Well i don't think my weight will have returned to normal.. because i've not exactly been good!!
Met Jennie Monday evening and she got my head back in the right place, because of her fantastic willpower and determination to SS... So Tuesday was okay, although I did go out for meal with the ASM in the hotel - I had chicken Sag Wali (on its own - so basically it was just chicken and spinach curry.. don't think it would have been too bad .. but obviously not to good either - since 2 or 3 weeks ago I would never have considered eating anything at all!!!!!)
ANyway Wednesday I SS'd all day.. even though I went to the McVities factory for a visit and ended up in their factory shop - bought 15 packs of biscuits for £4!!!!!! None of these were for me - most I gave to my mum and sister, 2 packets for the girls in the office and 3 packets for my ex to thank him for having Buster all week.
Thursday morning I think I was in Ketosis.. coz I had the grotty taste back in my mouth when I woke up... all went well - had to have a shake early though as I had miscalculated on Tetras so needed to mix shake before I left my parents house to go to the office. Got to office, gave the girls the biccies.. and then when they opened them ... i put it off and put it off and then stuffed my face with 6!!!!!!!!! (Choc and caramel digestives too... sooooooooo bad!) Then they were off to Subway for lunch and without even thinking I ordered chicken salad (only had lettuce, cucumber and tomatoes.. but I did have sweet onion sauce).. think that part of the day wasn't too bad...but the 6 biscuit issue was making me feel like a huge failure, felt weak and shite and was sooooo damn disappointed with myself after my excellent first 10 weeks.. its all gone a bit crappy during January (although admittedly most of it has been just chicken until this week!)
ANyway I then got stuck on the A14.. I left the office at 4.30pm and didn't get to the M1 until 7pm!!!!!!!! I wasn't hungry, but i was still thinking about food! I made a decision to get it out of my system (helped by fact I knew i couldn't have a foodpack until i got home).. so when I eventually got to the services at nottingham, i had fish and chips - totally not satisfying or yummy at all!!! Ate all the fish (was v small) and a handful of chips - so left a plateful of chips! Was v full afterwards.. but due to the huge disappointment i felt with myself I think weirdly it has helped, the meal was totally not nice and I wasn't even hungry - i ate for the sake of eating.. but I think it has *fingers crossed* got my back into the right frame of mind again! I really hope so anyway. Not had any foodpacks now since yesterday morning... due one in about 30mins, have drank a litre of water already and it feels like a normal day. I'm out on the town tonight, and I'm driving - i'm not even gonna bother drinking as I have done on the last 3 or 4 nights out! Its not worth it, i only have 1 stone 3lbs to go (hopefully I haven't put anymore on - i haven't weighed myself and I'm not going to until monday weigh in day!) I am not going to jeopardise and mess my diet up any longer - its like throwing away all my hard work, and for nothing - because the biscuits really weren't THAT good and as for the fish and chips, they were gross!!!!!!!
So hope to be back in ketosis soon.... need to go buy some more stix and check it out - THIS LAST STONE IS COMING OFF AND STAYING OFF... AND THEN I WILL MAKE DECISION WHETHER TO DO SS FOR ANOTHER MONTH OR TO FOLLOW THE MAINTENANCE!
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