Okay well today was destined to be a good day until I woke up
Got dragged into town with my daughter who wanted to get her nails done and spend some of her birthday money on clothes.
I'm not joking I sat in that nail bar for nearly 2 hours and it was packed out with damp damp people getting their nails done and slowly drying off at the same time..
The smell of the nail products and sweaty damp was knocking me sick :sign0137: it didn't help that all I had was a coffee because we all had slept in quite late. I refused my husbands kind offer of two cheese and onion pasties and an iced doughnut from the bakers
Anyway it was nearly 5pm before we had finished in town, it was pitch black and there was nothing planned or ready at home for tea :sigh2:
So getting home absolutely starving while everyone had eaten a few pies and a cake each earlier, everyone assumed we would be getting a take away earlier because of my daughters birthday.
Anyway in the end we all trotted off to Taybarns, because it had more choice for my daughter who is vegetarian and for me on the plan. On the way was getting all the prep talks of "mum just enjoy yourself tonight dont worry about the diet and eat what you want it's only my birthday once a year" and "start a fresh tomorrow just don't bother counting for your diet today" etc I know they where trying to be kind but they're weren't helping :sad0071:
Anyway I actually was doing REALLY well I chose things like the roasted vegetables and the baked potatoes and corn cobs. I had carrots and peas and parsnips and mashed potato and gravy with a small piece of chicken that I took off the bone and removed the skin. For pudding I had fruit salad and a tiny bit of custard....and here's where control started to slip slide away.
My sons both know I love chocolate sponge and also I do like a bit of apple crumble too - I just adore good old fashioned puddings with custard. So my eldest went and got his dessert coming back with a bowl of apple crumble with cream for me (the custard jug had run out) I ate it thinking well I've been really good and I should be able to accommodate this. So about 15 minutes later my other son trotted off to get his dessert and comes back with a bowl of chocolate sponge for me but this time swimming in chocolate sauce and cream
I tried to tactfully decline and say I'm full etc but he started saying oh it's only a few mouthfuls and I'd eaten the other pud so why can't I eat the one he's got me, it was all getting silly and I REALLY didn't want it, but I ate it and to be honest I could've left it but I didn't, can't blame my sons they didn't hold me down and force feed me
Yep I don't understand me either.
Anyway fast forward to an hour ago where I've just had a large piece of birthday cake, a handful of orange aero bubbles and some Maoam chews. My eldest has just handed round the creme eggs and me like a pig have snatched his hand off
.
Im back on it like a car bonnet tomorrow and I think I need a gain to show on the scales on Tuesday and then I might give me head a big wobble and get out of this mind set and get my head back in the game.
I've enjoyed what I've had this week but I would of enjoyed it more if I weren't stuffing it in my gob but savouring it Instead.
I've counted all my syns up Ive gone over with including from the binge on Tuesday and I've literally had 2 weeks worth of syns in 5 days, brings a whole new meaning to watching what you eat....I'm definitely watching it go in that's for sure
but.... I'm still using a element of control by writing down everything I trough and totalling the syns up no matter how horrific.
:break_diet:
See you tomorrow hopefully without needing the use of a JCB to move me around
xx
no I don't get it either. But alas I have no choice but to trudge through lots of snow flurries and no doubt will end up on my arse after doing a triple selco toe pick back flip and not like torville and dean either 
....
