It's Now Or Never

That will be a brilliant day - and a great target to work towards!!! I don't know what to suggest apart from get yourself some low syn treats in. The Flumps at £1 for 11 in Tesco at 1.5 syns each seemed to work for me. Or some Options to get rid of sweet cravings?

Surely with modern science someone can invent us a syn free chocolate bar eh?!!!!!! :)
 
Oh no! Don't be pissed off! Have a good sleep and face tomorrow with a fresh start! Xx
 
Yeah, I know I'm over reacting. I just know me, and am worried this could be the start of a slippery slope.

Will have that early night, and have a think about what bothering me. Maybe the urge to eat stems from stress. Maybe I'm just a porker lol

Thanks sausage! :) x
 
Oh dear, hope you feel better... I do love a good long night's in bed to try to forget about the world xx
 
Hi Pinkie, sorry you're having a hard time of it! Have a lovely rest and start tomorrow as a new day. You just need to get your Slimming World mojo back!!! Hope you feel better in the morning xxxxxxx
 
Pinkie1973 said:
Yeah, I know I'm over reacting. I just know me, and am worried this could be the start of a slippery slope.

Will have that early night, and have a think about what bothering me. Maybe the urge to eat stems from stress. Maybe I'm just a porker lol

Thanks sausage! :) x
Click to expand...

I find that going back to basics helps. I keep a notebook and pencil by my bed so that when I've had a bad day I can write it down. Why was the day bad? What did I eat that was bad and what triggered it? Then I make a list of why I don't want to be overweight. It's no doubt sounding childish, but it really does help to work things out. I tend to do that whenever I have a bad day, and then I can go back over it. It really does help. X
 
Thanks all. It is prob just the pmt, I get a bad one every so often, perhaps this is it.

Great idea sausage, I am a bit of a writer, so will give that a bash. Have my half day at home tomorrow. So hopefully my team can cope if u sod off for a couple of hours in the afternoon and have my swim, jacuzzi etc. Give me a chance to meditate on it all. Also house is a **** hole. Piles ic ironing and washing up - get that done too, I'll feel happier.

Still, I broke my builders tea habit today, which gives me a whole HEa to use elsewhere :)

Thank you chicas xxx
 
Hi Pinkie,

I haven't read all your diary but I read the beginning bit and the end. I can relate to much of what you've said and I ate quite a lot of Alpen lights on Sunday too (possibly partly (but not entirely) due to * week !). I started from a similar point to you as well a few months ago so I know where you are coming from.

I have also worried (more in the early days than now) about the possibility of just 'losing it' so quickly and falling completely off plan and not being able to get back on but I feel less like that now. I still have days where I'm not completely in control but they are far less frequent now than they were and don't worry me quite as much (although I still have the guilt that goes with them).

I agree with writing down what went wrong to try and prevent it in the future. Also keep a list of how you feel now with your losses so far (what has changed) and what you want to achieve (do you have a list somewhere ? - sorry if it's already somewhere on this thread). Finally I find when I'm finding things particularly tough, don't be too hard on yourself. Just do one day at a time. So for tomorrow, just try and do tomorrow on plan. Don't worry about after that, just tomorrow for now. Then you can feel proud of yourself when you manage it.

Big hugs. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Gail x
 
Good morning all.

I may write in here a bit today. I am home working, which means I have access to my PC, and not just typing on my phone. So another back to basics day lol

Thank you so much for your thoughts on this - it really did the pick me up. It definitely helps too that the weather is so lovely, helps me think a little clearer and put it all into perspective. I have windows open and a nice cup of fennel tea sat on my desk. (My work lap top is also sternly glaring at me, but I am ignoring it for a few minutes!) ;-)

Re: My worries about losing it and falling off the wagon completely - I have lost weight before, and put back on - both times lost about 3 stone. I know why I put back on (not sticking at it, failing to plan, failing to write down what I eat) and I don't intend to make those mistakes again. For the past year, as I’ve mentioned at the beginning of the diary I think, I have tried WW a few times, but lost about ½ stone and just not been able to motivate myself past that point. So maybe I am focussing too much on my past failures, and concerned that history will repeat itself. I think losing just 1/2 lb two weeks in a row, whilst I am pleased because it is still something, feels so tiny compared to the amount I need to lose. I am just sick of being overweight. I am guessing my * week is approaching (it can be an inexact science, though one that is more predictable as I lose weight), which is undoubtedly leading to my mood.

However, I am now annoyed as I've had two blow outs (both evenings, am getting that far) - which means that any good I have done has now been counterbalanced.

I have also been trying to think why it suddenly went so bad on Sunday. I’ve been following the diet for 7 weeks now, not that long really, but didn’t suffer with this desire to eat so much last month. OK, I’m a little further into it now, so possibly not experiencing that initial enthusiasm. I did wonder though, if it stemmed from first thinking I would give up something for lent. I’ve never done lent before, and I’m really primarily doing it this time to support my son who’s giving up sweets for it (bless him, he’s even brought his jar of jelly beans downstairs so he won’t be tempted!). Anyhoo, I think that may be a factor – as the feeling of panic and deprivation hit me straight away!

So I have planned my food for the day – and am trying to stick with limiting my builders teas and going back to the herbal stuff.

Breakfast: mixed fruit, canned prunes (2 syns), branflakes (HEb), low fat natural yoghurt. Cup of tea with skimmed milk (0.5 syn).

Lunch: supernoodle omelette (think I need the comfort of it) with a huge plate of salad).

Dinner: smash pizza – using 42g low fat cheese (HEa), plain smash mix, onions, canned tomatoes, quorn sausages, ham, mushrooms. Served with big plate of salad leaves (I like my salad leaves, so long as they are served with something warm).

Am drinking herbal teas (i.e. had a couple of cups of fennel this morning) and am routing through my collection at home, includes Rooibus, green tea, camomile, ginger. I haven’t got any liquorice tea at home, so will buy some this weekend, if not before. My tummy is really hurting at the moment so fennel and ginger will help settle that. The liquorice is great as it’s sweet tasting – and it will help me with the choccy cravings I’m having.

I may have 150ml of sweetened soya milk in a bit with a pureed banana (7 syns I think) to make small banana milkshake. That used to be my sweet treat more so than choc – and a damn sight better for me too. Really helps stave of hunger pangs too. I am using up my sweetened pack at the mo, but will try the unsweetened one in the future as that is less syns.

So that’s my plan. Am actually feeling far more energised already, just for writing this all down – so if you’ve read any of it – well done and thank you! The sun shining really does help (plus my footie team won 2-0 last night, which I wasn’t expecting – the news is all about the match and how well we did, rather than the supporters having a riot, nice change!). I have even cleared a massive back log of washing up and feeling a little motivated to sort my cesspit I call home out.

Sorry for the ramble, but it helped me a little if nothing else. :D Thanks again for the kind words of encouragement. xxx
 
Writing things down helps you think through it and put things in perspective... well done you for being so positive about it! x
 
erk - that was a bit huge wasn't it? (Doesn't look half as big on the phone - relatively I mean!)

Anyway, thought I'd also share the OU course I'm considering, starting in October. My trouble is I am sort of forced to stay in 6 nights a week as I'm on my own with a young son. Drives me crazy! So I do OU courses (most productive) to keep me out of trouble.

OU Level 2 Philosophy

It gives me the summer to sort my sh*t out, hopefully finally do all the painting I need to crack on with.

Something else I have also been considering, not sure whether any of you will have ever heard of it - is joining a Gingerbread group. It's a group for single parents. There is one near me on a Wednesday evening. I think I'll give it a miss tonight, as the bairn is shattered - a few late nights watching Sky Sports (bad mother, slap wrists). But he's old enough now that I think he could hack staying out to 8.30 once a week, so could pop along next Wednesday. It may save my sanity!
 
I have heard of these gingerbread groups and they do sound like a good idea, for someone like yourself who can't get out as much as the party animal in you would like to!! I don't know if you have many friends in a similar position to you, but I would hope it would give you a realisation that you aren't the only one sitting in every night because you have a child.

funny you should be talking about herbal teas again, my boss has today come in with a few new ones to try, including pomegranite and cranberry and a swet fennel one. I tried the pome and cran one which tasted alright, not so keen on trying the sweet fennel one tho, how can anything make that taste sweet?? She has also stocked up on the detox ones, which have nettle and all kinds of crap in and taste vile, but are good for you apparently!!

The sun is blazing here, but unfortunately we have snow to go with it. I've never struggled driving through a blizzard in blazing sun before, that was an experience this morning!!! xx
 
Wow - you have a blizzard. I think it has threatened a bit of snow, by that I mean a mere smattering - a few times down here of late - but so far zilch. Suits me - I'm not geared up for snow, live in a ditch and can't afford any more time off work.

Try the teas out - even the sweet fennel. Though if you don't like anis based stuff, chances are it won't be for you.

So far I find I am golloping it back same as I would the builders tea, and haven't noticed a blind bit of difference. Except I now have a HEa free for later.

This smash pizza should be a lark too - I'll see how it goes. Not feeling very swimmy right now though. Am currently monitoring a load of processing for a MASSIVE development I have for my system. It is about to come up to the bit that is likely to go wrong - so fingers crossed!!!
 
Oh and thanks for the feedback on Gingerbread. I do have a couple of friends who are in a similar position. Neither of them work though - and have all weekends off from the kids etc - it's just not the same for me at all. Nowhere near as relaxing, stress to get the bairn to clubs etc. Hey ho - wouldn't change it either. Am hoping I may meet others in a similar situation, as you say, it is nice to know I'm not alone, and that other people have 8 year old boys who could fanny about for Britain, and that feel like they are struggling to be adequate parents etc. Just knowing that others feel like that too, does help when it all gets a bit insane! :)
 
Well I got as far as the sports centre and got in my cossy and went straight to the jacuzzi!!! Ha ha - ah well - I feel more relaxed. I was hoping to do a little meditating and get myself all psyched up again, but some bloke kept chatting to me.

I thought I had exhibited signs of mentalness over the past day or two, but he made me feel much better about myself. Apparently doesn't eat for days on end at times, because he likes the intensity of feeling hungry. And at other times will eat 5 meals a day. Shame, as he had a very nice body. ;-) Reminded me of a biker I used to be seeing actually - he was an oddball too. :eek:
 
Hi Pinkie!

I've just enjoyed having a good read of all your thoughts from today! Sounds like you had a nice relaxing time at the swimming pool. I really wish I had my own jacuzzi to relax in. I would be in there every night!!!

I know what you mean when you say you are worried about regaining the weight etc. I can relate to that as that's why I was saying I was "scared" of reaching target. It sounds like you are very motivated not to do that again though and I think if you keep that attitude you will be fine - especially as the fact that you have had a couple of blowouts is making you feel the way it is making you feel. A lot of people on these forums seem to have blowouts but I think it's the attitude to them that separates people - some people play them down and make excuses while you are quite concerned about it and trying to think how you can move forward and I really think that's the right attitude!

Also can I say I think things like supernoodle omelette and smash pizza do help you to stay on plan because it feels like you're eating something so yummy. My faves are lasagna with SW chips, omelette chips and beans or Quorn burgers with cheese, egg, and SW chips. Basically anything that involves SW chips......

Good luck for the week ahead anyway and hopefully once * week is out of the way you will see a good loss. And good luck on kicking the tea habit!!

I really love your tea cup and saucer. It is dead cute. What's Photobucket for phones then - is it an app where you can upload directly as that sounds like something I need!!! Can you edit the photos in any way first?

By the way Maverick can I say I loooove nettle tea! Odd isn't it. Maybe it's the same part of my tongue that likes Scan Bran! But that doesn't explain why I don't dislike the texture of Scan Bran... lol.

Those Gingerbread groups- I think I saw something about them on the telly - would Steven go with you to the group?

Also your OU course looks dead interesting. I don't know much about philosophy other than the fact that at uni I did one module about Jean Paul Sartre and I found it all soooooo interesting. Loved it!

Anyway off to make my Quorn moussaka for din dins now as my hands are freezing! Agree with you about the lovely sun but brrrr it isn't half cold! Especially in my poorly insulated old rickety house :(

Speak to you soon xxxxxxx
 
Thanks Jules for such a long reply. You're very kind. :)

The pool was nice, though I'd have appreciated it a whole lot more if I'd earnt my jacuzzi. Still, there's always the weekend.

I am really determined that I'll crack it one way or the other. I came into this feeling I have to do it now or be fat for the rest of my life. That feeling hasn't changed. I don't want the alternative to succeeding anymore.

Yes I definitely need a stodgy food outlet too. Really enjoyed my omelette today, its been a few days lol Pizza needs some work to improve it, so a work in progress, but that could be another thing that saves me when I need some junk food. Good to know I can satisfy those urges and still stick to my diet.

I've had loads of tea today so consequently haven't worried about my water intake. I reckon I've probably consumed about 4 pints though in herbal tea. That cup and saucer is based on a design from the V&A, and it was on sale in Sainsburys for about £1! So cross though as I managed to chip the saucer on its first wash. Grrr.

Yes Photobucket allows you to upload photos to the internet. You have to register, but then its free. I like it. I downloaded an app for my HTC phone, but I imagine there is an iPhone one too. Don't think you can edit, but to be honest I've neither tried nor looked.

I would have to take Steven to this group yes. It's worth trying, if we hate it, we don't have to go back.

Hope you enjoy your moussaka, may have to try something like that out at some point.

Right, so my food for today. Today was a good day. Thank god, can't believe how much I let that stress me. Maybe we set our standards too high sometimes, then beat ourselves up when we don't reach them. I'm sure I do all the time.

Breakfast: fruit, canned prunes (2 syns), branflakes (HEb), low fat natural yoghurt. Cup of tea (milk, 0.5 syn).
Snack: 150ml sweetened soya milk, whizzed up with a banana (7 syns).
Lynch: this was HUGE! Supernoodle omlette, 2 quorn sausages, about 8 grilled mushrooms and a huge plate of salad leaves.
Afternoon snacks: Apple, 2 clementines, plum, banana.
Tea: smash pizza, topped with peppers, red onion, mange tout, quorn sausage and ham. Plus low fat cheese (HEa). Mixed fruit and low fat yoghurt for pud.

Total syns: 9.5
Water: approx 4 pints in herbal tea
Exercise: oops, nice jacuzzi and steam though :)

Taking a leaf from Gail's book - I've done well to cut out the alpen bar AND try a healthy alternative. I am also pleased to have cut the dusk tea and use my HEa completely differently.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support and listening to me whine on. Hopefully this just a minor blip and I've nipped it in the bud before it became a bigger problem.

:D xxxx
 
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