Donkey's journey to deal with disordered eating and lose 6 stone!

[donkeysaurusrex]

How's your day back on it going?

Ahh man, the atmospheric pressure affects your symptoms? That's so annoying - wish you could have more control over it. The weather being responsible is just unfair!

Yeah shift work doesn't help me stay on plan but I figured my life is shift work so I've got to make it work. I usually just take 1 meal's worthy of food so I'll make a soup or a salad and take that in along with some fruit and a syn snack.

Do you ever get that thing where no matter how much you try you fall asleep in lectures (even if they're not boring) and you can't bring yourself to concentrate? Really struggling with that today

It is, but at least if I ever decide I need to move to Hawaii (great weather for migraines) it's a valid excuse
Sounds a good approach to take with shifts, I guess you just have to deal with it if it's your life! I'd probably find it difficult to be disciplined enough to resist chocolate and vending machines though!
Yup I know that feeling! Nothing will keep you awake in them no matter what! Hope you got through it ok and awake - I always used a dictaphone but was really lucky and had a note taker in all my lectures so I could sneakily get away with a snooze

The day's going well, lots of veg and cottage cheese and I'm munching my way through some fruit right now. Can't help but think about chocolate though - fortunately there is none in the house and I've lost my debit card so there's no chance of going overboard!

 

[timmieatimbo]

Can't believe I was scared of cottage cheese until a few weeks ago. I love it now! It does look pretty gross though doesn't it?

Gosh I struggled and had a little snooze, but the handouts were brilliant so I didn't miss anything!

Don't you always have chocolate in the house to stop you feeling deprived. I have a massive syn cupboard which helps me keep on track!

Sorry donkey, I've just realised most of my posts don't make sense - I'm awful at typing!

 

[Rataholic]

Your an Inspiration Donkey - keep up the good work!

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

Can't believe I was scared of cottage cheese until a few weeks ago. I love it now! It does look pretty gross though doesn't it?

Gosh I struggled and had a little snooze, but the handouts were brilliant so I didn't miss anything!

Don't you always have chocolate in the house to stop you feeling deprived. I have a massive syn cupboard which helps me keep on track!

Sorry donkey, I've just realised most of my posts don't make sense - I'm awful at typing!

Yeah it isn't the most appealing looking but it is very tasty! Fortunately I'm not too fussy about what food looks like as long as I've made it, so I can get away with some fairly nasty looking concoctions. A lot of people have an issue with the texture of cottage cheese too but I love it! Glad you're a convert
Good handouts?! I have never encountered such a thing - lucky you!

I can't have treats in the house because it will end up in a binge. Like today, I'm not deprived at all, especially after curry yesterday, but all I could think about was chocolate. It's not a real craving and it wouldn't have satisfied me so it would just have escalated. I wish I could keep things in the cupboards but I doubt I'll ever be able to. I know people say it's just a matter of greed and self control but it's deeper seated for me, so to protect things from going very wrong I do without!

Your posts make perfect sense - it's your tired brain telling you they don't!

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

Your an Inspiration Donkey - keep up the good work!

Aww thank you Rataholic, that's so kind of you

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

Masses of veg and fruit today and chicken fajita stir fry for dinner - around 5 syns I think it was. Reaaally fancy chocolate but I don't have any, which is a good thing frankly because I absolutely know I'd binge today. I've not had any pepsi max today either, which is unusual. I usually drink a lot of it but I know I need to be careful because in the past I've gone through phases of only consuming pepsi max and water. It got me through the first days of feeling very hungry and deprived when I was in a fast cycle, so I wonder if I'm just replacing chocolate and junk binges with fizzy zero drinks. Buuut at the same time I feel like at this early stage of losing the weight, which is really my priority for a while, it's safer to be drinking that than binging on high calorie junk.
Meh. Today is more or less over now at least, one down and only 5 more before WI day - trying to get as much of that 5.5 gain off as possible!

 

[timmieatimbo]

You'll get it off donkey. A couple of weeks and it'll be history!

 

[Poppet12]

I agree with timmie!
I know what you mean with the fizzy drinks- I was guilty of trying to use them when I was hungry, it suppresses appetite surprisingly well. Do you get on with sugar free squash? X

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

You'll get it off donkey. A couple of weeks and it'll be history!

Absolutely! I am surprising myself even with how laid back I am about it. Even if it takes longer at least it's going!
How goes your day timmi?

I agree with timmie!
I know what you mean with the fizzy drinks- I was guilty of trying to use them when I was hungry, it suppresses appetite surprisingly well. Do you get on with sugar free squash? X

I don't mind squash, only I tend not to drink it because I drink masses of plain water every day with no problem. It's something about carbonated drinks and how they feel in your mouth as well as the filling aspect that I like. No idea how my teeth are in as good a condition as they are lol. I'm going to try to do without the pepsi max in the volumes I have been consuming to see whether after a while it helps to cut down on snacking - I've heard things about how it can make you want to nibble all the time!

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

I am annoyed with myself right now. I've lost my debit card so had to order a new one. Not too much of an issue because I had just about enough cash to get me through '4 working days' except I've now got an interview and need to buy new shoes for it! Argh! Had to schedule it on Tuesday, the latest day available in the hopes that it will have arrived by then. Might have to do some shopping online with my dad's card and click and collect (I love him so much for how much he helps me, bless him) because I need some kind of smart jacket too and I can't leave it to the last minute because I can never find anything!

Still on track with plan, no syns so far today. I tend to keep anything higher syn for the evening, definitely my munchy time. Desperately need to clean the place up, a few days of migraine and I neglect it so badly that it turns into a tip. Suppose I'll get the hoover out now, since I'm out of distractions to procrastinate with!

 

[timmieatimbo]

Excellent news about the interview. Woohoo! What are you thinking of wearing?

Interesting what you say about the fizzy drinks. I want to turn to a 7up free right now before I go out for drinks and a meal with work friends. I'll just have diet drinks and then the meal part will be edemame to start then salad, steamed fish and boiled sticky rice for the main. We're going to a Japanese place which is really great but the SW friendly options are a bit boring. It's basically fish or fish. They fry everything - even the fish, so one has to ask specifically for steamed fish. Tempted to get a vegetable tempura but ask them not to batter and fry the vegetables? Might be too cheeky though.

Oh donkey postgrad studies are so hard! I'm starting to regret this masters. I wanted to bang my head against a brick wall today - 6 hours of complex moral and ethical theory but we haven't even got to the interesting clinical bit yet. I haven't written an essay since my last year of uni and that was 3 years ago now! As a scientist I can't think in this arty/philosophical way. Urrrrgghhh

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

Excellent news about the interview. Woohoo! What are you thinking of wearing?

Interesting what you say about the fizzy drinks. I want to turn to a 7up free right now before I go out for drinks and a meal with work friends. I'll just have diet drinks and then the meal part will be edemame to start then salad, steamed fish and boiled sticky rice for the main. We're going to a Japanese place which is really great but the SW friendly options are a bit boring. It's basically fish or fish. They fry everything - even the fish, so one has to ask specifically for steamed fish. Tempted to get a vegetable tempura but ask them not to batter and fry the vegetables? Might be too cheeky though.

Oh donkey postgrad studies are so hard! I'm starting to regret this masters. I wanted to bang my head against a brick wall today - 6 hours of complex moral and ethical theory but we haven't even got to the interesting clinical bit yet. I haven't written an essay since my last year of uni and that was 3 years ago now! As a scientist I can't think in this arty/philosophical way. Urrrrgghhh

Thank you I've just looked up where it is and it's awkward to get to so I'm going to have to scout it out tomorrow I think. I have a black dress that I'll probably wear with black or grey leggings which is smart enough but I need a jacket. I've seen a few waterfall style blazers that are smart but without seeing them in person I'm not sure. There's a really nice purple one which is work wear but I'm not sure it's interview wear if you see what I mean? Need to have a browse, I had a different size wardrobe last time I interviewed so it's a bit annoying!

Ooh I hope your meal was good - I used to think I was being cheeky asking for adjustments at restaurants until I started visiting America regularly. Now I take the view that if they want my money they need to work for it and provide me with what I need! Nothing is too much over there and whilst I know a big part of it is that they absolutely rely on their tips, which are higher than here, I feel like we lag behind massively. So I hope you went ahead and asked for whatever you wanted! Sounds good either way, although I don't like fish so I'd be a bit stuck

I feel your pain! In my last year I had to take modules that were really absolutely nothing to do with my core subject and everything was completely different, including the assessments. It will pass though and then you'll get to the interesting bit! Although I'd probably favour things the other way round and dread anything clinical. I have every faith in you timmi! arty0011: ----> your personal cheerleader

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

Today is not going well food wise. I'm definitely over my syns and there's a possibility of going out to dinner, which is not something I need when the urge to shove everything in sight into my mouth is particularly strong. ughhh

 

[Poppet12]

Today is not going well food wise. I'm definitely over my syns and there's a possibility of going out to dinner, which is not something I need when the urge to shove everything in sight into my mouth is particularly strong. ughhh

Oh god donkey there must be something in the air. Hope you resisted better than I did *hangs head in shame* x

 

[timmieatimbo]

Sometimes it just happens donkey. It's only one day. Enjoy the meal with your friends. You're so good at this that you'll be right back on it when you need to be! 1 day is nothing in this journey xx

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

Oh god donkey there must be something in the air. Hope you resisted better than I did *hangs head in shame* x

You too Rosie? Ugh, what's going on?! I'm inclined to say it has to be the weather or something given how many people seem to be struggling atm, but I'm not sure I can really believe that for me! Picking yourself up and trying again today?

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

Sometimes it just happens donkey. It's only one day. Enjoy the meal with your friends. You're so good at this that you'll be right back on it when you need to be! 1 day is nothing in this journey xx

Hmm I'm not sure timmi - I'm picking at the wrong things and I can feel my mindset has changed a bit. I want to eat junk again :S I know it makes me feel bad but my head is all about the takeaways and chocolate, I'm not eating proper meals and snacking instead. I mean, I haven't gone and bought 3 huge chocolate bars and crammed them down or anything but it's a struggle. I have been sleeping really badly recently so perhaps that's contributing to it, I had about 4 hours last night and woke up starving even though I ate a lot yesterday! Grrr. Going to try and eat larger meals today and not pick in between I think.

 

[Poppet12]

You too Rosie? Ugh, what's going on?! I'm inclined to say it has to be the weather or something given how many people seem to be struggling atm, but I'm not sure I can really believe that for me! Picking yourself up and trying again today?

I'm not sure! I seem to have peaks and troughs at the best of times but climbing the peaks feels harder just recently.
There does seem to be a lot struggling right now. Can we blame changing seasons?! Lol.
Yes I have dusted down and got back on plan today. Fingers crossed little damage done..
I find if I eat lots or late that I wake up starving too! It's weird cos you think how can I possibly be hungry lol. Hope your sleeping gets better soon :-( are you napping in the day to compensate? Some day don't but I think if you're exhausted sleep when you can, to an extent x

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

I'm not sure! I seem to have peaks and troughs at the best of times but climbing the peaks feels harder just recently.
There does seem to be a lot struggling right now. Can we blame changing seasons?! Lol.
Yes I have dusted down and got back on plan today. Fingers crossed little damage done..
I find if I eat lots or late that I wake up starving too! It's weird cos you think how can I possibly be hungry lol. Hope your sleeping gets better soon :-( are you napping in the day to compensate? Some day don't but I think if you're exhausted sleep when you can, to an extent x

I say we agree to blame the changing seasons, sounds perfectly reasonable to me! The waking up starving thing is (I think) to do with blood sugar spikes and drops - annoying because almost certainly I didn't need to eat the moment I woke up, or as much as I ate. Never mind.
I'm not napping, I'm trying to exhaust myself to a point that I can't stay awake at night, because right now I am awake until 5am regardless of what time I woke up in the morning or what I've done during the day. If I had a lot to get done each day I'd be napping but it doesn't help the migraines when I intend to nap for 20 minutes and invariably wake up 3 hours later having switched the alarm off at some point!

Hope your day has gone to plan!

 

[Poppet12]

I say we agree to blame the changing seasons, sounds perfectly reasonable to me! The waking up starving thing is (I think) to do with blood sugar spikes and drops - annoying because almost certainly I didn't need to eat the moment I woke up, or as much as I ate. Never mind.
I'm not napping, I'm trying to exhaust myself to a point that I can't stay awake at night, because right now I am awake until 5am regardless of what time I woke up in the morning or what I've done during the day. If I had a lot to get done each day I'd be napping but it doesn't help the migraines when I intend to nap for 20 minutes and invariably wake up 3 hours later having switched the alarm off at some point!

Hope your day has gone to plan!

That's settled it then, changing seasons it is ;-)
I think you're right about the sugars thing! It's always worse if I've been a chocolate fiend.
Ahh I didn't think about the impact it might have on migraines. I'm tired just thinking about 5am lol hope you've had a good day? Fingers crossed you manage a better snooze tonight x
I have been relatively good- stayed within syns and met the criteria of the soup challenge! But OH has bought cookies :-( I've had one and synned it but id quite like at least one or two more lol. Must resist! X