me through a disciplinary procedure for missing time from work when I was signed off with PTSD following moms accident/death and for being stranded by the incelandic volcano at the same time....after all this and I am still there working my heart out to be told i am not committed felt like a kick in the gut.

And this done the afternoon before I go into the hospital this morining for surgery.

Just utterly deflated, hurt angry and upset.

So anyway, I may be off the radar for a few days, depening on how well I bounce back from anesthesia - sometimes I respond quickly and others not so much. (20th surgery for me. :/)

Wish me luck. I hope I wake up feeling better about my job. At the moment I wanted to abandon it.

xxx

 

[MinnieMel]

Oh my, I'm so sorry Jan. Tge job thing seems to be an epidemic in this country -- you are not alone.

Good luck with your 20th!!!! Surgery. I hope this time is the charm.

 

[Blonde Logic]

I am feeling rotten. This is by far one of the most painful surgeries I have ever had. (hemmorhoid) I can;t get enough pain medicine down me, and even then it barely touches the surface of it. I am so miserable. I thought I was a pro at surgeries - this one has the best of me. It was apparently quite sever though and the veing spiraled right the way up. She it is no surprise = i jut never knew there were so many nerves up inside - sorry to be bluunt - but its agony. Not a happy bunny in sight.

I do not know if abstinance is helping or hindering. I have a constant urge to go, but there is little to nothing to come out. I must avoid straining, yet that is ner=arly impossible because the urge is so strong - obviously scrambled nerve endings sending the wrong message.

Anyway - feelin really lousy.

I need a hug.:cry:

 

[MinnieMel]

(((((HUGS)))))

I'm so sorry. Ouchy. I hope it heals quickly and you're glad it's done on dusted.

 

[Kira]

((((BIG HUGS!!!!))))) Awh! You really are going through the mill! Ok with work stuff leave it there ... I'm the office. Let them putin disciplinary but record everything thing on paper in a file note. Check if the procedure allows you to submit a formal grievance. Just for the record.

Howver, for now concentrate on recovering from your surgery and stickin either to plan or if that is causes more problems try to be conscious of the calories your are having just have more salads etc and less packs maybe? Do not let the stress of work or the pain for surgery derail out when you've done so well. Keeping posting and remember there is always support here.

 

[Kira]

Jan hope that made sense with all the typo's!

I completely understand you just be feeling rotten and that's probably and understatement what with being in pains too!

But try will all your might not to turn to food for comfort to make you feel a little better etc. only have food if you need it for purely nutrious purposes that may help be careful and mindful of what you may choose to eat. You've done so well so far and we need to support you to get throug this rough patch. X