ConstantlyDizzy 2015

Thinking of you today, it's not going to be easy, just go with the flow, take care xx
 
the funeral was a lovely but sad service. There were people there who he'd known from work/school round town who showed up doubling my expected list of around 30.....I felt so touched that they had taken time out to be there to give him a good send off. I'm feeling kind of empty now....not sure what im supposed to do, the last 2 weeks have been a build up to the funeral and now......well now I jus don't know. so many friends and family were asking if I was going to move back to Yorkshire....but its not so simple with the vast difference in house prices from here to there im just confused as to what my options are. It did feel comfortable on my home turf tho.....just so much to think about now. I need to start throwing things away....the excess night feeds from tony....clothes...countless pairs of trainers, but just cant quite make the start on it yet.....maybe tomorrow will be easier.I just really wish there was some definitive cut off point where someone could tell me this pain im feeling will go x
 
Oh Dizzy I really feel for you x Just take one day at a time ,we are all here for you and on fb if you need to "chat " can only send virtual hugs Take care of yourself xxxxx
 
Awwwwwwwwwwww I think it's far too early to think about moving back to Yorkshire. Tommorrow may be easier, but it may not, don't rush things, so if you don't sort out the trainer/clothes etc it's not great hardship, no bad thing will happen 'cause you haven't done it. Take your time, maybe when you're in a 'life will get easier' frame of mind do a little bit, don't do everything all at once, that will be so upsetting, well I think it will anyhow. You know we're all here for you and if you do want help with anything sorting out we'll be happy to come & help, just give us a shout.

Take care xx
 
Hello hun - im so glad he had a good send off ((hugs)), it shows what a lovely man he was and what his friends think of you too.

There is no rush to sort and throw things, you have all the time in the world. The stuff will still be there in 1 week, 2 weeks, 6 weeks, however long it takes.
Michelle is right also about no rush to move back to Yorkshire, you will know if and when the time is right. Concentrate on you for the time being, take time to grieve. Remember where we are if you need us xxx
 
Oh goodness Dizzy I wasn't expecting to read that :( I hope you are ok lovely. It's a very difficult time for you.

Don't rush to throw away Tony's clothes and things, let things settle a bit first and see how you feel in a few weeks.

If you were involved with a hospice, they should be in a position to offer to some bereavement counselling when you're ready.

Sending lots of hugs and support xx
 
had a rotten weekend....still not sleeping or eating so took myself to the doc this morning, hes given me a short course of diazepam to try get me into some sort of sleep pttern .....problem being ive been used to waking at 3am to change tonys feed for the last 11 months and cant seem to break the routine no matter how late I stay up. Hes also increased my dose of the bipolar meds to hopefully stop the downward spiral.....
I got a card and letter from the hospice, they are going to contact me in approx. 6 weeks for some counselling and to have some holistic therapies if I want to. I really do want to get some help but just not sure how il feel going back to the hospice at the moment....its all still very raw.
I gave up tryhing to bag up tonys things....every tshirt has memories that im just not willing to part with just yet. Im hoping as each day goes on things will get easier but its so lonely here on my own with no family/friends round me. Sandra next door has been great but shes all ive got here and cant expect her to be permanently round at mine xx
 
Oh love. Good for you for going to the GP, and I'm glad to hear that he's looking after your meds in a sensitive way. The routine will break, it might not be this week or even next but maybe you could put some things in place for those wakeful times? When dad died my mum suffered terribly with insomnia and so after a while she started taking a bunch of nice magazines to flick through when she woke up (she couldn't concentrate on a book, so a magazine is a nice compromise). A thermos with some hot water and a cup with a camomile tea bag in might be a nice idea as well?

Please don't worry about clearing Tony's things yet. There's no rush.

Have you had a look at Cruse? I have found them helpful in the past. Homepage | Cruse Bereavement Care

I can only tell you from my own experiences (and I haven't lost a partner) that it does get easier - but that you need to be very kind to yourself in the meantime.

Thinking of you. x
 
wine oclockis never good when youre doing it alone......

Hello my Dizzy Duck - wine o clock will be difficult for you right now. Could you turn it around and use it in a positive way, a happy memory you shared with Tony over a glass maybe? Maybe read a magazine or paint your nails whilst trying to relax a little. I know its hard for you and easier for me to say, as ive just caught up and read your other post, please be careful if doc has increased your meds if mixing with the wine. Love n hugs xx
 
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