Brain ache !- my diary !
- Thread starter pandora
- Start date
westiegirl
Gold Member
Hi Cheryl
Well done on day 6 for you! I admire your determination, wish I'd been able to stick to it this week, but ho hum. Next week is a new week and I'm on day 2 already so fingers crossed!
Hope you had a great time at the party last night. Your outfit sounds fab!
Much love as always
Well done on day 6 for you! I admire your determination, wish I'd been able to stick to it this week, but ho hum. Next week is a new week and I'm on day 2 already so fingers crossed!
Hope you had a great time at the party last night. Your outfit sounds fab!
Much love as always
pandora
finding my way again !
well, we went to the party, which we had been led to believe was 50's fancy dress, just appears most of the other guests had not known / forgoten this 
. what the heck, a good time was had by all, till it came to coming home & hubby decided to get arsey - he walked, i drove, feck him, i can't be doing with him when he gets like that. He's allready got up & gone to work this morning, so at least i don't have to put up with him today :clap:
just going to have my yummy vanilla coffee & then off to collect the girls from my mum's.
oh yea, sorry to all my supporters but i fell off the waggon a tad to the buffet table last night. Not going to beat myself up, its life & steadfstly back on it today !
xx
. what the heck, a good time was had by all, till it came to coming home & hubby decided to get arsey - he walked, i drove, feck him, i can't be doing with him when he gets like that. He's allready got up & gone to work this morning, so at least i don't have to put up with him today :clap: just going to have my yummy vanilla coffee & then off to collect the girls from my mum's.
oh yea, sorry to all my supporters but i fell off the waggon a tad to the buffet table last night. Not going to beat myself up, its life & steadfstly back on it today !
xx
westiegirl
Gold Member
Sorry that you and your hubby fell out, but I hope you enjoyed yourself anyway.
Glad you're not beating yourself up about the buffet, today is another day and you're almost a full week through yee-hah!
Glad you're not beating yourself up about the buffet, today is another day and you're almost a full week through yee-hah!
mayredrain
Member
mayredrain here feeling sorry for myself today hubbys birthday was yesterday and yes i had dinner. feeling very loww now after losing 9lbs first two weeks tomorrow is weigh in and start of week three.wish me luck
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
hey Pandora
really sorry to hear about you and hubby's disagreement... hope things calm down sufficiently for niceities to be exchanged later today Well done for getting back onto the diet today, glad you aren't beating yourself up about the buffet. Will try and call you one eveing this week - prob Tuesday - unless of course you are working.. lol.. I'll text you xxxxx hope today is a good one for you x
mayredrain - good luck for tomorrow. Don't worry about eating at hub's birthday, its done and you can't change it now. Just stick to it from now and it'll all go fine. Have you thought about starting your own diary? I find it so helpful!! Good luck, drop by to my diary and let me know how it goes. All the best.
really sorry to hear about you and hubby's disagreement... hope things calm down sufficiently for niceities to be exchanged later today
Well done for getting back onto the diet today, glad you aren't beating yourself up about the buffet. Will try and call you one eveing this week - prob Tuesday - unless of course you are working.. lol.. I'll text you xxxxx hope today is a good one for you xmayredrain - good luck for tomorrow. Don't worry about eating at hub's birthday, its done and you can't change it now. Just stick to it from now and it'll all go fine. Have you thought about starting your own diary? I find it so helpful!!
Good luck, drop by to my diary and let me know how it goes. All the best.
pandora
finding my way again !
hubby has come home & first thing he says is sorry i was being silly last night ,i don't even know what it was all about !, like thats going to make it all better, but thats men 4 u isn't it !
i don't deserve to be spoken to or treated that way, us splitting up a couple of years back doesn't seem to have changed anything, he still does his own thing without consulting anyone, so now thats what i do too, 2 can play at that game, except he just says yea ok you do that, i allways say you don't go out enough/ do enough for yourself, oh well they say we're from different planets, i recon it would be easier to live with another woman sometimes, least we would think alike haha !
Jen i'm at work tues, thurs & fri this week
xx
i don't deserve to be spoken to or treated that way, us splitting up a couple of years back doesn't seem to have changed anything, he still does his own thing without consulting anyone, so now thats what i do too, 2 can play at that game, except he just says yea ok you do that, i allways say you don't go out enough/ do enough for yourself, oh well they say we're from different planets, i recon it would be easier to live with another woman sometimes, least we would think alike haha !
Jen i'm at work tues, thurs & fri this week
xx
pandora
finding my way again !
morning all.
the start of another new week & on updating my tickers i notice i hav achieved goals 1 & 2 (on my signature) i'm now overweight & have lost 10 % of the remaining weight i had to lose when i set the goals, so i'm pleased with that.
have just cooked chocolate chip brioche for girls & their friend who slept over last night, god they look & smell yummy - me ? i'm just about to have a lush vanilla coffee shake
its a lovely sunny day here, so this afternoon, once Charlee's friend has gone, i think we will take Toza out for a nice walk.
will check in later to report how the day has gone
xx
the start of another new week & on updating my tickers i notice i hav achieved goals 1 & 2 (on my signature) i'm now overweight & have lost 10 % of the remaining weight i had to lose when i set the goals, so i'm pleased with that.
have just cooked chocolate chip brioche for girls & their friend who slept over last night, god they look & smell yummy - me ? i'm just about to have a lush vanilla coffee shake
its a lovely sunny day here, so this afternoon, once Charlee's friend has gone, i think we will take Toza out for a nice walk.
will check in later to report how the day has gone
xx
pandora
finding my way again !
well as planned we went for a lovely walk this afternoon, we drove down to the river & walked all along the bank, meeting lots of other dogs on the way, which Toza loves, he's such a friendly little chap, although very vocal & bouncy when people come to the house.
as it was warm the girls had bought a towel along with them so that they could dip their feet in the water, it was a tad on the cold side, but that didn't deter them.
it was a really pleasant way to spend an hour & so we have said, weather permiting, we will try for a walk each day of the holidays, good exersize for us all. the only down side was Charlee wearing her mew flipflops which of course rubbed between her toes, like we didn't know that would happen !!
all in all today has been lovely, no arguments,just peace & tranquility.
just trying to make my first jelly wonder how that will turn out
xx
as it was warm the girls had bought a towel along with them so that they could dip their feet in the water, it was a tad on the cold side, but that didn't deter them.
it was a really pleasant way to spend an hour & so we have said, weather permiting, we will try for a walk each day of the holidays, good exersize for us all. the only down side was Charlee wearing her mew flipflops
which of course rubbed between her toes, like we didn't know that would happen !! all in all today has been lovely, no arguments,just peace & tranquility.
just trying to make my first jelly
wonder how that will turn out xx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
sounds lovely ... (apart from flip flop rub!).. so glad hubby apologised too... that's a pretty big thing for a bloke to do
You're doing great - am SO impressed at your new resolve and determination! told my mum about you tonight when she rang. will speak soon about Dublin ! xx
(apart from flip flop rub!).. so glad hubby apologised too... that's a pretty big thing for a bloke to do You're doing great - am SO impressed at your new resolve and determination! told my mum about you tonight when she rang.
will speak soon about Dublin ! xx
pandora
finding my way again !
got up today about 1pm & then i'm not quite sure what happened, suffice to say i've stuffed my face with all sorts today, i don't know why, i wasn't hungry, bored, upset or anything else, i just did it.
feeling down about it now, so tommorrow will need to be a new day.
feeling down about it now, so tommorrow will need to be a new day.
pandora
finding my way again !
I AM NOT GOING TO EAT TODAY !!!!
that said, today i am feeling like a sad fat blob. I am feeling low, sad, generally cr*p.
i just can't be bothered any more, i look in the mirror & all i see are rolls of flab around my middle, the other bits arn't too bad, its just the tyre sitting round my tummy.
instead of eating all the crap i did yesterday, why can't i go for the healthy options, is it cos all food is banned at the mo, or just me being drawn to those types of food ?
that said, today i am feeling like a sad fat blob. I am feeling low, sad, generally cr*p.
i just can't be bothered any more, i look in the mirror & all i see are rolls of flab around my middle, the other bits arn't too bad, its just the tyre sitting round my tummy.
instead of eating all the crap i did yesterday, why can't i go for the healthy options, is it cos all food is banned at the mo, or just me being drawn to those types of food ?
In a word yes!!!
If i were to eat today, i wouldnt choose salad it would be macdonalds or fish and chips.
I suppose it's this that i need to change though, what is it they say if you dont change what you do you'll always be the way you are? I dunno something like that anyway!!
Why dont you buy some low fat cook books -it might help to inspire you to eat healthily once you've done CD.
If i were to eat today, i wouldnt choose salad it would be macdonalds or fish and chips.
I suppose it's this that i need to change though, what is it they say if you dont change what you do you'll always be the way you are? I dunno something like that anyway!!
Why dont you buy some low fat cook books -it might help to inspire you to eat healthily once you've done CD.
Karen1972
Gold Member
Hiya babes
How's it going?? Sorry to hear you've had a tough couple of days - dieting is full of ups and downs - we either feel on top of the world or like a bag of shite!!
Hope it's going better for you today chick, and it must be wonderful down there with this glorious weather?!?!
Lots of luv,
How's it going?? Sorry to hear you've had a tough couple of days - dieting is full of ups and downs - we either feel on top of the world or like a bag of shite!!
Hope it's going better for you today chick, and it must be wonderful down there with this glorious weather?!?!
Lots of luv,
pandora
finding my way again !
i havn't been posting for a few days now, i havn't been in a place that i wanted to share my thoughts.
where i have been hasn't been nice.
last week i posted that i was feeling crap but didn't know why. In the early hours of Friday morning the penny dropped, it was Good Friday, but its not good for me.
Good Friday 9 years ago (April 10th) is the day i went to hospital to terminate my allready dead baby. I cope with this on my own every year cos my hubby won't remember. At the time he was no use, just saying these things happen. At the time we lived in Warrington, i was alone & isolated, there was no-one there for me & each year i suffer alone, i still remember just as painfully as if it was yesterday.
As i sit & type this there are tears running down my face.
to cope with this i have turned to my trusty friend, the one who is allways there for me, no matter what, she's called food.
in reality although she's allways there in actual fact she does me more harm than good, she makes my abuse myself & at the moment makes me hate myself.
over the years i have used food to cope with a life i havn't allways liked.
if i eat & become unatractive no-one will take any notice of me
if i eat & become unatractive my hubby won't pester me for sex
if i become fat i can just fade into the background.
i need to learn to like myself.
i need to accept that other people like me.
i need to learn to have respect for myself.
i need to learn to stop abusing myself with food.
i have spent the last 10 days abusing myself & it has to stop - NOW
i have come so far i don't want to go back.
it is now 3 1/2 weeks till i go on holiday & i havn't bought any summer clothes yet, i was hoping to be in a size 14 to go away, but i don't know if i will make that.
tommorow i need to get bak on track, it will be hard, puryly for the fact it is the 10th tommorrow, but i will do my damdest
xx
where i have been hasn't been nice.
last week i posted that i was feeling crap but didn't know why. In the early hours of Friday morning the penny dropped, it was Good Friday, but its not good for me.
Good Friday 9 years ago (April 10th) is the day i went to hospital to terminate my allready dead baby. I cope with this on my own every year cos my hubby won't remember. At the time he was no use, just saying these things happen. At the time we lived in Warrington, i was alone & isolated, there was no-one there for me & each year i suffer alone, i still remember just as painfully as if it was yesterday.
As i sit & type this there are tears running down my face.
to cope with this i have turned to my trusty friend, the one who is allways there for me, no matter what, she's called food.
in reality although she's allways there in actual fact she does me more harm than good, she makes my abuse myself & at the moment makes me hate myself.
over the years i have used food to cope with a life i havn't allways liked.
if i eat & become unatractive no-one will take any notice of me
if i eat & become unatractive my hubby won't pester me for sex
if i become fat i can just fade into the background.
i need to learn to like myself.
i need to accept that other people like me.
i need to learn to have respect for myself.
i need to learn to stop abusing myself with food.
i have spent the last 10 days abusing myself & it has to stop - NOW
i have come so far i don't want to go back.
it is now 3 1/2 weeks till i go on holiday & i havn't bought any summer clothes yet, i was hoping to be in a size 14 to go away, but i don't know if i will make that.
tommorow i need to get bak on track, it will be hard, puryly for the fact it is the 10th tommorrow, but i will do my damdest
xx
MadamDotty
Back again!
Oh Cheryl I don't know what to say, what an awful thing to have to go through every year on your own, I can't begin to imagine the pain you've gone through and still go through, you can never get over something like that I'm sure.
but look how far you've come & be so proud of yourself & your achievements. Meeting you in Birmingham I saw a lovely, friendly, funny & warm person who I took to immediately who made me feel welcome and included me in the conversation straight away, when I was nervous & felt like a bit of an outsider who didn't know anyone. You're a very lovely lady Cheryl and you should like yourself, there is a lot to be liked and you are liked, by me and many others. You are very supportive and helpful on these boards and have given so much to so many people when they need it, so don't forget that.
Tomorrow is going to be hard, but you can get through it and you know that ultimately food is not going to help or comfort you or take the pain away. Take the time you need tomorrow to grieve and feel sad but give yourself time too and be kind to yourself, you really deserve it.
:grouphugg:
but look how far you've come & be so proud of yourself & your achievements. Meeting you in Birmingham I saw a lovely, friendly, funny & warm person who I took to immediately who made me feel welcome and included me in the conversation straight away, when I was nervous & felt like a bit of an outsider who didn't know anyone. You're a very lovely lady Cheryl and you should like yourself, there is a lot to be liked and you are liked, by me and many others. You are very supportive and helpful on these boards and have given so much to so many people when they need it, so don't forget that.
Tomorrow is going to be hard, but you can get through it and you know that ultimately food is not going to help or comfort you or take the pain away. Take the time you need tomorrow to grieve and feel sad but give yourself time too and be kind to yourself, you really deserve it.
:grouphugg:
westiegirl
Gold Member
Cheryl, like Jan I don't know what to say because I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.
Like Jan also says I saw a warm and wonderful person and thank you for coming to my thread to wish me luck, even though it was probably the last thing you felt like doing.
Ditto to the phone number comment - you know where I am too.
Looking forward to seeing you soon so I give you a big personal hug.
Like Jan also says I saw a warm and wonderful person and thank you for coming to my thread to wish me luck, even though it was probably the last thing you felt like doing.
Ditto to the phone number comment - you know where I am too.
Looking forward to seeing you soon so I give you a big personal hug.
