Charmaine's Journey

Thanks mate x sorry to hear u got bad tummy. I know what you mean tho nothing will stop you! Its almost like second nature now thank goodness. How hard it is in the begining im thankful that i stuck with it because even now my family are used to me not eating with them and dont take any notice if me lurking around and sniffing their food. Ive even started baking cakes and pies, things i would never do before because im always on a bloody diet and had to hide away from it all as not to be tempted. But now i can because i dont even have to have the daily argument that i used to have with that voice in my head telling me i can eat it or i cant eat it and then trying to reason with that voice. Well now the voice is silenced and its liberating. I also want that voice GONE for the rest of my life. I would one day like to be able to eat without feeling guilt or shame or embarressment and enjoy meal times instead of dredding them. By the time im on refeed im hoping to have put all my inner demons to death!!!!
 
Bless you babe... It's so lovely to hear you feeling so strong... And I can relate to everything you said. Except for baking cakes cuz I literally cannot cook lol. But the point is I could if I knew how!! I feel the same... Just no weakness to food and can detach totally when cooking or seeing someone else eat. You and I have got it sussed! There's no stopping us :) and you will reach ur goal a lot sooner than me and I can't wait to see you get there!!! I'm sure if we have defeated the food demons so powerfully already, surely we can maintain that afterwards. We just gave to believe we can do it :) xx
 
I am so pleased that you two have made it this far and got into the zone.....it was three weeks for me and after that I felt invincible!

Good luck with the rest of your journey, ain't life great? X
 
Had WI and lost 2.5lbs im happy with that. Its the dredded week 3 so its better off than on :) im looking for a bigger loss next week but yay ive lost 14.5lbs in 3 weeks. 2 stone to go
 
you're doin great Cham.... im out every day in the back garden tidyin up ready for summer.... startin to feel the wave of energy ketosis brings!!!! everytime i feel a hunger pang... a big glass of water and a bit of housework... house has never looked so freakin clean!!!! only lost 2lbs this week so well fed up with that but its totm and after last weeks loss reckon i just gotta shut up and get on with it! have a good day kiddo!
 
Ah same for u 2 leluna x im too doing decorating and cooking/cleaning. The days are whizzing by now. Im concentrating on a big loss next week so really focusing on lots and lots of water and some excercise. Fingers crossed i need another stone off by the 16th April. Got a big family do to go to and wanna be a size 12. Gulp :)
 
A stone in a fortnight, brilliant! I am so confident you will be where you wanna be by the time your do comes around - will that make you ten and a half stone? I feel great at that weight - I'll never be a skinny minny as I have boobs and junk in my trunk but ten and a half makes me feel good - bring on size 12's!!! :bliss:
 
Thanks Lola x i will be a size 10/12 depending on outfit at that weight. Corrr its making me really excited. Oh i hope i can do it. OH has just said he'll buy me a new dress to wear. Have got a brand new size 14 sitting in wardrobe just incase i need it and it all goes tits up but NO it wont! Lol :)
 
size 10.... wow well for ya Cham!
 
You doing so well but i have to laugh at your post re baking. I've been baking fabulous things since going on this diet. I have some great recipes if you'd like them xx
 
jeez girls, dont know if i could bake... reckon thats just pushin the boat a bit too far! altho ive been out with my hubbie in restaurants this week so spose thats quite similar!!!
 
Kat you'll soon be back with us logging in ur lost weight wont be long now hang on in there! :)

Lolakerry...yes pulease wud love some recipes. Im really into cooking like never before just need some great ideas! Been baking teddybear cakes today oh and a heart cake for my Hubby! Lol he laughed when he saw it! Yesterday i made battered chicken bites with rice and a sweet n sour sauce all from scratch then straight after that a tuna pasta bake. My freezer is loaded to the hilt got no more room!
 
Dearest diary, feel like ive turned a huge corner, really finding the time to accept i have got emotional overeating issues and what i need to do to work through it. I feel quite detached from it at the moment because im on TFR and dont want to screw it up when i come off it. I realise now that actually i probably dont need to diet when i do come off this because i dont want to put myself in a forbidden zone where i cant have what i want. I want my head to be in a place so that i can enjoy a varied and balanced diet. I know i need to work on portion control, snacking in between meals and binging on quick and easy junk food. Prior to starting on TFR i would binge in private and then be totally and utterly ashamed of myself. Then the guilt and disappointment would kick in and i would feel depressed about it and restart yet again another diet club that i couldnt stick to because i couldnt stop eating. I would binge to hide my true feelings and emotions and for a short while feel satisfied. Once the feel hood endorphines had worn off i would carry on munching. tFR has detached me from all of that so i can take a step back and evaluate how i deal with food. Yes i admit im a food addict i cant control the way i eat but now i can at least start to work out a coping mechanism. I am going to eat unprocessed foods, no unhealthy junk food, i am going to savour every mouthful and chew it until its mulch instead of almost swallowing it whole and in huge lumps. Yuk when i think of it now it makes me feel like a greedy insatiable inhuman creature. I am going to STOP and access my emotions and feelings on certain issues/problems and find distractions/solutions. Food is NOT thr answer and food is not my only friend. People are my friends, family are my friends and good intentions are my friends not continous snacking and grazing. I never got hungry before i never allowed myself to. Im not hungry for food right now but i am definately hungry for self control. I am going to achieve my ultimate goal. Its not just about losing weight for me and looking and feeling great. Its about how i feel inside. I dont want to be slim and miserable and i dont want to be fat and miserable either. I want to feel total conyrol over food and i think the rest will follow. Sorry to be so deep but i needed to do this. I feel like its part of my recovery! :)
 
wow cham... well said... ringin loadsa bells for me... sick of feelin ashamed and upset when i know ive gone overboard. And you know what.... im the same with food, reckon i dont even chew it... before i know it its down the hatch and on the hips lol...! tryin myself to educate myself about goin out in 'the real world again' need to stop eating between meals and snackin at nights.... and like you really gonna savour every mouthful and enjoy the art of chewing again!!!!! great post.... you're doin fab and so nearly there!! x
 
Amen sista! :happy096: the food demons have yet to be laid to rest completely but I know Rome wasn't built in a day - I've had food issues for so long now that it will take a while but every day I am a step closer to being free of them. The detachment of tfr from food is almost like breathing a sigh of relief away from the issues associated with dieting, I can't enjoy a packet of crisps without thinking "oh, I've blown it I may as well REALLY blow it" and binging again. We'll get there, looks like you before me! but I know I can do this, we owe it ourselves more than anything x
 
Too true, lolapink and leluna, together ladies we can pull this off. We know its gonna be tough but to have empathic support from each other its almost sharing the burden and makes it that bit easier! :) i coyldnt do this without u girls here supporting me and just feel grateful to each and everyone of you whos helped me so far on my journey! Sending big kisses to you XXXXXXXXXX
 
You have spoke many a true wise word Cham...I can see much of my own demons there!

I am on day 4, and feeling a bit **** tonight, im hungry and headachey, have drunk 3 litres of water today, and fed up with the trips to the loo... There is that demonic voice in my head saying 'you know this won't last' 'you will cave in' your not meant to be slim etc, its my tom too, so even harder, i'm going to get to Monday if it kills me!! Think I will get an early night, I soo look foward to the morning, waking, and knowing I got through another day.

You are doing so well, this forum is so helpful, a true sisterhood! xx
 
Thanks Jenhen... You'll get there too hunny! You are probably doing the best thing by going to bed. Im so glad im past the early days it was soooo hard im still not sure how i ever managed it to be honest. The side effects to pass and it truely does get easier or maybe you just get used to it. Its difficult to drop a lifetime of habit but we must use the time away from food to evaluate our relationship with it and how best to deal with our problems. That in itself is a long and difficult task but if beaten we can ve cured. :) i so hope you keep goibg with it Jen you are worth the sacrifice dont give in! Good luck hun! :)
 
Thanks Cham x
 
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