Cerulean's Maintenance Diary - 20 wks of SSing - Maintaining since 25/07/11

[octavia]

Hi Cerulean

I remember you very well from last time - I read your blog etc religiously as I began my own LL journey. I lost and gained 10 stone and am now in the "contemplation" phase of which diet to do and weighing up all my options.
Wonderful to read your daily updates, you write so beautifully That censorship was very unfair - I dont see why either??!
It must feel wonderful to be buying a new size 14 costume again - I can remember how rewarding it was to get into new sizes in my costume as I swam 4 times a week whilst I was losing.
I am going away in 2 weeks and have just had trouble getting a new costume to fit and have ended up in a size 30:-( It is good tho because it is fueling my determination to get it right this time.
Take care x

 

[Cerulean]

Agh - Octavia - I just wrote a long reply about why I started again! But I refreshed and lost it by mistake. Have a lovely holiday and come back refreshed and ready to consider your options (don't dwell on it too much whilst you're on hollybobs - just have fun!) and thank you so much for your lovely comment!

 

[Cerulean]

Just got back from the gym - a nice mile long swim - I'll tell you something, that Jillian Michaels knows her stuff, my back muscles are so much stronger already - I sliced 5 mins off my usual time without trying any harder - I even beat a speedy front crawling man whilst I was doing backstroke! Had a nice sauna and have a hair pack on at the moment...shall bath it off later to ease up my faintly stiff body. My obliques are really kicking in - I have a hard waist (shame about the fat wobbly bit around my tummy!) Going to have a cuppa and a sit down and then blitz the flat and try to clear up the kitchen and start getting rid of the leftovers so I just have my two eggs and a spot of veg for tomorrow night - my last 810 meal for 6-10 weeks depending on how the play(s) - I'm auditioning for another play which means I'll be rehearsing 4-5 days a week till the beginning of August - exercise and my social life goes!

When I got home I had 300g of v. low fat cottage cheese with a few small sticks of celery, chopped and sliced cucumber and some mint and spring onions. The instructions say 325g but it doesn't come in pots that size and as I live alone I don't really want to buy a larger pot and have it two days in a row - besides, I have to eat my last two eggs tomorrow!

Only thing is...now I have to get my milk down me and my soup and shake and I already feel like I've had a very milky lunch cos of the cottage cheese!

It was delicious and filling, by the way. I can't even imagine how awful a full sunday roast would feel now! I'm not even that big on the idea of cooked veg. I know that will change as I work back up again. But I do like these moments of really savouring simple low fat foods.

 

[Sauce]

Still I feel all motivated and have had a chat with my CDC about my angstattacks and I've said I'll stick to plan up to 810 week and if 810 improves my mood (although I'm pretty darn chirptastic today as it is) I might 810 for a few weeks just to lock in the loss and give my body and brain a break from total abstinence without going carb crazy.

Hmmm... I am wondering about this 'lock-in', please do explain to me?? I am in work and reading to keep awake, not obsessing on this forum - lol
BTW, your diary is really amusing - making me actually, really, 'LOL' no wonder you're a good writer and actress!! x

 

[Cerulean]

'Locking-in' is not scientific...but a few of the big blockbuster medical diets mention it. Basically it's giving your body the chance to stick at a weight for a while so that your body gets used to operating at that weight and Basal Metabolic Rate. The theory is that if you start dieting harder again, it becomes as effective when you first started - it's kind of a controlled plateau. It also gives your body a bit of a rest and helps to establish a new set point for your upper weight limit (although I'm sceptical about that as you'd have to stay there for several months if not years!)

 

[Cerulean]

Ugh - sorry - sleepy - thank you for saying lovely things! Also, I seem to be quite happy at the moment so I won't be sticking on 810 for any longer than tomorrow. Back to SS for me!

 

[Sauce]

Hmmm. Interesting, so u carb it up for a short, controlled period and then hammer and tong it again? Sounds too good to be true...

 

[Sauce]

I may do the same thing reading around on here. And don't mention it. Thanku for cheering me up and having unfailing humour x

 

[Cerulean]

Not quite 'carbing it up' but yeah - trying to stabilise your weight for a while...

 

[Cerulean]

What a disaster!

So I had my bar...decided to take it easy as I had a night off everything, as I arrived in work at 8am I thought 'I'll go home at 5, do the Shred, have a nice dinner and a bath and do some line learning'. I had a call from the play I'd written - could I go to rehearsal. Bum. If I went I would have to do the shred and eat all my food packs and my last meal at 10 at night. No. I came home. Did the shred - thought 'I can have a quick omelette and salad' heated up the pan. Tipped the entire bowl of egg on the floor. It's my last day of 810 - I live alone, I had run all my stocks of everything down to the last meal. Luckily I still had 150g white fish in the freezer so I poached that very quickly from frozen (too quickly to taste good) and I thought - I have a pint of milk left - the extra 150 ml can make up for the missing protein. Okayyyy! Went to rehearsal, worked hard. Very tired.

Day 4 shred
Shred had been hard in an odd way - abs had stopped hurting - am much stronger already and can do all my anterior raises - I'd had to stop once in the first set and twice in the second set until today. I also did all of my crunches in some form I figure at least if I'm crunching it doesn't matter if I'm not doing them all bicycle style just yet. Pushups were a disaster and still haven't cracked circuit one cardio...mainly because after yesterday's feeling that my fat was tearing off my abs as I jumped, today my dorsal muscles howled at me - and I am always terrified of back pain because I never get it, so the slightest twinge makes me panic. I have a feeling it's my back muscles engaging as when I sat with perfect posture, the ache wasn't there and I managed everything that involved them.

So - yeah - came home had a quick soup at 10pm - came to bed with a hot chocolate. Which I promptly threw into one of my favourite linen storage boxes that holds all of my formal (and expensive) psychology text books. And all over my duvet. And all over my latticed bedside table that holds my interesting and unusual fabric samples. I NEVER SPILL. Today I spilled 2 out of 3 spillable meals. Glad I don't eat my bar on a balcony cos no doubt I would have thrown it over the side.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I dunno what to do - I guess I've had 2 and 1/3 foodpacks and an almost entire 810 meal - I'm sure I'll survive - but - pfffttthhhhhh. What an idiot! And the fish gave me indigestion.

 

[Cerulean]

Day 5 of THE SHRED then...I only rested once for 5 seconds in cardio set 1 - how mad is it that I can definitely do more than 2 mins of cardio but the jumping does me in - everything else zipped up in a bag - I even did all my bicycles (it doesn't help that they start with focusing on the full move rather than Anita). I like that I can fit it in to my morning relatively easily - that 25 minutes is just right.

And so - my Tuesday morning weigh-in...I've put on half a pound in my 810 week. I know the maths. I know that even if I've weight wrong there is no way I have had more than an average of 810 a day all week. I know that that really means I have burned at least 2lbs of fat away. I've never done a proper 810 week before...it was TOTM. And my scales could just be weird, I suppose. I just can't stand the idea of my CDC thinking I came off the plan. I know she'll believe me - and I can take a pair of size 14 trousers to show her I'm down a dress size and I know I'm the 'THE SCALES MEAN NOTHING' queen. But still...I am definitely smaller in the last week so - that's something!

I have auditions tonight. I have to do another run up to my counsellor straight after work and then a run straight back to The City to my audition. Tough day.

Oh - whoops - edited to add that I ordered a proper sticky yoga mat and blocks and a belt and blankets to arrive tomorrow. I want to start my yoga practice at home. I am preparing for the eventuality that Level 2 of the Shred may have to be abandoned on SS - I can't see that Level 1 is going to be a problem - its no more than you'd do on a Wii fit game when you break it down - 3 min abs 6 min cardio 9 mins of squats and lunges and lifts - if a little condensed and more intense.

 

[Cerulean]

Day 91 and my 91st post on this thread - SPOOOOKY!

As suspected I put on 2lb in my official weigh in at the end of my 810 week last night.

However, I drank all of my fluids before weigh-in and ate 2 food packs and wore a jersey maxi dress and cardi rather than my short light cotton dress I usually wear on WI day.

So I'm a little annoyed that the gain even raised an eyebrow, because in my book that's not really a gain. So many times on LL I've weighed in wearing practically nothing (and I mean practically a vest and knickers) after a perfect week where I was wearing jeans and a jumper the week before and STS so in theory that was actually a gain.

Do you know that in over a year of officially following these plans, it's the first time I've ever had a gain whilst being 100% and I'm half annoyed (for breaking my record) and half cool with it.

I'm not hungry, I did not go over 810 calories on any day of 810 week - I had to do a bit of creative eating on one day, I've walked and kept more than active - I did my job, my body has got smaller and I feel lighter and fitter - that's all I ask on the whole. There's a lovely story I have in one of my childhood storybooks by HG Wells called The Truth About Pyecroft where a man wishes to lose a large amount of weight. The spell makes him lose all his weight so the immense Pyecroft is weightless but still massive so he has to wear lead weights in his suit to keep him from floating away. Lesson being: IT'S NOT ABOUT THE SCALES. What was somewhat annoying was the tape measure not budging either. Oh well - I know I'm smaller even if the weights and measures don't!

What is troubling is that now over 2 weeks I have put on 0.5lb - and over 5 weeks only lost 8 - which makes my abstinence sound like craziness if I've been getting worse results than WeightWatchers! And there are a few people round these parts who seem to delight in that fact which is making me a bit spiky. I know it balances out...I know...and I know ketosis and VLCDing works brilliantly for me. So why can't they leave me to it rather than crow about their way of doing it?

Still - next week's WI *should* be awesome and do I actually look bovvered?

I had my audition and it was fun and went pretty well - I am v tired at the moment - a bit too busy and too much running around from 6.30 in the morning until 10 at night 2 days in a row...luckily tonight is a night off...


This morning I day 6 shredded with my new sticky mat which made the world of difference to my abwork and my pressups. Man I'm strong now! I can get through the entire Level 1 workout (and I do extra crunches and lifts whilst they're getting off the floor)

Day 2 of total SS again. Not missing food. Not thinking about food. I'm properly in the full on zone...just 6 weeks now to a size 12. So weird to think that I was so unfit and unwell just 3 months ago and waddling around...and now people are saying 'wow' every time they see me...worth every stupid week of not losing an ounce

 

[Zippydooh]

Any weight loss is in the right direction! I find your diary fascinating to read! A big motivator!
Those weeks that you didn't lose, what did you put them down to?

 

[Cerulean]

Nothing! I am averaging out at the correct amount per week over 13 weeks...so I'm happy with that. You can't put a week's loss down to anything other than that was the week the scales went down. I've done weeks where I drank 4 litres of water and weeks where I drank the minimum...weeks where I did nothing, weeks where I did 10,000 steps a day and more. And all of them over the 52 odd weeks I have done this have yielded totally diffent results! There is no rhyme nor reason other than if you stick to it, the inches and the weight comes off. I once stayed at 10st 6 for 3 weeks and was perfect the whole time. It's just the way it is.

 

[Lily]

Nothing! I am averaging out at the correct amount per week over 13 weeks...so I'm happy with that. You can't put a week's loss down to anything other than that was the week the scales went down. I've done weeks where I drank 4 litres of water and weeks where I drank the minimum...weeks where I did nothing, weeks where I did 10,000 steps a day and more. And all of them over the 52 odd weeks I have done this have yielded totally diffent results! There is no rhyme nor reason other than if you stick to it, the inches and the weight comes off. I once stayed at 10st 6 for 3 weeks and was perfect the whole time. It's just the way it is.

I love this post. :clap: It should be required reading for all CD newbies.

 

[Sauce]

How do you work out what the average 'should be'? I just decided I'd like 2-3lbs a week ideally. I'd love to know if there's something I'm missing!!

 

[octavia]

I remember being on LL and I was 100 abstinent for 8 months - during that time I had 2 weeks where I stayed the same and that was ok - but 1 week where I gained and I actually felt fine because I knew absolutely that I had followed the plan and that gain must be due to body adjusting itself in some way (fluid retention or something). However, my counsellor clearly did not believe that I had not broken abstinence and it made me so angry having my honesty doubted that I ended up really fed up about the gain; when for the first time I could remember I was responding to a gain in an adult way!!!
You are doing amazingly well and your body must be really changing shape with all of the exercise and toning you are doing. Way hey!!

 

[Cerulean]

Yeah - My LLC had an assistant who was in a different room - if you stayed the same or the scaled measured 0.1lb over what they had the week before she'd say 'What did you eat' in a resigned voice. I was okay with it but I could see how someone else might have taken it really personally. But yeah, Octavia - responding in an adult way to a gain of a STS is one of the biggest lessons! Good for us!

Sauce - you can sort of work it out by using a Basal Metabolic Rate calculator for your current weight and your current activity level = eg 2000 in someone about 20lbs lighter than me's case (give or take) minus 500 cals for 3 foodpacks = 1500 - times by 7 = 10500 divide that by 3500 (one lb of fat in calories) = 3 therefore an expected loss of 3lbs for a lightly active person at a BMI of about 28. I'm a bit heavier and a lot more active so my weekly average is about 3.8-4.

And that is how you do the vague maths. It is nota precise science.

Als - the other way you know what the average is - LL used to promise 3st in 100 days (14 weeks plus 2) that figure was based on someone 3stone overweight only doing it for 12-13 weeks (they allowed a week's worth of mistakes!!!) the more overweight you are the more that average increases. At 7st overweight I lost 4st 10 in 100 days.

 

[Cerulean]

Day 92 -big whooo

Day 7 Shred done…

That's all I have to say about that - it's really easy once you get into it. I feel buzzy and alive after I've done it and it sets me up for the day…so - y'know…interesting. I'm only 3 days from theoretically stepping up a level…we'll see how thaaaat goes then…maybe I'll just keep on level 1 with 5lb weights…as the chest flies and biceps are way too easy for me on 3lb weights…cor - you should feel the guns on me after 7 days, mind. I'm STACKED!

I had a well hectic day today and I'm sort of thinking I'd like an 810 meal - I don’t really want it…but I did think about it…I forgot to bring a pack out with me and I won’t be home til after 11pm…so hmmmmmmm. Oh well - these things happen on a VLCD. My official home weigh-in (13 weeks from starting, shows that I put on 0.2lbs this week. Whoop de doop. I don’t care, I have abdominal muscles again and my legs are sculpting up nicely…

So Day 92 all done…next Friday will be Day 100 on this crazy journey - I really did not expect to be here in the slightest even for all my tough talking. It'll be my 3rd ever 100% 100 days in a row. I must be insane…

I wish I wasn't feeling quite so sleepy though…I've only been getting about 6 hours sleep (but amazing quality sleep in comparison to my usual fitful sleeping this time of year due to the daylight) partly down to going out in the evenings a lot and partly down to having a lot to do at work - I feel a lot less knackered than I usually do this time of year so exercise and weightloss has done me a few favours energywise!

Okay - so we all kow my weightloss has been weird recently if not my sizeloss…(wish I'd paid closer attention to measuring myself now - ho hum!)

So - right - lets look at the evidence. From week 7 to week 11 I lost 14.6lbs - 4 weeks - more than a stone - awesome! From week 8 to week 12 I lost 10.6lbs…not so good…and that's all perfect, mind…not even a whisper of an 810 day…week 9 to today (4 weeks)? 7.6lbs…that's never happened to me on CD before - but then I've never done 810 successfully before….I have been swimming 1-2 miles a week over the last month, but that's the only major change…other than 810. But I am a dresssize down on this time 4 weeks ago…so…OH I DON'T KNOW! Mustn't grumble. We'll see how the next week pans out. I'm used to being a speedy loser, though!

 

[Cerulean]

Day 93 and THE SCALES HAVE STARTED MOVING AGAIN! Oh the Relief!

Also my body fat and muscle composition as changed drastically in the last couple of days...

So yeah, it's all good.

I still have the dropsies though - threw my morning cup of tea everywhere and for the last two nights I have been clumsy with my hot chocolate and spilled at least some of it. I never quite know what to do in such situations as 3 food packs only gives 100& of the RDA - leaving of spilling any of it means I don't get all my vitamins...hmph - no counsultant has ever been able to satisfactorily tell me what I'm supposed to do.

Went to the theatre last night to see a fantastic new play - right up my alley...I was moved to tears and the script was fantastic and the acting just perfect. I was knackered after a very hard day at work and it was glorious to watch something that made me feel so alive.