DD - how horrible having a dentist who's rough. I know it's hard in the UK to find a dentist to take you on, else I'd advise walking. At least over here we can just go to a different one... (and pay him instead!)
That does sound awful DD, and I'd not be able to resist telling them why you wanted a different person. My dentist works alone in a "flat" type environment, as is common over here. I told her when I first came that I have a low pain threshold, particularly where teeth are concerned, and she duly treats me with kid gloves! Lovely!