I have been pretty AWOL from minimins lately too but like to pop in and see how people getting on (mostly life wise rather than weight loss lol !) good on you getting back into it x
You have a good excuse for going awol though chick! Buying a house must be pretty hectic! xx
Hi!
I've spotted your diary a few times because I LOVE your name
Thought I'd say hello. I've read the first two and the last two pages lol. Sounds like you're very, very hectic at the moment. Not surprised you're not finding time to cook or eat with all the Uni stuff going on. Take care.x
Hiya
thanks for stopping by! Yeah, things are hectic and I'm stressed out
! xx
Not really been on plan since my last post tbh. I tried though, had decent dinners this week instead of pizza (had pheasant the other night, felt so posh until I almost swallowed a piece of lead
) but I did actually have pizza for dinner yesterday
I am addicted to pizza ffs
My friend was telling me that when you don't eat properly, you're more likely to want to eat junk food because your body needs a quick boost of energy (because the crap you ate earlier didn't do the trick), so rather than having to bother with the digestion of healthier foods like pastas, meats, fish etc, your body goes "oh look a sausage roll, that'll do!" which then also doesn't do the trick, and the cycle continues.....
so I think to get back on plan, I actually have to eat healthily even if I don't want to. That sounds so stupid haha! I know what I mean.. I need to ignore the cravings (even if it has been a really bad day, or those bloody revision notes are useless, or it's Tuesday so why not, or any other excuse I might come up with
)
Ok so today I ate a nutri grain elevenses for breakfast, then for lunch I had a chicken sandwich that I made myself - no shop bought crap, then I had a handful of foamy bananas (also addicted to these), and thought I'd done ok, that's not a bad start to a healthy eating day is it? Got to about 3pm and was picking up stuff for dinner tonight (which we haven't eaten yet because of the following information...) and ended up buying an "aromatic duck" wrap which was mostly tortilla and cucumber.. didn't check calories cos I'm an arse but figured I could find it on MFP later. Got home, was still hungry so ate 2 penguin biscuits, a danish pastry, 2 waffle things that weigh a tonne but take 2 secs to eat and some more foamy bananas
.. safe to say I didn't bother with the MFP diary today.
So it's like almost midnight and I haven't eaten anything 'real' today, so I will wake up tomorrow feeling like absolute crap like I have done every day these last few weeks, probably sleep in (because that's a thing I do now) and will regret it all but will still probably end up eating similar crap again tomorrow
I feel like a bloody lost cause. I know only I can change things, but there's this idiot stuck in my head who won't let me!! I think... basically... I bought loads of new clothes, because my old ones were hideous and I was chuffed about getting into 24s, a couple of 22s, and I had money to burn... so now I have all these new clothes and I feel confident in them, it's like my whole reason for losing weight is gone because I don't need to be a size 12 to wear what I want to? Well I still do feel like that but it's not as strong as it was before
I just feel horrible.. I ache everywhere, I wake up tired after 8 bloody hours of sleep! I can't even get up in the mornings, slept in too many times recently. I can barely get around uni without feeling like I'm about to die from exhaustion. I feel mentally unwell too, like constantly down and moody. My get up and go has got up and went
I thought maybe writing down the brutal honesty of my life just now would help, maybe spark something in me to stop this bullshit, but nah. I can't get my motivation back :sigh:
Anyway. I need to lose weight or I'll die, basically. Maybe not tomorrow but certainly earlier than I want to. Eating unhealthily reminds me of smoking a bit, you know you should stop but it's so bloody hard. Then you go so long being smoke free until one night you get drunk and buy 20, smoke 10 on the night out and can't justify chucking the rest away the next day so you just keep smoking! Like buying a kebab and eating the leftovers for breakfast
sort of...
Tomorrow I will eat my usual nutri grain for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, only in uni for 1 class so shouldn't be hungry whilst I'm there (but will be armed with more nutri grain goodness and a clementine just incase)... Then steak for dinner with some rather unhealthy side dishes - onion rings & a cheesy potato bake thing - but I will calorie count it all and hope for the best. I don't have much in for snacking but there's yoghurts and 100cal crisps which should do me
have been putting off buying healthy food because it just goes to waste
Maybe if I can just make it one day without ruining it I'll actually be able to stick to it??
I'm thinking of just living off those healthy choice ready meals for a bit. That way I get my quick fix dinner, no cooking or messing around with the MFP app to put all the separate ingredients in (lazy but omg it annoys me so much when I can't figure out how much dry weight of rice I used - crap scales btw - or what x amount in grams is in cup measurements
) aaaaaaand they're actually okay, for something you microwave anyway. (My brother, who isn't overweight he's just a bit beer-bellied, has lost 1 stone living off those freaking meals!) Hmm just an idea but dunno how long I'd last before the sight of microwaved lasagne made me boak!
This is a really long post. Sorry. I've been sat in silence for hours and all this energy just came out of nowhere
I will post tomorrow to update on how my first day of not being an idiot went. Actually starting to feel some enthusiasm about giving this a really good shot again. Maybe I will even post a food diary! Might keep me on track a bit?
