Warning....one very depressing post I’m afraid to those who have braved to read my diary!
So today was d-day at the hospital and sadly the news is not good. I have malignant melanoma (skin cancer) thanks to a total cock up by the pathologist 3 months ago who missed it! Got to the hospital at 2:30 and didn’t get home until half 6. Met with the Consultant dermatologist to give me the grim news then had to wait to meet my cancer nurse and then the plastic surgeon consultant.
Now got to have a ‘wide excision’ of my existing scar where they will chop off around 3cm of good tissue all round the scar and then will have to do either a skin graft or a flap to cover the hole. Due to my age and thickness of the mole they are also going to do a lymph node biopsy at the same time to give me a classification of disease and prognosis. At the moment who knows what lies ahead. They watt o do this within the next 2 weeks and will be under general anaesthetic so bricking it is a total understatement.
So now I have a huge dilemma diet wise......it’s 10.5 weeks til Jamaica (if I am allowed to go!) and was planning on TS for 8 weeks at least. Now I’ve read on here about VLCD’s and general anaesthetics so will have to check that out unless anyone has any advice. I was thinking of being TS til a few days before then going WS until surgery then trying to be WS post-op although not sure this is safe.
Either way this means I will be genuinely fat and obese for my much needed holiday which breaks my heart more than this diagnosis. Yes I’m nearly 6 stone lighter than I was but I am still a bleedin whale and have spent a small fortune on ebay on smaller clothes that simply will not fit now. Truly broken.
Totally, totally gutted and feel completely numb to be honest. As a nurse it is usually me having these difficult conversations so to be on the receiving end was not nice, especially as they painted a bleak picture right now. I got all the risk factors against me- pale, freckles, sun burn, multiple moles etc so I am worried. Apparently I will be off work for a few weeks post op too to recover as won’t be able to do lifting and stuff at work. Now stressing about uni too as that starts next week!
So now to tell friends, family, work, uni etc. Meant to have a job interview on Fri but no point going as will be taking time out for this so not worth the effort. Meant to be picking up new car on Sat but now questioning can I afford it if I have to lose my extra earnings thro sick leave, uni results due any day, oh and not forgetting cat leg amputation on Fri............could my week be any worse?????????????????
So now at work- tired, emotional and still numb. Sorry to be a dull-gaga tonight. Thanks for all your well wishes- truly meant a lot. Normal gaga-service will resume at some point xxxxx
is it Nov? Can I eat yet?
