Gen's CD Diary... Day 185... gonna give SS another bash!!

[bobby69]

Hi Gen,
Sorry you are having a tough time.

You have done so well to get this far.

Been reading your post and I agree with Mini about your friend being a taker. At the moment he is draining your energy and without knowing it is eroding your ability to stay focused on CD to reach your goal.

When we worry/get upset about someone else we need a way to let go of that worry/upset and for most of us that release is food.

Maybe it is time to let him stand on his own two feet. You need to replenish YOUR energy and re-align your focus on goal. LOOK AFTER YOURSELF - Be Selfish

Sometimes it is very hard to see it as we are too close to the other person.

Good Luck Gen

 

[Karen1972]

Gen you are a VERY strong girl. And are so loving and caring it's unreal. What you put up with with this W is astounding. But you see his illness and manage to look past it.

However, his illness is no excuse to treat you the way he does. You do not deserve it and are struggling with your own demons. We are like alcoholics ourselves only with food - how much help and support does he give you??

Don't put up with it sweetie, it's v destructive...

PS i'm so glad i didn't offend you earlier!! was worrying about that!!!

Luv,

 

[Gen]

Hi Gen,
Sorry you are having a tough time.

You have done so well to get this far.

Been reading your post and I agree with Mini about your friend being a taker. At the moment he is draining your energy and without knowing it is eroding your ability to stay focused on CD to reach your goal.

When we worry/get upset about someone else we need a way to let go of that worry/upset and for most of us that release is food.

Maybe it is time to let him stand on his own two feet. You need to replenish YOUR energy and re-align your focus on goal. LOOK AFTER YOURSELF - Be Selfish

Sometimes it is very hard to see it as we are too close to the other person.

Good Luck Gen

Hiya Bobby69

Thanks a million for your reply, means a lot. what you say is sooo true and to be honest have been thinking down that road and kinda weaning myself off him for the past week to 10 days and his response today just got to me but i have been pulling away from him a wee bit. anyway i'm being selfish from tomorrow and taking back the me time!!

thanks again

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

Gen you are a VERY strong girl. And are so loving and caring it's unreal. What you put up with with this W is astounding. But you see his illness and manage to look past it.

However, his illness is no excuse to treat you the way he does. You do not deserve it and are struggling with your own demons. We are like alcoholics ourselves only with food - how much help and support does he give you??

Don't put up with it sweetie, it's v destructive...

PS i'm so glad i didn't offend you earlier!! was worrying about that!!!

Luv,

Thanks a millon karen and you could never offend me, whenever ya think i need a kick up the arse you have my permission to give it!!!

its so true what you said about us being like alcoholics only with food and that has struck a big cord with me. i'm forfeiting my happiness for his and while i know i will and can do it, its possible he may never!!

thanks again for your post!! have ya heard anything re: your date tonight??

love

Gen xx

 

[Karen1972]

he's just this minute texted me!! it's still on!! hoorah! xx gotta go and have a bath now then lol

 

[Tash86]

Hi Gen,

Sorry your having a crap time - it can't be making restarting any easier.

Everyone is right though - you need to start focusing on you and do what you want to do.

I think it is hard though - like you I quite like the way I look now and i've lost all the urgency (god, that sounds a bit vain!) The thread on why its so hard the second time around though is so true.

I wish you luck tommorow - have you thought about trying one of the other plans to make things a bit easier?!

Tash xx

 

[Gen]

he's just this minute texted me!! it's still on!! hoorah! xx gotta go and have a bath now then lol

have a great night... want all the gossip!!!

love

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

Hi Gen,

Sorry your having a crap time - it can't be making restarting any easier.

Everyone is right though - you need to start focusing on you and do what you want to do.

I think it is hard though - like you I quite like the way I look now and i've lost all the urgency (god, that sounds a bit vain!) The thread on why its so hard the second time around though is so true.

I wish you luck tommorow - have you thought about trying one of the other plans to make things a bit easier?!

Tash xx

Hiya Tash... thanks a million for your post.. i'm gonna give SS one last try going into it cold turkey as it were and if i can't do it then i will start with a higher plan and work down. but i'm ready to start tomorrow and am looking forward to getting control back.

if ya see me tomorrow give me a kick lol lol

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

hi guys

just wanted to say thank you for your support today. it has really helped me get through the afternoon without being upset!!!

i love this site!!!

love

Gen xx

 

[sarahjj]

Hey Gen!

Just a quickie to wish you well for your ssing today! Glad you got over yesterday without too much destruction. Have a great day and I'm here if ya need me!

Love Sarah x

 

[Gen]

Hiya guys

well after fighting with myself the whole way in in the car about whether on not to start cd today and coming up with a million excuses why not to, i am actually here with my cup of black tea and a CD bar!!! so looks like i won this round so hopefully the rest of the day will go well altho i'm not sure. anyway one meal at a time and i'll be grand!

on ww, i am surprisingly fine about the whole thing, i didn't make contact with him and there was a missed call on my house phone last night at 10pm with a rather not nice message left but he was very drunk and wouldn't even remember what he said but i'll remind him when he sobers up!! anyway am glad of the break from him for a while and am not upset at all.

had my 'last supper' last night of a chinese and wine and felt sooooo sick and stuffed after it......... not sure how i did that for soooo long before?????

i know i'm on the right road and i will get there so hopefully today is the day, if not, i'm doing one of the other plans tomorrow and working my way down to hopefully start ss'ing on sunday!!

anyway thats all my news i have a busy day today so will only be in and out might not be around for too long!!

hope everyone is having a lovely day!!

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

Hey Gen!

Just a quickie to wish you well for your ssing today! Glad you got over yesterday without too much destruction. Have a great day and I'm here if ya need me!

Love Sarah x

Thanks hun!!

chat to ya later

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

well having not stuck to cd today, knew i wouldn't... i think i'm finally getting sick of eating..... i feel lethargic, bloated and my clothes are getting tighter and i ain't never getting bigger ones!!! i think i'm finally coming to the end of this eating lark!!

tomorrow is another day! starting pilates tonight can't wait!!

Gen xx

 

[sarahjj]

Hey Gen honey!

You're not having a good time of it recently are you? I think you've got a few things going on with you at the mo, and aren't concentrating on the main thing - YOU! You will though, guess you just have to ride through it. Think it would be best to do 790 cals for a few days, then AAM and then see if you can go to ssing. It's not even as if you want the food - you said that you feel lathargic etc! Think of all the good work you'll be un-doing if you give up now (not that I think you'll give up, but you know what I mean!!!).

Gen hun, you have to do it your way, but just make sure you do do it! You're sooooooo worth it, spoil yourself!

Hope tomorrow is a bit better for you - think it would be good if you had a CDC to go to! Are you doing the WIs with WW?

Take care, love Sarah x

 

[Gen]

Hey Gen honey!

You're not having a good time of it recently are you? I think you've got a few things going on with you at the mo, and aren't concentrating on the main thing - YOU! You will though, guess you just have to ride through it. Think it would be best to do 790 cals for a few days, then AAM and then see if you can go to ssing. It's not even as if you want the food - you said that you feel lathargic etc! Think of all the good work you'll be un-doing if you give up now (not that I think you'll give up, but you know what I mean!!!).

Gen hun, you have to do it your way, but just make sure you do do it! You're sooooooo worth it, spoil yourself!

Hope tomorrow is a bit better for you - think it would be good if you had a CDC to go to! Are you doing the WIs with WW?

Take care, love Sarah x

Hiya Sarah

Thank you as ever for your continued faith in me!!!

today i'm not sure where i'm at but i know i'm a lot more positive and i'm beginning to take control again, which is a step further.

i'm going to have my choc mint shake now in a minute and take each meal as it comes. if i do want to eat later i'm gonna have some chicken and brocolli and try get into full ss that way. i'm just giving myself a break cos i was going around in circles there for a while.

i weighed myself this morning and i'm 13 stone now i know some of that is glycogen but feck me i'm supposed to be going down towards the 11's not back up towards the 13's!!!! anyway i feel like i'm starting to claw back some control so thats good.

anyways you are doing so well so keep up the good work girl!!

love

Gen xx

 

[Libbie]

HI Gen
How are you doing?Been reading your thread,you have been having a hard time but you dound derturmined today.
As you say take it one meal at a time and if you do need food stick to chicken and veg.I did 790 last week and it has helped me so much to know that I can eat doing that again this week but do not feel the need to eat so much now.
Keep positive and have a good day.
Love Libbie x

 

[sarahjj]

Hey!

Sounds like you're getting back into it! at least if you know that you are going to let yourslef have food (chick and veg) if you want it then the temptation isn't there coz you're prepared! If that makes any sense! Stick with it and like you say, take each meal as it comes - it's the only way to do it!

Good luck!

Love Sarah x

 

[Gen]

HI Gen
How are you doing?Been reading your thread,you have been having a hard time but you dound derturmined today.
As you say take it one meal at a time and if you do need food stick to chicken and veg.I did 790 last week and it has helped me so much to know that I can eat doing that again this week but do not feel the need to eat so much now.
Keep positive and have a good day.
Love Libbie x

Hiya Libbie

Thanks a million for your post.. i'm just having my choc mint shake at the moment so alls well here for now!!!

it'll be this evening before i get shaky again so i'll just try to prepare myself!

hows things with you??

Gen xx

 

[Libbie]

Hi Gen
Me doing fine today had half a bar so far,been up since 5.30 as hubby work at 6.30,Was walking dogs just after he laft for work.Been on and off this site gat addicted to it.Finished a book,done washing.
On 3rd pt water and 3rd mug coffee.
Going to give myself till 10.30 on here then must do some more housework.
But will be back later,I find the key is keeping busy and finding this site has helped.
Back to work tomorrow for 3 days,always good at work.
Hope your day stays good.just keep thinking about that chicken and green tonight,you will enjoy it so much knowing that you can have it and that you have had a good day.
When I have a long day like today I split my pack,this helps me get through the day.
Keep positive
Love Libbie x

 

[Gen]

thanks guys for your support!!

i have totally been putting other people before myself for the past couple of weeks and thats where i have fallen down, its time for me to be mrs selfish again for a while!!!

just had my choc mint shake and it was yummy!!! my chatterbox is chattering away but i'm keeping it at bay for the moment.

heres to a great day for us all

love

Gen xx