how do you lose 2 thirds of your self?

LoChan1984 said:
Ah well, lads have to have hobbies :8855:

I think mine's turned into a teenager already - he's spent his time in his room on his playstation 2 or listening to dance/hip hop music much too loudly for my liking! Do kids develop early these days? :eek:

Must follow your example and do some exercise myself today - none done over the weekend :eek:
Click to expand...

god help you, teenage boys are sooooooooooo grumpy :eek:
mine is in love so can't get any sense out of him most of the time. he is permenatly attached to his mobile phone:sigh:

but then he can be so sweet at times too:D

hope you didn't follow my example i chickened out of the gym, cos i had to go alone and couldn't talk myself round did a lot of walking instead.:eek:
 
food diary for today

B greek yog 0%, honey and strawberries (2 syns)

L ham rocket and tomato sandwich, banana (hex B)

T chicken stuffed with cheese (hex A) and wrapped in lean bacon, BNS chips actifried and mixed peppers courgettes runner beans, mushrooms and onions.
sainsburys bgtys tirimasu (7 syns)

S 4 ameretto biscuits (3 syns)

12 syns today :D

the tirimasu was so worth the syns really wanted something bad and that was the compromise. It was yummy :17729:
 
Morning sweetie,
Don't and never have had teenage sons, but have a husband that even at 66 sounds exactly like your teenage son, so I am guessing it's something they never grow out of :eek:
I am amazed you even made it to the gym with someone, even now with me feeling quite confident most of the time, I'm not ready to join one, so I am astounded by your progress and really admire you for it. You have to take things at your pace sweetie no matter what anyone thinks or wants you to do.
Walking is a good replacement until you are ready to get there alone. :bighug: ...I look at you and what you have achieved and I am so bloody well proud to have been with you on your journey and will be here till the end, you are an amazing inspiration to each and every one of us hunni :hug99:
Hope you have a fabulous day and I will catch you later xxxx
 
woo hoo i have the house to myself :D

hubby and teen have been at each others throats this morning and then teen had a slam about :sigh:
sometimes it really gets me down when they are like this. normally i would end up having a binge but today i haven't but it has definetly lowered my mood :cry:

sooooo glad they have both gone out isn't that awful. Hubby has gone back to work so i can get my routine back :)

tea is in the slow cooker tidying up done
think i am going to sit and read my book :D

hope your all having a good day will post a food diary later xx
 
broadsbean said:
woo hoo i have the house to myself :D

hubby and teen have been at each others throats this morning and then teen had a slam about :sigh:
sometimes it really gets me down when they are like this. normally i would end up having a binge but today i haven't but it has definetly lowered my mood :cry:

sooooo glad they have both gone out isn't that awful. Hubby has gone back to work so i can get my routine back :)

tea is in the slow cooker tidying up done
think i am going to sit and read my book :D

hope your all having a good day will post a food diary later xx
Click to expand...

Good on you, resisting the temptation!! You are so strong, stick with it hun! :)

Hope your tea turns out nice, I've been thinking about getting a slow cooker, are they any good? Can you do all sorts in them, I am a vegetarian (hence the desire to grow all my veg lol) so I guess I could do a load of veggie stews?

Have a great evening hun! :)
 
I've only been missing in action a few days and look at you, you've turned into a gym bunny. Well done, I'm really impressed :D

I think for me it was the weight before the panic attacks. I feel as though where ever I go people are looking down at me because they think I'm fat, lazy, ugly and any other negative words you can think off. Over time I actually believe all this which has resulted in me feeling really low and negative about myself. Then I started to avoid certain situations so I didn't have to feel like this. Stay at home, eat more and get bigger and bigger. The bigger you get the less you want to go anywhere. Then you start to get nervous about doing things that you used to take for granted. I really feel as though everyone is watching me and thinking I look disgusting in whatever I'm wearing. I know in reality it's not like that but it will take time for me to feel worthy.

Sorry I've waffled for so long :)
 
Hi Mandy, hope you're having a lovely relaxing evening and everything is now calm in your household. xxx

Ditto Tilly my thoughts and feelings exactly and all the same reasoning too xxxxxx
 
well i have been to the gym and managed a good 35 min workout :D

slightly tierd now :confused:
but lots to do, cos teen has invited his girlfriend for tea :eek: amazed at how anxious this has made me. i have met her before and she is a really nice girl, she has been to tea before so it is a bit silly really:rolleyes:

never got round to posting a food diary yesterday so here it is I will post todays
later

B scrambled eggs, tomato, mushrooms and bacon, 3 slices wm toast (hexa)

L mugshot, 4 crispbreads (4 syns) bananas, grapes

T savoury mince hotpot packed with veggies :D

S grapes, 4 amerretto biscuits ( 3 syns)
 
:woohoo: look at you all exercised out :character00116: :whacky068:...I am totallly in awe of you :worthy:...so glad you found the inner strength to get back to the gym.
I can understand feeling that way about the girlfriend coming over, I am still like that with everyone and anyone coming here, I just want everything to go perfectly and hope they don't leave thinking I am a useless slob basically...but I am becoming a little more confident where that is concerned ...I now often think if they don't like it they know where the front door is :giggle: and I mean it too.
Anyway don't get too stress :silly: sweetie and have a lovely day, you so deserve it xxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Yay! 3st shiny buddies! lol Definitely don't be disappointed hun - you've received your 2nd goal milestone :D

Hope your appointment goes/went well and I wonder how tea with the son's girlfriend went? xxx
 
Hi Hun, well done on your gym visit, and on your 3st shiny!!! That is excellent, I bet you are super happy!! :D

Keep up the good work hun, I have not been to the gym myself yet (doh) but I did do 45 minutes on my new Just Dance 3 game which turned up this morning, so at least that is something! :)

Have a great evening!! xx
 
gosh that was a very busy couple of days:eek:
almost interferred with my computer time :eek:

realised after i posted earlier that not only did i do the 3st but also 10%
so 2 new shineys to add.:D

tea with teens girlfriend went quite well althougth i felt a bit like a spare wheel. made a quorn mince lasagna for them (gf is vegeterian) and it all got eaten so that seems ok.
Its so funny watching teen being so attentive to her, carrying her bags, getting her a drink, ensuring she had everything he needed. Its like haveing a differant person in the house, almost think she should move in :giggle:

food diary for yesterday

B scrambled egg on toast (hexb)

L chicken salad with chilli sauce (4 syns)
grapes, banana.

T winter veg and lentil soup, greek yog 0% with honey (2 syns) gingernut (2 syns) crumbled into it

S packet cheese curls (5 syns)

avoided the lasagna and garlic bread :D
 
well counselling appointment went quite well but as always sets me thinking and exploring myself and the little world i have created.

The upshot of my problems is that i am unhappy, not just with my weight but with my life and more importantly my marraige :sigh:

we finally had the conversation and it went exactly how i thought it would, he got cross, tearful and then started pressing my buttons in order to make me lose my thread and start bulling up his ego:eek:
To be honest i don't even think he realises his does it and its gone on for so long its become the norm.

I have explained that i love him, but that i can't carry on like this.
For exactly 22 yrs (its my wedding anniversary tomorrow !!) i have changed everything about myself to try and make him happy. He isn't and i have taken on all the responsibility for that.
But guess what IT'S NOT MY FAULT !
I haven't ever expected him to change and for all he has never asked me to change he must be aware i have.
I can't understand why he loves me because i don't love me. He can't like this person i have become surely, i certainly don't.
I seem to have spent my life trying to be someone i am not and have filled the void of losing myself with food.
the weight isn't my problem I am :eek:

So now what i don't want my marraige to end, but i want it to change. If he is so unhappy with me i just wish he would leave, during an argument a few years ago he told me the only reason he stayed was cos he has got nowhere else to go:eek:
Of course i believed that and still do despite him retracting it almost straight away and blaming it on heat of the moment. I still believe it :sigh:

I truly don't know what to do :sigh:. In the past i would have had something to eat to get rid of this thought, but not any more i have got to face up to it and so has he.

I am 43 have a job that makes me reasonably financially secure, i have good family support and children who love me.
Do i walk away and repair myself or do i stay and put up a fight
Is loveing somebody enougth:confused:

now i know that was an irrelevent ramble but by writing it down i am hoping i will be able to get some perspective. :eek: xx
 
Well done on your 3st shiny sweetie, you're amazing, I agree writing it down will and does help.
I hope it all goes ok and you do what makes you feel the happiest xxxx
 
:bighug: sweetie, that was quite and emotional thing for you to write and admire you for doing so... its quite a predicament. My sensible logical side suggests write a list, put down how you feel on paper, on one side why you want to fight for your marriage and carry on on the other side why you would go it alone.

I am not saying the list is definative but seeing it in black and white sometimes shows a better picture to ourselves and we sometimes forget some of the reasons we stay as we are etc etc.

Giving you another :bighug: as this is a really difficult time for youxxxxxxxxx
 
today is my wedding anniversary :eek:

hubby wants us to go out to give us sometime on our own so we can talk.

not sure what i want to do, not sure about the going out bit.

either way it will be a meal off plan :eek:
not to worried about this cos its the start of the week and i can pull that back. will food optimise as much as possible but am likely to have a glass of wine :D

never got round to yesterdays food diary cos internet was acting up and running really slowly xx
so hear it is

B scrambled eggs and toast x(hexb)

L prawn salad, fat free thousand island dressing 2 ginger nut biscuits (4 syns)

T turkey steak in mushroom and philli sauce (hexa) baked pots and actifried peppers, mushrooms,onions and courgettes, flora on baked pot (4 syns)
 
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