Hi i`m back again lol

[Roch]

Hi Irene, thanks hun am feeling much better. Unfortunately could not afford to come to Ireland would of luved to thats why i did post about it last year but i did not expect my health to of been so bad which stopped me getting any kind of work, but hopefully will make the next one and maybe will be at goal by then

So hun how r u doing, feels like i have not chatted to u for ages, how is Ava and the rest of the family.
Hope you have had a good week, take care hun and thanks for always supporting me luv Roch xx

 

[IreneH]

Ava is now home and is slowly improving. New baby due at end of October and then we are going on 9 December for 4 weeks
Irene xx

 

[MadamDotty]

Roch that is just fabulous news about coming off all your medication, I'm so pleased for you.

You're a fighter Roch not a quitter and you sound like you're raring to go again, which is fab.

you can do it honey, take it one day at a time & keep posting, cos we all love you.

Take care

Jan
xxx

 

[Roch]

Thanks Jan hun, its good to hear someone has confidence in me because i dont have 2 much confidence in myself but am working on that big time.

Well its the end of day 1 for me ssing and i feel ok got a headache but its expected lived off toast for the past 2 weeks so what can i expect, going to have an early night will be in bed by 11 have to get up at 6.40 in the mornings as Aaron leaves at 7.30 for school so might go back to bed after he goes to school.

Cooked spag bol for Aaron today and not a morsel passed my lips so thats a first for me lol
Take care hun and thanks for believing in me.
Sleep well hun and chat soon xxxx

 

[Roch]

Ava is now home and is slowly improving. New baby due at end of October and then we are going on 9 December for 4 weeks
Irene xx

Irene hun thats such good news to hear that gorgeous baby Ava is on the mend am so pleased.
Mazel tov hun another grandchild on the way thats amazing news.
You have so much to look forward to this year and you are such a caring lady you deserve to be happy and have a good life.
Sorry am a bit emotional tonight dont know why lol
Take care and chat soon xxx

 

[sonkie]

Wow Roch that is so amazing, no meds woweeee.
And you sound so much more positive too, I know how you feel about getting to 20 stone, it is a big milestone.....I was over 26 stone at my heaviest though I never knew my true weight, no scales would register. So managed to get some weight off, then weighed 25st 5lbs on gps scales the day before starting lipotrim.

Hope you succeed hun, if anyone deserves it you do. xxx

 

[Roch]

Well end of day 1 for me ssing and apart from a terrible headache i am ok, recently when i have tried to get back on i have given up by 2 pm and stuffed my face with my fave food toast (gosh i am sad lol ) but today for some reason its different.
Cooked Aaron spag bol and not a morsel touched my lips.
Fingers crossed for another good day 2morrow, not sure how long it will take for me to get into ketosis as have had massive amounts of carbs recently so fingers crossed not more than 72 hrs.
Off to walk Ebonym then a shower and a early night.
Am in a funny mood just made really bitchy comments about Charley from Big brother on the bb thread, that girl seriously annoys me.

Going to log off now and see ya ll in the morning, take care and sleep well xxxx

 

[Roch]

Wow Roch that is so amazing, no meds woweeee.
And you sound so much more positive too, I know how you feel about getting to 20 stone, it is a big milestone.....I was over 26 stone at my heaviest though I never knew my true weight, no scales would register. So managed to get some weight off, then weighed 25st 5lbs on gps scales the day before starting lipotrim.

Hope you succeed hun, if anyone deserves it you do. xxx

Thanks hun, its a bit wierd to be ssing again but i feel its the right time to try for the very last time, so fingers crossed day 2 will be good for me as today was.

Hun hope u have a wicked visit with Wayne and he really gets uplifted from your visit, he is lucky to have such an amzing sis like u to be there for him.
Am off to walk Ebony and am cold and shattered, take care hun, sleep well and sweet dreams xxxxx

 

[Roch]

As i sit here now typing i am seriously shivering and shaking am freezing cold, am sitting here in the lounge as i could not sleep and have the heating on and a thick fleece wrapped round me.
I never have a prob falling asleep and sleep even in winter with my bedroom window open as i need fresh air which ever room i am in but today have been feeling cold since 4pm and b4 i put the heating on 20 mins ago and added the fleece my feet were like blocks of ice.

I hate being up this time of night especially my first day of ssing as i went to bed hungry and in the past if i could not sleep which was very rare i would sit in the lounge watch tv and eat some comfort food which is usually 3 pieces of buttered toast (carb queen i am) so as i am sitting here freezing cold trying to take my mind off the fact i am starving i thought i would come online and try and take my mind off food !!!!

Well its offically day 2 now as it 12.56 and i cant tell u the last time i got through the first day without giving in to a slice of toast, so am feeling chuffed and happy, maybe i suddenly have found some willpower !!

I really hope that being online for the next few mins will make me soooo tired that i manage to go to sleep as i really dont want to be up this time of morning.

Well off to see who is still online for a chat, take care and sweet dreams, hope my dreams wont be about food lol xxx

 

[Roch]

 

[Roch]

Well had a rubbish night was online here posting at practically 2 am but finally managed to get back to sleep, forgot i could have a sleep in as Aaron did not have to be at school till 10.30 am today and when i woke up to go to the loo around 5 am i remembered and changed my alarm, then at 7.30 am Aarons friend who he goes to school with rang the buzzer i was in such a deep sleep did not even know who it was, as he is in year 7 he had to go to school but all the other years started at 10.30 so am now up and ofcourse decided to come online and see whats going on lol

Well its day 2 for me and apart frm feeling freezing and tired am doing good, obivoulsy still hungry but this time i am not going to allow my greed to make me give in and eat, got through yesterday and hopefully by sunday will be in ketosis and things will then get easier !!

I feel different this time, i know i have posted things like this b4 and fallen so easily but i am sick of this life and so lonely i want to work and socialise and not be in my flat 24/7.

Fingers crossed i might be allocated an urgent management transfer which will give me enough points to bid for a house round the corner and my gp has signed my medical form saying i have probs with the stairs in the flat.laint to my I made a formal complaint to my housing ass as i have put up with so much harrasment living here, Aaron has been phyisically assualted by 2 members of a family both adults when he was only 8 and 10 yrs old i have bene called a "!dirty jew" and they spat in my face and the ha never took it seriously and now i havea housing lawyer on my case and am kicking up a stink they know that i will cause them major probs and take them to court if they dont sort out my housing probs, these probs have added to the depression i suffered and also the agrophobia there has been so many other times i have been a victim of harrasment over the 7 years as this one family done like jews and they have a big family living here there are 6 flats and they are all related and it has been pure hell,when they could of given me a management transfer 2 years ago they turned me down and now u have to bif for properties and one of the complaints i made is they gave me the wrong points which i am waiitng to hear about today from one of the big wigs in the ha.

Anyway have to pop out and get some dosh for Aaron and get back by 9 to get him up for school my alarm has gone off 3 times and he still has notheard it lol

Hope u all have a good day, hope the ketosis fairy comes and visits me sooner rather than later.
Take care and chat later , need some pain killers got withdrawal headaches from hell !!!

 

[I will do it this time!]

Roch, reading your post about the victimization you have suffered in and around your home made my blood boil! How dare people treat others like this??
Anyway.... I have been reading through your thread and can see you are strong... It is just hard sometimes to get past pain and break out of a rut... but you are here now!!!!
I am on day 4 today so have a long journey to go ..... But with people like you around to keep me sane I will do it.... JUST LIKE YOU WILL!!!!
Good luck for a positive day!

 

[kazbro]

hi roch
well done on getting through the 1st day of ss
you sound so much more positive now
want to wish you lots of luck

kaz

 

[MadamDotty]

Day 1 is done and over, you can get through day 2, you didn't succumb at all, even when you couldn't sleep and were up on your own in the middle of the night, you're proving (to yourself) that you CAN do this, you WILL do this and you ARE doing this. Hang on in there, the ketosis fairy is just around the corner and you know it'll get easier, and you'll only make it harder if you give in and eat carbs. But a big well done for getting through day and night 1

Well i hope the HA sort something out for you, it's absolutely appalling what you've had to put up with and I'm so glad you know have the courage to stand up to them and kick up a fuss, they've messed you about for too long and it's time for it to be right. Gosh Roch that would give you such a great boost to be able to move out of that flat which has so many bad emotions and associations attached to it, a new start to the new Roch in a new house - you know I think that that second part of this year is going to be smiling for you Roch

Take care & have a good day - keep glugging that water
xxxx

 

[Roch]

Roch, reading your post about the victimization you have suffered in and around your home made my blood boil! How dare people treat others like this??
Anyway.... I have been reading through your thread and can see you are strong... It is just hard sometimes to get past pain and break out of a rut... but you are here now!!!!
I am on day 4 today so have a long journey to go ..... But with people like you around to keep me sane I will do it.... JUST LIKE YOU WILL!!!!
Good luck for a positive day!

Thanks hun for stopping by. U r so right it is very hard to break through pain and get out of a rut and all i can say is that i am giving it my all.
Well done 2 u for getting to day 4, u should be in ketosis now if not its just round the corner for u and things will def get easier then.
People like me to keep u sane are u sure bout that one
Hope u have a good day, take care and thanks xxx

 

[Roch]

hi roch
well done on getting through the 1st day of ss
you sound so much more positive now
want to wish you lots of luck

kaz

Hi Kaz thanks hun for stopping by, was just looking at ur pic on your post WOW what a differnece between both pics u have done so well and u look amazing !!
Hope u r having a good day take care xx

 

[Roch]

Day 1 is done and over, you can get through day 2, you didn't succumb at all, even when you couldn't sleep and were up on your own in the middle of the night, you're proving (to yourself) that you CAN do this, you WILL do this and you ARE doing this. Hang on in there, the ketosis fairy is just around the corner and you know it'll get easier, and you'll only make it harder if you give in and eat carbs. But a big well done for getting through day and night 1

Well i hope the HA sort something out for you, it's absolutely appalling what you've had to put up with and I'm so glad you know have the courage to stand up to them and kick up a fuss, they've messed you about for too long and it's time for it to be right. Gosh Roch that would give you such a great boost to be able to move out of that flat which has so many bad emotions and associations attached to it, a new start to the new Roch in a new house - you know I think that that second part of this year is going to be smiling for you Roch

Take care & have a good day - keep glugging that water
xxxx

Hi Jan, thanks hun u are always there supporting me and i really appreciate it.
Cant wait for ketosis to kick in as i totally forget about food then and its so much easier lol
Got the headache fromm hell but its my own fault as the amount of carbs i have consumed recently no wonder i am having major headaches and i did not ease myself into ssing i just threw myself straight in after a few days of having untold carbs :sigh::sigh:

The situation with my flat is a bad one and fingers crossed i will get it sorted out at this level if i am not happy with the outcome of the convo today then i will take it to the other 2 levels of their complaint system with the help of my solicitor as i am entitled to legal aid and my solicitor is a specialist housing solicitor and is the buisness.
If we have no luck after that then we will take it further to the independent housing ombudsman and let them deal with the situation and if necessary to the local paper, for once they are going to take me seriously and not fob me off !!

So hun how r u doing, hope u r having a good day, will pop along 2 ur thread later on but just wanted to reply to the posts b4 i lie down as my headache is getting worse and the tabs are not working.
Take care hun and chat later xxx

 

[Roch]

Well day 2 has gone ok apart from a thumping headache and a rumbling tummy i am doing real good lol
Am looking forward to the ketosis fairy to visit me and these bloody headaches to go but its my fault for being a carb queen.

I expected to hear from one of the head people at the housing ass today but am i suprissed they did not call me no i am not, maybe they just said they would call me today to fob me off again !!!
First thing Monday morning i am going to call them and see what the outcome of my formal complaint is.

Because i dont have alot of faith in myself i am worried that i will fall off the ss wagon again as i have done in the past and then i know i will be so dissapointed in myself and find it hard to pick myself up again and carry on, so fingers crossed i have the willpower, strength,determination and self belief to stay on track.

Am off to lie down in my bedroom for an hour to try and get rid of this terrible headache i have had since yesterday.
Chat later and take care xx

 

[Roch]

As i sit here this morning typing this post i am not in a very good way phyisically or emotionally.
All through yesterday i felt the pains in my spine and legs starting to appear but i ignored them and hoped it was just a twinge as i had been plyaing lots with Ebony in the garden, but by 8 pm i was in loads of pain and normal painkillers like co codamol were not even touching the pain, i was in so much pain and started vomitting as well and my legs were giving way every time i tried to stand up.Come 12 am i decided i had to take by extra strong meds "Tramadol" and the anti inflam tabs and the anti sickness tabs and i was determined to still not eat i took them with an extra shake i was still crying with pain at around 4 am and if i could of got down the staris i would of gone to Casaulty to get an injection in my spine but there was no way i could of made it with just me and Aaron and i was not having the shame of calling an ambulance and they needing more than the normal 2 crew to carry me down the stairs in my flats, so i decided to take another tramadol and the other tabs and i took the decision to have a sandwich as i was having really bad acid reflux from taking the meds b4 with only a shake as they are very strong meds.

I am going to try and get some help to get to the hospital today and get this injection, i am shattered have not slept all night and i am in so much pain.

I just wanted to post here on my thread this morning as i am not going to be around indefinitley, i feel like a total failure and i feel like giving up big time so i have decided to leave the site for the moment but i wanted to say thank u to all of u who have continually been there for me and supported me so much and picked me up so many times but unfortunately this time its just 2 much for me.
I am not going to gain this weight i have lost and slowly i hope to lose the rest but it looks like i am going to be dependant on meds now for some time.

Thanks for being there for me and for being my friends and i know u r all going to sucseed in your weight loss journeys.
Take care, luv Roch xxx

 

[icemoose]

Hiya R

You definately need some clinical help here so give the hospital a call, can you not get the on call GP to come and see you and give the injection so you don't have to move?

Whatever you do today though you must get help, you shouldn't be in the kind of pain you are in.

Hope you feel a bit better real soon!

Mike